Читать книгу Cathy Glass 3-Book Self-Help Collection - Cathy Glass, Cathy Glass - Страница 69

Now you need to talk to your child about the changes you are about to make in their routine and behaviour, and why the changes are necessary. If you have a partner and/or other children, hold a family meeting. Not a long meeting – about ten minutes is fine. If there is just you and your child, sit them down facing you so that you have their attention while you talk.

Explain the routine – going-to-bed time, homework time, household chores, etc. – but don’t expect your child to remember it instantly. He or she will need quite a few reminders to begin with, especially if there has been no routine and his or her day has been largely unstructured. If your child can tell the time, it’s a good idea to give him or her a watch, or put a clock in their bedroom. This will give your child responsibility for time keeping, which he or she will enjoy; it is also far more agreeable than you bellowing the time from the bottom of the stairs.

As well as explaining your new routine, tell your child what the behavioural issues are that are causing you and your partner concern. These may seem obvious to you, but they won’t necessarily to the child, particularly if his or her negative behaviour has gone uncorrected for years. Tell your child that their behaviour is wrong and that it is going to change – i.e. that there will be no more biting, shouting, slamming doors, etc. Warn of the sanctions that will be applied if necessary, and finish your talk on a positive note by praising your child, even if it is only for sitting still and listening to you.

Now start immediately: actions speak louder than words, and although your child or children listened to what you said they won’t appreciate that change is afoot until it actually happens.