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Chapter 2

Understanding Change

“To change one’s life: Start immediately, Do it flamboyantly, no exceptions.” ~William Jones, Philosopher

Before we begin learning and applying the 7 Strategies to shift life from chaos to calm, it is important to understand the different stages of change. The change created by applying the strategies and tools in Live Life Beyond the Laundry is more than a New Year’s resolution. If done correctly, it’s a sustainable lifestyle change!

Many of the coaching clients I work with want change to happen overnight. I’m sorry to tell you it doesn’t happen that fast. Successful, positive change takes time and work. You really have to want the end result of the change to make the change happen. Consistent daily action sustained over a period of time creates results. During the change process, you are basically reprogramming your brain.

Scientists believe that 90 percent of our day-to-day activities are spent in routine. This is a good thing. This means we just know how to brush our teeth, turn on the shower, make a bowl of cereal or even read a book. You have practiced these activities with such consistency and frequency that you have created pathways in your brain to repeat the sequences without even thinking about them.

This is also a bad thing. You have developed unhealthy, destruc-tive routines as well—for example, creating unrealistic expectations, telling yourself you are so busy, multi-tasking, and telling yourself you don’t have the time.

My coaching clients who have successfully implemented even some of the tools and strategies in this book reap benefits for a lifetime. The strategies work. I challenge you to make a few small changes. The strategies in this book are something you will gradually implement into your life. If you try to tackle all 7 Strategies, you will become overwhelmed and will not sustain the lifestyle changes. So pick three areas you need the most work on and start there.

According to James Prochaska and a team of scientists from the University of Rhode Island, there are five stages to the change process. These scientists developed a model for change called the Transtheoretical Model. To successfully achieve your dreams and goals, you will progress through each of the following stages.

1.Pre-contemplation (Not Ready)—People don’t even know they need or want to change.

2.Contemplation (Getting Ready)—People begin to recognize they need to change a behavior and start to look at the pros and cons. They say, “Someday I will do that.”

3.Preparation (Ready)—People intend to take action soon and may begin taking small steps toward making changes.

4.Action (Making progress)—People take specific actions and make modifications.

5.Maintenance (Keep going and celebrate success)—People are able to sustain the actions and modifications for a period of time.

By understanding the five stages of change, you will increase your probability of success to Live Life Beyond the Laundry. Since you have purchased this book, you are likely somewhere between the stages of contemplation and preparation.

You can work through the book from Strategy #1 to Strategy #7, or you can identify the areas creating the biggest challenges in your life and start there. Either will be effective, since all 7 Strategies are important to your ability to Live Life Beyond the Laundry. If you are reading this book with an e-reader, purchase a cute journal or use a notepad to complete the activities. The following activity will help you determine the starting point for your journey of change and success.

Where Are You Now in Your Continuum?

The purpose of this activity is to identify which of the 7 Strategies you excel at and which need some improvement. It is crucial to get an understanding of what is creating the chaos and frustration in your life. This activity will guide you through a self-analysis to determine where to begin to shift life from chaos to calm.

Step 1: Rate yourself from 1 (clueless) to 10 (kickin’ butt) for each of the 7 Strategies. When you rank yourself, be brutally honest because, if you are not, the only person you hurt is you. It is your starting point. (I have provided a short explanation of each strategy below to create understanding as you rank yourself.)

(Clueless) 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (Kickin’ Butt)

___ Strategy #1: “Me” Time—Time spent each day doing something you enjoy. “Me” Time recharges your battery and allows you to operate throughout your day fully charged.

___ Strategy #2: Ask for help—As busy women, we think we can do it all, and all by ourselves. We power through the day, task after task, then collapse into bed at the end of the day. Learn to incorporate asking for help into your daily routine without feeling guilty about it.

___ Strategy #3: NO is not a four-letter word—If the words, “Yes, I can help with that” or “Sure, I can make that work” are part of your daily vocabulary, this strategy will transform your life. As busy women, we tend to over-commit and spread ourselves so thin we don’t have time for our families, let alone ourselves.

