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Chapter Four

The following week the support group came together again, eager to hear more about the mind-game playing belittlers of Terraprima. Collin resumed the story immediately after the usual good evening courtesies.

“This evening” he began, “we will have more incidents pertaining to the life of the Lawtons in their congregation in Terraprima; the continued belittling of the ministry described as excellent and superior that Durwin was giving them regardless, and as he did, the attempts at belittling becoming more openly offensive, as opposed to that of a hitherto more passive belittling.

“I mentioned previously that the church landscaping hadn’t been well cared for, and that it was a part of Durwin’s general plan for the church to improve it. He asked for a Saturday morning work bee to do so. Several people turned up for it. Durwin and Canda were very much accustomed to such work. They brought along some tools among which was a full size bow or buck saw to use for cutting off the large lower limbs of big trees in the vacant lot.

“One of the men, using the saw, began to cut off a limb about two to three inches in diameter. He had to reach up to that limb with the saw. Consequently he sawed into it from its side rather than its top. About two thirds of the way through, the weight of the limb caused it to snap at the saw mark, but only partly. The result was the saw blade was critically jammed in the cut. Durwin saw the predicament and the possibility of the saw blade being broken.

“It became obvious as the man twisted frantically to free the blade, that he was not used to this kind of work. Durwin rushed to his aid. ‘Hold it,’ said Durwin calmly and helpfully, ‘you have to push that limb back up into its original place before you can get the saw out without breaking the blade. The man’s face immediately grew somber with the corners of his mouth dropping noticeably as though Durwin had done him some grave injustice.

“One would think I had shot his very dear mother, thought Durwin as he saw the man’s face so distraught. Then he quickly said to the man in as relaxed a manner as he could under the tension, ‘well I guess I know these things because I grew up with lots of forest around me. It was a part of our growing up to learn the techniques of things like this such as they are.’

“The man’s countenance did not change an iota. Durwin immediately added, ‘I guess you can teach me lots of things you learned in the environment in which you grew up.’

“Still there was no change in the man’s face. Durwin grabbed a rake, pushed up the limb which in turn freed the saw blade. The man pulled the saw down, handed it to Durwin and walked away, far too proud and oversensitive to handle such a situation rationally. He never worked with the saw or near Durwin for the remainder of the day.

“But there was a lot of good work done that day. Durwin and Canda did much of it, because as I said, they were accustomed to that kind of work. Some people appreciated it. However, the mood of the man who tried to work with the saw spread through a portion of the work team. It would be hard to get them back again to continue and finish that particular job of tidying the landscape. In fact it would prove impossible with some of them. Later, much later, Durwin and Canda would continue the job themselves, much to their own detriment. I will tell you the details later. For now I wish to point out how sensitive was the pride of these people.”

“Hollow, undisciplined pride again,” remarked Donna Coyne. “Hollow, but with a stubborn enough crust not to let anything new enter into their minds.”

“Childish enough not to let anyone be superior even in such a little way as cutting a limb off a tree,” added Gilda Emerson.

“And to think,” said Albin Anders, “that a psychiatrist tried to tell me I was too sensitive to the slights of other people. What about the sensitivity of these people?”

“Right you are, Albin,” said Collin. “You remember that in future if someone tries to make you believe you are too sensitive to a few slights from belittlers. The slights are many, and often so subtle they can hardly be described. They are even sometimes hard to decipher from things that well meaning people say and do to you. These subtle slights are delivered by people so sensitive that the least little thing will trigger off their pride and envy and all the harm they can inflict because of it.”

“Well taken,” said Albin confidently.

“But be sure, Albin,” Collin cautioned, “to learn and practice discerning the well meant remarks and overtures of good people from the often subtle, sly, underhanded belittlements of those who mean to bring you down. We all make mistakes in this. It isn’t always easy. But a true friend will make allowances for mistakes of that kind, especially after you have yourself recognized it.”

“Thanks Collin,” said Albin appreciatively, “that’s very helpful.”

“You’re very welcome, Albin, and now let’s get on with the story,” said Collin. “One day Durwin received a telephone call from the chairperson of the board of a large not-for-profit community organization that did some of their work with the cooperation of the churches. This chairperson asked Durwin if he would serve as a member of the board of directors of the organization. Durwin was still feeling new to the situation and wanted to please his church board to whatever degree possible without losing his own personhood. So he told the man he would talk it over with the appropriate committee of his church.

“When he next met with the committee whose duty it was to assist the minister to plan his work and priorities, he brought the matter before them. They stalled and avoided a decision on it. They said they would think it over and let him know at the next meeting. At the next meeting they told him they had decided he shouldn’t accept the position. There might be a conflict of interest with the church.”

Gilda interrupted the story. “So they made their decision between meetings and away from Durwin’s presence did they?”

