Читать книгу “THEY” Cripple Society Volume 2: Who are “THEY” and how do they do it? An Expose in True to Life Narrative Exploring Stories of Discrimination - Cleon E. Spencer - Страница 7

Chapter One

Collin Seldon and his wife Vita, with a spring in their usual rapid stride, and filled with joyous enthusiasm, once again walked up the city sidewalk, and took a right angled turn plus a few steps more to the glass doors of the Arts building of Quilibet University. As he often liked to do, Collin glanced upward at the impressive glass front of the several storied structure.

“Something majestic about its appearance,” he remarked to Vita.

“Quite a contrast to some of the traditional architecture and stone art work of some of the older buildings of the city,” she responded.

“Yea, but there is something about contemporary architecture that catches the eye with awesomeness.”

“I know what you mean.”

Collin liked coming here, and yet there was always that adverse factor that would put a damper on it if he would let it to any great extent. He would talk about that factor with his friend Owen Winslow when they meet here in the foyer of this building, in about twenty minutes, he figured as he looked at his watch. He had arrived a little early.

His wife departed for the library via an enclosed connecting passageway from the foyer to the separate library building next door, where she would await his return from the meeting. He then proceeded to the far end of the foyer to sit on one of the benches to await Owen’s arrival. They had met there many times during last semester.

Vita’s presence with him was mainly to accompany Collin in the socializing that usually took place at a nearby coffee shop after each meeting, but also to be with him on the long drive home after a sometimes very mind occupying meeting. Collin and Vita always shared one another’s burdens in a very compatible way.

As Collin proceeded down the spacious foyer, there were numerous people, students and staff, going here and there, criss-crossing the floor. Many were heading towards the elevators to go to classrooms on other floors. Some took the stairways, and some the passageway to the library, and of course some were on the way out the main doors, finished for the day.

Collin walked through the crowded foyer to near its end and, as planned, sat on a bench near the elevators where he would meet his friend and colleague, Owen Winslow. He was amused at the variety of reactions he received as he passed by the people in this one single space of earth. Most of them were preoccupied with their business of the evening and didn’t even notice Collin, or anyone much for that matter. Collin appreciated that. He preferred to be inconspicuous. But that wasn’t always possible for a person like Collin Seldon, not nearly always.

Some people in the foyer that evening looked at him and smiled, for which Collin was grateful and returned it. Others looked at him, and then as if in fright, looked quickly away. Collin knew that their problem with him was either shyness, or a sense of inferiority that had been triggered simply by Collin’s presence. Such people may or may not be a problem to him if he were to have any reason for interaction with them.

Still others looked at him with an instant sneer, or with some sort of negative facial expression such as a pushing up of the lower lip in contempt. The most emphatic of all were those who after spotting him, turned their head upward and away to the side with their nose high in the air-’with their nose out of joint’ as the familiar jest goes about such people. ‘I’m better than you,’ they were saying in effect.

Collin knew their problem with him. Among other things they hated him. He avoided such people as much as possible, for such hatred is often turned into either open or subtle hostile action towards people like Collin. In all probability such people would pose a serious problem to him if he had social, academic or business interaction with them. In some areas of North America, this problem is advanced to a destructive science, bringing destruction to innocent victims like Collin if they are not wise to its perpetrators.

Collin smiled to himself. Here he was in a university, taking a course in psychology, and yet even here little or nothing is formally known about this destructive problem and its drastic effects on society as a whole. Government, industry, commerce, education, the church, yes even this very university, all are damaged by this problem which can become vicious abuse, and yet it has never been publicly aired. In fact it is this very problem and the exploration of it in a support group that brought Collin here this evening. Owen Winslow is the facilitator of the support group.

And what is it about a person like Collin Seldon and the other members of the support group that brought on these symptoms this evening - these mild symptoms of a far greater problem. O vanity of vanities, if the world only knew, he mused, but society in general doesn’t know its full extent.

Collin, although approaching retirement age, still had a youthful and healthy appearance as he had over the years of his adult life. There were some signs of aging-his light brown hair thinning at the top and graying at the sides; his bright complexioned face just beginning to show wrinkles in its past middle age fullness; his once athletic body now showing to be somewhat overweight. Collin was just beginning to show his years, but he looked, and was, a healthy person still.

