Читать книгу Getting My Bounce Back - Carolee Belkin Walker - Страница 6

Foreword

Within the philosophy of action theory, there are two prerequisites that can lead to action: desire and belief. If we are hungry and desire to be full, and we believe a sandwich will satisfy that desire, we will eat the sandwich. But are these truly the prerequisites to committed action? What about the case for daily exercise: we desire to be at a certain level of physical fitness, and we believe that daily exercise will lead us to that level of physical fitness. According to action theory, we should all exercise daily. So why is it that so many people do not act, day after day? Why is it sometimes easy to exercise and sometimes not? What makes us commit? There must be more. Something bigger than us. Something that can lead to committed action.

Yes, there is. And it is different for everyone.

It is true that we can commit to exercising before work, or join a fitness club with a goal of going to classes daily, or set our sights on a running goal. We might even achieve those goals, to some extent, and for some amount of time. More than likely, however, once the goal is met, or once we grow bored of trying, we will stop doing what we are doing and go back to simply desiring a more fit life that we believe can be achieved through fitness goals, but with the bizarre inability to propel ourselves into action. The key word being: ourselves.

When asked what really lights you up, you probably do not answer: “Myself.” Humans, in general, come equipped with a certain set of values. These are values that they have collected over time and grown into, often passed down to them from their foremothers and forefathers. It is building a house of commitment upon the concrete foundation of one’s values that creates the ability to take action: chronic action, habitual action, life-changing action, committed action. If we build the house of commitment upon a foundation of “should” or “need” or “ourselves,” we might as well have built it upon a pile of sand. We will inevitably tire of ourselves or break the rules we’ve made for ourselves. A house built on sand will crumble the moment action comes blowing in the wind. Brick by brick, stone by stone, we will be left with nothing but a pile of our own unsatisfied desires, charred by the subtle fire of what we once believed to be the solution, no longer willing or able to act on those beliefs for fear of being burned again.

Burned by ourselves.

This is bigger than ourselves.

Start by figuring out what in this life is most important to you. Maybe it is family, nature, or loyalty. Maybe it is being creative, fun-loving, adventure-seeking, or community-driven. Perhaps it is humor, spirituality, or being a helper or a teacher. Whatever it is, this is where you must lay the foundation for your house of committed action. This is where your non-negotiable fitness habit becomes part of your blueprint, ingrained in your DNA, nestled in your soul.

The way you approach exercise is a choice. You can either begin your fitness routine thinking, “I have to do this,” or, as I prefer, “I get to do this.” When you get to work out, run, hike, swim, or whatever gets your heart pounding and body moving, you come from a place of gratitude and purpose. When you have to work out, you come from a place of fear, grasping, and obligation. Not that obligation is always a terrible thing, but it is important to remain clear about what it is that we are obligated to. Being obligated to feed and clothe your child is very different from feeling obligated to run for two hours every day, or to go to barre or spinning every day for a month, or even to hit a goal in a race if you are not really feeling it. Feeding and clothing your child is a real obligation, something you must do to live in alignment with your values. If you have children, you probably hold family as a very high value and work for your family’s safety and welfare. Therefore, you will be committed to act: feeding your child is a committed action because it is driven by a value.

But why keep going on long runs or taking barre, if every time you tie your shoes or put on your sticky socks you think about how much you would rather be doing anything else? This is the problem with having to work out because of a goal or an obligation that you imposed on yourself, or that society imposed upon you. At the other side of that goal, there will be more goals, and more goals after that. There are no values driving you to act. You will probably not feel satisfied or remain committed after your goals have been met or when you tire of trying.

Sometimes goals are fine, but other times they detract from what would help you form a habit of fitness. The joy you feel when you live in alignment with your values is what will help you form a habit of fitness. We want to feel joy. If you find yourself having to work out, that is when it is time to become purpose-driven. Goals can also be purpose-driven if kept in perspective. Run that marathon, go for it! If you start to feel less and less excited about it, or if injuries pile up during your training, be willing to abandon ship. Because after all, what is the purpose of pursuing the goal?

Is the purpose increasing health so that you can continue to live aligned with your values?

When we are healthy, we live longer, and we can keep sharing our gifts. Your talents are your gifts, and the world needs you to share them—it really does! So perhaps being healthy allows you to live longer so that you can keep being an advocate for change in healthcare policy or education, because those things are aligned with your values. Now you can go into your fitness routine with the idea of I get to do this instead of I have to do this.

Fitness, like everything you encounter on your journey, can do one of two things: it can either support your life or your death. Yes, your death. Because the latter is the more off-putting statement, let us begin there. When you move from a place of obligation, from having to work out, the fitness routine will create stress in your life instead of much-needed stress relief. Having to work out can also sacrifice the actual needs of the body on the altar of the mind, leading to injury or burnout or worse: losing trust in your own innate knowing of what you need every day in an exercise or movement routine.

Here is an example: you are training for a marathon, and on Tuesday you have a nine-mile run planned, but you wake up with a creaky knee, having not slept because you had terrible dreams. Forcing action from a place of having to work out sends a message to the body that it is not safe with you, and eventually you will mute your body’s signals more and more until its needs are a distant annoyance you cannot even make out anymore.

This does not mean there are not times where we need to push through resistance and build resilience, of course, for that is one of the greatest pearls daily exercise offers us. Resilience in the body will inevitably build resilience in the mind. What it does mean is that if we do not listen to our physiological needs and instead only focus on what our monkey mind is encouraging us to do, we can eventually lose control of the whole circus and forget how to hear what our bodies are telling us.

Before you go for your next workout, ask yourself two questions: “How do I feel today?” and “What do I need?” And finally, just as a litmus test, ask this bonus question: “Who is answering?” Maybe it is you answering, maybe it is your mother, maybe it is your friend or trainer, maybe it is a magazine you read at the grocery store. Be aware and only answer the calls of your self—after all, who knows you better than you? When we start to listen, we can start to come back to a place of gratitude, self-care, trust, and purpose-driven movement. When we do this, when we move with intention and inspiration tied together in a nice little bow and dusted with gratitude, exercise and fitness support our life. It makes us strong physically, emotionally, and psychologically. It keeps our heart pumping. It promises that we will be able to keep at our life’s work longer than if we did not move, and that we will someday take our children’s children’s children swimming in the ocean when we are ninety-eight. It is a joyful experience and we get to do it. How lucky are we to be able to support our lives like this?

Carolee Walker says it perfectly: exercise is not an option. That is the truth. It is not an option. We all need to move our body. And to develop this non-negotiable, habitual state of action, we must keep coming back to our purpose, our source, that impalpable thing much bigger than any of us, that needs the magic and brilliance stored inside of all of us. We must return to the idea of action theory that we started with. We desire to be fit and healthy (who doesn’t?), we believe that having a fitness routine will lead us to this fulfilled desire, so we are propelled into action, committed to getting our result—and to make this a lasting pattern, to propel ourselves into committed action, we stoke the fire with purpose.

You get to exercise, you do not have to. You get to. Let it be joyful. Do the things you love to do and leave behind the things that you do not. Run only downhill, dance in your living room with your dogs until you are sweaty, and listen to your favorite music while you hike. Commune with the experience of listening to yourself, harvesting awareness around how you feel and what you need, and begin to trust yourself on the deepest level of connectedness.

You get to exercise, you get to experience this life, you get to be resilient, and you have a purpose-driven life that needs you to keep on living it in a healthy, happy body.

And as Carolee would say, “You got this.”

Sarajean Rudman

Glastonbury, Connecticut