Читать книгу Chloe Sims - The Only Way is Up - My Story - Chloe Sims - Страница 6

Being famous was never something I’d thought about – it certainly wasn’t an ambition, like it is for some people.

The truth is, I wanted to be a model; I had never even thought for a minute about being on TV, but I needed cash and fame brings you money. It’s as simple as that. I’d tried everything else, but I hadn’t tried fame. Being on TV would give my daughter and me a better life.

I am a firm believer that, if you want something enough, then somehow you will get it. Many times over the years I have said to myself, ‘This is not my real life’ – as if I was not living the life I was meant to.

Finally, I feel as though I am.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted a white Mercedes. I never thought in a million years I would get one, but now I have. I’m proud of it but also surprised that I have managed to bag my dream car. That’s not just it, me and my seven-year-old daughter Madison, or Mady for short, moved into a new house at the beginning of this year, and we are really happy and settled. Before that, we lived in a flat on a main road, Queens Road, in Buckhurst Hill, and it was a nightmare.

We lived opposite a social club and it was really noisy – there would be people leaving late at night and it used to keep Mady awake. They would get deliveries at all hours and the sound of them rolling the barrels right past our front door used to make the whole place shake. Then there was Costa Coffee, which was next door – they would get deliveries at 4am every single day.

It’s funny because it never really felt like home, even though we lived there for two-and-a-half years. I didn’t even bother to finish decorating it because it always felt temporary.

Now we live on the edge of farmland, with a huge garden and stunning views across the countryside. Mady can go out and see the cows and sheep in the fields and there’s no banging around at all hours – finally, we feel happy and safe.

I first heard about The Only Way Is Essex a couple of years ago when a gang of friends told me about this show that they were involved in. It was being made in Essex by a TV company called Lime Pictures.

They were wanting to film glamorous, larger-than-life characters that were well known on the party circuit for what sounded like an exciting new type of TV series – all glossy like a soap, but with real people. It was going to cover everything from bikini waxes to cheating and rows over men!

I hated my job and wasn’t earning a lot of money at the time; I thought it could be a lifesaver for me, and it sounded like a laugh, too! They were holding auditions at Faces nightclub in Gants Hill and I knew the owner, Tony Bee, so I asked him for the producer’s phone number. I thought about it for a while and then decided I had nothing to lose, so I eventually rang the number.

The producer was a woman called Sarah Dillistone, and we arranged to meet up in the King William pub in Chigwell. Over a drink, I told her about my crazy life and we chatted for hours. I told her about being single and the dating disasters I’d had, and she told me to email her over a short blog every week about what I’d been up to and any dates I’d been on.

After a couple of months of my sending over the weekly emails, Sarah rang me and asked if I was still interested but by then I’d just landed a new job that paid pretty well and things were starting to look up.

They wanted to come round to my house and film me, so I agreed to that. Afterwards, they still seemed keen and Sarah asked if I would do the show. It was only £50 a day to cover expenses, and I would have to do my own hair, make-up and styling, but I would be on the telly! She explained that, like with all successful shows, it could open up the doors to make personal appearances and interviews. She told me they thought it would be a real success, and I remember her saying, ‘This could be really good for you,’ and telling me it could well be my big break – but I started having second thoughts.

I had landed a job as a Playboy bunny and I felt I couldn’t give that up. I was also told that filming would be continuous, so I wouldn’t be able to be out of the country. At the time, I was working in France, so I felt I just couldn’t do it.

I had no idea whether the show would be a success and I just felt it was too big a risk to take. I honestly didn’t think it would be any good! Plus, I was worried that being on TV would mean my whole life would be scrutinised and picked apart. I was scared about what people would think of me – what if they all hated me and it ruined mine and Mady’s lives?

I had a nice set-up with work, so I turned it down.

The show began in October 2010. I then realised what a massive mistake I had made. Every weekend, I was travelling backwards and forwards to France, and all the travelling was beginning to get right on my nerves.

