Читать книгу 20 Something Manifesto - Christine Hassler - Страница 43

What are the quickest, most effective ways to treat an Expectation Hangover? Practice gratitude and selflessness. First, appreciate who you are, what you’ve learned, and everything you have. This is vastly different from being self-absorbed or selfish (which can be disguised as “ambitious”). During an Expectation Hangover, we focus on ourselves and all we don’t have or didn’t get. But our Hangovers disappear whenever we focus on what we are grateful for and then shift our attention to the needs of others.

“When I do things to help others and feel like I am somehow contributing to help make a difference in the world, I am filled with happiness and excitement.”

Life coach and server, 27, recovering from a breakup, New Jersey

I’ve learned this for myself whenever I’m involved in volunteer work. Giving to others always translates to receiving. But what motivates me is not what I get back; instead, it’s the feeling inside me that emerges in the process of service. I wish I could bottle that feeling and offer it to people in lieu of antidepressants.

When you’re feeling sorry for yourself, commit to finding some way to be of service to others. Get involved and donate your time (which is often more valuable than money) to a person or organization that needs help. For instance, commit to giving at least two hours a month. Being of service is part of our responsibility as human beings. However, if you are prone to “overgiving,” remember that we are responsible for taking care of ourselves as well; stay balanced and don’t give so much you’re depleted. Even Gandhi and Mother Teresa had help.

Also, remember that service to others only helps when it’s truly selfless, when we give with no expectation to receive. If we give hoping to get something back, we are setting ourselves up for an Expectation Hangover. Don’t give from a place of expectation, give from your heart, and you could discover parts of yourself you may not have known were there.

“There is no greater beauty in my eyes than that of a human being who selflessly and passionately sacrifices his- or herself for the well-being of others.”

Logistics analyst, 29, serious relationship, California

Often ways to be of service are right under our nose, and many are so simple we overlook them. We don’t have to travel to an impoverished nation or a suffering city to serve. Help a friend who is moving, offer to watch your neighbor’s kids, smile at a passerby, let someone in front of you in line, or call someone who you know is lonely. Everyone can help someone.