“Yes, they did,” replied Collin, “and Durwin wasn’t ready to quarrel with them or put them in their place yet. So he dropped the matter and informed the chairperson of the organization that he wouldn’t be accepting the position.”

“Too bad,” said Gilda, “I think he should have gone ahead.”

“Well,” said Brett Culver, “I think he shouldn’t have even consulted the committee on it.”

“I know how you can feel that way folks,” responded Collin, “but a minister’s life and work is supposed to be supported and helped by committees and boards. Durwin thought at the time they would support him on it. It would have been a good thing for the church to have its minister serving in the community. In hind-sight he later realized he should have gone ahead with it without asking. But take note that before a year was up, several of the church committee members were serving on the board of that same organization.”

“Ha, Ha,” said Leo, laughingly, “no conflict of interest with the church now.”

“Not a bit,” said Collin disgustedly, “but to them it now meant they had outsmarted Durwin and were superior to him again. However, before long another organization not connected with the church, the area chapter of the Red Cross contacted Durwin to sit on one of its boards which met weekly for a luncheon, followed by the work of reviewing hundreds of applications for assistance to needy people sent in from several counties. This committee was especially busy during the colder months. Without discussing it with his church committee Durwin served on this Red Cross committee for more than a year and a half. He served it well and regularly without any absence and was asked to continue. He left it only when he needed the time to pursue a demanding continuing education course that would help people with a different need and further the work of his local church. I will elaborate on that shortly.”

Continuing with the story, Collin led the group into another incident. “Durwin could see that at least for the present he could make no more headway with the beautification of the church exterior property. He would approach the matter again at a later date. In the meantime he turned to another aspect of preparing the infra-structure for church growth. This also would be one of the more secondary preparations, as was the tidying of the land.

“As it was, the local church newsletter and the Sunday worship bulletin were third rate productions; scrappy looking to say the least. These could be greatly improved with the use of a photo copier and the tasteful and creative use of clip art. In addition, from his exceptionally large collection of books and various church resources, Durwin was accustomed to utilizing litanies and other items of worship and also keeping files of ideas from these resources. Durwin was one to spend a great deal of his own money on worthwhile church resources. He was a firm believer in the business slogan, ‘you have to spend money to make money,’ so he had long ago adapted this slogan to church work. He didn’t see church as a business, but the same basic rule that applied for any undertaking would also apply to the church. That is, if you want to get good results which in the church would be spiritual results, you have to put good things into it: self, money, et al, with sacrifice when necessary. Consequently, Durwin didn’t spare anything in that direction when it was for a worthy cause. Of course he had excellent discernment as to what was good and not so good in that regard. Anyway, Durwin badly needed a photocopier to help keep up his high caliber worship.

“Furthermore, the church at large in its interaction with the local congregations was becoming more and more geared to the local congregation having a photo copier. This was before computers were commonly used in churches. There were numerous items that could be photo copied and distributed to the church board and committee members and at times to the whole congregation. Communication of various sorts could be greatly improved with the use of a photo copier. Presently Durwin was trekking to the shops to use commercial copiers for various purposes, again using his own money, which he didn’t mind doing. But it was inconvenient time wise and so on, as you can imagine.

“At a meeting of the local church board, Durwin spoke of the opportunity to buy a photo copier from an assortment of models rebuilt by the manufacturer and with a full warranty for a year, at an affordable price. The church finances were in good condition at the time, as a result of Durwin’s good quality ministry. As he began to explain why a copier was needed, he was cut down briskly by several members. They glanced around subtly at one another. ‘We have no plans to buy a photo copier,’ said one leading member curtly. ‘We see no need for a photo copier,’ said the next one firmly. Durwin tried to explain the need. ‘We have no money to spend on a photocopier,’ said the next person, cutting Durwin off from speaking, and brushing the whole matter aside by bringing up discussion about another topic altogether.

“There had been no debate as to the needs or pros and cons of a photo copier. It was as though their minds were previously made up. Yet there had been no previous mention of buying a photo copier. Durwin could only assume at the time, that since they had already made up their minds that he was a spendthrift, they would never entertain any idea of allowing Durwin to spend ‘their’ money. This assumption would be further adjusted in Durwin’s mind later on when he became more familiar with the full force of the many devious tactics of belittlers in Terraprima. He would then realize that they didn’t intend to let him accomplish anything in their church, period, money involved or not.

“Durwin and Canda pondered many times how they might break through the crust these people had built around themselves; a crust of undisciplined pride which they were determined to protect no matter what, even when it short-changed their church. The Lawtons decided to temporarily put aside any ideas for significant change of any kind in the church. They would move more slowly in that regard-move more gradually, giving the board and committee members more time to adjust and adapt to change. They would try to socialize with these people, hoping to eventually break through and befriend them.

