Читать книгу Lullaby for Two / Child's Play: Lullaby for Two - Cindi Myers, Cindi Myers - Страница 12

On Friday afternoon, Tessa was between patients at her office when the receptionist peeked around the inner door. “You received a call from Vince Rossi. He asked if you’d phone him at your earliest convenience.”

Tessa knew Vince wouldn’t call without a good reason. He would just leave a message on her home phone if he wanted to…invite her to another party? Talk? Try to finish something that would never have an end?

No, if Vince was calling her here, he had word on Sean.

Taking out her cell phone, she slipped into her office and shut the door. His number was one of the few on her call list. She hit Send and waited.

He picked up on the second ring. Without preamble, he said, “Dr. Rafferty believes surgery will give Sean full use of his arm.”

“That’s wonderful! How soon does he want to do the surgery?”

“Next Tuesday—early.”

Vince didn’t sound overjoyed or relieved, and she guessed why. At his continued silence, she asked, “Vince?”

“He’s only seven and a half months old, Tessa. The idea of anesthesia scares me as much as the possibility that surgery might not go well.”

She understood his concerns, but she also knew Vince needed to stay as optimistic as possible for Sean’s sake. “Don’t borrow trouble. Dr. Rafferty’s one of the best. You’ve got to be positive about this and not let Sean feel your fear.”

He was quiet for a moment, then asked, “And just how am I supposed to keep from worrying?”

She knew Vince would never admit he was afraid. “You can worry, just don’t let it show. Think about Sean catching a baseball, throwing a pass, lifting a fork with his right hand. See those pictures in your mind and don’t let go of them.”

“Is that how you get through the tough times? You imagine good outcomes?”

“As often as I can.”

“You would have made a good cheerleader,” Vince joked.

“I wanted to try out, but…” She stopped, not delving into that territory.

“But your dad wouldn’t let you because of the short skirts?” Vince guessed.

“Something like that. I think he was more afraid I’d climb to the top of one of those pyramids and then break something. You can’t let your concerns hold Sean back.”

“I know that. Right now I’m trying to decide whether or not I should tell his great-aunt that the surgery is scheduled. I could just wait until it’s all over.”

“Wouldn’t you want to know?”

“I’m not sure. I can save her worry if I call her after the fact to tell her it was successful.”

“On the other hand…”

“On the other hand, Janet is his only living relative. She deserves to know what’s happening with him,” he admitted to himself and to her.

Caring about both Vince and Sean in spite of the warnings she’d given herself, Tessa offered, “Would you like me to come to the hospital Tuesday morning? I have office hours in the afternoon and evening.”

“Only if you want to.”

Want to. Need to.

Tessa wasn’t sure what was going on with her and Vince, what was in the past and what was in the present. But from her experience as a pediatrician, she knew how parents felt when their children went to surgery. They usually had family support. Vince and Sean were alone.

“I’ll find you after rounds.”

“I’ll understand if you get tied up, Tessa.”

When she closed her phone, she knew she was getting involved again. She couldn’t help herself. But she’d make sure her defenses were firmly in place. She’d make sure she kept her heart safe.

Vince was determined to stay by his son’s side while the nurses prepared him for surgery. For the most part, they let him. He touched Sean often—a hand on top of his head, fingers stroking his baby arm, his expression as calm and serene as he could make it for his son. For a while, he had no idea that Tessa was standing in the doorway watching him, but when he looked up, there she was.

She was all business today, in green linen slacks, a cream blouse, with a white lab coat over it all. A little of his attention slipped from Sean to her. She made his heart jump, damn it.

Tessa crossed the room and stood beside Vince, smiling at the nurse who was putting a little paper cap on Sean’s head.

“They have to take him now,” she murmured to Vince, meeting his eyes.

Had Tessa known how very difficult this moment would be? Vince wrapped his fingers around Sean’s little hand. Tessa must have understood his sudden panic because her expression was full of empathy.

“Trust Dr. Rafferty,” she encouraged him.

“This isn’t just about putting my trust in a surgeon,” Vince returned in a low voice. “It’s about Sean being separated from me, the one anchor he’s got in this world right now. It’s about any pain he might experience. If I could go through this instead of him, don’t you think I would?”