Moreover, although Collin was older by years than the other members of the support group in which he is participating here at the university, he had this in common with them, that even now in his aging, as in his youth and young manhood, he stood out among others. He had an air of distinction about him, a clean cut and assuring appearance. Furthermore, his appearance was a reflection of the high quality character, integrity, and wisdom oriented intelligence within. He was the kind of person that good people looked to and smiled at with respect and affection and trust. But not nearly all of the people of this world are good.

Among the several people who had shown negative symptoms towards Collin in the foyer that evening were those who actively work against, and block the way of people like Collin and the other members of the support group as they pursue life in the work-a-day world. Fine, smart, clean-cut distinctive looking, well charactered people are the prey and game of these wayward ones. Obviously there are other fine characteristics besides appearance, that bring out the hostility of these assailants, but appearance is the one that first stirs their hatred. O vanity of vanities, mused Collin some more.

As Collin now sat on a bench, he reflected back over his last semester interaction with the support group of fine, i.e. clean cut, healthy and wholesome looking, well charactered, distinctive looking people of integrity and often high intelligence; not perfect by any means, but down to earth nice people. It consisted of five men and two women, plus a semi-retired psychiatrist who was overseer of the project that Owen Winslow had uniquely brought together with the sanction of the Student Guidance Department.

Collin and Owen first met in a psychology classroom at the beginning of the previous semester. Collin was at that time invited by Owen to participate in the support group he had formed. The group members were all younger, in their twenties and thirties, and all struggling with a common problem. Collin could help the younger members, Owen had determined, and rightly so, because Collin was much older than the others and had already been through much of the mill of life. By the grace of God he had survived it intact-something that many of his kind are not fortunate enough to accomplish. His longer experience in understanding and coping with the problem would be helpful. Dr. Eldren was present to keep the group under professional oversight.

The support group met each Wednesday evening, 7:00 p.m. in Room 405 of the Arts building, a room set aside by Quilibet University for seminars, group meetings and occasional gatherings.

Throughout last semester’s meetings, each member of the support group told significant portions of his or her life’s story. There were instances of sibling rivalry gone awry-without proper discipline, and even supported by biased parents. But the group members were able to establish that this was not their main problem. Experiences with biased teachers in elementary and high school were also related. And although these experiences had a profound effect in some cases, their damages were still not the most formidable to overcome.

The group was able to establish that their main and most difficult problems come not from childhood, as psychology usually zeros in on, but from the society in which they later as adults tried to establish themselves. Collin tagged it as their bridgehead in life.

For some this bridgehead took place in their late teens or early twenties. For others it was in their thirties, or even later if they attempted to establish further bridgeheads as they changed their occupations. The problems encountered with a particular type of difficult people became the focus of the support group, and much light was shed upon it by the almost life-long experiences of Collin Seldon.

This particular type of wayward and difficult people are the proud and envious ones. A dictionary gives two meanings for pride:

1. An undue sense of one’s own superiority; arrogance; conceit.

2. A proper sense of personal dignity and worth. (Standard Desk Dictionary, P.524. Funk and Wagnalls Publishing Co., Inc.,1969).

The type of proud ones who give trouble to fine people are more akin to the type of those described in the first dictionary meaning, but not exactly. Rather, they are people of a wayward, undisciplined, sometimes empty pride; pride that is kept intact no matter what or how; pride that is protected and defended under all circumstances, whether warranted or not and often by untruths and/or foul means. People of such undisciplined pride, and the envy that almost certainly ensues from it, are trouble makers for fine, distinctive people.

Envy is described by the biblical scholar, William Barclay, as “the most warped and twisted of human emotions.” (The Rev. William Barclay, The Daily Study Bible, The Letter to the Romans, P.28. The Saint Andrew Press, Edinburgh, 1966). Again Barclay writes, “Envy is literally the evil eye that looks on the success and happiness of another in such a way that it would cast an evil spell upon it if it could.” (The Rev. William Barclay, The Daily Study Bible, The Gospel of Mark. P.178. The Saint Andrew Press. Edinburgh, 1966.)

The undisciplined pride and the envy, and prejudiced hatred and hostility that in turn ensues from it, are the main characteristics of those who make trouble for fine people. It works this way: The trouble makers are ruled by undisciplined pride, and are smug as they are. When a fine person comes along, their undisciplined pride and smugness is disturbed into envy. They are like a balloon, all puffed up. When a fine, high caliber person comes along and just by his presence unintentionally pricks the balloon, they are deflated, and more often than not burst into hostility.

