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Chapter

4: The God Complex

The first thing I did was to pay a visit to the head of the secret laboratory at ZASLON JSC – Dr. N . I will refer to him as (there are several laboratories at the enterprise, all secret). In addition to his main activity, he also practiced psychiatry. E Naturally, my first question – where did it all start?

– It started s, – he gave a questioning look, – probably with what you know too. That's where it all started. That's why you're here, isn't it?

– And all same?

The interlocutor said lazily:

– In our secret research institute, a leading specialist engaged in the development of technology for deciphering the brain's mental signals into alphabetic signals suddenly died. To put it simply, our brain emits signals, which in light of the modern level of science is not even surprising at all. The brain is a complex device, accordingly, if less complex, i.e. all our other organs, have their own background level, then the brain, in which signaling processes take place, emits everything no weaker than the rest. Accordingly, you understand, if it is possible to read information, those very radiation signals, from a computer hard disk at a distance, then why it is impossible to decipher brain signals… It is possible, and the signals of other organs too. After all, electrocardiogram is also a reflection of signals. It is possible to read signals from any organ and decipher them into the familiar verbal form, let's say. Once upon a time, what was going on inside a person, inside organs, was a mystery and bordered on magic. Although people used to cut up animals and see what was inside.

– Animals too," I jokingly quipped.

Seeing a slightly confused expression on his face, explained:

– W animals also cut up people, so people saw what they had there. As an option, not counting executions, cannibalism, accidents, consequences of wars.

– B certainly. With accordingly, against this background, the prohibition of the church , and other religious organizations, to conduct research of human entrails smells of superstition, smells of fear of violation of monopoly. After all, the religious syndicates themselves have been cutting up e how, and since the times of human sacrifice.

– I quite understand the logic of the person who was guided by the attitude to search for such a possibility. The basis of his thought. He judged, including … – I hesitated a bit, – say , here is and blood analysis – this is also a deciphering of the data of the state of the organism. It's an analysis of everything. Data of ultrasound, computer and magnetic resonance imaging and many other types of studies. Encephalogram of the brain is the first letter in this alphabet . By it doctors decipher quite a wide range of data n e only about the state of health.

– I'm pleased with our consensus. That's why I want to reveal to you advanced data. Nowadays science, not even its hypostasis hidden from the public, has reached the level where it is possible to translate brain signals into a verbal, alphanumeric video sequence. More precisely, you can decipher what's going on in your head," o n smiled, and I ironically under shaking my lips, looked at him sideways.

He, almost copying my manner, said in a low tone:

– T about what you think… little what is in your memory.

For a couple of seconds we stared into each other's eyes in silence. Without taking his hypnotic gaze away, he summarized:

– And here the specialist who was engaged in the development of these methods, who had actually and practically already achieved success, who was about to publish them, suddenly dies. Of course, this interested our security service, and the special services , which supervise our security service. Here you are.

– In the course of our investigation, we came across a very interesting situation. And it became interesting when we found out the following… As you realized, I didn't come to you for nothing, – the doctor leaned back in his chair and tuned in to listen. – Our hero was a patient of yours.

After hearing this, the doctor again returned to his previous posture: he moved closer to the table, put one hand on the table, and took his glasses with the other . However, he did not need them, at least to answer the question of the representative of the mysterious organization.

I did not change my intonation, I continued the dialog in the same way, I asked:

– Are you familiar with a character like Chulfa Stefan?

– Oh, that's who you're talking about. Yes, I had a client like that. I for myself noted his diagnosis. You see, people with a diagnosis like that don't accept it. They can become very aggressive.

– What's the diagnosis?

– I put him on theomania.

I raised my eyebrows, staring silently at the doctor. He understood the need to make a correction.

– It's a disorder where outwardly you don't notice anything special. You have to agree that a lot of can be classified as such.

– I within my specifics am a little knowledgeable about your professional terminology. Does this diagnosis suggest megalomania?

– Not exactly, though there is such a thing. It's when an individual is convinced that he is-" the doctor paused intriguingly, "God," he smiled, "or, more modestly, divinely inspired to think and act.

Said changed the expression on my face, I expressed a soundless laugh.

– And how did you determine this, by what his actions or words ? P on what criteria is identified?

– Uh-oh, you should talk to our patients.

I expressed the question again with raised eyebrows.

– No, not the ones who are treated here," the doctor reacted to such emotion, – believe me, we all have some degree of psychiatric illness. I run a private practice as well. I have a special contingent of clients coming, or rather, observed by me for preventive purposes . After all, we are all superstitious. Someone in the devil believes , someone in the house or unclean force, angels … in B oga. And understanding of this is purely individual, interpreted in their own way each . We believe in our imagination… imagined by us. And we want to convince others and the one who is not like us. T o is healthy, by the standards of psychiatry , we want to infect with our superstitions, considering them vicious, i.e. sick. But, alas, I have a lot of things I don't have to voice. You understand.

– About yes. I've encountered both godlessness and godheadedness more than once.

–Well and turnovers you have.

