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CDXLI (F XIV, 23)

TO TERENTIA (AT ROME)

BRUNDISIUM, 12 AUGUST

If you are well, I am glad. I am well. At last I have Caesar's letter, and a kind enough one it is. He himself is said to be coming quicker than was thought. When I have made up my mind whether to go to meet him or await him here, I will let you know. I should like you to send letter-carriers at the first opportunity. Take good care of your health. Good-bye.

12 August.

CDXLII (A XI, 20)

TO ATTICUS (AT ROME)

BRUNDISIUM, 15 AUGUST

On the 14th of August Gaius Trebonius arrived from Seleucia Pieria 58 after twenty-seven days' journey, to tell me that at Antioch he saw the younger Quintus in Caesar's company along with Hirtius: that they had got all they wanted in regard to the elder Quintus, and that without any trouble. I should have been more rejoiced at this if the concessions to myself 59 conveyed any certainty of hope. But, in the first place, there are others, and among them Quintus, father and son, from whom I have reason to entertain other fears; and, in the next place, grants made by Caesar himself as absolute master are again within his power to revoke. He has pardoned even Sallustius: he is said to refuse absolutely no one. This in itself suggests the suspicion that judicial investigation is held over for another time. M. Gallius, son of Quintus, has restored Sallustius his slaves. He came to transport the legions to Sicily: he said that Caesar intends to go thither straight from Patrae. 60 If he does that I shall come to some place nearer Rome, which I could wish I had done before. I am eagerly waiting for your answer to my last letter, in which I asked for your advice. 61 Good-bye.

15 August.

CDXLIII (A XI, 21)

TO ATTICUS (AT ROME)

BRUNDISIUM, 25 AUGUST

On the 25th of August I received a letter from you dated the 19th, and I experienced on reading his epistle a very painful renewal of the sorrow which had been long ago caused me by Quintus's misconduct, but which I had by this time shaken off. Though it was impossible for you not to send me that letter, yet I should have preferred that it had not been sent.

In regard to what you say about the will, please consider what should be done and how. In regard to the money, she has herself written in the sense of my previous letter to you, and, if it is necessary, I will draw on the sum you mention.

Caesar does not seem likely to be at Athens by the 1st of September. Many things are said to detain him in Asia, 'above all Pharnaces. 62 The 12th legion, which Sulla 63 visited first, is said to have driven him off with a shower of stones. It is thought that none of the legions will stir. Caesar, people think, will go straight to Sicily from Patrae 64 But if that is so, he must necessarily come here. 65 Yet I should have preferred his going from there; for in that case I should have got away somehow or other. As it is, I fear I must wait for him, and, among other misfortunes, my poor Tullia must also endure the unhealthy climate of the place. You advise me to make my actions square with the time: I would have done so, had circumstances allowed of it, and had it been in any way possible. But in view of the prodigious blunders made by myself, and the wrongs inflicted upon me by my relations, there is no possibility of doing anything or keeping up any pretext worthy of my character. You compare the Sullan period: but, if we regard the principle of that movement, it was everything that was most eminent; where it failed was in a want of moderation in its execution. The present movement, on the other hand, is of such a character, that I forget my own position, and much prefer the general advantage to that of the party, with whose interests I have identified my own. 66 Nevertheless pray write to me as often as possible, and the more so that no one else writes; and yet, if everybody did, I should still look forward to your letters most. You say that Caesar will be more kindly disposed to Quintus thanks to me: I have already told you that he at once granted everything to the younger Quintus and said never a word about me. Goodbye.

CDXLIV (A XI, 22)

TO ATTICUS (AT ROME)

BRUNDISIUM (LATE IN AUGUST)

BALBUS'S letter-carrier delivered me the packet with all promptness. I say this because I have a letter from you in which you seem to fear that I have not received those letters, 67 which in fact I could wish had never been delivered to me. For they increased my misery, and, if they had fallen into anyone else's hands, they would not have inflicted any fresh harm upon me. For what can be more universally notorious than his rage against me and the sort of letter he writes ?-a kind of letter which even Caesar appears to have sent to his friends at Rome, not because he was shocked at his unprincipled conduct, but, I believe, to make my miserable position better known. You say that you are afraid that they will do Quintus harm, and that you are trying to remedy the mischief. Why! Caesar did not even wait to be asked about him. I don't mind that; but what I mind more is that the favours granted to myself have no stability.

