Читать книгу Home to Paradise - Barbara Cameron - Страница 11

Chapter 4

4

Thanks for the ride,” Rose Anna told Kate as she got into her car. “Mamm needed the buggy today.”

“It’s no problem,” Kate said cheerfully as she pulled out onto the road and headed toward town. “I wanted to talk to you about Brooke.”

“Is she okay? I haven’t seen her for weeks. Is she ever coming back to the quilting class?”

“Yes and yes.” Kate glanced at her then back at the road. “I’ve stopped by to talk to her a couple of times, and a friend from a counseling center did as well. When she does come back we should put her at a table in the back of the room, away from the windows. Pearl said she has an additional table she can set up in the room.”

She paused. “The thing we have to do is help her feel comfortable when she comes back. She’s embarrassed she had an anxiety attack so bad she climbed under the table that day.”

“I’ve never experienced what she has, but anyone can have an anxiety attack. I remember someone I knew had one years ago. She was afraid of going to the hospital for an operation.”

“I wouldn’t wish one on my worst enemy.”

Rose Anna remembered her conversation with Jenny on Sunday and told Kate that she might stop by for a class sometime soon.

“That would be nice. They enjoyed her last time she came. It can get to be isolating at the shelter. They can’t come and go as they’d like since so many of them are hiding from their husbands or boyfriends until we can put the abusers in jail.”

She shivered. “I can’t imagine living like that.” Then she looked at Kate. “I’m not saying we don’t have abusers in my community. That would be lying. You and I know it’s not an Englisch problem.” She thought about how Lavina had told her Amos, John’s dat, had talked to his fraa when she visited their house one day. A man didn’t need to raise his fists to hurt a woman. Cruel words were almost as bad. Thank God Amos had changed, had learned before it was too late.

Now if he would only repair the rift between himself and John, his youngest sohn.

She sighed.

“You okay?”

Rose Anna nodded. “I’m fine. I was just thinking about something.”

“I’ve been told I listen well.”

She tilted her head and studied Kate. “I know you do.” She bit her lip.

“It’s an open-ended offer. Any time you want to talk about anything just let me know.”

“You’re a good person, Kate Kraft.”

“You, too.” She pulled into the driveway of the shelter and turned off the ignition. “If you’re not ready to talk about whatever made you sigh so sadly, let’s go have some fun quilting.”

Relieved, Rose Anna nodded. Funny how someone so different from her had become such a good friend, one who understood her so well. “Let’s go.”

They went inside, climbed the stairs to the quilting classroom, and found it full of women who were already sewing and chatting happily.

And sitting at the table at the very back of the room, away from the windows, sat Brooke staring very seriously at a quilting block in front of her.

“Go help her,” Kate suggested.

“But wouldn’t you be better?” Rose Anna asked. “I—”

“Go. She needs to start feeling normal. Show her how to quilt. We know what happens when women come to this class and start sewing.”

So Rose Anna walked over to Brooke. She smiled. “Hi. I’m glad you came back to class. Would you like some help with that block? It’s one of my favorites.”

“I could use all the help I can get. I don’t have any experience sewing. Well, other than sewing up a gash in my leg one day when the medics had bigger injuries to take care of.”

She grinned self-deprecatingly. “Guess I should thank that home economics class they forced me to take in high school. I’ll show you my stitches someday.”

Rose Anna stared at her as she slid into the seat next to Brooke. “You really did your own stitches? I was the biggest baby you ever saw when I had to have stitches at the emergency room. I can’t imagine putting a needle in my skin. Or going without that shot they gave me before they did the stitches.”

She glanced at Kate helping a student at the front of the room. “You and Kate have lived such different lives than me. Mine has been so . . . boring compared to yours.”

“I’ll take boring,” Brooke said fervently. “Boring sounds pretty good to me right now.”

Rose Anna nodded. “Let me show you how to piece this block. Sewing is very soothing once you get the method. I think you’ll like it. The class has been very popular here at the shelter. Especially since Leah started a shop in town to sell what the women create.”

Brooke watched her pin the block. “I doubt I’m going to get good enough to sell anything.”

She glanced around and frowned at the windows. Rose Anna saw her hands shake. “I hope I won’t have to stay here long. Home became a prison before I had to leave it. I don’t want to feel I have to stay here a minute longer than I have to. I don’t want this place to become another prison.”

Rose Anna’s fingers faltered on the straight pins she was using to hold two pieces of material together. Home had become a prison? How sad. And sadder still to have to be here at the shelter. Pearl made it as safe and pleasant, homelike, as she could, but it still was a hiding place no matter how homey she’d made it.

