Читать книгу Lullaby for Two / Child's Play: Lullaby for Two - Cindi Myers, Cindi Myers - Страница 10

Tessa sat on the closed commode in Vince’s bathroom, cooing to Sean and rocking him. Her hair was soft, fuzzy and damp from the steam, tendrils curling this way and that. Her clothes were damp, too.

Vince didn’t think she’d ever looked more beautiful.

His own shirt was sticking to his skin but he’d been so worried about Sean that he hardly noticed. The baby had stopped coughing and his wheezing didn’t sound as constricted.

“We can’t keep him in here much longer. I’ll run out of hot water. What then?”

“I don’t think we’ll need a trip to the emergency room. Can you go to the drugstore and buy a cool mist humidifier and distilled water? Also, Pedialyte. I want him to drink it so he doesn’t get dehydrated.”

Vince glanced at his watch. It was after nine but he knew the drugstore was open until midnight.

“Oh, and children’s acetaminophen if you don’t have any.”

“Are you going to stay in here until I get back?”

“If your hot water holds out,” she said with a small smile.

He was so tempted to wrap his arms around her and Sean, to tell her how grateful he was for her expertise, for coming when he knew she didn’t want to be here.

Instead, he said, “Thank you, Tessa.”

Her gaze locked onto his for a few seconds—a few seconds of awareness and memories and sizzling attraction that was still there.

But then she looked away and gazed down at Sean. “No thanks necessary.”

Her voice was a bit unsteady.

As Vince climbed into his SUV, he couldn’t keep from envisioning how Tessa had massaged Sean’s little chest and patted him softly on the back when she’d first taken him into the bathroom. She was so good with children.

And she’d never have any of her own.

Vince knew Walter McGuire had blamed him for everything that had happened, from the pregnancy to the quick marriage to the walk-up apartment he and Tessa had lived in, to the condition that had taken their baby and almost Tessa’s life, too. Over the years, Vince had wrestled with his own guilt and attempted to look over that span of time rationally, especially the pain that had come from Tessa choosing to go home with her father from the hospital, rather than with him. Everything that had come after had been born in that decision of hers. And whether he wanted to admit it or not, the pain from her choice still lodged in his heart.

He found what he needed in the drugstore and was home in twenty-five minutes. Home. It wasn’t home yet. Maybe it just needed pictures on the walls in the living room and a few rugs on the floor? That might help. But how long would he and Sean be staying here? If Sean had surgery, how long would recovery take?

Next week he might have that answer.

Now when Vince stepped into his house, something felt…different. Maybe it was the lingering scent of strawberries and vanilla from Tessa’s lotion or whatever she used. That day she’d come to the station, it had wrapped around him and twisted his gut. Or maybe the difference in the condo came from the sight of her medical bag sitting on his dinette table.

But then he was drawn to what really transformed his condo into a home rather than simply the place where he lived. The sound of Tessa’s lovely voice crooning to his son pierced his heart.

He never should have called her tonight. Yet Sean had needed her. What else could he have done?

His training in the Air Force and as a cop had taught him to walk silently unless he wanted to be heard. Setting his purchases quietly to the side of the computer on his desk in the corner of living room, he went down the hall to Sean’s room and stopped just outside the doorway. Tessa’s hair and blouse were still damp. She’d tossed a towel over the back of the rocker and had wrapped Sean in one.

Vince could see his son was sleeping as Tessa rocked and sang, “Baby close your eyes. Dream of puppy dogs and fireflies.”

He didn’t know the song and wondered if she’d made it up herself to sing to her little patients.

He knew he hadn’t made a sound. He’d hardly taken a breath. Yet she glanced up and spotted him as if some sixth sense had told her he was there.

“Is he asleep?” Vince asked though he’d already guessed the answer.

“Yes, he’s breathing easier. The little guy was tuckered out. He drank some apple juice for me. If he wakes up later, he might be sweated. See if he’ll take some of the Pedialyte.”

“Let me get the humidifier going and we’ll see if he’ll sleep in his crib.”

After Vince added the distilled water to the machine and plugged it in, Tessa asked, “Do you have something easy we can put on him so we don’t wake him?”