___ Strategy #4: Balancing act—In essence, this strategy discusses effective time management. It is a commonly known fact that there are only 24 hours in a day; once you use those hours, they are gone. Strategy #4 focuses on tools for planning, dividing and conquering the day for success.

___ Strategy #5: Stop procrastinating NOW—We all procrastinate to some degree or another. Procrastination wastes time, decreases productivity and causes chaos. How much time do you spend procrastinating?

___ Strategy #6: Busy Mind Syndrome—Are you always thinking about too many things? This is Busy Mind Syndrome, otherwise known as BMS, which makes it difficult to sleep and to focus on your daily schedules and responsibilities.

___ Strategy #7: Don’t reinvent the laundry basket—Everyone has tips, strategies and tools to make the day run smoother. Do you ask friends and family what works for them? Ask; you might be amazed at what you learn.

Step 2: Note the two highest scores. Now, use your notepad to make a list of everything you do well in these areas of your life. It is important to give yourself credit for what you already do well. Take a moment and reread this list. Celebrate and congratulate yourself on every single one of the things you already do to control the chaos in your life. If your list is short, that’s okay. If your list is empty, that’s okay. Taking the steps you have taken so far in this process is a giant leap in the right direction. Continue these activities as you begin to work on the areas you have identified that need a little work.

Step 3: Note the two lowest scores. These are the areas of focus as you begin to work through the book. As mentioned above, you may choose to begin to work on these strategies first or begin working through the book from Strategy 1.

Where Do you Want to Be?

The purpose of this activity is to create a vision of what you want your future to look like. When you create a clear, concise vision of what you want, it greatly increases the probability it will happen.

Step 1: Spend time giving thought to what you want to have. Dream big. The sky’s the limit. Create your ideal life. What do you want the following items in your life to look like? Write down your answers.

•Fun: happiness, hobbies

•Relationship: current or future life partner

•Career: job satisfaction, career path

•Family: children, parents, relatives

•Social: friends, sport, activities

•Health: exercise, diet, “Me” Time

•Financial: savings, investments

•Spirituality: faith

Step 2: Imagine you have already reached the above dreams and goals. What does it feel like right now to have that in your life? Write it down. Do you feel happy, excited, grateful and fulfilled?

Step 3: Now, believe you already have this life. Live as if you have created success. Fake it until you make it. In time, it will be your new reality. This creates the emotional connection to truly reach your dreams.

Step 4: Take it one step further and create a vision board. Find pictures in magazines or on the internet that represent your vision of how life will be when you reach your dreams. These are pictures that inspire you. Glue the pictures to a large sheet of paper and place your vision board where you will see it daily. I have mine on my desk. You don’t need to study it every day. Just by glancing at it occasionally, you will remain inspired to move forward to reach your dreams. If you enjoy technology, you can also create an electronic vision board that sequences through when you log on to your computer each morning. Here is a picture of my first vision board.

Success Story:

A coaching client of mine has been using a vision board for a couple of years. She shared with me that she created one several months back in a class. She tucked it away in the class material and forgot to put it in a location where she would see it. One of the items she placed on the vision board was a picture of Disney World. Her dream was to take her daughter to Disney World. She knew it was a stretch; however, she placed it on her vision board anyway. She just returned from her trip to Disney World with her daughter. She had forgotten she had placed it on her vision board. Just a few months back, it was only a dream and it magically materialized just by creating the vision.

Fun Story:

A good friend of mine created a travel vision board. She cut out pictures of every place she dreams of traveling to sometime in the future. She then created a vision board with the pictures. As she travels to her dream locations, she glues a picture she took during her travels and places it over the cut-out picture of that location on her vision board. This is the power of turning dreams into reality.

Living Life Beyond the Laundry = Balancing Life

You can’t make your dream happen if you don’t have a dream! ~Walt Disney