Home should be a place to feel safe and happy and loved. She knew she’d been lucky to have a good home with her family all her life. She wondered if she had ever told her parents how much she appreciated what they’d given her.

Brooke slid the material under the foot of the sewing machine and then fumbled looking for the lever to set the foot down. Rose Anna showed her. These machines were electric, different from the treadle ones they had at her home, but some things were the same.

She sewed a seam and examined it. “Oh, it’s so crooked.”

“I think it’s a pretty good effort for a first time. But if you’re not happy with it, the seam ripper here is a great tool to rip the seam out and do it again.”

She showed Brooke how to use it and nodded approvingly when she sewed the seam again.

“That’s nice and straight,” Rose Anna told her. “Good job.”

Brooke smiled briefly but avoided her eyes. “Thanks.”

“Sometimes I wish there was a tool to do that with bad decisions.” Rose Anna frowned. Brooke looked pale, and a fine sheen of perspiration had covered her face. “Are you feeling all right?”

“Excuse me. I have to go.” She bolted from the room.

“Problem?” Kate asked quietly.

She turned. “I thought she was doing really well, and then she said she needed to go and ran out of here.”

“I’ll go check on her.”

Rose Anna roamed the room greeting other women and helping with projects. When Kate returned fifteen minutes later she came alone.

“She got a little overwhelmed,” Kate explained quietly. “She just needs to take things slowly for a while. I told her to come back today if she wants, and if not, we’ll look forward to seeing her later this week or next week.” She smiled at Rose Anna. “I think she will. She told me to thank you. She said she enjoyed talking to you.”

“I get to meet such interesting people in the class,” Rose Anna mused. “I’m glad you asked Lavina to help you or none of us sisters would have done something like this. Mamm told me that there’s not as much contact with those outside our community in other places. I suppose it’s because we have more tourism and less farming here so we see more of each other.”

“It’s a unique place for sure,” Kate said. “I’m glad I settled here after I separated from the Army.”

The hours passed quickly, and before she knew it, the women were packing up their sewing in their project boxes, stacking them on the shelves and chatting about what was on the lunch menu on their way out of the room.

“If you have time I thought we could stop for a few minutes at Sewn in Hope on the way home, drop some crafts off.”

“Sure. And remember what you said earlier? That I should just let you know when I was ready to talk? I have a question for you.”

Kate picked up a box from a nearby table. “I’m all ears.”

***

John walked into the kitchen and checked out the contents of the refrigerator.

Nothing new had appeared.

Now that he lived alone he couldn’t expect anything new unless he shopped for it. When he and Sam shared an apartment, Sam would sometimes bring home groceries or—even better—something that Mary Elizabeth cooked.

His stomach growled, and he found himself envying the supper his two brothers were undoubtedly eating right now. Both of them had married women who not only possessed sweet personalities but were wonderful Amish cooks. He enjoyed helping both his brothers with their farms because their wives always insisted on him staying for supper after a workday and then sent him home with a bag full of leftovers.

When his stomach growled again at the reminder of the last time he’d enjoyed a second-day feast, he told himself having regular—delicious—home-cooked meals was not a good reason to get married.

Actually he couldn’t think of any reason to get married. His brothers had good marriages, but the memory of his parents’ relationship was still too vivid for him to contemplate. An Amish marriage was forever. He didn’t want to chance getting into one and not being able to get out.

He got a paper plate and plastic fork from the cupboard, found a package of ramen noodles. A check of the freezer revealed some hamburger patties from Sam’s last barbecue. All he had to do was defrost them in the microwave, then add some bottled spaghetti sauce and serve it over ramen noodles. A poor man’s spaghetti dinner he decided as he sprinkled parmesan cheese on top and settled in front of the television set to eat.

When he’d lived with Sam after they’d moved out of their family home, Sam had been a rather overbearing older brother. Sam nagged him about chores, about keeping the place clean, about where was his half of the rent. He’d criticized his going out with friends to have a couple of beers, to go to a party.

But now as he settled in front of the television for a solitary supper, he found himself missing Sam. He shook his head. Sam would have given him a hard time over what he’d cooked. He’d shaken his head over John’s cooking, teased him about his endless variations of ramen noodle dishes.

John plunged his fork into the noodles in front of him. Hey, they were quick and they were cheap. Two important considerations for a bachelor cook.

And since he was living alone, it was even more important to watch the pennies. He finished his supper, tried not to think of what his brothers were having. They were undoubtedly eating much better tonight. He didn’t want to think about what they were having for dessert.