Sulla, I believe, will be here tomorrow with Messalla. They are hurrying to Caesar after being driven away by the soldiers, who say that they will go nowhere until they' have got what was promised them. 68 Therefore he will come here, though slowly: for, though he is keeping on the move, he devotes many days to the several towns. 69 Moreover, Pharnaces, whatever course he takes, must cause him delay. 70 What, then, do you think I should do? For by this time I am scarcely strong enough physically to endure the unhealthiness of this climate, because it adds bodily suffering to mental pain. Should I commission these two who are going to him, to make my excuses, and myself go nearer Rome? I beg you to consider it, and as hitherto, in spite of frequent requests, you have declined to do, aid me by your advice. I know that it is a difficult question; but it is a choice of evils, and it is of great importance to me that I should see you. If that could be brought about, I should certainly make some advance. As to the will, 71 as you say, pray attend to

CDXLV (F XIV, 22)

TO TERENTIA (AT ROME)

BRUNDISIUM, I SEPTEMBER

If you are well, I am glad. I am well. I am expecting my letter-carriers any time today. If they come, I shall perhaps learn what I shall have to do, and will at once let you know. Take good care of your health. Good-bye.

1 September.

CDXLVI (F XV, 15)

TO GAIUS CASSIUS (IN ASIA?)

BRUNDISIUM (AUGUST OR EARLY SEPTEMBER)

ALTHOUGH both of us, from a hope of peace and a loathing for Civil bloodshed, desired to hold aloof from an obstinate prosecution of war, nevertheless, since I think I was the first to adopt that policy, I am perhaps more bound to give you satisfaction on that point, than to expect it from you. Although, as I am often wont to recall in my own mind, my intimate talk with you and yours with me led us both to the Conclusion that it was reasonable that, if not the cause as a whole, yet at least our judgment should be decided by the result of one battle. Nor does anyone ever sincerely criticise this opinion of ours, except those who think it better that the constitution should be utterly destroyed, rather than remain in a maimed and weakened state. I, on the Contrary, saw of course no personal hope from its destruction, much from its surviving fragments. But a state of things has followed which makes it more surprising that those events were possible, than that we did not foresee what was going to happen, and were unable with our merely human faculties to prophesy it. For my part, I confess that my view was that, when that battle had been fought, which seemed as it were to be the last word of fate, the conquerors would desire measures to be taken for the safety of the community at large, the conquered for their own. But both of these policies I regarded as depending on the promptness of the victor. If that promptness had been displayed, Africa would have experienced the same indulgence which Asia and Achaia too have witnessed, 72 you yourself, as I think, acting as agent and intercessor. 73 But the hours having been allowed to slip away-always most precious, and never more so than in civil wars—the year that intervened induced some to hope for victory, others to think lightly of the defeat itself. And the blame for all this mischief is on the shoulders of fortune. For who would have thought such a serious delay as that of the Alexandrian war was going to be added to the war already fought, or that a princeling like that Pharnaces of yours was going to cause a panic in Asia.

For ourselves, however, though our policy was the same, our fortune has been different. For you have adopted the rôle of taking an active part in his councils, and of thus keeping yourself in a position to foresee what was going to happen, which more than anything else relieves one's anxiety. 74 I, who was in a hurry to see Caesar in Italy—for that is what I thought would happen-and, when he returned after sparing many of the most honourable men, to "spur the willing horse" (as the phrase goes) in the direction of peace, am now most widely separated from him, and have been so all along. Moreover, I am living in the hearing of the groans of Italy and the most heartrending complaints in Rome: to which we might perhaps have contributed some alleviation, I in my way, you in yours, and everyone in his own, if only the chief man had been there. Wherefore I would have you, in view of your unbroken affection for me, write and tell me what you know, what you feel, and what you think I am to expect or ought to do. A letter from you will be of great value in my eyes, and would that I had obeyed that first one, which you sent me from Luceria! For I should then have retained my position without any of this distress. 75 [Between the date of the last letter to Terentia (1 September) and that of the next (1 October) Caesar had landed at Tarentum, and, meeting Cicero, who was coming to greet him, alighted from his carriage, embraced him, had a long conversation with him on the road, and gave him free leave to live where he chose. Cicero seems to have at once started for his favourite round of visits to his villas, and then gone to Rome. This is the end, then, of the episode in his life connected with the Civil War. Henceforth, till Caesar's assassination, he lives a comparatively retired and literary life, seldom appearing in the senate or as an advocate.]

The Letters, Volume 3

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