From the chest of drawers, Vince produced a nightshirt that buttoned down the front and was decorated with baseballs and bats. Tessa carefully unwrapped the towel. Vince slipped one little arm into the sleeve and carefully snuck it around Sean’s shoulders. When he did, the back of his hand grazed Tessa’s breast. She gave a quick inhale of air. They both froze.

He mumbled, “Sorry,” and managed to slip Sean’s good arm into the sleeve without awakening him. Vince’s big fingers fumbled on the snap buttons.

“Would you like me to fasten them?” Tessa asked softly.

He nodded, too close to her to shove his desire aside. He noticed Tessa’s fingers tremble as she fastened the bottom three snaps.

Lifting Sean from her arms, Vince wasn’t thinking about the past and regrets as he settled his son in his crib. The electricity between him and Tessa was alive now and it caught him in its grip. He turned on the night-light, then adjusted the baby monitor to the proper volume.

Tessa came over to stand beside him as he looked down at Sean. “He’s a wonderful little boy.”

Vince thought he heard a catch in her voice. “I should make a tape of that song you were singing for nights when I have trouble getting him to sleep.”

“It’s just something I made up for when I visit the newborns in the nursery.”

“You’re a woman of many talents.”

She smiled. “Believe me, songwriting isn’t one of them.”

He wouldn’t agree but didn’t argue with her. Standing so close to her, he could sense when she shivered. “You really should get out of that blouse. Let me get one of my shirts and I can run yours through the dryer.”

Tessa was never uncertain, but she looked unsure now. “I really should be going.”

“Mrs. Zappa made freshly squeezed orange juice this morning with the juicer. Can I tempt you?” The housekeeper at Arrowhead Ranch used to give Tessa freshly squeezed orange juice every morning.

“You remembered.” Tessa’s blue eyes were wider with surprise.

“I remember a lot of things.”

He could have kissed her then. He could have just bent right down and slid his arms around her. That’s what everything inside him urged him to do. But a kiss right now could damage the fragile thread of understanding forming between them.

After a last glance at Sean, Vince went to his room to find a clean shirt. Fortunately, Mrs. Zappa had ironed a few yesterday.

Away from Tessa, he inhaled a deep breath and took a white oxford, one of many he had because they were so practical, from his closet and carried it back to Sean’s bedroom where she was still watching his baby.

When she took the shirt, he said, “I’ll be in the kitchen pouring orange juice.”

He closed Sean’s bedroom door behind him, giving her the privacy to change…the privacy to think about their lives intersecting again.

A few minutes later, Tessa walked into the kitchen, feeling self-conscious in Vince’s shirt and knowing she shouldn’t. But when they’d been married, she’d sometimes worn one of his shirts with nothing underneath it and that had often led to—

She banished thoughts of their past together. Making sure she’d buttoned Vince’s shirt up to the neck, she told herself once more that there was nothing to be self-conscious about. Still, when Vince’s gaze slowly scanned her, she felt naked. She felt foolish; color crept into her cheeks.

She went to the counter where he had taken a pitcher from the refrigerator. “This housekeeper of yours must be a gem if she squeezes fresh orange juice for you.”

“She is. Already I don’t know what I’d do without her. I think she’s trying to mother me, though, and I don’t know how I feel about that.”

Tessa had never known her mother and in some ways, she believed her loss was easier than Vince’s situation where he’d had a mother one day and the next day he hadn’t. “You could let her do nice things for you. There’s nothing wrong with having parents who care, even at our age.”

As soon as she said it, she knew her words were a mistake.

Vince’s brow creased and he handed her one of the glasses he’d filled.

She took a few sips, not knowing where to take the conversation from there. Her father was definitely a hundredpound gorilla standing between them in the room.

She grasped for an easy topic. “So how do you like being chief of police?”

He shrugged. “It’s okay. I’m pushing around a lot of papers, though. I’m used to being in the thick of things.”

“Fortunately, we don’t have much murder and mayhem in Sagebrush.”

“Fortunately,” he agreed.

That change of subject hadn’t done so well.

The kitchen was furnished as sparsely as the rest of the house. There was a dining area with a table and chairs but it looked as if it was never used. There were no curtains or blinds, no place mats, not even a pad and pencil that said Vince spent some time here. But there was a calendar hanging by a magnet on the refrigerator. She noticed the appointment she’d had with Vince and the one with Dr. Rafferty were marked. Then there was a notation about his meeting at the high school. The rest of the blocks were empty.

