Читать книгу Scraping the Barrel - Cayn White - Страница 7

Written about a slightly darker time in my life and exaggerated beyond belief, this is about how little niggles can become all-consuming and a welcome distraction from the world.

When Your Biscuit Falls Into Your Tea

It should never happen to anyone, let alone me

The day my biscuit fell into my tea

I couldn’t take it out and I had no access to a spoon

So I couldn’t fish it out, therefore it stayed marooned

At the bottom of my cup, destroying the taste

But I hated to see a good cuppa go to waste

So I necked the drink all in one

And I wretched and I gipped until the taste was gone

Shortly the vile after-taste went away

But that experience really ruined my day

Now I’ve had a load of things happen in my life

And I’ve had my fair share of trouble and strife

But one of the worst things that ever happened to me

Was when my biscuit fell into my tea

I’ve being mugged and threatened and mentally abused

I’ve fallen in love with people only to end up being

used

I’ve seen friends get buried and others locked up

But that doesn’t compare to the torment of dropping a

biscuit in my cup

I’ve drank so much that my liver couldn’t cope

I’ve been so ill that doctors gave up hope

But none of that’s as bad as the time I threw up

After eating the remains of the biscuit in my cup

Now you may think that I’m taking this a bit too far

And I know you find this poem to be a bit bizarre

But for me, death, betrayal and needless wars

All that stuff just seems to pause

Call it madness or insanity

But nothing else matters until that biscuit leaves my

tea!