Читать книгу 20 Something Manifesto - Christine Hassler - Страница 37

I’ve found that many twenty somethings are experts at worrying about and beating themselves up for problems and concerns that do not even exist yet. It’s a symptom of living in the “what ifs” of the future, which drain the enjoyment and chance for success in the now. In Erin’s case, she seems emotionally paralyzed in classic twenty-something domino fashion: pursing dance means moving, which means she can’t pursue a serious romance, and a dancing life also seems to threaten any chance at future motherhood. These are serious issues, but they are not issues she is facing, or can do anything about, at the current moment.

Besides, who says what’s possible or impossible? What if Erin met a local guy with big-city dreams as well? Don’t professional dancers have children? Anything is possible and creative solutions can be found — as long as you stay out of the court of imaginary worry.

In our twenties, we become hyper-focused on our futures while we are still trying to figure out who we are (based mainly on our childhoods), all the while obsessively comparing our progress to others. Twenty somethings spend less time in the present than an atheist spends at church. Would you like to avoid an Expectation Hangover? Live in the moment, focus on your own short-term goals, and trust that life does have a way of working itself out.

“Our culture really focuses on youth and success, and many of us feel that we have to be fabulously successful by age thirty or we’re failures. I think we forget that lives don’t have to follow a single path. . . . Many people don’t become truly successful until they’re older, which makes a lot of sense.”

Graduate student, 25, dating, New Jersey