– See, we're in that legion, too.

– Yes- yes, but don't go to the barricades or the front lines. Just quietly smoking a cup of coffee.

I sighed.

– R assay what was bothering him.

– Now that you think of it, how about this very coffee?

– Thank you in advance.

The gray sky outside the window and the dim, matte light in the room were not conducive to conversation . Coffee, especially the aroma , which I especially appreciated in this drink, and the ritual of its consumption ( I prefer without sugar, so I always combine the drink with something sweet), like a magic elixir, transformed both the landscape outside the window and the background in the office .

– A god complex is not a clinical diagnosis.

The professor's voice distracted me from my thoughts. " With lava God," I thought, for they were inspired by the dim view outside the window.

– It's not in the DSM," the doctor continued as he approached a table with a coffee maker and two cups on a tray with a handle. – Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders," he explained the professional acronym. – H e likes to distract the staff because of an unprofessional request," he said, placing the tray on the table.

– God complex? – I inquired about the term.

– Yes, that's what we call him," the doctor expressed a chuckle. – H e is a narcissistic disorder, which is often confused with it.

– Uh-oh, you think I'm good at this. Somewhere something just clicked – and that's it.

The doctor was understandingly silent in response, pouring coffee into cups .

– It manifests itself in people who tend to consider their opinion to be the only correct one," the psychiatry specialist began to explain the symptoms . – In addition, not noticing their mistakes or justifying them . This is such a complex of behavioral problems and experiences. As a rule, such patients are irritated by criticism of themselves. They are also characterized by inflated self-esteem .

I remained silent. I was becoming more and more interested in the practice of the person to whom my investigation had led me. He, having caught the silent "signal," complemented :

– People with theomania have difficulty recognizing or accepting another person's experience.

I've learned the professional terminology.

– As a rule, they are not interested in anyone, they do not like to listen to others, only if it is for their benefit: they are often self-absorbed. And, as usual, this whole complex leads to gaslighting.

The doctor paused for a second, looked intently at me, handed me a coffee and said:

–E then a facet of this complex in which the client denies anyone's reality . Not everyone, of course .

– Customer ? – from curving my lips , said I.

– It's a professional syndrome. It's like they say, "You can't go wrong with anyone.

– And what was it about our client? – a little louder and more cheerfully I asked, signaling an interest purely in the client's case.

– You know, he surprised me right away. He didn't have any special manifestations, but…" Dr. was a little quiet, lowering his voice before doing so.

– What?" I lowered my tone and asked almost warily.

– Everything revolved around one task or problem. He never really defined what it was for him. He kept asking me to explain how his consciousness would react if he suddenly became younger.

– Both- on. What do you mean?

– Here. All the time. I try to hint to him about his complex, and he only shows interest around this topic.

– Paid?

– I told you, I'm in private practice. You want to charge me with using government property?

– God forbid. That's not our department.

We smiled.

– Paid… more and more.

– So what did he want? You must have explained all e to him right away.

– All e, not all e. He asked me to outline his new life. After my question, " h what do you want to change?" he surprised me quite a bit. He started squirming in his chair, looking around, examining the office, noticing my curiosity, expressed partly by repeating his gaze. I began to involuntarily look for the object of his interest, because he even looked under the table, which was quite unseemly. The symptoms were manifesting themselves. Behavior characteristic of people with persecution mania. I only had to test him for megalomania, – the doctor paused again , – he didn't wait long, he said, that he could become the manager of our institute. I smiled a little at this, to which I received: " D what is there institute , I can become…" He didn't finish, started drilling the badge on my robe with his gaze. Then he got up and left. And that was it. When I asked him " what did you want?" he looked around, lingered in the doorway a bit, thanked me and left. Anyway, the symptoms were just pouring out of him, pardon such jargon . I didn't go looking for him.

– Yeah, that's a bit of a bummer. And here I am waiting for a reliable thread in the maze he created…

– So, why don't you tell me about this maze?

– In the course of the investigation, consultants and participants in the case in general, even unwittingly, become aware of some of the information in the case, despite the secrecy of the investigation. I can tell you, – I added thoughtfully, which sounded somewhat fatal . – You only have to sign a non-disclosure agreement… and you become a person of interest in the case.

– You've surprised me once again. I have been on the case for a long time without even knowing about your investigation. Isn't that right?

I looked at the interlocutor , expressing goodwill with a slight smile, slightly raising my shoulders and slightly spreading my hands, while opening my palms. The gesture and facial expressions made it clear – there was no way without it.

– In the foreign intelligence material a certain type, through whom information from your regime enterprise was transmitted or leaked, we don't know exactly yet, is listed under this data.

– Hmm. And what did he report? who's his accomplice here?

– I can't tell you what he said. I can only give you a general idea… – I was quiet for a moment, thinking about what I could tell him without compromising security, because he, like everyone else, was still a suspect . – My materials are related to the work of your suddenly deceased employee, which makes the event doubly suspicious.

– Uh, I said something's not right. I'll do my best.