Читать книгу Narrative of the Life and Travels of Serjeant B– - Butler Robert - Страница 2

I was born of poor but respectable parents, in the town of Peebles, county of Tweeddale, upon the 3d day of April, 1784. Under their nursing care I remained until I was four years of age, when I was sent to my grandfather in Darnick, from whom I received any little education I ever got. Being then too young for school, my grandmother was very attentive in giving me instruction as I was able to bear it; and before I was five years of age, when I was sent to school, I could repeat various psalms, hymns, and passages of Scripture. She employed herself frequently in spinning on the lint wheel, at which time I used to sit at her side, learning verses which she would rehearse to me. I was placed here somewhat like Timothy with his grandmother Lois; for from what I myself recollect, and especially from the testimony of some pious Christians yet living, she was a very eminent character. She laboured much to give me a high veneration for the Supreme Being, in so much that, when I could read a little, I was struck with a kind of reverential dread at the words Lord or God, when I saw them in the Bible; but I could form no kind of notion what this Great Being could be. As I grew older, my wonder was so far gratified by my worthy instructor telling me that God was a spirit, and invisible, and that I could not speak, act, or even think, but he was acquainted with it all; and that he saw me at all times and in all places: but this I thought could hardly be true, as I imagined God could certainly not see me in the dark.

My grandfather being a very healthy and pious man, no weather would prevent him attending the church at Melrose, which was about a mile distant; but my grandmother being older, and not so robust in her constitution, was often detained at home in stormy weather, or during the winter season; but, though absent in body from the ordinances, she was present in spirit; and it is to be desired that all Christians would improve their time when necessarily detained at home from church as she did; for it was her custom to make family worship, I only being present, during the time of divine service; and it was the greatest possible wonder to me what pleasure she could have in it when my grandfather was absent, and I could take no active part in it, except making an attempt to follow the psalm as she was singing it. It was certainly however a great pleasure to her, though a real weariness to me; but although I could not then see what advantage I could receive from her praying to God to make me an object of his special care, she saw it; and I trust I have reaped much benefit from her prayers. Nor did she lose all the minister's labours, for there were two or three pious neighbours who used to meet upon the Sabbath evening, and talk over the substance of what they had heard, their "speech being with grace, seasoned with salt." My grandfather being a man of superior mental endowments, and having an excellent memory, I was quite astonished how they, and especially he, could remember so much, when, with all my attention, I could scarcely bring home one sentence of what had been preached. I was, however, very careful to learn my task, which was a psalm, or a part of one, and a few questions out of the Assembly's Shorter Catechism; and when I got through that book, I used to answer the whole questions on two Sabbath evenings, to keep them on my memory. In short, I remained under this friendly roof, having the great benefit of precept and example, attending school regularly, until I was eight years of age.

I was then, I may say, sent upon the wide world, in which I have ever since been a wanderer; for, when I came to Edinburgh, where my father and mother then lived, I went to a Mr. – , in the capacity of a tobacco spinner's boy, where I had of course to mix with many of those I would have chosen to avoid; but, being attentive to my work, my master soon began to take notice of me, and was wont to give me a penny more upon Saturday night than the rest, but this without their knowledge; and his kindness made me if any thing more diligent. I found myself more comfortable here than at first I expected, and I continued in this way until I was ten years of age, when I was hired to a Mrs. C. to wait at the table, run messages, &c. for which I received my meat, clothes, and one pound ten shillings in the half-year.

I was remarkably well situated in her service, partly through a very trifling circumstance, which was this: When out one day airing, she dropped her gold watch and some money, and I found them and gave them to her in a very cheerful manner, being happy to have it in my power to relieve her uneasy mind; and she took a liking to me, as she said, for my apparent honesty and attention. The first strong proof I had of her attachment was as follows: The housekeeper desired me to bring her a bottle of small beer, and it being somehow not to her mind, she abused me so as to make me cry plentifully; and before I could get myself properly composed, the bell rang, and I was obliged to go up stairs, and, notwithstanding my care not to be discovered, my mistress perceived me in rather a confused state of mind, and asked me the reason in a very kind manner. I was afraid to tell a lie, and her kind treatment emboldened me to acknowledge the truth. After due inquiry, finding the housekeeper in the wrong, and me in the right, she ordered her to get ready to leave the house, but with wages and board wages till the term. Her regard to me still increased, and I did all in my power to please her. In a few weeks after, she sent for my mother, and told her she intended to make a man of me, if we both lived, meaning to give me an education for a genteel business, and to put me in a way to do for myself. My parents were highly gratified with these proposals. But, alas! how uncertain are all human plans and prospects; "For who saith, and it cometh to pass, when the Lord commandeth it not?" The great leveller, who pours contempt upon princes, laid my kind benefactor, "with the hopes of the father that begat me, and of the mother who bare me, low in the dust;" and shall I say, in bitterness of soul, as Jacob did in another case, "that all these things are against me?" Very far be this expression from me; but I have no cause to doubt that, if Mrs. C. had thought herself so near leaving our world, she would have made some provision for me; for the day on which she died, perceiving the approach of the last enemy, she ordered the servant girl who was in the room to ring the bell for me; but her sister-in-law, understanding this, came out of the bed-room, and prevented me entering, saying, I was not wanted, and, as the girl afterwards told me, said to Mrs. C that I was not in the house. Mrs. C.'s brother-in-law got nearly all her money, houses, and moveables, and only gave me sixpence when I carried his portmanteau to the coach on his leaving Edinburgh. But I was not the only one that sustained a loss by her death; for many poor creatures, who had been her weekly pensioners, mourned their respective losses also. It was really mournful to see these, and her trades-people, and others who had been benefited by her, on the day she was interred, many of them with drooping heads and watery eyes, taking a view of the last remains of their charitable friend; and they had just cause, for even the woman who was her principal weekly pensioner, and had been her nurse, was struck off the list.

