Читать книгу The Letters, Volume 3 - Cicero - Страница 44

TO ATTICUS (AT ROME)

BRUNDISIUM, 3 JUNE

IT is by no fault of mine this time—for I did commit an error formerly—that the letter you forward brings me no consolation. For it is written in a grudging spirit, and gives rise to strong suspicions of not really being from Caesar, suspicions which I think have occurred to yourself. About going to meet him I will do as you advise. The fact is that there is no belief prevalent as to his coming, nor do those who arrive from Asia say that anything has been heard about a peace, the hope of which caused me to fall into this trap. I see no reason for entertaining hopes, especially in the present circumstances, when such disaster has been sustained in Asia, in Illyricum, in the Cassius affair, in Alexandria itself, in the city, in Italy. ³⁶ In my opinion, even if he is going to return (he is said to be still engaged in war) the business will be all settled before his return.

You say that a certain feeling of exultation on the part of the loyalists was roused on hearing of the receipt of this letter: you of course omit nothing in which you think that there is any consolation; but I cannot be induced to believe that any loyalist could think that any salvation has been of such value in my eyes, as to make me ask it of Caesar—much less should I be likely to do so now that I have not a single partner even in this policy. ³⁷ Those in Asia are waiting to see how things turn out. Those in Achaia also keep dangling before Fufius the hope that they will petition for pardon. These men had at first the same reason for fear as I had, and the same policy. The check at Alexandria has improved their position, it has ruined mine. ³⁸ Wherefore I now make the same request to you as in my previous letter, that, if you can see in the midst of this desperate state of things what you think I ought to do, you would tell me of it. Supposing me to be received back by this party, ³⁹ which you see is not the case, yet, as long as there is war, I cannot think what to do or where to stay: still less, if I am rejected by them. Accordingly, I am anxious for a letter from you, and beg you to write to me without hesitation.

You advise me to write to Quintus about this letter of Caesar's: I would have done so, if it had been in any way one agreeable to me; although I have received a letter from a certain person in these words: "Considering the evil state of things, I am pretty comfortable at Patrae: I should be still more so, if your brother spoke of you in terms suited to my feelings." You say that Quintus writes you word that I never answer his letters. I have only had one from him; to that I gave an answer to Cephalio, who, however, was kept back several months by bad weather. I have already told you that the young Quintus has written to me in the most offensive terms.

The last thing I have to say is to beg you, if you think it a right thing to do and what you can undertake, to communicate with Camillus and make a joint representation to Terentia about making a will. The state of the times is a warning to her to take measures for satisfying all just claims upon her. Philotimus tells me that she is acting in an unprincipled way. ⁴⁰ I can scarcely believe it, but at any rate, if there is anything that can be done, measures should be taken in time. Pray write to me on every sort of subject, and especially what you think about her, in regard to whom I need your advice, even though you fail to hit upon any plan: I shall take that to mean that the case is desperate.

³ June.