She realized Vince hadn’t begun his life here yet.

“I know what you’re thinking,” he said gruffly.

“You’re a mentalist now?” Although her tone was teasing, she remembered all those times years ago when he could read her mind and she could read his. From the moment they’d first spoken to each other, they’d been so in sync.

He didn’t banter back. “You’re thinking a child should be raised in a real home, not just in a condo that’s a place to stay.”

He definitely wasn’t reading her mind tonight. “No, that’s not what I was thinking, Vince. I was thinking you’ve just begun a life here. It will take some time to establish it…if you want to.”

After he studied her thoughtfully, he admitted, “I couldn’t see putting money into rugs and drapes when we might only be here a few months. Except for Sean’s room. I wanted his room to be a special place for him.”

Setting her glass on the counter, she asked, “So you really intend to leave again?”

He set his glass down, too, and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “When I found the specialist in Lubbock, I thought coming back here would be a good idea. Since I was familiar with the area, I was able to get in touch with a couple of friends. I believed Sagebrush would be good for Sean because we wouldn’t be landing in a strange place. But as soon as I drove down Longhorn Way, I thought ‘strange’ might have been better. I have very few happy memories here, Tessa.”

She knew that was true—a mother who’d abandoned him, a father who hadn’t known how to be a father. Vince had had to be the parent. He’d had to pay the bills and work afterschool jobs to keep food on the table. Then when he’d married her, he’d had double the responsibility.

When Vince slipped one hand from his pocket, Tessa knew what he was going to do. She should have grabbed her medical bag and fled. She should have…but she didn’t.

He reached out and brushed her hair from her cheek. His rough skin on hers was as arousing as it always had been. Even back in high school, his hands had been callused from outside work. Trembling, she couldn’t look away from him, couldn’t step back, couldn’t forget what they’d once been to each other.

“Your perfume suits you.” His voice was husky and there was a fire in his eyes that meant he desired her. She could never forget that heat or hunger.

“You shouldn’t…” She couldn’t seem to get out any more words.

“I shouldn’t what? Touch you? We’ve been avoiding each other like we had the plague. I don’t think that has to do with lack of chemistry, but too much of it. It’s still there. Even worried about Sean, I want to feel your skin under my hand.”

He could always do this with words—make her need. He straightened the collar of his shirt around her neck and under her hair as if that were the most natural thing to do. But then his hand slid along her collarbone, his fingers lacing in still-damp strands of her hair.

When Vince’s lips brushed over hers, her breath caught, her heart raced, her stomach twittered. Before she realized what she was doing, she reached for him, too. Her body was reacting as if it knew what was best.

He murmured something against her lips, something like, “I don’t believe this is happening.”

But then she heard nothing but the hum of the refrigerator and concentrated on the sensation of Vince’s lips on hers. He had always been an expert kisser, even at eighteen. Now, there was no finesse about the kiss, no intentional seduction. She felt his deep hunger, felt hers rise up to meet it, welcomed the invasion and sweep of his tongue in her mouth, the press of his body against hers. Old and new, familiar and different, excitement and desire mixed with the thought that what they were doing was taboo…yet she couldn’t remember why.

Suddenly, a baby’s sharp cry penetrated her pleasure. Instinctively her body shut down. She broke the kiss, and Vince pulled back.

He said gruffly, “I have to check on him.”

Of course he did, and she wanted to run into the room with him. Already she cared about this child as she did all her patients. But she stayed put as if she were glued to the spot.

Mechanically she picked up her glass, drank more orange juice and didn’t think about the kiss, didn’t revel in the lingering sensations from it, didn’t wonder why she’d let it happen.

When Vince returned, she was still standing there, counting the tiles along the back of the sink.

“He’s okay,” Vince told her. “He must have cried out in his sleep. Sometimes I wonder if he has dreams about the accident, if he’ll subconsciously remember that forever. Or if he’s so young, it will be wiped away as if it didn’t happen.”

Almost as if she had no control over her thoughts or her voice, she faced Vince. “Why didn’t you contact me after you went away?”

He didn’t seem surprised that she’d slipped back twenty years. His brows furrowed, the nerve in the hollow of his jaw worked and he replied, “You’d gone on with your life. I didn’t want to interfere with that.”

