Читать книгу California Moon - Catherine Lanigan - Страница 14

Shannon Riley had saved John Doe’s life—twice. But no one in the hospital thought anything of it. Such heroics were commonplace. That was their job—saving lives.

Only Ben thought she was exceptional. However, when he’d tried to make a point of it, standing with her in the hall outside John’s room, Shannon blew him off like winter wind.

“I was just doing my job,” she said meekly, hoping to avoid conversation with him. “Just like you.”

“Is it that you don’t like me in particular, or is it all cops?” he asked, holding out a cup of coffee.

Shannon avoided catching his eye and quickly tried to change the subject. “What’s this?” She looked at the coffee askance.

“It’s safe. Not the hospital rotgut stuff. I got it from the café across the street.”

“What for?”

“It’s a gift. You’ve heard of those?” he quipped with a smile.

“But why?”

“I’m trying to get to know you better.”

“That part I understand. You shouldn’t spend your money on me.”

“Why not?”

She looked down. “Ben, I’m sure you’re a nice man, but…”

Frowning, he said, “You don’t like me. You can say it.”

Sheepishly she looked up at him. A faint smile broke across her face. “I…like you.”

“Ah, hope,” he replied with mock theatrics. “This is getting cold, Shannon,” he said, holding the coffee out again.

Taking it from him, she said, “I really do hate hospital coffee.” She sipped it. “And this is so good.” She smiled broadly.

He beamed. “More hope.”

“To answer your question, it’s not you in particular I’m avoiding. It’s just that I’m private, that’s all.”

He took a step closer. “Why is that? You have something to hide?” he joked.

“No,” she replied nonchalantly.

“I know there isn’t a husband in the picture,” he said with a shrug.

“How?” she asked, surprised.

“I asked.”

“Oh,” she said with obvious tension. “What else did you ask?”

“If there was a boyfriend.” He paused, waiting for a reaction. When he didn’t get one, he continued. “Maybe my sources aren’t so good.”

She looked into the coffee and not at him. “There’s no one.”

“You say that so sadly,” he said, touching her shoulder.

Shannon jerked away as if he’d burned her.

“He hurt you that much?”

She felt tears threaten but she fought them. He would never see them. No one would. It was one of her rules. “I never said there was anyone. Why do you persist with these questions? Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

“I can,” he said, his eyes caressing her face. “But I don’t want to. I told you, I want to get to know you.”

Ben hovered over the crown of her head, wanting to kiss her at the top of her being. “I want to be your friend.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do.” He closed his eyes and inhaled a faint lavender scent from the soap she used.

Still looking into her coffee, Shannon fought her emotions. She hated how they crept up on her without warning and threatened to give her away. She didn’t want anyone, least of all a man, to know about her. For so long she’d pretended she was a woman without a past. Without history. She was Shannon Riley—nurse. That was all. “I have enough friends,” she said finally.

“But I don’t.” His voice dropped to a hush.

Empathy nearly bowled her over. Half of her wanted to bolt from this intimacy while the other half wanted the friendship he offered. “Ben, please…”

“So answer my question, Shannon. Is there someone? Was there someone? If so, I’ll go away.”

“A monster. A long time ago.” A tear dropped from her eye.

“I’m sorry,” he said, touching her arm. “But I’m not him.”

“I don’t want that to ever happen to me again,” she said. She handed the coffee back and turned away.

“But that’s not living,” Ben protested softly.

“Sure it is,” she said, braving a smile. “People do it all the time. If they’re smart.”

Ben stepped back to give her full berth. “And you’re smart?”

“As a whip,” she replied and retreated into John’s room.

Standing at John’s bedside, Shannon took his pulse, holding his hand a moment longer than necessary.

Just looking at John, she was able to block Ben out of her mind. “It’s true what Ben said. I did save your life. There’s a saying that if you save a person’s life, then you own them. Maybe that’s why doctors have such egos. They think they’re building up credits like bank balances, that the lives they save make them immortal. That’s my theory anyway.