Actually there is one of two things they could do about their predicament if they understood it. First, they could rise up to do better for themselves, learning what they can from others, including fine people, on their way, which most of them don’t do. Or, secondly, they could decide to remain as they are, putting beneath them the fine person whom they see as doing them wrong by upsetting them. Most of them follow this devious course of behavior. Hence their belittling comes into action.

At a previous support group meeting, Collin tagged those of the latter category simply as belittlers. Also, in the previous semester, the fine people of the support group and others like them in society, for matters of convenience in discussion, were referred to as fine people, or sometimes people like us.

The term belittlers seems such a harmless little word. But as it was explored by the group it can at times be a monster. It robs society of some of its most promising and potentially exceptional people. In many geographical areas it also establishes these often crude and inferior people, these belittlers, as the predominant influence in their society, thereby keeping it on an inferior level. The group members came to the consensus that dealing with such troublesome belittlers as these has been their most difficult experiences in life.

These experiences took Dr. Eldren outside the sphere of his professional training as a psychiatrist, to a world he had formally learned little or nothing of. But being the good natured and mature kind of person he was, he kept an open mind on it continually. When the group members saw that he wasn’t going to label them with abnormal psychological terms, they felt free to open up and tell of their experiences objectively. Some of these experiences were shocking to say the least, and therefore took a great deal of mental and emotional stamina on the part of the group members to recall the painful experiences of their lives.

Collin had been able to analyze the events for them objectively in the light of his own experiences and observations over several decades of his adult life. These younger students would not now have to re-invent the wheel, as the cliché so accurately puts it, in order to find their way through the treacherous paths in life that would surely come their way because of the fine people they are. Their increased knowledge and understanding of circumstances peculiar to their lives would enable them to better cope.

As he sat on the bench, Collin reflected back over the experiences of the support group members. Being much older than they he was therefore able, as he heard their stories and told his own, to shed much light on the problems they had all experienced with belittlers. As were the other group members, Collin too was highly intelligent in a wise and fair-minded sort of way. This together with his experiences gave him meaningful and objective insight into the problems, and he could offer practical, common sense explanations that would aid in coping as much as that is possible with a problem largely unrecognized by the better side of society.

This wisdom oriented intelligence, together with his high quality integrity, was an asset to Collin, but also a liability as Collin had previously demonstrated to the group. When belittlers get to know that a fine looking, well charactered person is also wisely intelligent and possessed of integrity, they turn on him all the more. Belittlers in the academic field especially are perturbed by these characteristics and react with unfriendliness to say the least.

Collin continued to reflect on the matter: then of course, in the business world, there are belittlers aplenty also. When they see a fine person, they see dollar signs. They almost invariably think that a person like us must be rich, and must have had special opportunities and privileges in order to be as we are.

In many cases, it is a matter of culture rather than economics. For example, if many of our more shabby belittlers would stop spending money excessively on smoking, drinking and so-called junk food, and spend more on healthy foods, their countenance would be much improved. Moreover, they would still be money in. With it they could buy sensible, yet inexpensive clothes with some style and color, instead of baggy T-shirts and trousers which they wear till they are falling off them. Then with personal body cleanliness and tidiness, they too could have a good public physical image. If they don’t want to do that, it is their decision, but they have no right to come down on those of us who do, and only some of them do come down on us. Actually there is no need. Collin thought deeply and sincerely to himself: I have never yet met a functional person, no matter how homely, who couldn’t look pleasantly presentable in public if they had the desire to do so.

Strangely though, only a minority of our belittlers come from the shabby side of society, he continued to reflect. Most of them by far, come from well dressed, financially secure middle, and upper middle class society; people who may have much more materially than we have; people who have much going for them, but are ruled by undisciplined pride and the ensuing envy, hatred, and hostility. They cover this waywardness by making the excuse for themselves that we are privileged and therefore should be despised. It is an attitude many of them have inherited from the past, and even though they themselves may be big shots now, to use the term they like to use on us, they still practice this malady. That too is a cultural problem. So in business they will bleed every last dollar they can from us, and when they can and get away with it, will treat us shabbily in return both in the products they give and in their personal attitude towards us. Yes, fine people have to beware, or we will end up financially broke in no time at all.

All of this had been borne out by the life stories of the support group participants. By Collin telling his story after he had heard the stories of all the others, he had been able to shed much light on the reasons and tactics of the whole gruesome phenomena.

Collin’s story was one of not only childhood sibling rivalry gone awry, not only of belittling outside the home environment in the tender adolescent years, but much more emphatically of vicious belittling in adult life out in society as he tried to make a place for himself and his family.

