Читать книгу The Woman's Book of Resilience - Beth Miller - Страница 5

foreword

iN MY YEARS OF EXPERIENCE as a psychotherapist and Jungian psychoanalyst, I have listened to untold numbers of people speak of sexual and emotional abuse, devastating loss, physical trauma, and life-threatening illness. I have often wondered why, given similar circumstances, some people are laid waste by these events while others find ways to survive them and even thrive as a result. And, there are many in between who suffer but still carry on reasonably satisfactory lives. Is there something special that some people are born with and others not? Or is it that mysterious quality like a tender plant that needs to be nourished and strengthened in order to reach its inborn potential?

Psychotherapist Dr. Beth Miller defines resilience as the quality that enables people to bounce back when life knocks them off balance. Resilience is for the soul like a good mattress for the body; it gives support and helps to resist a tendency to slide down into depression.

We were born resilient. The very act of getting born entails working our way out of a space that has become too tight, fighting our way to freedom down a dark narrow passage, accepting help when we need it, and sometimes, when it is too tough, to allow someone to intervene with a knife because that is the only way. And then we face light and gasp for air for the first time without knowing what either light or air is. Something powerful in us wants to live, and so we come howling into the world.

It has been theorized that the way we traverse the birth canal affects our start on our lifelong path. We can't be sure of how much that influences our future course; we can only be sure that we are here, and that we are on our way. Some people strongly believe that they can succeed, that they can overcome every obstacle. Some think that life is filled with impossible tasks. Both are right. Attitude is a major factor in determining how we deal with the obstacles on the road. But what about the vast majority of people in between? What of people who think they might be able to succeed but have some doubts, and people who would like to change their ways but lack the courage?

Beth Miller has not been afraid to put her head in the lion's mouth. At midlife she left a comfortable marriage to return to graduate school, earned a doctorate in psychology, worked with groups of male sex offenders in a treatment center, taught psychology at the California Institute of Integral Studies, and established a private practice in individual and group psychotherapy in San Francisco. Over the past ten years, she developed and tested a program for developing resilience in women. This book contains a distillation of her program. It will appeal to those who believe that their lives can be more fulfilling and that they can deal better with problems and relationships than they now do. Dr. Miller describes a series of qualities that lead from embracing your vulnerabilities through analyzing your problems, getting your needs met, setting limits, giving up resentments, using humor, and practicing forgiveness to improving your ability to communicate. She provides exercises to help you practice the steps in everyday life. The book is a valuable personal guide; it can be used with a friend or partner, and it can serve as a model for support groups.

June Singer, Ph.D.