On Fridays, I would drop Mady at school and drive to Stansted as quickly as I could to make the flight to wherever I was going that weekend. It was relentless – I was a single mum all week looking after Mady on my own and then I was working really long hours at weekends.

Sometimes our group of Playboy girls would land at the airport and then drive ten hours to a small French village and I was sick of it. I remember one morning when I was waiting for my flight to be called and I was looking in a newsagent’s at all the gossip magazines. Every single one of them had the TOWIE girls on the front and it just hit me: I had made the biggest mistake of my life.

All I could think was: ‘That could have been me’ and I was devastated. That was it – I had missed my chance. I tried to put it out of mind because there was no point in dwelling on it: I had made my choice, and that was that.

Then, in early 2011, I had a call from my friend Layla Manoochehri, whose boyfriend was Simon Webbe from the boy band Blue. She had also been in talks to appear on the show, and she told me the TOWIE producers were trying to get in touch with me. I couldn’t believe it – I’d tried to forget all about it and put all thoughts of TOWIE behind me, and I didn’t dare think what this could mean.

I phoned them and spoke to the new producer, Katie Fox, who asked me in for a chat. She told me they were seeing if people they had spoken to before Series One were still interested in joining the show – they wanted to bring in some new faces for the second series. I told her I’d love to. She explained they would send a cameraman to my house and film me, and then they had to send the footage to ITV to see if I was suitable, and it turned out I was! The next step was a meeting with some bigwigs from ITV and the production company, Lime Pictures.

By this point, I was determined that I was going to do this – I 100 per cent had to get a place on that show! Now totally sick of my job, I desperately needed that break.

I had loads of calls from all different people asking me questions, questions and more questions. Then there were lots of meetings – but I still didn’t know how far along I had got. I felt it was looking good because they wouldn’t leave me alone, but I didn’t know for sure.

It was torture because they wouldn’t let me tell anyone either. Finally, I was asked in for a meeting and screen test with some of the top producers. I was so nervous that I ended up getting really drunk the night before, and I think I was still drunk when I went to the meeting! They asked me questions on camera and I was really open – probably still the effects of the previous night’s alcohol! I thought, I’ve just got to go for it, really make them laugh and like me, and soon they were laughing their heads off at me and my mad stories.

Then they asked me if I knew anyone else in Essex, and I told them that I knew Joey Essex, who is my first cousin. They were gobsmacked because they had been speaking to Joey as well and had asked him in for a meeting – they had no idea we were related.

I kept on seeing all the TOWIE girls in magazines and thinking it could be me after all. I was giddy, knowing I was so close to getting on the show – I just couldn’t imagine being in a magazine.

One day, I was asked to do a promotional modelling job at Forever Unique in London’s West End. I walked in and there was TOWIE star Lucy Mecklenburgh. I had never met her before and she was even more stunning in the flesh. We started chatting and I was desperate to tell her that I was in talks to be in the second series, but I didn’t dare because I’d been sworn to secrecy. It was so hard not being able to say anything!

After that, the producers came and did some more filming with me to see what I was like on camera, and I was given the dates when scenes were being filmed, but I still didn’t know for sure whether I was on the show. It was mad – I had pinned all my hopes on it but I still hadn’t been given confirmation. Me and Joey would call each other to discuss it and see if the other one had heard anything – we both thought we had got it, but we still didn’t know for definite. He was the only one I could trust with my secret. We both secretly hoped that we’d be in it together.

A few weeks later, I got a call for filming – it was going to be at Amy Childs’ house in Brentwood. Amy had been in the show since the beginning and was one of the girls I’d been looking at on the front of magazines. She ran a beauty salon and was already a massive star of the show. They still hadn’t said, ‘You’ve made it on the show’ – I only knew I had made it when I was given a contract and started filming! Because it had all been so uncertain whether I would actually make it on to the show, I carried on working for Playboy right up until just a few days before I filmed my first scenes.

