Читать книгу The Gay Husband Checklist for Women Who Wonder - Bonnie Kaye - Страница 7

INTRODUCTION

A woman enters into a marriage with the hopes, dreams, and plans of a happy and fulfilling life with the man with whom she intends to build a life and family. The central theme surrounding these aspirations is the one of honesty. When the man goes into the marriage with the same goals, but leaves out the honesty piece, the marriage is doomed for both parties and their future children.

Over four million women in this country and millions more throughout the world, unknowingly marry homosexual men only to learn at some point why their marriages are so difficult and problematic. In most cases, these men were aware of their homosexuality before the marriage but were hoping for a “miracle” that would change them. Marriage would be the answer to those ever-present gnawing attractions to men that would mysteriously vanish by wishful thinking. Living the “straight life” could change their impulses towards men because their wives would fulfill their sexual needs.

There’s no treachery intended here. Let’s be logical. We are living in a society that will never accept homosexuality as “normal.” Gay people are openly discriminated against and persecuted. They are looked at as being deviant, distorted, and perverted. Families, friends, and associates often cut them off once the truth is known. Isn’t it worth taking the chance to change this if marriage might be the answer?

In these enlightened times, we still find an abundance of ignorance towards homosexuality. Gay people are still killed and brutalized by homophobic mobs. The majority of the straight community still believes that “gay” is a choice that someone makes. But why would anyone consciously choose a lifestyle that is scorned by so many?

For approximately 25% of gay men, heterosexual sex is possible, even though it is not preferable. These men have the most difficult time coming to terms with their homosexuality because they can “perform” with a woman. They want the chance to live the American dream, but instead, in time, it becomes a nightmare. Two of the most difficult situations come into play— living a lie on a daily basis, and forcing yourself to be what you are not and cannot be—namely, straight.

The women, who are slapped with the truth at the time when it becomes convenient for their husbands to reveal this information, feel trapped in their own personal “twilight zone.” After they learn about their husbands’ homosexuality, numerous questions arise with limited resources for finding the answers that make sense.

This book has been written to help straight women and gay men understand the dynamics of their marriages by answering the difficult questions that are so confusing. These are answers based on twenty-five years of counseling tens of thousands of women across this country and other parts of the world who have been in these relationships.

Unfortunately, there is no quick fix to alleviate the pain that each woman suffers, but this book will give insight into how and why this happens. Hopefully, you will find the answers you are looking for that will allow you to move towards a happier future.