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CDXXXII (A XI, 18)

TO ATTICUS (AT ROME)

BRUNDISIUM, 19 JUNE

ABOUT Caesar's departure from Alexandria there is as yet no rumour, and, on the contrary, there is an opinion that he is in serious difficulties. Accordingly, I shall not send my son, as I had intended, and I beg you to get me out of this place. For any punishment is less galling than a continuance here. On this subject I have written both to Antony and to Balbus and Oppius. For whether there is to be war in Italy, or whether he will employ his fleet, in either case this is the last place for me. Perhaps it will be both: certainly there will be one or the other. I understood clearly from Oppius's remarks, which you reported to me, what the anger of that party against me is: but I beg you to divert it. I expect nothing at all now that is not unhappy. But nothing can be more abominable than the place in which I now am. Wherefore I would like you to speak both to Antony and to the Caesarians with you, and get the matter through for me as well as you can, and write to me on all subjects as soon as possible. Good-bye.

¹⁹ June.

CDXXXIII (F XIV, 15)

TO TERENTIA (AT ROME)

BRUNDISIUM, 19 JUNE

If you are well, I am glad. I had resolved, as I told you in a previous letter, to send our son to meet Caesar, but I have changed my mind, because I hear nothing of his coming. On other matters, though there is nothing new, yet you will be able to learn from Sicca what my wishes are, and what I think necessary at such a time as this. I am still keeping Tullia with me. Take great care of your health. Good-bye.

¹⁹ June.

CDXXXIV (A XI, 25)

TO ATTICUS (AT ROME)

BRUNDISIUM, 5 JULY

I have no difficulty in agreeing with your letter, in which you point out at considerable length that there is no advice by which I can be aided by you. At least there is no consolation capable of relieving my sorrow. For nothing has been brought upon me by chance—for that would have been endurable—but I have created it all by those mistakes and miserable conditions of mind and body, to which I only wish those nearest and dearest to me had preferred to apply remedies! Therefore, since I have no ray of hope either of advice from you or of any consolation, I will not ask you for them in future. I would only ask one thing of you—that you should not omit writing to me whatever comes into your mind, whenever you have anyone to whom you can give a letter, and as long as there shall be anyone to whom to write, which won't be very long. There is a rumour of a doubtful sort that Caesar has quitted Alexandria. It arose from a letter from Sulpicius, ⁴⁷ which all subsequent messengers have confirmed. Since it makes no difference to me, I don't know whether I should prefer this news being true or false. As to what I said some time ago to you about Terentia's will, I should like it preserved in the custody of the Vestals. ⁴⁸

I am worn out and harassed to death by the folly of this most unhappy girl. ⁴⁹ I don't think there was ever such a creature born. If any measure of mine can do her any good, I should like you to tell me of it. I can see that you will have the same difficulty as you had before in giving me advice—but this is a matter that causes me more anxiety than everything else. I was blind to pay the second instalment. I wish I had done otherwise: but that's past and done with. I beg of you that, considering the ruinous state of affairs, if any money can be collected or got together and put in safe hands, from sale of plate and the fairly abundant furniture, you would take steps to do so. ⁵⁰ For I think that the worst is hard upon us, that there will be no making of peace, and that the present regime will collapse even without an opponent. Speak to Terentia also on this subject, if you think it right, at some convenient opportunity. I can't write all I have to say. Good-bye.

⁵ July.

CDXXXV (A XI, 23)

TO ATTICUS (AT ROME)

BRUNDISIUM, 9 JULY

On the subject on which I wrote to ask you to consult with Camillus, he has himself written to say that you have spoken to him. ⁵¹ I am waiting for a letter from you—but I do not see how it can be changed if it is other than it should be. But having received a letter from him, I wanted one from you, though I think that you have not been informed on the subject I only hope that you are well! For you mentioned that you were suffering from a sort of illness. A certain Agusius arrived from Rhodes on the 8th of July. He brings word that young Quintus started to join Caesar on the 29th of May, that Philotimus arrived at Rhodes on the day previous, and had a letter for me. You will hear what Agusius himself has to say: but he is travelling rather slowly. Therefore I have contrived to give this to some one who goes quickly. I don't know what that letter Contains, but my brother Quintus offers me cordial congratulations. For my part, considering my egregious blunder, I cannot even imagine anything happening that can be endurable to me.

I beg you to think about my poor girl, and about what I wrote to you in my last—that some money should be got together to avert destitution, and about the will itself. The other thing also I could have wished that I had done before, but I was afraid of taking any step. The best alternative in a very bad business was a divorce. I should then have behaved something like a man—on the ground either of his proposals for abolition of debts, or his night assaults on houses, or his relations with Metella, or his ill conduct generally: and then I should not have lost the money, and should have shewn myself to possess some manly indignation. I quite remember your letter, but I also remember the circumstance of the time: yet anything would have been better. As it is, indeed, he seems to intend to divorce her: for I am told about the statue of Clodius. ⁵² To think that a son-in-law of mine, of all people in the world, should do that, or propose the abolition of debts! I am of opinion, therefore, and so are you, that a notice of divorce should be sent by her. He will perhaps claim the third instalment. Consider, therefore, whether the divorce should be allowed to originate with him, or whether we should anticipate him. ⁵³ If I can do so by any means, even by travelling at night, I will try to see you. Meanwhile, pray write to me about these matters, and anything else which it may be my interest to know. Good-bye.

CDXXXVI (F XIV, 10)

TO TERENTIA (AT ROME)

BRUNDISIUM, 9 JULY

I wrote my wishes to Pomponius later than I ought to have done If you will have a talk with him, you will learn what they are. There is no need of being more explicit, seeing that I have written to him. On that business and on all others pray let me have a letter from you. Take good care of your health. Good-bye.

⁹ July.

CDXXXVII (F XIV, 13)

TO TERENTIA (AT ROME)

BRUNDISIUM, 10 JULY

In reference to what I said to you in my last about divorcing Tullia's husband, I don't know what force he has at his back at such a time as this, or what power of stirring up the populace. If he can be dangerous when roused to anger, do nothing. But yet it is possible that he will take the first step. ⁵⁴ But you must judge after a review of the whole business, and do what you think least distressing in a most distressing business. Good-bye.

¹⁰ July.