“Before long, an opportunity arose. There was to be a special event at a school, in which many of the congregation’s children were participating. Durwin and Canda showed an interest in attending. The woman who had done the good, though incomplete job of decorating the church sanctuary interior had been showing some signs of initiative in her own way lately. ‘If you would like to go to the event,’ she said half-heartedly and passively, ‘I will get some tickets for you when we get ours.”

“‘Good,’ said Durwin. ‘we’d love to go.’

“The Lawtons were later informed that the tickets had been obtained. They were to meet the woman at the auditorium door at a set time. She would have the tickets with her, and since she knew the seat number arrangements would be able to show them to their seats. The Lawtons thought they were getting somewhere at last. They arrived on time. The woman was there, together with a group of parents from the inner church circle. The Lawtons were immediately taken to their two seats located in the center of a block of seats. They sat down expecting the group to sit down as well. But then the whole group of a dozen or so moved en masse across the aisle and sat together in the center of another block of seats, but on the other side of the auditorium. A small number of people unfamiliar to the Lawtons did come and sit here and there in the vicinity of them, but the Lawtons were isolated from their church members, and not due to lack of seating space in either of the blocks of seats.

“Over in the other block of seats, far removed from the Lawtons, the woman who had purchased the tickets sat in the center of the group of, as I said, a dozen or so. There she made herself the center of attention with her loud and showy mannerism. It became obvious to the Lawtons why she didn’t want them sitting with the group. She was in competition with the minister and his wife for first place in the congregation.

“Over a period of time this woman with a problem did build up a following for herself, mainly by putting the minister and his wife down by complaining about them and their work. In order to build herself up to first place she created discontent over the minister. Her fellow belittlers, of course, fell right in with her as did a few others. They pursued with vigor their long-standing, wayward policy of ‘give us the right preacher and we will build up this church.’ They weren’t looking for a minister who by his preaching, pastoral care and leadership of laity combined would build up the church. The attitude was, ‘just give us the right minister, and we will build up the church.’ It cannot work that way. It simply cannot be done. For one thing, over the years, the ‘right’ minister had never come. The fact is, the right minister for such a church as that does not exist and never has.

“The majority of this, as well as any other congregation, want the minister to be the focal point of ministry, and not by making himself or herself the center of attention either. He is to do it by drawing people’s attention past himself to God. The majority of people of this congregation believed Durwin was doing just that. The belittlers were in rivalry with it. If this church was to be built up, they wanted the credit for doing so.”

“Durwin had a person with a real problem personality there didn’t he?” remarked Owen.

“Yes,” replied Collin, “and with her ignorance, snobbery and belittling, she would later cause him much trouble. And she wasn’t alone. As we discussed earlier in the sessions, birds of a feather flock together. They were in a minority but in this denomination of Terraprima they would get their way. Needless to say, the denomination was in decline in this area, numerically as well as in quality.

“As time went on, the Lawtons made every attempt to socialize with these people in events in and outside of church. But always they were kept on the periphery of this ingrown little society in which most of the church administration had encrusted itself. The Lawtons showed themselves to be quite capable socially in other spheres, as we shall see. But they could make no headway with it in this sick, misdirected church. And it wasn’t the whole congregation that was sick. Neither was it the entire administration. It was those in control of its administration. Power and control was their way of life. It boosted their pride, which in turn was protected by their envious strife and rivalry. When this scenario was, in their minds, interfered with, by good well meaning people like the Lawtons, it turned to rivalry and enmity.

“The Lawtons continued trying to participate in the social activities of the church, but were always involuntarily placed on the periphery of everything by the near social illiteracy and ignorance of these people. At least, that is how the Lawtons saw it then. In time they would learn there was more to it. Meanwhile they decided to make yet another different thrust. They would participate in activities outside the congregation, as much as time would allow, in order to preserve their own sociability and their reputation as sociable people. This could also be good for the church, for the Lawtons would make good friends and acquaintances in the area, which in turn could make friends for the church, giving it a positive image in the community. Such an image had been, from the beginning, a part of Durwin’s planned infra-structure for growth-to make his church a first rate organization in the community, creating the concept of a church on the move.

“The belittlers wouldn’t see it that way. Their mind-set wasn’t capable of such a view. In time it would be evident they would see the minister as wasting his time and their money. They would see it that way because that’s the way they wanted to picture it for themselves and others for their devious purposes of belittling Durwin and also brainwashing him into thinking he was not giving a satisfactory ministry.

“Later in the story, I will concentrate on Canda’s part more fully. For the present, let us look more closely at Durwin’s ministry. It was now obvious that he wasn’t going to have much cooperation from most of the church officers. So, at least for the present, he put aside any hope of that. The congregation at large was unaware of the ill treatment Durwin and Canda were getting from the board members. So his reputation as a good minister was still intact in the public eye. It was from the congregation at large that Durwin was getting the name of an excellent minister, superior in quality. Concerning his personal ministry, Durwin’s two main thrusts had always been, first, meaningful and inspiring worship services, and secondly, expert pastoral care. In his previous pastorates he had established excellent ministries in these fields. Regardless of the lack of cooperation on the part of the church administration he would continue to concentrate on these.

