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2.	EXPECTATION HANGOVERS

“An Expectation Hangover is just like a dark storm cloud that continues to loom overhead. Nothing really ever comes of it — it just makes your day dark and dreary, and you walk around all the time waiting for the bottom to fall out. You know it’s there, even when you’re not looking up at it, because you can feel it. And most of all, it brings your entire mood down just by virtue of the fact that it is there, lurking.”

Accounts coordinator, 25, single, Nebraska

Can you relate to any of the following? You are often in a funk that you can’t get out of. You have low energy and trouble focusing on things. TiVo has become your most fulfilling relationship. You obsess about things in the past or to come in the future like it’s your favorite hobby. You are losing hope that you will ever figure out what you want and actually get it. Something turned out different than what you wanted and planned, so you gave up trying. Something unexpected and undesirable occurred, and you can’t get over it. If you answered yes to any of the above, you are likely suffering from an Expectation Hangover.

The symptoms that accompany Expectation Hangovers are as miserable as those from a hangover from alcohol. You feel lethargic, down in the dumps, and regretful. You wish you could turn back time and would do anything to end your suffering. Your level of performance at work may suffer, your creativity is stifled, you may withdraw from your social life, and your self-esteem plummets.

One twenty-eight-year-old woman describes her Expectation Hangovers: “It feels like a dull pain in my chest. It’s the terrible disappointment I’ve felt when faced with the results of my decisions and has led to some depression, much anxiety, and a lot of introspection. I would say during these Hangovers I am motivated toward change — but the scary part is seeing how to make the change and also seeing the obstacles in the way, mainly being the opinion of family and loved ones. These obstacles can make what seems to be a simple fix a much more complicated process. It can be quite daunting to try to change my life in a way I see fit when I feel like no one is supporting it or even trying to simply accept it.”

In college, when you nursed a hangover from too much drinking, what did you do? Took some aspirin, ate some greasy food, and stayed inside with the lights low for a day until it wore off. But an Expectation Hangover can last for days, weeks, and even months because time is no cure — instead, it just hands us more expectations. Expectation Hangovers have become an epidemic, and this chapter presents twenty somethings with a treatment and prevention plan. For the quick overview, see page 54.