Читать книгу Rachel's Hope - Carole Page Gift - Страница 14

“That’s about it,” David said with a note of finality. “That’s how things stand between Rachel and me right now. Not too pretty, huh? I guess I’ve made a real mess of things.”

Kit sat beside him in his sleek sports car, her fingers playing with the strap of her black leather purse. She was wearing a lime green crocheted sweater and stylish denim jeans. He watched her and felt the knot of guilt and frustration in his gut relax a bit. No matter how awful he felt, Kit had a way of picking up his spirits. She had a smooth, polished attractiveness, a certain subtle aura of worldliness about her, although she was only twenty-five. Kit was smaller and blonder than Rachel and wore more makeup—always a glossy, magazine sort of look to her face—but if David thought about it at all, he realized that Kit was probably no prettier than Rachel, who somehow managed to appear both natural and elegant without all the makeup.

David looked more closely at Kit Her expression was clouded. He couldn’t read it. What was she thinking now that she knew the whole story?

“I’m sorry, David,” she said at last. “I’m really sorry.”

He had driven her up to Signal Hill to talk. It was one of the few places in Long Beach where there was still a semblance of privacy. The hill was a jutting protuberance of land laced with narrow, weaving roads, its landscape blemished by oil pumps and drilling rigs. The hill was considered by some to be a lovers’ lane, and no doubt police cars patrolled the area periodically to encourage reluctant drivers on the road again.

David wasn’t bothered by the hill’s reputation, because here he could look out and see the dazzling lights of the Los Angeles basin spread out before him. For David, there was no real darkness in this place where all cities joined together to create one huge metropolis. In this place, this city of cities, there were only sweeping galaxies of lights, like an ocean of stars.

“I didn’t tell you all of this for you to be sorry, Kit,” he said, swinging his thoughts back to their conversation. “Listen, Kit,” he said gently, “I’m not trying to cry on your shoulder. I just want to be straight with you. Let you know how things are with me.”

“I understand, David, really I do.”

He chuckled. “Really? Then you’re doing better than I am.”

Kit’s voice was soft, tentative. “David, just one thing. I wonder…”

“Yeah?”

“Well, Rachel and the baby and all this—how does it…how is it going to affect us?”

“What do you mean?”

“I guess I mean, where do we go from here?”

“I honestly don’t know,” he said, shaking his head. “I never thought Rachel would give me my walking papers, just like that,” he admitted, aware of the pained tone his voice could not hide. “Then again, I never thought I’d blurt out my feelings for you like I did. I just don’t know what’s going to happen now.”

“We never planned for this to happen between us, David. It just did.”

David stared out the window, the tendon along his jaw tightening. “I know, Kit. But the truth is, I really don’t know what I should do. When I think about throwing my marriage away, I feel sick inside. I care about Rachel. Even when we lost that close feeling we once had, I never stopped caring. But it looks like Rachel’s taken any decision about our marriage out of my hands. Now that she knows I have feelings for you, even though its only been really a friendship so far, she doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“Then maybe you just have to accept that, David.”

He looked back at Kit, his brow furrowed. “No matter what, I can’t just walk away from her, Kit. Especially now, with a baby coming. I just can’t get the idea of the baby out of my mind.”

“You sound almost…happy about the baby.”

“Happy? I suppose I am. I was shocked at first. Rachel and I never considered having another child. I’ve been so busy with work, and she’s always leading a drama group at her church or taking classes for some degree she hopes to get someday. But it’s my baby, as much a part of me as it is of her. It’s just like when Brian was coming; I love the little tyke already, sight unseen. I don’t want to be a part-time father to my child. Nor to Brian. He’s a teenager. He needs me now, too.”