As his gaze held Tessa’s, so many emotions rushed through him. Even though they’d been teenagers at the time, they’d known each other as intimately as a man and woman could. That intimate knowing was still there whether or not either of them wanted to admit it.

Tessa succumbed to it as she stepped closer and clasped his arm. “You have to see the outcome in your mind. You have to believe Sean will handle surgery easily, heal quickly and have use of his arm for years to come. Concentrate on that, not on the rest.”

When she released his arm, Vince wondered if he’d deluded himself about a bond between them. Tessa must have given this same speech to countless parents. “This is old hat for you, isn’t it?”

A shadow of vulnerability passed over her face. “Never. Believe me, Vince. Seeing one of my patients go into surgery is never easy and it never ‘doesn’t matter.’”

“You’ll burn out, caring so much,” he predicted, again pushing away pictures of the shy seventeen-year-old she’d once been.

“You mean I’ll burn out if I don’t stop caring, so I should detach myself and walk away? I can never be that kind of doctor. For me to help people, compassion is as important as skill. And I’m not so different from Francesca and any other doctors who work at Family Tree and in this hospital.”

The nurse, also wearing a paper cap and scrubs, said to Vince, “I have to take him now.”

Vince knew this wasn’t life-and-death surgery, but he also knew anything could go wrong. He concentrated on the picture of Sean throwing a baseball, touched his son’s cheek, whispered to him, “I love you. I’ll see you soon,” and then stepped back from the gurney.

Tessa gently touched Sean’s cheek.

As the nurse pushed the gurney down the hall, Vince balled his hands into fists and all of his control held him back from running after the stretcher.

Tessa touched him lightly on the shoulder. “Come on. Let’s get some coffee.”

Vince focused on her, thinking coffee was the last thing he needed. His stomach was burning with worry.

Then she made another suggestion.

“Or we could go to the chapel.”

“I was in a church for Scott and Carol’s funeral. That was the first time since I was a kid. My next-door neighbor had taken me when I was around eleven.”

“It’s a place to find peace and comfort,” she offered in a quiet voice that wasn’t coaxing but rather sure.

“Do you still go to church?” She had when they were teenagers.

“Yes, I do. Every Sunday. The same church I was christened in.”

How had they ever gotten together with their different backgrounds, with their opposite lifestyles? “All right,” he agreed. “We can try the chapel, but I doubt if I’ll worry any less while we’re there.”

Ten minutes later, they were seated in the pews and Vince didn’t know what he was supposed to do. He glanced at Tessa and saw she had folded her hands in her lap and her eyes were closed.

If he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, maybe he could relax…if nothing else. He tried it but without much success.

Tessa must have sensed his restlessness. “Do you ever just go outside at night and look up at the sky and feel the…immensity of everything?” she asked softly.

He knew what she was getting at. “I think that’s why I stayed in Albuquerque. The sky there—during the day and at night—just seems to lift you up. The cliffs and the mountains even more. Sometimes I’d just stop by the side of the road, get out of the car and stand there in the sun looking into the sky, or into…I don’t know, something much bigger than me.”

“Can you think about that now? Can you think about the best for Sean and you?”

“Are you saying that’s praying?”

“Yes, I think it is.”

Their shoulders were touching, and so were their hips and thighs. But at the moment, he wasn’t revved up because he desired Tessa. He was revved up because this closeness, this talking about something as intimate as prayer seemed so right. Tessa amazed him. There was always a deeper place he could go with her, where he could always find what he needed.

He did as she suggested and, in a while, realized his breathing had slowed. Hope for Sean’s future drove the fear from him.

After a while, they both sat back and he covered her hand with his. “Thanks for being here.”

She gazed at him but said nothing. He knew that was best. They were just here in the moment and that’s the way it had to be.

Dr. Rafferty was somber as he stepped into the waiting room later Tuesday morning after Sean’s surgery.

Vince stood immediately, Tessa close beside him. He was grateful she’d gotten him through this three-and-a-half-hour waiting time by talking about Sean, pulling stories from Vince about his stint in the Air Force, relating how she and Francesca and Emily had met and lived in a house together. She’d kept conversation rolling to keep him from thinking.

Now, with her elbow brushing his arm, he felt Sean had two champions no matter what happened.