“How did you know I’d gone on with my life?”

“I still had friends back in Sagebrush. My dad was still here. You know how it is.”

She knew how it was and should have realized he’d gotten word of her comings and goings, just as she’d gotten word of his.

He stepped closer to her and rested his hands on her shoulders, sending heat through her once more. “I also didn’t want to put more of a wedge between you and your dad. I saw what it did to you when he disowned you, when he told you that you were no daughter of his. When I left, you were back in his house, back in his life. What would he have done if I’d contacted you?”

“He didn’t have to know,” she replied defiantly. If Vince had asked her to join him anywhere, she would have forgotten about college to build a life with him.

But Vince shook his head. “You never could have kept it from him. I saw how you needed your dad after the hysterectomy.”

His words tore her in two because he still didn’t understand. “I didn’t only need my dad, Vince. I needed you, too. I lost our baby and you weren’t there to talk about it. You weren’t there to…understand.”

Suddenly Vince’s house was claustrophobic. She couldn’t be in the same space he was. She couldn’t breathe. Pulling away from him, she went to the table and grabbed her bag.

“I’ll mail your shirt back to you,” she murmured and hurried to the door.

She practically ran to her car parked at the curb. She didn’t look back at the house to see if he’d followed her outside.

He wouldn’t follow her. He wouldn’t leave Sean. That’s the way it should be.

When she started the ignition and drove away, a mantra played in her mind. You can’t fall in love with him again. You can’t fall in love with him again.

On Saturday morning, Tessa slid a tea bag into a mug of hot water and absently dipped it up and down. All week she’d tried to forget about her kiss with Vince on Monday. When she concentrated on her little patients, she could pretend nothing had happened with him. But it had. She hadn’t wanted to dissect the kiss. Yet she couldn’t set it aside, lock it in a box or think around it.

Francesca, dressed in jeans and oversize T-shirt with the Family Tree symbol stamped on the front, sank onto a stool at the eat-in counter of their kitchen, looking as if she’d been up all night. Her long hair was tousled, and she wore no makeup. That was unusual. Francesca was a perfectionist about almost everything and her appearance was out of character.

“Are you okay?” Tessa asked, picking up her mug and carrying it to the table.

Francesca considered her question. “I don’t know.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Instead of answering, Francesca slid from the stool and went to the coffee Emily had brewed before she left to go grocery shopping. She poured a mug and worried her lower lip.

“What happened?” Tessa prompted.

Her friend took a sip of coffee and grimaced. “No wonder Emily adds milk and sugar. This is strong enough for two pots.”

Turning on the faucet, she added hot water, then crossed to the stool and took a seat once more. “I went to a party last night.”

“That’s right!” Tessa remembered. “It was a reception for Kent Harris to celebrate the opening of his own law firm in Sagebrush. Do you think he snagged many clients?” If she could encourage Francesca to talk, maybe Tessa could discover what was troubling her friend.

“Possibly. There were so many people there that—” She stopped abruptly.

“What?”

Francesca stared down into her coffee.

Worried now, Tessa laid a hand on her housemate’s arm. “What’s troubling you so? Was Darren there and he wants to get back together with you again?”

The reason Francesca had moved to Sagebrush was to be with a man she’d fallen in love with. Darren was also a doctor at Family Tree. He’d met Francesca at a conference, and they’d conducted a long-distance relationship until he’d persuaded her to move to Sagebrush. She had and, for a while, their romance had stayed on an even keel. But when Francesca had moved in with Darren, she’d discovered he wasn’t the man she’d thought he was. He’d taken her moving in as a commitment, the next thing to marriage, and he’d seemed to change before her eyes into the type of controlling man she’d sworn she’d never date, let alone marry.

“Nothing to do with Darren,” Francesca answered her, but then frowned. “Or…maybe it does in a roundabout way.”

She ran her hand through her straight hair and sighed. “Why is it that just when I think I’ve learned from my past, that I’ve finally broken free from the kind of abusive home I grew up in, something happens that tosses me right back there again? Before I could talk, I knew my mother was under my dad’s thumb. When I was little, I learned why when I overheard Mom confiding in a friend, telling her my dad had forced her into marriage when she’d gotten pregnant. After Darren turned out to be controlling just like my dad, I swore off relationships.”