His problems were compounded when he went to psychiatrists for consultation. They couldn’t even conceive of his problem and labeled him as almost hopelessly paranoid. Thank heavens, in later consultations, his problem was seen to be fatigue from having to work under too much stress in adult life, caused by difficult people. He was relieved to be freed from the paranoia label.

A more mentally cruel story than Collin’s has seldom evolved in a free society. But in the semester just beginning he would tell an even more cruel story that has evolved in the free society of Terraprima, a part of that North American land to the south of the lands of Secundaterra and Lower Secundaterra where Collin’s story had taken place.

The lands Secundaterra and Lower Secundaterra, or second lands, the authors Latin names for a portion of eastern North America are made up of an area approximately two thousand miles from the east to the west of it, and with a population of about fifteen million. Terraprima, or first land, a portion of the land south of the border of the Secundaterras is smaller geographically, but more densely populated.

Quilibet (a Latin name meaning any) University, is based on the writers experience with a support group at a university in the core of one of Secundaterra’s major cities. The metropolitan area of the city had a population in the seven figure category, and therefore offered a wide social experience in a varied society.

Collin still refers to the land south of the border as Terraprima, even though he presently sees it in many ways as Terraprima fallen. His story still to come, of a friend who went to live in Terraprima, will illustrate his view on that.

Some members of the group had wondered at the end of the last semester whether or not they might be able to fare better in the Terraprima society. Collin promised to tell them this semester the story of a fine friend who had gone there believing that might be so. Then they could make up their own minds. It was this story Collin was here to begin this evening, if it was still okay with Dr. Eldren the psychiatrist, and Owen Winslow facilitator of the group on behalf of the Student Guidance Department of Quilibet University. Collin was strongly hoping that with Dr. Eldren’s help, he could somehow find a way to bring this grave social problem, which robs society of many of its most promising people, out into full view. As it is now many belittlers operate quite openly because they know nothing will be done about it. For the most part, only the perpetrators and the victims are aware it is going on.

Besides Collin’s story there had been first that of Leo Aidan, a fine looking, well charactered intelligent young man from a well cultured family. His father is a highly respected judge in the area in which they live. Leo had been picked on - discriminated against - as a ‘big shot’s’ son, a motivation belittlers like to use on the surface. But as his story unfolded Collin was able to discern and point out that Leo’s two brothers were not similarly abused to any extent. It would take Leo a long time, with the help of Collin and the support group, to realize and openly and objectively acknowledge, without fear of seeming vain and conceited, that he was picked on, not because of whose son he was, but because of who he himself was. He was simply a fine looking, well charactered, smart person who stood out distinctively among other people. Being such a person as that, he is fair and constant game for envious belittlers. As Leo told his story we could see how belittlers affected his whole life, including his present efforts in furthering his education.

Then there was Donna Coyne, a fine smart young lady with an air of gracious modesty about her. She and Leo, since meeting at the support group, had become personal friends and were dating.

They would make a fine modest and distinctive couple together, and it looks like that may become permanently so, thought Collin. He knew, however, that life will not be at all easy for two such lovely people together. Belittlers will see to that. One great plus for them is they will be able to understand each others plight and therefore cope with it more effectively.

There is the other lady of the group, Gilda Emerson. Collin reflected on how she stood in sharp contrast to Donna Coyne, yet both were ladies indeed in their own right. Unlike Donna, Gilda was not modest in her distinctiveness. She was quite naturally sophisticated and confident with some good academic accomplishments to support it, and yet totally unpretentious. She dressed well, but would stand out among others no matter what she wore. Her lovely complexion and total appearance would assure that. But obviously she was a woman of high quality taste and decorum. Both of these women and Leo Aidan, all three, had the good fortune of having solid and supportive parents.

Gilda’s story shows another classic example of neither sibling rivalry nor the bias of parents having any bearing on her problems in adult life. Both of these aspects were absent from her childhood. One thing was lacking. The parents of all three knew little or nothing about what such lovely daughters and a fine son had to put up with from the numerous belittlers out in the world in which as young adults they had to make their way. Collin for years had longed to do something about such lack of knowledge. Perhaps now he might have the opportunity through this support group to do so.

Brett Culver also told his life’s story to the group; how he might have been a medical doctor instead of a young businessman with a degree in Business Administration and well on his way to success in his own already extensive business.

This is a classic example of how a very capable young person who, because of belittlers in adult life, couldn’t get what he first set out for, but made the very best of what he could get.

