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At the Airport

The first thing you’re going to notice when you arrive at a big Chinese airport is the military efficiency of everything.

The airport personnel are polite, quiet, very efficient, and I’m pretty sure they’re being paid to smile. And one of these smiling and perfectly turned out airport officers will politely direct you through the immaculate terminal building, like she’s the zookeeper, and you’re the penguins.

The unfriendly officials sitting in their cubicles waving you forward one-by-one are the immigration officers, (even if these officers were paid to smile, I’m not sure if they’re capable of such human expression). Get your documents in order before you line up here, because these automatons are super-efficient, miss NOTHING, and they’re very intolerant of disorganized travelers. An imprecise document, an incorrect or near-expired visa, or if you look a little different to your passport photo (different glasses, different hair color, or maybe you’ve grown or shaved your beard), all these little things are noticed and receive the same intense scrutiny as a short curly hair in their won ton soup.

The immigration officials take their duties very seriously, so:

•Stand upright, facing them like a robot (it’s what they understand)

•Present your correct documentation (it’s the only thing they want from you)

•Don’t try to make eye contact (they don’t like it)

•Don’t speak (even if you speak perfect Mandarin, they won’t be listening)

•Don’t lean on their booth (you’re not in a pub, and you will make them grumpy)

•And just don’t try to be friendly (how can you be friendly with a robot?)

By the time you’ve got through immigration your luggage should be getting dizzy on the luggage belt. But before you make a quick exit into the sea of oriental faces waiting the other side of customs control, think: do you need to use the restrooms?

The airport restrooms may not be the best you’ve ever used, but believe me, they get much worse and you should take advantage of these facilities before you begin any onward journey. I’m warning you: do it now, or prepare to regret it.

Foreign Exchange

Now, get some Chinese currency.

You can usually do a currency exchange at your hotel, (if it’s a big one), but you’ve gotta get there first. So if you didn’t manage to buy some Chinese Yuan (CNY) before you travelled, you need to get some before you leave the airport. You need to find a foreign exchange office or a cash machine (ATM) in the airport and withdraw a pocketful. Sure, USDollars are recognized, but let’s face it, you’re going to get ripped off if you try using them; just pull out your plastic and get a bunch of CNY.

If one Chinese ATM doesn’t work for you, try another because some Chinese banks can be selective with which foreign credit and debit cards they decide to recognize.

A word about Chinese ATMs: they’re mostly in Mandarin text. The ones at the airport should have English and Mandarin options, but outside of the big cities don’t expect this language option. Often you can get a pretty assistant to help you if the ATM is within a bank, or what I do is just remember which line of Chinese squiggles is the one I need to select, (however your card may have been swallowed by the time you work this out for yourself).

Did you tell your bank and credit card provider that you’re going to China?

*I’ve had some of my credit cards blocked because my thoughtful card provider assumed that my wallet had been stolen. I could have been completely stuck, penniless and destitute because of the incorrect assumption of some self-righteous little pen-pusher in creditcard-land. I’m sure he meant well, but it buggered up a whole day for me.

If you’re relying on Travelers Checks, unless you’re staying at a fancy hotel that can exchange these for you, you’re going to have to visit a bank. Prepare yourself for a lot of queuing, a lot of paperwork, (and I can think of better ways to spend my afternoons).