“I know you did. In the year since you’ve broken up with him, you haven’t even gone out on a date.”

“Yeah, well, I slept with a man last night. How is that for jumping into the fire?”

Tessa saw the panicked, troubled look in Francesca’s eyes. “You used protection?”

“Oh, yes, he had a condom.” Francesca sighed again and rubbed her face, then she shook her head. “Honest to goodness, Tessa, I don’t know what happened.”

“You mean he put something in your drink, or—”

“Heavens no.”

Tessa thought it was best if Francesca started from the beginning. “Who is this man?”

“Your dad probably knew his dad. In fact, you might even know him. His name is Grady Fitzgerald. His father was a saddlemaker and now Grady’s taken over the business.”

“Sure, I know him. Vince probably knows him, too. He worked in his dad’s saddle shop when we were married, though Grady was away at school then. My dad bought my first saddle from Mr. Fitzgerald and Grady delivered it to the ranch.”

“What was Grady like?”

“From what I remember, he wasn’t a joiner. Lots of girls had a crush on him but he seemed immune. He comes from a big family. He was a good rider and that’s probably why he’s so good at saddle making. He understands what the horse and rider need to be comfortable.”

Since Francesca was listening with avid interest, Tessa asked, “Are you going to see him again?”

She shook her head adamantly. “No.”

“Why not?”

“Because we’re very different people. We talked for a long time, Tessa, and I realized how different we were while we were talking.”

“Different how?”

“My career and the babies I treat mean everything to me. You know that. I’m on call more often than not, and I’d never say no when a baby’s in distress. It’s my life. Grady’s business is just a part of his life. He spends a lot of time with his family. Family has never done anything but hurt me…from my father’s abuse to my mom’s fear. I always felt I had to take care of my mom because she couldn’t take care of herself.”

Soon after Francesca and Tessa had become friends, she’d learned her story. Francesca had revealed that her mother had finally left her husband after he’d attacked Francesca when she was eight. But the years of being in the house with him, under the same roof, knowing he could control her mother because she was afraid of him, had scarred Francesca deeply. Her mother had died a few years ago from lung cancer and Francesca had once confided she felt like an orphan.

Now Tessa reassured her friend, “You have us. Me and Emily. You know you can count on us.”

“I know I can. But that’s different from what Grady has. He’s used to being part of a bigger picture. I’m used to being on my own. And it’s not just that. Grady’s about seven years older than me…in his midforties. He wants to stay in Sagebrush the rest of his life. You know I’m thinking about applying to Doctors Without Borders and seeing more of the world.”

Tessa let silence settle in for a few seconds. “So what’s the real reason you don’t want to see Grady again, in spite of all these differences?”

After a long moment, Francesca replied, “Exactly because I knew we were very different and something still happened. I was so attracted to him that differences didn’t matter and all we had was this…heat!” Francesca shook her head. “Besides, I’m not ready for a relationship. It hasn’t been that long since Darren.”

“It’s been a year.”

“It doesn’t seem like very long, and let’s face it, Tessa. I don’t trust men—not with my history with my dad and then not with Darren turning into somebody I didn’t know. He was so charming before I moved in with him, then he became controlling and manipulative and everything I didn’t want in a man.”

“You made a mistake.”

“Yeah, a big one. Apparently I was attracted to what I was trying to run away from. I can’t take the chance that that’s going to happen again.”

Tessa knew all about being afraid of making the same mistake twice.

The doorbell rang and Francesca’s eyebrows raised. “Are you expecting someone?”

“No, how about you?”

Francesca shook her head.

Before Tessa went to answer the door, she suggested, “Maybe it’s Grady.”

That comment drew Francesca through the living room into the foyer after her. But when Tessa opened the door, she didn’t find Grady Fitzgerald. She found Vince with Sean in his arms and a bag in his hand. She couldn’t have been more surprised.

Obviously seeing that, he explained, “We had our physical therapy with Carly Brennan this morning. She could fit us in first. It went really well. I just wanted to return your blouse and tell you how grateful I was for your recommendation.” He handed her the bag.

She’d mailed Vince’s shirt back to him the morning after their kiss. With Francesca almost hovering over her shoulder out of curiosity, Tessa said, “Why don’t you come in. Vince, this is one of my housemates, Francesca Talbot. Francesca, Vince Rossi.” The two shook hands as Tessa smiled at Sean, who seemed to be in robust health again. “How are you this morning? So you liked Carly, huh?”