He was a quiet unassuming type. People generally would not associate such a modest and seemingly reserved person with such business accomplishments. Brett is a mild mannered, strong charactered gentleman; an above board straight shooter, honest and trustworthy. Though still young, in his early thirties, Brett’s hair was thinning back from the temples on either side. Rather than detracting from, it served to augment his distinctive appearance. He is another fine person in both appearance, character and intellect. He came from well meaning and helpful parents who did have some knowledge and experience in dealing with difficult people. Brett also has to deal with belittlers in everyday life. He has a fine, compatible wife, which fact doubles his trouble with belittlers, but also gives him an understanding partner to share the burden and to cope all the better.

Next to cross Collin’s mind was Owen Winslow. Owen had achieved more academically than any of the others, and has held some responsible teaching positions as well as being a minister of the Church. Yet even he in his quest for a career had to forfeit a desired degree in literature, and who knows, perhaps a distinguished career in the same, for a degree in history which he made very good use of. Belittlers got in his way of course and caused that change. Owen, as well as being fine looking, is also big in size, tall and of medium build, which makes him stand out all the more in public.

His troubles began, however, in childhood, with sibling rivalry not only undisciplined, but actually aided by a wayward thinking father. Regardless, Owen has done well in life thus far, and continues on the upward swing. To Collin’s mind this is a classic example of a person being able, by the grace of God and the help of friends, including a well meaning but naive mother, to overcome childhood damages. Owen would have done even better were it not for belittlers present in his adult life. He is a high profile and confident person. This matches Gilda Emerson’s high caliber qualities, and since meeting at the support group they have begun dating. They will be good support for each other, thought Collin.

Albin Anders had also told his story to the support group. Albin is the younger member, not long out of his teens. He has a good father but a difficult, belittling mother. She did damage to him in his childhood. He heroically strived to overcome, only to be put down time and again in adulthood by belittlers outside the family. This to Collin is yet another classic though different example of the adverse effects of belittlers at work in adult life and how his childhood problems could have been overcome were it not for belittlers at work on him as he sought to establish himself in adult life. His father was good to him but had little knowledge and understanding of Albin’s basic problem. Hence he was virtually on his own until he was brought into the support group. Albin too is a fine looking, fine charactered, intelligent person, but sadly lacking in self esteem and therefore very shy. He has never had the freedom to blossom and grow into his own person. Physically, like the other group members, he stands out among people. Being so young and so inexperienced in life the odds at present are not in his favor. Collin knew from experience what that was like. He resolved to do his utmost to help Albin get ahead against almost formidable odds.

Collin had told his more lengthy story last, and used it, among other things, to show the extent to which belittling, often intentional, can go to ruin lives, especially young lives; and in accordance with his purpose, he also used it to shed helpful light on the lives of the other support group members.

Collin stirred from his reflection as he saw Owen Winslow coming across the foyer and stood to meet him.

“Nice to see you again,” said Collin.

“Likewise,” replied Owen, cheerfully. “Are you ready to tell us the story of your friend who went to live in Terraprima?”

“Yes if it’s still okay with Dr. Eldren, if he is still in empathy with people like us.”

“Oh, no problem there.”

“And the Student Guidance Department?”.

“Oh, no problem there. They have left us pretty much on our own.”

The two walked to the elevator chatting about the helpfulness and hopes of this venture of theirs, and proceeded to Room 405 to begin the second semester of the support group.

They entered the room but were a little early and only Dr. Eldren was present. The three exchanged greetings and friendly small talk, passing the time until the others arrived. Dr. Eldren stood tall, well built and distinguished as usual. His near white hair and his now noticeably pale face portrayed him as a man in his retirement years, and perhaps still working too much, or, with a health or nutrition problem.

The other group members arrived, Brett Culver as usual being the last to come in. His business life was sometimes more than he could keep up with. This is often characteristic of having one’s own growing business. It is quite contrary to what many people, especially belittlers, think about the privileged and easy life of owning and managing one’s own prospering business.

The members pulled up chairs and sat around in a circle as usual. By now they knew each other well, and also their procedure at such meetings. They looked to Dr. Eldren to set things in motion.

“Collin,” he began, “you have agreed to tell us the story of your friend who went to Terraprima to live. I personally am interested in hearing it because I believe we are isolating a peculiar fact of life as opposed to simply dealing with difficult people as a whole.”

“Yes, Doctor Eldren, that’s it and I am ready to tell the story if it is still the desire of the group.”

