Читать книгу Josh Billings, Hiz Sayings - Billings Josh - Страница 2

I kum to the conclusion, lately, that life waz so onsartin, that the only wa for me tu stand a fair chance with other folks, was to git my life insured, and so i kalled on the Agent of the "Garden Angel life insurance Co.," and answered the following questions, which waz put tu me over the top ov a pair of goold specks, by a slik little fat old feller, with a little round gray head, and az pretty a little belly on him az enny man ever owned: —

QUESTIONS

1st – Are yu mail or femail? if so, Pleze state how long you have been so.

2d – Are yu subjec tu fits, and if so, do yu hav more than one at a time?

3d – What is yure precise fiteing weight?

4th – Did yu ever have enny ancestors, and if so, how much?

5th – What iz yure legal opinion ov the constitutionality ov the 10 commandments!

6th – Du yu ever hav enny nite mares?

7th – Are you married and single, or are yu a Bachelor?

8th – Do yu beleave in a futer state? if yu du, state it.

9th – What are yure private sentiments about a rush ov rats tu the head; can it be did successfully?

10th – Hav yu ever committed suiside, and if so, how did it seem to affect yu?

After answering the above questions, like a man in the confirmatif, the slik little fat old fellow with goold specks on, ced I was insured for life, and proberly would remain so for a term ov years. I thanked him, and smiled one ov my moste pensive smiles.