Читать книгу 20 Something Manifesto - Christine Hassler - Страница 27

Life as a twenty-five-year-old guy is pretty simple. I really have three primary focuses the minute I get out of bed — girls, having fun with my buddies, and trying to earn a lot of money so I don’t have to work as hard in a job I’m really not that passionate about. And yes, it’s pretty much in that order.

I’ll admit that while there is a level of attitude that comes with this package, on many levels there is a total lack of direction and security. I believe that my life will eventually have more substance, but for now I’m happy and choose to ignore having to grow up and be somewhat responsible. My direction is more driven by group mentality for now. I guess all this comes out of fear of being bored and average.

My days consist of going to the gym, going to work, and going out. My job also gives me the amazing opportunity to live (and I mean live it up right) months at a time in travel to foreign countries like Argentina, Venezuela, Mexico, Hong Kong, and Taiwan. With nearly thirty-five countries under my belt, I’m trying to put that old sailor adage to work — having a girl in every port, as my mom likes to say with a smirk of judgment and a twinge of guilt laced in it. At work, I pass the time wondering where our next blowout event will be by chatting profusely with my own tier-two rat pack via IM.

I still have to work hard for my next hot date, as I drive a Nissan, I have a roommate who is my best friend, and I make under $50K. Yes, the not-so-fancy ride and less-than-fancy apartment is the root of insecurity. There is always a more handsome guy with a better job, more money, and nicer things. I compare, I judge, and I keep trying to keep up. I continue to hope there is a purposed-filled light at the end of this directionless tunnel.

“We should be keeping it light and not get bogged down with anything. We’re too young to worry about the big picture yet. I say learn to live happy now and that will take you through your entire life.”

Nonprofit administrator, 27, married, Texas

For now, I continue to just move ahead and learn what it is I don’t want to do. I do not have a girlfriend, and while it would be nice to have one, in reality I can’t be bothered. Having one will just pose the dilemma of my potentially missing that next big party with more hot girls or another trip I’m planning with my buddies. The grass-is-greener mentality runs deep.

And, yes, I am overstretched in debt up to my ears and not so worried about how and when I’ll pay it off. I figure I’m smart enough, with a college education and a crazy work ethic, which will always bail me out. My friends are somewhat better off though. They all make more than me for working less. I get jealous; we’re a competitive group. It’s a healthy competition on the surface, but it pains me sometimes as I just wish things could come easier.

My life always has to have an activity. I guess I don’t fully feel comfortable with just being by myself. I mean I like myself, but I need stimulus; too much time alone sparks too many unwanted, racing thoughts about how boring life can be without a girl, money, and a set career path. A mild case of depression sets in. For me it’s a sign of weakness, and so I push through. Burying any notion of having a weakness is all too common. It just doesn’t fit into my schedule at the mature age of twenty-five.

I know there is probably a bigger, more substantive life out there for me, whatever my purpose is supposed to be. For now, though, the purpose seems to be about highs. I’m an adrenaline junkie. Perhaps the anticipation of my next fun-filled activity is causing me to forget about the actual ride and preventing me from appreciating all that’s around me? I think that could be part of it. Still, something is telling me that this is my course for now and that a more meaningful one will unfold.

Whatever the life lessons that come my way, I try not to overthink it, but I do reflect on it. The grass won’t always be greener, or at least I will finally realize that this is really a cliché. The good thing that I keep telling myself is that at least I’m getting it out of my system so when the time is right to grow up, I may actually do so willingly.