My time not being out, I served it out with Mrs. C.'s sister-in-law, and was then engaged with a Mr. B – , who had formerly been in better circumstances, but through some affliction had now lost his sight. My chief business was to go out with him when he wanted an airing; but in this family I experienced a great contrast from that of my valuable friend formerly mentioned, for in truth I was almost starved for want of victuals. It would not become me to tell about the shifts practised in the family, but I remember well being so pinched in my allowance, that I stood eagerly waiting for the potato pot coming off, that I might get the skins to eat, which I would devour with greediness. The servant girl fared no better than myself, and was unable to afford me any relief as she could not even give me a potato, they being all counted out to her. How much better would it have been for Mr. B – 's two daughters to have done the work of the house themselves, and saved the meat and wages of a servant maid, instead of appearing in public like ladies, when their circumstances were so indifferent! But they had seen better days; "they could not work, and to beg they were ashamed." So true is Solomon's remark, at present as well as in his own day, "There is that maketh himself rich, yet hath nothing."

About this time my worthy grandmother died, (of whom I cannot think without heartfelt emotion,) committing her soul "to Him in whom she believed;" and, as she was exemplary in her life, she was no less so in her death. Although I had not the satisfaction of seeing her on her death-bed, I have since learned some very comfortable particulars. Nothing else worth mentioning happened while I was in this family, but one circumstance; which was this: I happened to get a few halfpence given me, with which I purchased an old fife, and this cheering companion beguiled many a hungry hour, for I was remarkably fond of music. This was not the first time I showed my attachment to music; for when I lived at Darnick with my grandfather, there was a weaver in the town, who was famous, far and near, as a whistler, and he used to gratify my musical desire by whistling a tune to me, till I had got it nearly correct, and then gave me another, and so on; but I was then little aware what this was to lead to, for I afterwards got enough of music, as you shall see in the sequel of this book; but it may be seen from this early propensity in me, that "even a child may be known by his doings."

After leaving this family, I went to a Mr. F. where also was a cousin of my own, who paid me great attention: but I looked upon her rather as an enemy than a friend; for I fell in with some bad companions, with whom I got a habit of staying and amusing myself, when I was sent a message, and in order to screen myself I was obliged to have recourse to falsehoods. – My cousin frequently expostulated with me, but all to no effect; at last my master, discovering my negligent and disobedient conduct, gave me a good drubbing, and this was a mean of bringing me to my senses; so I was compelled to give up all fellowship with my pitch-and-toss gentry, and I became afterwards more attentive. Nothing worth mentioning happened to me while I remained here, but the death of my grandfather, of an iliac passion, who, as I was named after him, distinguished me from the rest by leaving me his Bible as a legacy, wishing the blessing of God to accompany it.

I was now fourteen years of age, and went to learn the trade of a weaver in Darnick; and when you know that the great dearth of 1799, 1800, came on, and that I could only earn about fourteen pence a day, half of which went to my master, you will see that I had much occasion for the practice of that abstinence which I had been forced to learn at the B – School. It would be tedious and trifling to tell how I managed to make up my breakfast, dinner, and supper; I have been for months together, indeed, that I never could say my hunger was once satisfied, even though I had recourse to rather dishonest means to help me, for I went out at night, and would pull a turnip or two in the fields, when I thought "no eye could see me." But it is worthy of remark, that as far as I can judge, I never knew so much of what contentment was in all my life; I thought hardly any body so well off as myself, for I got into such a rigid system of living, that, through long habit, it became quite natural to me, though I must say that I was often so weak, as hardly to be able to get off and on my loom.

Notwithstanding my very straitened circumstances, I found ways and means, upon the winter Sabbath evenings, to spare a halfpenny for a candle, that I might be able to read Mr. Boston's Fourfold State, to which I had taken a great liking. I delighted particularly to read and meditate on the Fourth State, where the happiness of saints in a future world is described; and the expression, "they shall hunger no more," had in it an emphasis (though I fear somewhat of a carnal kind) that put more joy into my heart than worldly men can have when their corn and wine are increased.