Well, he’d never envied anyone, and he wasn’t going to start now. If he was going to remain single he was going to have to become a better cook. Maybe he’d ask his friend Joseph Miller for a recipe. He’d become a good cook after living alone for a long time. Many a single Amish woman had brought by meals and baked goods. His mother and sisters had done the same.

Until Joseph had, as he put it, “opened my mouth and put my big foot in it” by saying “how hard could cooking be?” to one of his sisters. She had handed him a salt shaker and invited him to eat his words. Joseph had almost burned his kitchen down the first time he cooked. Now Joseph was often asked for his recipe for macaroni and cheese when the community had a fundraiser potluck supper.

John carried his plate and fork into the kitchen, tossed them into the trash, and popped the top on a can of soft drink. Now it was time to do some work on the place before he showered and went to bed.

Some exciting evening. In the first six months or so after he left the Amish community with Sam, he’d partied hard and enjoyed being out from under the stern eye of his father. He’d had to scramble to find work, of course. His father had used his sons as farm labor and only gave them a small allowance. It hadn’t been much preparation for working in the Englisch world.

His name was John, but he’d become a Jack-of-all-trades doing all manner of work. He hadn’t much liked farming, but he was good with his hands and could fix or build just about anything. Since he’d been driving his brother’s hand-me-down truck, he’d even become pretty good at car and truck repair as well. Peter had hired him recently in his now-thriving construction business. Wages weren’t much just yet, but as business got better he knew Peter would be able to pay better.

John looked around at the small place he rented and debated what to work on for a few hours. He’d painted the living room and dining room the night before so tonight he decided to cut and nail trim and baseboards. The place was already looking better than it had when he moved in. He and Sam had collected a few items of furniture from thrift stores and discards sitting out for the trash collector. Sam hadn’t needed them for his farm. He’d made some furniture for the farm he shared with Mary Elizabeth. So John had inherited a sofa and a battered recliner recently and gotten rid of the lawn furniture he’d used for a time. That was enough for now.

At eleven he quit, swept up sawdust, and hit the shower. He was sore when he went to bed, but it felt good to have accomplished so much in one day.

He might not have much, but he had a skill, a strong body, and a determination to make his own way.

He figured he had a lot after all.

***

“So what’s your question?” Kate asked as she started her car and backed out of the shelter drive later that afternoon.

“How do you get a man to do what you want?”

“I—well,” Kate said, and she paused. “I have to think about that for a minute.”

Rose Anna twirled the ends of one of the strings to her kapp around her finger. “You don’t have to answer. I guess it’s a silly question.”

“I can use a silly question. I had a rough night at work.” She stopped at a red light and tapped her fingers on the steering wheel. “I suppose it depends on what you want them to do. But basically, men do what you want if they think it’s the right thing to do. If they care about you.” She glanced over at Rose Anna. “And, sad to say, if it’s what they want to do.”

“If it’s what they want to do,” Rose Anna repeated slowly. “So maybe if you convince them they want to do something they will.”

Kate pulled into the parking lot behind the Sewn in Hope shop, shut off the car, and turned to her. “Well, yes. You just have to be careful not to be manipulative about it. That would be wrong.”

Rose Anna winced inwardly. Mary Elizabeth had once said that she always got what she wanted, and Rose Anna had to admit that she worked hard to get her way when she wanted something.

Or someone. First John. Then Peter. Now John again.

But if you were doing things with the best of intentions it was allrecht, right? She loved John, and she just wanted them to be together. She wanted him to come back to her. To come back to his life in their community. To come back to his faith, his church.

She wanted him home.

“Most couples find a way to work together, don’t you think?” Kate was saying.

“Yes, if they get to be a couple,” Rose Anna muttered.

“Ah, so that’s the problem. I always thought it was an advantage that the Amish grow up in a community and know each other for years before they date and get married. We don’t usually get to know each other for that length of time in my community. Malcolm and I knew each other for about a year before we got married, and that was a long time compared to some of my friends.”

She checked her rearview mirror and ran a hand through her short swing of brown hair. “I know people are still wondering how we got together—I mean, who’d have figured, the cop and the con—but it works for us. We have two beautiful kids and a mortgage, and we just celebrated our anniversary last week. We’re doing just fine.”

Rose Anna knew the story. Kate had been a police officer when Malcolm Kraft came to Paradise looking for Chris Matlock, a former buddy of his in the military. But he wasn’t looking to renew their friendship. Chris had testified against him for a crime he’d committed, and Malcolm was out for vengeance.

