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8

THE OWNER OF A BAR

Let’s say you own a bar in North Dakota.

I choose North Dakota because of the North Dakota Theory. As conspiracy theories go, it is one of my favorites. You see, North Dakota does not exist. “But I’ve seen it on a map, it’s definitely there!” Oh, you sad, naive rube. Ask yourself this… Have you ever been to North Dakota? Have you ever met anyone from North Dakota? Then how do you really know for sure that it exists?

Since it does not exist, and therefore I cannot offend anyone from there… Let’s say you own a bar in North Dakota. Not many trivia companies operate in your neck of the woods, but a trivia night is one of the best things that you can do to bring in customers on a weeknight. A while ago, you tried to write the questions yourself, and it went okay for a while, but you are busy running a bar. You do not have time to worry about writing trivia questions, so you stopped asking questions and the people stopped coming.

Here is what you do: Each chapter of this book is its own trivia night. You can ask the questions for each of the five rounds for each night. I’ve even added in my patented sense of humor on each page. Between question rounds, we have our puzzle, picture, fill-in-the-blank, and music rounds. Just hold the book open on a copier and make as many copies as you need for the night. When your trivia night grows so big you don’t have time to make copies and prep everything yourself, go to iHeartCityTrivia.com and you can order a packet that will come in the mail, ready for as many teams as you need.

A PERSON WHO HAS NO FRIENDS

We can fix this for you. Trivia night at bars is a great place to meet new people and start making friends. Here is what you need to do: Open this book up to Chapter 1 and start memorizing questions. The more you know, the more valuable you will be to a team. You are a great person and soon will have more friends than you know what to do with. The good news is that, no matter what happens, you are improved by now having at your command a bevy of interesting facts and answers to even the most mundane of trivia questions. Unfortunately, friends are a pain in the ass. Get ready to try and coordinate your schedule with many other people, most of whom will not respond to your texts or return your phone calls. They are busy with their own stuff and they cannot be bothered to respond in a