During the time I was thus exposed to many hardships, there is one thing I must not omit, which is as follows: – I was rather worse off, both for money and provisions, than I had been for a long time. – No meal was to be had in Darnick, and I went to Melrose on Monday morning for a supply; but the scarcity was so great that I could find none. On Tuesday, after working all the morning, I again went to Melrose, though I was scarcely able to reach it, through weakness, and succeeded in getting a quarter stone at one shilling and fourpence; and all the money I had in the world, after paying this, was twopence. When I was on my way home, walking along the Tweed, I took many a wishful look at my scanty store of meal in the corner of my bag; and taking the twopence out of my pocket, I said to myself, "This is all the money and meal I have to support me till I get my web finished, and the price returned from Edinburgh;" but, to my utter astonishment, I pulled out a shilling along with it. The joy of seeing the shilling, and the unaccountable way of its coming there, filled me alternately with pleasure and pain, but, after recovering from my ecstasy a little, it occurred to my mind, that I must have got it from the miller, through some oversight, in returning me my last twopence in the change for the meal. I resolved, therefore, to go back and return the man his shilling, hungry and weary as I was: but a sinful thought struck me that this might be the hand of Divine Providence, in giving me that mite out of the miller's abundance, to supply my present wants; but I stood and argued with myself long before I could persuade myself to go home and make my supper, of which I stood in much need. In so doing, I acted wrong, and still more so in afterwards thinking that Providence had given a blessing with that shilling, merely because I have never wanted one since – my hardships, I may say, being henceforth at a close.

Shortly after this, the Earlston Volunteers wanted an additional fifer; and as I was still labouring to improve myself, from the time I got the old fife, formerly mentioned, my name reached the ears of the commanding officer, who sent for me, and, with permission of my master, I went every Wednesday afternoon to Earlston, which was about five miles distant, and received each time, one shilling and sixpence for my trouble. My long habit of living meanly, and this addition weekly, made me, as I thought, quite a gentleman, and I saw none that I would have changed conditions with, every thing considered.

After I left Darnick, I went to a Mr. W – , near Dalkeith, and wrought journeyman with him for one summer, during which time, I attended church at Dalkeith; and I well recollect, that on my way home, having a mile or two of a retired road to go, my mind would frequently be so full of the minister's sermon, and such like topics, that I used to take off my hat and walk bareheaded, as I thought the seriousness of the subject called for that mark of respect, especially as my meditations were mixed with ejaculatory prayer.

I left Mr. W – after the bleaching work was over for the summer, and went in search of work to Peebles, which, being the place of my nativity, I had a great desire to see. This was, I think, in the year 1802. On my arrival at Peebles I was very fortunate, or rather the Lord made my way prosperous, for I got a good master and comfortable lodgings the very first day. My master was serjeant-major of the volunteers, and being much pleased with my fife playing, he persuaded me to join that corps as a fifer. But soon after the Army of Reserve was raised, and I was obliged, either to pay money into societies, to insure me against it, or run the risk of going for nothing, neither of which I liked. The bounties given to substitutes were very good, and, my excessive regard for music still increasing, I resolved on taking the bounty; but then what excuse to give to my parents I did not well know, for I thought it would vex them much, as I had a brother already in the artillery: so I resolved to say that it was the expense necessary for insuring me, that forced me to go into the army; but in truth it was neither that, nor yet the temptation of the large bounty that made me enlist, but the prospect of being a fifer in the army, where I could get proper instructions in my favourite music. Having made up my mind to this, I offered myself as a substitute for a Mr. G. and received as bounty two and twenty pounds. The report that I had enlisted in the Army of Reserve quickly went over the town, though few believed it, as I was always so attentive to my work, and I had just finished forty-five yards of linen for shirts to myself; but although the news seemed strange to many, it was no more strange than true. So I gave all my best clothes and the web, except as much as made me three shirts, to my mother; and as I did not go to the army from necessity, but choice, I left the whole of my bounty in the hands of a respectable man in Peebles. Along with other recruits, I was marched to Edinburgh, and from thence to Linlithgow, at which place inquiry was made if there was any lad in our party who could play the fife; and the fife-major hearing of me, he asked if I was willing to play on that instrument? I said I had no objection, (for it was indeed the very thing I wanted, as you will easily believe,) provided I was exempted from that disagreeable part of their duty, viz. flogging the men; so he went to the commanding officer, and got that matter settled to my satisfaction. Shortly after this we received a route for Ireland, and marched on the 5th December. We had snow, rain, or hail every day of our march, which was a fortnight; but this did not discourage me, for such hardships I had expected, and laid my account with in my new way of life.