“Durwin’s worship services were already well appreciated by the majority of the congregation. He had already established a satisfactory and well received visitation program to peoples’ homes where needed and wanted, and to hospitals and nursing homes. It was difficult to visit many private homes where both husband and wife were out to work, and where the weekends were busy with family chores and church. As usual, he left these people to visiting when there was an invitation to do so. There were some such invitations, but none from the belittlers. He would only be in their homes when a church gathering of some sort was held there. That seemed to satisfy everyone for the present. Later, when there was a concerted effort to put Durwin down and get rid of him he would be accused by them of never visiting them in their homes, and the proverbial ‘the minister doesn’t do enough visiting.’ The fact is that Durwin, in his ministry of the past and the present, had always done far more visiting than most ministers do.

“Durwin had received considerable high caliber training in pastoral care at seminary some years earlier. He now decided to update by enrolling in a two year part time course in psychology, pastoral care and short term counseling. Included in this course, as a necessity to understanding others, was a course in self awareness and self improvement. Durwin had always been open to things like that. As I said before, he was a moderately self-examining type of person. So each Monday, Durwin was off to the big city for a full day of school. At least for a time, it turned out to be a bright spot in a life that otherwise was becoming gradually more difficult.

“Durwin would now get further expert training for his pastoral duties. This was an area of his personal ministry he would concentrate on. Another church in the area was concentrating on its mission to the poor and underprivileged. It was conveniently located for that. Still another church in the area concentrated on programs for families of middle class people. This church was also conveniently located for its chosen ministry. Durwin had no desire to duplicate these churches per se. They were doing effective work. His own church was doing a little of each; that is, helping the poor, and ministering to the middle class, but these other churches each were specializing in one of these areas.

“Durwin’s idea was to have his area of specialization in the field of pastoral care to people within and without the congregation; a place where people could come for consultation, perhaps short term counseling, and if necessary be referred to expert longer term counseling with a pastoral therapist or secular counselor as requested. He knew he could expect no cooperation from the church administration. But this he could do on his own. He knew he could do it well. Perhaps, he dared to hope, he could save his personal ministry in this church and prosper the congregation as well.”

Collin, changing the emphasis temporarily, continued, “you may have noticed that to date Durwin’s troubles with the belittlers of his congregation’s administration were mainly that the belittlers were for the most part backing away from him with pouting and disgruntlement. There was only a little offensive action here and there on their part. As you listen you may be inclined to think that they were merely afraid of Durwin because of their feelings of inferiority and the uneasiness it brought them. And under that circumstance Durwin would be free to go ahead with his own personal ministry of preaching and pastoral care. Well, I ask you to keep that thought in mind and let’s see what happens when Durwin launches out with his program. We shall see that belittlers in the Terraprima church, when desperate to hold on to their undisciplined pride and the sense of power and control it gives them, will go to deep unchristian depths to preserve it. When the chips look down to them, passivity changes to offensive hostility.

“I would ask you to bring to mind again the person who had directed the re-decoration of the interior of the church sanctuary, and also had obtained the tickets for Durwin and Canda to attend the school event. Now she was showing leadership in church events generally, and making an increased effort to do things more efficiently and on a higher plain. For example, where food was involved, tables were now set more daintily. More planning was going into women’s activities. Even though she was working quite independently of the minister she was taking more initiative around the church. Durwin noticed this and appreciated it.

“After some consideration, he thought that perhaps he could get through to her over a period of time, and without interfering with her zeal and initiative he could steer her into being a compatible officer of the church. When a new chairperson of the board was needed, she was, in Durwin’s opinion, the most effective prospect. There really wasn’t a non-belittler willing to take it on. They were mistakenly feeling inferior to the proud and belittling power and control people. Durwin recommended her and she was elected to the office. Perhaps, thought Durwin, where the belittlers on the board won’t cooperate with me, they may cooperate with her, and we will get improvement in some things at least. In future, I will refer to this woman simply as the chairperson.

“It became obvious that it was a big step for the new chairperson. She was nervous and awkward at her first meetings. Durwin gave her pointers and coaching about conducting meetings and about her duties as chairperson. This he did unobtrusively through brief conversations, often just a word or two here and there, and in ways unnoticed by others. She learned from it and soon was doing the basic task well, but in time showed even less desire to align her work in cooperation with the minister’s plans for the church. To use an analogy, she became more like an immature and overly prideful adolescent who was rebelling and becoming more independent than was good for her or her family. In this case the family was the local church. Later, she would actually turn on Durwin.