The surgeon strode to Vince and nodded. “The nerve reconstruction surgery went well. I also removed scar tissue that had been blocking nerve signals. I believe Sean will be one of the fortunate ones, if you’re willing to be patient.”

“I can be patient,” Vince assured the doctor with rough emotion in his voice.

“What will be the recuperation time?” Tessa asked.

“His arm will be in a soft sling for about three weeks. Then he can start physical therapy. But we won’t see results for four to six months and it could be years until he has full use of his arm.”

“Can we see him?” Vince asked, needing to know his son was really okay.

“You’ll be able to see him in recovery in about a half hour. After he’s alert and his vitals are good, we’ll settle him in a room.”

A short time later they were standing by Sean’s crib. Tessa crouched down on one side and murmured to the little boy. Sean responded with a smile and a babble.

“What did you tell him?” Vince asked.

“That he’s the best little boy in the whole world.”

Vince crouched down at his son’s other side and Sean turned his face to his dad. “We’re just going to treat this like a great adventure. ou won’t be alone from now on, cowboy. I’m staying here with you tonight. We’ll be together until you come home.”

Vince couldn’t tell if Sean understood or not, but his son reached for Vince’s hand.

Tessa stood gazing at both of them. “I’m glad you’re staying tonight. Sean will feel safe and protected…and loved.”

“I hope so. Sometimes it’s easier to know the right thing to do than at other times.”

Tessa’s and Vince’s gazes locked.

The beeping of the automatic blood pressure monitor interrupted the sweep of memories that always seemed to suck them in.

The sound gave Tessa the opportunity to turn away and check her watch. “I’d better go. If I start office hours on time, I might finish at a decent time. When I get finished, would you like me to bring you takeout?”

“That would be great. I probably won’t want to leave him.”

“I can imagine what you’re feeling, Vince, but when Sean naps, take a break. You need to take care of yourself, too.”

He was staring at her over his son’s crib, thinking about the two of them together…the two of them taking care of Sean together. Was that too crazy to hope for?

“Do you care if I take care of myself, Tessa? Do you care about Sean’s outcome as more than his doctor?”

They were in a corner of the recovery room with medical personnel stationed at the other end.

“Vince, this isn’t the place—”

“Isn’t it?”

Her eyes were wide with a vulnerability she rarely showed him.

“I care about you and Sean. Maybe too much.”

Tessa believed those were the words he needed to hear right now. Her denial had ended because they were true. Maybe after this crisis, they could figure out how involved they were going to be in each other’s lives.

Tessa peeked into Sean’s hospital room at nine o’clock that night, gripping two take-out bags. Vince had pulled a chair over to the crib and laid his hand on his son’s arm. The tableau touched Tessa deeply and she gripped the bags a little tighter. Just what had she admitted to Vince this afternoon? What had he deduced from it?

She entered the baby’s room now and spotted the recliner that had been rolled in so Vince could stay the night. He was unaware of her presence until she tapped him on the shoulder.

He went still for a moment, then rose from the chair. “I’m losing my instincts,” he said gruffly. “I should have sensed you coming.”

“All of your attention is on Sean. I can understand why you didn’t.”

He shook his head. “That’s no excuse.” He inhaled deeply and smiled at the bags in her hand. “Is that food?”

She grinned back. “I don’t know what’s going to happen if you eat enchiladas this time of night, but I know they’re your favorite. At least they used to be. You haven’t sworn off of them, have you?”

He laughed. “No.”

Handing Vince the bags, she went to the crib and looked down at the baby. “Has he been awake?”

“On and off. He fell back to sleep a little while ago. He’s been through a lot. I’m just grateful Rafferty thinks the surgery was successful.”

“Remember, the improvement will happen slowly.”

“I know. I’ll be patient about it. I have no choice.”

Tessa was close to Vince and she liked the sensation of her shoulder bumping his. Vince had always made her feel safe and protected and cared for. Until—

Until he’d been silent and uncommunicative when he’d visited her in the hospital. Until he hadn’t objected to her going home with her father.

She couldn’t help but lean over Sean and whisper in his little ear, “I hope you’re having sweet dreams, baby. You deserve good dreams from here on out.”