“But I don’t want to own you, John. I want to get to know you,” she said, borrowing Ben’s line.

Shining a penlight into his pupils, she saw no response. Sadly, she closed his eyelids. “It’s safe in there. Feels good, doesn’t it? But it can’t last. That’s the sad part. Sooner or later, you have to come out of that cave. But don’t worry. When you do, I’ll be here. Waiting.”

The aftermath of the attempt on John’s life was unnervingly tranquil. It gave Ben a chance to chip away at Shannon’s wall, brick by brick.

“What’s this?” Shannon asked the next day in the hallway.

“No-fat latte. I heard you liked this better than the coffee and you only order it on payday. Extravagances like that will break you,” he joked.

“Ben, you’re pushing,” she said, but couldn’t stop the smile parting her lips.

He beamed broadly. “Think it’s working?”

She took the latte, pushed against John’s door with her hip and said, “Yes.”

“All right!” Ben said, pressing his arms down against his sides.

Ben waited a few minutes while Shannon went about her morning routine with John, marking things down. Because she was the only nurse assigned to the case, she was required to administer all medications and even perform orderly’s duties.

Ben opened the door and leaned against the jamb. “Need some help with the bedding? He’s kinda heavy.”

“I can manage,” she replied, tugging on the sheets.

Ben entered the room. “Ever heard the old saying that two people lighten the load.”

“Yes,” she replied as Ben lifted John’s leaden legs like feathers. She rolled the sheeting upward.

“Do you like movies, Shannon?”

“Yes.”

“What’s your favorite kind?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Musicals, I guess. Love stories.”

Ben slammed his hand over his heart. “Hope abounds! I figured you’d tell me you like those awful Gothic-horror flicks or blow-up stuff.”

Shannon chuckled in spite of herself. “Why? Is that what you like?”

“Never. I like westerns. Old ones. Even the silent ones. Tom Mix. I especially like the part where the cowboy kisses the cowgirl at the end.”

She looked away. “And then he rides off into the sunset…alone.”

“Is that what he did to you? He left you?”

Her eyes clouded over and the walls shot up around her. She stiffened visibly but said, “No, I left.”

“Oh,” he sighed.

Shannon finished changing the linens in silence. “Thanks for helping me, Ben,” she said finally.

He went to the tape player and exchanged the tape with one he’d hidden in his jacket pocket. He depressed the button. “I like La Bohème. It moves my soul.” He walked out the door.

Shannon looked from the door to the tape player and gasped. “How could he know? It’s my favorite, too.”

When evening came, the dinner trays were brought by an orderly. Ben took a tray for Shannon and left one for himself outside John’s door.

He pushed the door open, announcing, “Break time.”

Shannon looked at the tray, not realizing she was frowning.

“If you eat that stuff on a consistent basis, Ben, you’ll die.”

“This is a hospital. The food is supposed to be healthy.”

“I meant die of boredom.” She laughed.

Ben laughed with her as he put the tray on the window ledge. “How about we bust this joint and get some seafood. What do you say?”

“We can’t leave the patient, Ben. One of us has to be here at all times.”

Ben looked at John. “Nothing like having a vegetable for competition.”

Shannon’s frown was fierce. “Take it back.”

“What?”

“You heard me. You could have hurt his feelings. He can hear you, you know.”

“He’s unconscious,” Ben argued.

“The mind absorbs everything in its surroundings awake or asleep.” She looked at John empathetically. “He’s a human being. Just like you and me,” she said softly.

Ben backed away. There was something solemn about that moment and he had the incredible feeling he was not part of it. He realized he was an intruder.

The next day Ben brought in a tiny artificial Christmas tree, complete with lights, and set it up inside John’s room.

“What’s this?” Shannon asked. “Who sent this to John?”

“I bought it for you.”

She looked at the tree. “I told you to save your money.”

“Scrooge,” he replied, picking up his bantering tone again. “It was only six bucks. On sale.”

She examined it. “It’s kinda scrawny.”

He inspected the tree. “Do you think?”