He’d followed Chris to Paradise where Chris was visiting Jenny Bontrager. Chris and Jenny had met briefly when they’d both been recuperating from injuries suffered overseas and kept in touch. Her stories of her life as a convert to the Amish church and how much she loved Paradise had inspired Chris to come here. Malcolm confronted Chris and, in the confusion of it all, accidentally shot Jenny’s sister-in-law, Hannah. Kate had been the first officer on the scene. Hannah had forgiven Malcolm and asked Kate to help make sure he got probation and the rehabilitation and counseling he needed instead of prison. One thing had led to another. Two opposites—a con and a cop—had married and, as Kate said, it was working very well indeed.

Rose Anna and John were such a different story, she thought as she helped Kate carry boxes of crafts to the store.

She and John had known each other all their lives. They’d gone to schul together, played and learned and fought and worshipped together. They’d been in and out of each other’s homes for years and now shared families as well since their siblings had married each other.

She’d thought John might decide to stay in the Amish community when he’d moved back with his bruder Sam, but after Sam married her schweschder Mary Elizabeth, and they bought their own farm, that hope was dashed. John had refused their offer to stay with them and moved back to town, and now Rose Anna felt she was back to square one. An Amish maedel didn’t visit a single man’s home without a chaperone, so the only way she could see him was if he visited their mutual relatives.

And she knew with the way he didn’t get along with his dat that visits to Lavina and David’s haus would be infrequent.

Carrie smiled at them as she bagged a purchase for a customer, handed it to her, and told her to come again.

“How nice to see you two,” she said, coming out from behind the counter. “New stock! Can’t wait to see what you have for us.”

The three of them pulled crafts from the boxes, and Carrie got excited about the Christmas tree ornaments made from yo-yo circles. Carrie set aside the pricing guide that was included in the box and said she’d be putting things out that afternoon.

“So did you hear? I’m working full-time here,” Carrie told them, bubbling with excitement. “Who’d have thought things would turn around this much since I had to live at the shelter?”

“You’re one of their success stories,” Kate told her.

“Thanks to you and Pearl. Listen, I’ll go tell Leah you’re here.”

“Don’t bother,” Kate said quickly. “I haven’t been in for two weeks, so I want to look at the new fabric.”

As they walked through the entranceway that connected the shop to Stitches in Time, Rose Anna heard Kate sniff. She glanced at her. “Are you okay?”

“Fine. It’s just allergies.”

But Rose Anna watched her surreptitiously wipe away a tear.

“It makes you feel good, doesn’t it?”

She nodded, took a deep breath as they walked down aisles of fabric bolts. “Makes up for all the times you don’t make a difference.”

It must be like being a mudder, Rose Anna thought as she stopped at a table to look at a particularly pretty blue fabric. She remembered how her schweschder Mary Elizabeth had bought yards of a similar color and silky texture for her wedding dress and kept it in her closet for a long time when Sam had left her not long before she’d expected to get married. Rose Anna and their mudder had been so happy to help her sew it when Mary Elizabeth and Sam had finally gotten married.

She stroked the fabric and thought about buying it for a wedding dress. As it got closer to harvest, other Amish maedels would be buying fabric for their weddings and it would get scarce. Many favored blue for their wedding day.

“That would be pretty on you. Are you going to make yourself a new dress?”

Rose Anna glanced up and felt herself blushing as Leah came to stand next to her. “Oh, hi.”

She glanced down at the fabric. Maybe it was early to buy it for a wedding dress, but suddenly she wanted it. She and John would be married. She was convinced of it.

“Why not?”

Leah picked up the bolt and carried it over to the cutting table. Rose Anna gave her the order for the number of yards she’d need and watched her begin cutting the dress length.

She’d take it home and tuck it away on the top shelf of her closet for her wedding day.

Kate brought two bolts over for Leah to cut. “I’m going to have to find a way to sneak this into the house,” she told Rose Anna as Leah unfolded the fabric on the table and cut it. “Malcolm bet me I can’t go without buying fabric for a month, and there’s still another week to go. I’m hoping he’s not home yet.”

So both of them would be keeping secrets, she thought. There was no way she could show the fabric she’d bought—or at least she wouldn’t want to say she bought it for her wedding. She didn’t care to have her schweschders make comments about that.

“Well, that was a nice end to the morning,” Kate said as they walked out to the car. She put her package in the trunk before she got into the driver’s seat. “Do you have time for lunch? It’ll be my treat.”

“I’d love to have lunch, but there’s no need to treat me. When Leah rang up my fabric, she gave me more orders for quilts. I’d say I—well, my mudder and schweschders—had a very nice ending to the morning.”

“I insist. I’m in such a good mood. I was so happy to see Brooke in the class even for a short time. It’s progress.”

Rose Anna nodded, and as they left town she found herself wondering when she would see progress on her own goal.

It was time to take the next step.