Читать книгу 20 Something Manifesto - Christine Hassler - Страница 49

In the Basic stage, we live our lives under a microscope of self-evaluation, but at first our focus is almost constantly looking for ways to be “more, better, different.” We don’t know who we are, which is bad enough, but what we do know about ourselves we often don’t like. We’re desperate for change and self-improvement.

However, comparing ourselves to others, and trying to emulate them, is not a successful strategy. After all, there will always be someone who has more or seems to be doing things better. As the cliché goes, “The grass is always greener on the other side.” But really, it only seems greener. Since you are looking from the outside, you have no way of knowing what struggles the other person is going through inside. When we are unhappy with ourselves, another “yard” is always going to look more appealing, but we must focus our attention on watering our own lawn and making our grass as green as possible.

Aim to enrich your life, not improve yourself by changing, adding, or deleting. In other words, stop trying to be a certain kind of person, and simply do the things that you enjoy. For example, if you like to create things, join a painting class. If you want to express more kindness in your life, find opportunities to volunteer. If you simply want to play, maybe it’s time for a trip to the batting cages. Bring out the parts of you that you know are there, instead of struggling to mold yourself into what you think you need to be. Become more accepting of who you are.

As we begin to shed old externally given labels and identities, and as we realize we not only have a choice but the ability to create who we are, that is when we shift from the Basic to the Investigative stage on the Self-Awareness Continuum.