Читать книгу Poems of Arthur Hugh Clough - Arthur Hugh Clough - Страница 38

Abel. At times I could believe

My father is no better than his son:

If not as overbearing, proud and hard,

Yet prayerless, worldly, almost more than Cain.

Enlighten and convert him ere the end,

My God! spurn not my mother’s prayers and mine.

Since I was born, was I not left to Thee,

In an unspiritual and godless house,

Unfathered and unbrothered—Thine and hers?

They think not of the fall: e’en less they think

Of the redemption, which God said should be;

Which, for we apprehend it by our faith,

Already is—is come for her and me.

Yea, though I sin, my sin is not to death;

In my repentance I have joy, such joy

That almost I could sin to seek for it—

Yea, if I did not hate it and abhor,

And know that Thou abhorr’st and hatest it,

And will’st, for an example to the rest,

That Thine elect should keep themselves from it.

Alas!

My mother calls the fall a mystery;

Redemption is so too. But oh, my God,

Thou wilt bring all things in the end to good.

Yea, though the whole earth lie in wickedness, I

Am with Thee, with Thee, with Thee evermore

Ah, yet I am not satisfied with this!

Am I not feeding spiritual pride,

Rejoicing over sinners, inelect

And unadmitted to the fellowship

Which I, unworthy, most unworthy, share?

What can I do—how can I help it then?

O God, remove it from my heart; pluck out,

Whatever pain, whatever wrench to me,

These sinful roots and remnants which, whate’er

I do, how high so e’er I soar from earth,

Still, undestroyed, still germinate within.

Take them away in Thy good time, O God.

Meantime, for that atonement’s precious sake

Which in Thy counsels predetermined works

Already to the saving of the saints,

O Father, view with mercy, and forgive;

Nor let my vexed perception of my sin,

Nor any multitude of evil thoughts,

Crowding like demons in my spirit’s house,

Nor life, nor death, things here or things below,

Cast out the sweet assurance of my soul

That I am Thine, and Thou art mine, my God.