Sean waved his left arm, tried to sit up against Vince’s chest and talked the baby syllables he knew best.

“He’s adorable,” Francesca cooed, always interested in babies. “Will he come to me?”

“He might,” Vince said. “He’s not shy of strangers.”

Tessa wanted to hold Sean, too, play with his little fingers and toes, brush his wisps of hair. But she knew she had to keep her distance. She couldn’t become involved with this baby any more than his father.

Francesca held out her hands to Sean and he went to her without any fuss. “I’ll take him out back to the yard. There’s a lot to look at out there.”

Sean seemed content with Francesca and didn’t even look back at his dad as she carried him away.

“She’s good with kids,” Vince observed, watching Francesca as she talked to Sean and he happily babbled back.

“She’s a neonatologist. She fills her life with helping newborns.” Then remembering ingrained manners, Tessa asked, “Coffee?”

“I had two cups while I was waiting for Sean. I think that’s enough for now.”

Tessa motioned to the sofa and Vince lowered himself to it. After setting the bag with her blouse on the end table, she sank down beside him, then realized she shouldn’t have. Their elbows were almost brushing. She turned sideways a bit but then her knee grazed his. Neither of them moved away. “Did Carly let you stay for the session?”

“Some of it. She spent a long while just making sure Sean was comfortable with her.”

“I understand that’s what she’s good at. She needs her patient’s cooperation and she usually gets it.”

Silence fell between them and when Tessa glanced at Vince, she felt all twittery inside.

“You look as if you’re going to jump up and fly away,” he remarked in a dry tone.

She made herself consciously relax and settle back into the sofa cushion. There was about a half inch of space between them and she was thankful for that, at least. She couldn’t move farther away without seeming too obvious.

“I feel like a teenager again,” he muttered, stepping into the void between them.

“Why?”

“I don’t know what to say or do with you, Tessa. At least when we were teenagers, I didn’t get the feeling you’d rather be anywhere else than sitting next to me.”

“That’s not the case,” she admitted, then wished she hadn’t.

His eyes darkened with memories and, gazing at him, she felt the old sizzle, the old pulsing awareness, yet something new, too. Still, she protested, “We’re not teenagers anymore. We’re old enough to know what’s right for us and what isn’t, what’s good for our lives and what isn’t.”

“Maybe we’re fighting too hard not to remember, fighting too hard not to regret. We can’t deny what we had, what happened. Don’t you think we can get past it? I can’t live in a vacuum while I’m here, Tessa. And Sean needs people around him who care about him.”

“Maybe I don’t want to care about Sean,” she confided. “Maybe it hurts too much.”

“Tessa,” he said gently, reaching out and touching her face, just like he used to when he was trying to comfort or console her. Her instinct was to back away, yet her heart was telling her not to move.

Could they move beyond the past?

“I came over to do more than thank you.” Vince dropped his hand. “Remember I said I was in touch with Ryder Greystone?”

“Yes, you said he’s on the Lubbock P.D.”

“He’s having a party tonight and invited me. He told me I could bring a guest. Would you like to go?”

Could she become friends with Vince? Could she get to the point where being together with him again was natural, not awkward? If he was going to be around town, she probably would see him and after all, Sean was her patient. But going to a party with him?

“Would this be a date?” she asked cautiously.

He tossed her a wry smile. “It would be whatever you want it to be.”

“Can I think about it and call you in a couple of hours?” She saw his frown. “Unless you’re going to ask someone else if I say no.”

“No. I’m not going to ask anyone else. A couple of hours will be fine.” After a look at her that told her better than words he was thinking about kissing her, he stood. “I’d better get Sean and take him home for lunch.”

As Vince turned to head toward the kitchen, Tessa clasped his forearm. “I don’t want to jump into anything I’ll regret.”

“I understand, Tessa, believe me I do. But it’s just a party. We’re simply going as friends. There doesn’t have to be more to it than that.”

Maybe that was true for Vince, but it wasn’t true for her. If she went to this party, she’d be saying “yes” to letting him back into her life. Would that be a foolish decision or a mature one?

She needed a few hours to figure it out.