Tessa could feel Vince’s gaze on her and she swallowed hard. Turning toward him, she said, “I’m sorry I’m so late. I had an emergency and then patients got backed up.”

“You don’t have to apologize, Tessa. You don’t even have to be here.” He raked his hand through his hair. “Sorry, that didn’t come out the way it should have. I just mean…I cornered you in the recovery room today. I’m surprised you came back.”

She admitted she cared about him, but she wasn’t going to tell him she couldn’t keep away. “Come on, let’s eat. There’s a taco salad there for me.”

With a vinyl chair pulled near the recliner, they ate in the dimly lit room, the hospital noises outside the door seeming far away. A nurse came in to check on Sean and then departed once more.

After Vince had downed the enchiladas and half of his soda, he said, “I’ll probably take Sean home late afternoon tomorrow. In the morning, the physical therapist is going to show me exercises for his wrist and thumb and fingers. It will be a few weeks before we can do anything with his shoulder.”

“Are you nervous about taking him home?”

“Not nervous. Just concerned he’ll need something and I won’t understand what it is.”

“Would you like me to come over tomorrow evening? I could just check and make sure everything’s okay.”

Vince studied her for a long time.

“What?”

“I’m going to owe you a few Texas T-bone dinners or a room full of flowers when this is all done.”

“You don’t owe me anything.”

Again he was silent for a few moments, then he asked, “Will you answer a question for me?”

“Maybe. It depends on the question.”

He shook his head and chuckled. “I should have known.” Then he sobered. “You said you care about me and Sean. Is that why you’re here?”

“Does it matter? I help friends, Vince, and they help me. That’s the way small towns work. You know that.”

“Maybe I’d forgotten, or maybe I just never experienced small-town life the way you have. When my dad was passed out on the living room floor, I don’t remember anybody helping.”

She imagined him as a young boy, in a situation much too complicated for him to figure out on his own. “Did you ever ask for help?”

“Hell no! It was a matter of pride for both me and Dad.”

“So why are you accepting my help now?”

His expression changed, going from serious to much lighter. “Because you have great taste in restaurants,” he joked, pointing to the crumpled bags on the floor beside his chair.

“Vince.”

With a sigh, he ran his hand through his already disheveled hair. “I knew you wouldn’t let that pass,” he grumbled. Finally he admitted, “I’m not sure. Probably because you care about Sean. You care about babies and you know what you’re doing. Since you’re a doctor, Sean needs you to watch out for him. I’ll never deprive him of that, pride or no pride. I guess I’m learning that by being a parent, I can’t let anything stand in the way of what’s best for him.”

She knew that was the right answer, but maybe she’d wanted a different answer. Maybe she’d wanted him to say that he still felt connected to her on some level. Maybe she’d wanted him to admit that whatever was between them so many years ago wasn’t yet finished. Heck, she’d just admitted that to herself after their last kiss. She hadn’t wanted to consider it before. Denial was a great wall that could keep worries and complications at bay. The problem was—it was a wall that always crumbled.

Right now she was tired, not just physically tired, but emotionally drained. She’d worried along with Vince this morning and she knew she was becoming entirely too invested in Sean’s welfare, not to mention Vince’s life. But that would soon end. Sean would be recuperating and then Vince would be leaving. So if she wanted to play Good Samaritan or friend, there was no harm in that.

She wasn’t involved with Vince.

Her salad only half-eaten, she settled the lid on it and stuffed it into the bag.

“That wasn’t much of a supper,” he scolded.

“It was enough. I’ve got to get going or Francesca and Emily will send out the search dogs.”

“They don’t know where you are?”

“Not exactly. I just told them I wouldn’t be home until late.”

After Vince pushed himself up from the recliner, he took his empty bag and dumped it in the trash can. “Are you taking that home to finish it?”

When she shook her head, he took the bag from her and tossed it into the can on top of his.

“If you had your choice, which would you pick? Flowers or the steak dinner?” he joked.

She rolled her eyes.

“Humor me.”

Would she choose the safety of flowers, or the complication of a dinner with Vince? That’s what he was really asking, wasn’t it?

“I like flowers,” she decided, taking the safe route.

“That’s good to know.” His gaze was trying to turn her inside out. Before it did, she moved toward the door.

