Читать книгу 20 Something Manifesto - Christine Hassler - Страница 36

If you consistently focus on what you don’t have or what you think can’t be done, you are impairing your ability to arrive at what you want. The present is the result of the past, not a predictor of the future. Erin is quick to discount her efforts and achievements (calling herself a “loser”) in the face of all she hasn’t yet done, and she uses both her own expectations and those of others to beat herself up. I see this negative thinking in many of my clients.

I’m sure you can guess my answer to Erin’s other question — “How do I stop comparing myself to everyone else around me?” Again, just give it up. There will always be people more successful, prettier, smarter, richer, more in love, and so on. Count on it for the rest of your life. It’s self-defeating and counterproductive to compare yourself to others; it yields only envy and feelings of inferiority. Break the comparison habit now, and I promise you that you will have more peace in your life. There is enough abundance in the world to go around, so keep your attention on your own life. Redirect your focus to all the things you have done and you do have.

My recommendation for those who continually get trapped comparing themselves to others is to keep a gratitude journal — you can do it in your head, but it is more useful and effective to write things down. For example, if you have $10 in your savings account, focus on and celebrate how awesome it is to have that $10, rather than think about the $10,000 you don’t have.

“I’ve been too busy living life to focus on what I should have or how I measure up to others. The expectations I do have are to be generally happy, feel good about my work, have health insurance, and stay in touch with old friends. The rest of it is just whining.”

Project manager, 24, serious relationship, Washington