When I got to Amy’s house, I was asked to act just as I normally would while having a beauty appointment. I hadn’t yet met the other cast, so the first time I met them properly was on camera. Obviously, Amy would be there and so would Harry Derbidge and Sam Faiers; I was really nervous. I knew Sam vaguely because she was friends with my brother’s girlfriend, but I had never met her properly before.

It was really nerve-wracking and, as I walked in, I was shaking like a leaf. I had to strip off and stand there in a tiny G-string, holding my boobs, while Amy gave me a spray tan!

It’s a good job I’m not shy, isn’t it? Me and Amy chatted about our boob jobs while she sprayed me. She told me I had great boobs!

So that’s how I started in the show. Standing there virtually naked was certainly not your average entrance and I tried to be all confident, but, when I watch that first scene back now, I look like a rabbit caught in the headlights! It was so nerve-wracking and you can tell I’m terrified. I found it really hard to act naturally when the cameras were rolling, and I looked a right state, too. I had just done my make-up the way I would normally but I hadn’t realised that TV make-up is so different. You need a lot more to look good on the telly than you do in real life.

I still came out buzzing – I was just so glad I’d got my first scene done.

The next day, it was Joey’s turn and we were filming at the King William pub, where I had met the producer the previous year. That scene took ages to film because Joey kept stopping them to ask if he looked OK and how he was meant to smile! He’s so insecure about the way he looks. I know people think he puts it on for the cameras but he really doesn’t – he’s exactly the same in real life, if not even funnier.

Over the next week, I did more scenes: one at the opening of Sam’s shop, Minnie’s, and one at the Sugar Hut nightclub with Kirk and Mick Norcross. At that point, it was still all top secret until it aired. I had only told a handful of people and it was so strange: here I was filming for a major TV show and yet no one knew about it, and I was living on the money I had saved from Playboy.

I just wanted the first episode to be broadcast so it could finally be out in the open!

Now, nearly 18 months after that first show, my life has changed completely – I never imagined I wouldn’t even be able to go to the local shop without being recognised. For the time being, I am happy being in TOWIE but I know it won’t last forever and I need to make plans for my future. My ambition had always been to be a model, but now I’m 30, I’m too old and so my career aspirations have had to change.

I came from nothing and I’ve been through a lot to get where I am today. I have experienced so much – some of it good, some of it bad – and I’ve had a lot of adventures along the way. I’ve rubbed shoulders with some massive stars and done things that even at the time I’ve thought, ‘This is crazy, what am I doing here?’ but that has just made my life all the more exciting.

I’ve been through some pretty tough times in my life that have led me to where I am today, but I always try to look at the positives when life gets tough. Sometimes I get it wrong because it’s hard work, juggling everything – work, being a single mum – and for that reason I try not to have too many regrets. Everything I’ve done has been to provide a better life for Mady and me.

And everything I’ve done has shaped who I am now and right now I’m happy with where I’m at. Even though I’m on The Only Way Is Essex, I still don’t think I’ve ‘made it’ – I haven’t made so much money that I can retire and I still push my trolley round the supermarket in my tracksuit!

I know the show won’t go on forever so I still need to have goals. Fashion is something I’ve always been passionate about, and I’d love to be a designer, maybe even have my own high-street range.

Over the years, I have done a string of jobs, from flipping burgers in McDonald’s to selling double-glazing, and I know now that I couldn’t do just anything – it would have to be something I loved. I’m at the age where I won’t take any nonsense either. When I was 21, people may have been able to push me about, but not now. I’ve always wanted to be my own boss and I would love to create my own fashion range and turn it into a proper successful brand.

But overall my dream is the same as most girls – to marry the love of my life, have more kids, work less, be a proper family unit. And live happily ever after.

That’s all I’ve ever really wanted.

Even after everything I have been through, I still believe in that fairytale ending. I’ve met the man of my dreams – all I need now is my castle to live in.

Those are the things I’ve wanted ever since I was a little girl – I just didn’t realise how much of a rollercoaster my life was going to be before I got there…