She stopped before exiting the room. “You can call my office tomorrow and let me know when you’re home. I’ll be there until after five.”

“Will do.”

The light was too dim to read his expression.

As she murmured, “I’ll see you tomorrow,” and left the room, she heard him call, “Drive safely.”

She had taken safe roads up to this point in her life. Were safe roads really what she wanted?

That was a question better left unanswered for now. That was a question that was better left unanswered until after Vince left Sagebrush.

When Tessa arrived at Vince’s condo around seven o’clock, Mrs. Zappa was still fussing in the kitchen. The housekeeper had opened the door to Tessa and exclaimed, “Maybe you can make him eat!”

Tessa wasn’t sure if Mrs. Zappa was talking about Vince or Sean. In fact, she’d never been introduced to the housekeeper and wondered how Mrs. Zappa knew who she was. “I don’t think we’ve met,” she began.

“Oh, I know who you are. You’re Walter McGuire’s daughter and you were once married to Vince.” Conspiratorially, she leaned toward Tessa. “I’ve never told him I know, but I do.”

Tessa had to smile in spite of herself. “Do you think he’d be uncomfortable if he knew you knew?”

“You know men. They like to keep their life private. If he wants to do that, it’s fine with me. I’m not going to poke where I’m not wanted. He only let go of that boy to get a shower since he brought him home from the hospital, and now he’s holding him again. Vince needs to take care of himself, too. The casserole’s still in the oven. It’s going to be dry as toast if he doesn’t eat it soon.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Tessa assured her. “How is Sean?”

“From what I can tell, that little boy is doing fine. He ate his supper.”

Tessa laughed. “That is a good sign.”

Mrs. Zappa moved toward the door. “It was good to meet you, Dr. McGuire.”

“It was good to meet you, too, but please call me Tessa.”

“And you can call me Rhonda.” She gave a last wave and left.

Moments later, Tessa was standing outside Sean’s room. A small CD player on top of the chest played soothing music. Vince was sitting in the rocking chair with Sean asleep in his arms. He was looking down at his son as if he never wanted to look away.

“How’s he doing?” she asked softly.

Vince gently touched the sling on Sean’s arm. “As long as I talk to him and play with him, he’s not fussy. I guess it distracts him from any discomfort he’s having.”

“Rhonda says you need to eat your supper. Now would be a good time if Sean’s asleep, don’t you think?”

“Rhonda?”

“Mrs. Zappa. She told me I could call her Rhonda.”

He frowned. “Yeah, that was the name on her application. I’ve just never used it.” Standing with Sean in his arms, he carried him over to the crib and gently laid him down. “I hate to leave him. I don’t want him to wake up and be afraid, or think he’s still in the hospital.”

“You’ll hear him on the baby monitor if he cries. You’ve got to give yourself a breather, Vince. Have you even slept in the past two days?”

“I got a few hours’ sleep the night before surgery, and again last night.”

“In a recliner in Sean’s room.”

“It was comfortable.”

“Has anyone ever told you your stubborn determination can be frustrating?”

He smiled at her. “I’ve always considered it one of my better traits.”

When he smiled like that, she felt butterflies flutter in almost every part of her body. She was only here to help him with Sean. “I haven’t had supper, either. We can share Rhonda’s casserole.”

Tessa decided to serve their meal on the coffee table in the living room because Vince needed to relax. Maybe he would if the atmosphere was casual enough.

When he came into the living room and saw the two steaming plates, he admitted, “I think I am hungry. I had a sandwich from the cafeteria but that was a long time ago.”

“This looks great.”

Vince sat beside Tessa and dug his fork into the casserole.

They ate in silence for a few minutes until Tessa asked, “Are you going to work tomorrow?”

“I’m going in late. That way I can make sure everything’s okay with Sean and Mrs. Zappa—Rhonda—before I leave. I’ll stay late if I call home and everything’s okay.”

“You’re not going to call her every hour, are you?”

He gave Tessa a sideways glance. “How did you guess?” Then he smiled. “No, I’m not going to call every hour. I trust her. The doctor said the incision on Sean’s shoulder and the one on his leg looked good. I changed the dressings and Sean didn’t seem to mind too much.”