She crossed to John’s bed and lifted his arm to take his pulse.

Ben smiled. “And here I was thinking I’d spared no expense when it came to you.”

She took John’s blood pressure and recorded her findings on his chart. “Ben, we’ve known each other for over three weeks now. I’ve been judicious about letting you know my feelings and concerns. But you keep pressing…”

Before she could finish, Ben crossed over to her. “I’m trying to wear you down.”

“Ben, please. I don’t want to be worn down. I’m doing fine on my own. Really.”

“Have lunch with me.”

“I can’t leave John,” she said.

“I’ve ordered takeout from the café,” he said brightly. “We’ll sit with John. He can join us if he likes.”

She cast him a semidamning look.

“He’ll be safe,” Ben assured her.

“You think of everything,” she sighed.

“Is it a date?”

She faced him with her hand on her hip. “If I do this, then will you stop bugging me?”

“Probably not.” He smiled charmingly at her.

“I didn’t think so.” She smiled back, dropping her defenses. “Why do you do this to yourself?”

“Do what?”

“Take on impossible challenges.”

“Just stubborn, I guess.” He chuckled. “So, you want turkey on wheat, Swiss cheese and fat-free Italian dressing. No mayo. No mustard. Right?”

“I’m impressed.”

“All I had to do was ask.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“Ben, how can you be interested in someone so predictable?”

“Predictable? Oh no, you’re quite the opposite. I find you as mysterious as the riddle of Giza.”

“How’s that?” she asked tensely.

“The owner of the deli says she never knows if you want your brownie with pecans or walnuts. That you are forever changing your mind.”

Shaking her head, she said, “I want the one with the caramel filling.”

“See? You’re fascinating. I’ll be back in ten.”

He was back in nine. He spread paper towels atop the hospital tray intended for the patient and handed Shannon a packet of sweetener.

“Just one for the tea, right?”

She looked at him. “You know, it makes me nervous you knowing so much about me. Have you followed me home yet?”

“I’m not a stalker, Shannon.”

“Have you?” she asked again.

“No,” he replied quietly. “But I’ve wanted to.”

“This isn’t healthy, Ben.”

He looked at the sandwich. “It’s fat-free.”

“I didn’t mean the turkey.”

“I know what you meant,” he said.

“You and me. It’s not going to go anywhere,” she said softly.

“Why not?” Putting his flat palms in the air, he said, “Don’t answer that.”

She peered at him. “Are you lonely?”

“Yes,” he said too quickly. “No. I mean, it’s not that, it’s you. You remind me of a girl I once knew.”

“A girl you loved?”

“Yes.”

“But I’m not her,” Shannon said, dropping her eyes. She stared at her tea thoughtfully. “What does friendship mean to you?”

Wiping his hands on the napkin, Ben said, “Always being there for each other. Supporting each other. Sharing good times, and bad ones.”

“Sounds like marriage. Or what marriage should be.”

“I said nothing about sex,” he said, purposefully revealing his passion for her.

She glanced at John.

Ben noticed that.

“I…don’t think I can do this, Ben. I’m not the chatty type. All this will lead to more questions I don’t want to answer. You’ll be frustrated….”

“I already am,” he said in a low voice, then looked out the window.

“I’m not good at relationships. That’s all you have to know about me. I handle them badly.”

He stood, gathering his coffee and sandwich. “How would you know? You haven’t tried.” He left the room without another word.

Shannon stared thoughtfully after him.

For the rest of the day, Ben remained outside John’s room, making calls on his cellular phone. She didn’t ask who he was calling, not wanting to spark another conversation that would only hurt him in the long run.

Shannon watched Ben as he exited the hospital and stood on the small grassy area five floors below John’s window, smoking cigarettes, pacing anxiously, looking confusedly at the sky, then up at John’s window. Their eyes would meet and she would turn away.

She told herself she wanted nothing to do with a man who wore a gun. Guns were bad news. Cops were bad news. And Ben was off-limits for more reasons than one.