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TO ATTICUS (AT ROME)

BRUNDISIUM, 8 MARCH (EVENING)

Cephalio delivered me a letter from you in the evening of the 8th of March. Now on the morning of the same day I had already despatched the letter-carriers, to whom I had given a letter for you. However, after reading your letter I thought I must write something in answer, more especially as you shew that you are anxious as to what explanation I intend to offer Caesar of my journey at the time that I left Italy. I have no need of any new explanation. For I have repeatedly written to him, and have charged various people to tell him, that I was unable, much as I wished it, to stand out against people's talk; and much more to the same effect. For there is nothing I should less like than that be should think that in a matter of such importance I did not act on my independent judgment. ¹⁷ I afterwards received a letter from Cornelius Balbus the younger, saying that Caesar regarded my brother Quintus as having "sounded the signal" for my retreat—for that was his expression. I was not at the time aware of what Quintus had written about me to many; but he had spoken and acted to my face with great bitterness, in spite of which I yet wrote to Ceasar in these words: “I am no less anxious for my brother Quintus than for myself: but I do not venture in such a position as mine to recommend him to you. Yet this at least I will venture to ask of you—thus much I can do—I beg you not to think that he did anything to diminish the constancy of my service, or lessen my affection to you. Believe rather that he always advised our union; and was the companion, not the leader, of my journey. Wherefore in other matters pray give him all the credit that your own kindness and your mutual friendship demand. I earnestly and repeatedly entreat you not to let me stand in his light with you.”

Wherefore if I ever do meet Caesar—though I have no doubt of his being lenient to Quintus, and that he has already made his intention clear—I after all shall be consistent with myself. But, as far as I can see, my anxiety must be much more in regard to Africa, which, in fact, you say is growing daily stronger, though rather in a way to make one hope for conditions of peace than victory. Would to heaven it were so! But my view of the facts is far different, and I think that you yourself agree with me, but write in a different sense, not to deceive but to encourage me, especially now that Spain ¹⁸ is also joined to Africa. You advise me to write to Antony and the rest. If you think anything of the sort necessary, please do as you have often done : ¹⁹ for nothing occurs to me as needing to be written. You have been told that I am in better spirits—what can you think when you see added to my other causes of uneasiness these fine doings of my son-in-law. ²⁰ However, don't cease doing what you can in that direction-namely,, writing to me, even if you have nothing to write about. For a letter from you always conveys something to me. I have accepted the inheritance of Galeo. I presume the form of acceptance was simple, as none has been sent me. ²¹