“I’m all ears!” exclaimed Leo Aidan in his sometimes boisterous manner, setting a relaxed atmosphere over the gathering.

“I really do want to hear it,” said Owen Winslow. “It will help me decide which direction to go in life.”

The other group members expressed a desire to hear the story.

Collin began his presentation, “before I get into the story itself, there are some preliminaries that I think will help prepare you for it. Recalling the stories of belittling in Secundaterra and Lower Secundaterra, we noted that belittling here is done mainly by individual envious people. Occasionally one or two or three may team up against you, or, a single belittler may gain the support of others, including some innocent people.

“In Terraprima, however, the belittling may become a conspiracy of sorts as I call it. That is groups of people that are close knit together, like in the church, may turn on a person like us.”

“In the church!” exclaimed Leo Aidan in amazement.

“Yes, in the church,” Collin repeated.

“Oh, oh,” was Owen’s brief response, as his thoughts of perhaps one day having a career in the church there took a downturn.

Collin continued, “you need to know that in some parts of Terraprima, including in some of its churches, belittlers treat people like us, either openly or subtly, as though we had no right to function fully, or in some cases even partially, in society. Why? Because in so doing we make them feel deflated, which is their problem, not ours. We unintentionally prick the balloon of their undisciplined pride. Their envy and hostility are aroused. They seek to drive us away or destroy us. It is so common in Terraprima that people in high places and low help one another do the dirty deed. It never having been brought out openly in public, makes it one of North America’s most guarded and frequently practiced fallacies.

“It is a highly developed and craftily specialized way of life among, I would guesstimate, about a third of the population. It was especially practiced in the denomination of the church in Terraprima to which my friend went; practiced among both clergy and laity in high places and low, and much of it in between. They are not only belittlers in the sense that we have already explored. They are cunning and crafty con-artists and ‘mind-game players’ as well.”

The support group members sat speechless and wide-eyed. Collin continued, “let me familiarize you with some of the tricks and mind-games they play; just enough now to give you some idea of what my friend and his wife were up against. As I go through the different phases of the story I will point out more of both the subtleties and also blatant openness belittlers use in putting down people like us; subtly when they are cautious of being smoked out into the open, blatantly open when they know they can get away with it.

“Belittlers actually do feel inferior to people like us and are very sensitive about it-over sensitive in fact. But they will never admit to that fact. They seek instead to make us feel inferior to them and over sensitive about it. So one of their chief mind-games is to go negative on everything you say or do and try to make you feel and look inferior to them. At the same time, in a phony and authoritative, yet seemingly friendly manner they will, by hint and innuendo, try to make you believe you should be heading in life and character, the way they are pointing out to you.

“It will be an inferior way to theirs. For example,” interjected Collin, “I once had the experience of a belittler trying to pressure me into buying the same make of car as he had just bought, only I was to have a cheaper model of that same make, with less options. I had to be copying after him, but kept below him.

“In the instance of a car such action even though absurd could be possible. But with a lot of things, such as the way you do your work, it is impossible to copy at a lower caliber than the overbearing belittler. It would warp ones personhood and wear one out trying to do so. Obviously the belittler’s insinuated demands cannot be met, so his envy is aroused all the more and hostility sets in.

“If you are not wise to them they will then lead you down the garden path to trouble and/or destruction. If when you do allow the belittlers to steer you wrong, their accomplices are ready to jump on you, criticize you and put you down for the wrong way you have headed.

“It becomes a conspiracy of sorts as I have previously called it, in which a whole cluster of belittlers are involved. They may even have one person, usually someone in an insignificant position, or a young person, man or woman, plant downward ideas in your head verbally and quite clearly. Then the others, again by hint and innuendo, try to steer or press you in that direction. If the verbal planting were to be brought out into the open by you, a reaction would come from them such as: ‘Oh well, that person doesn’t count for much, or, Oh well, he’s only young, don’t let it bother you; you’re just too sensitive.’ Or, in the case of a female accomplice, ‘Oh well, she’s only a young girl,’ or, ‘that’s a woman’s point of view.’ Strangely enough, even belittlers who believe in equality for women, still use this latter ploy in their trickery. By these ploys they seek to trivialize the whole matter and tell you that you are too sensitive about such things.

“If a fine, smart person makes any worthwhile accomplishment or does a job well, the belittlers will either pretend they didn’t notice, or trivialize it as though it is nothing, or find some way to disagree with it. Quite often, when they can, they will make the opportunity for you to do something they know you can do well disappear by taking it out of the program or cancelling an event. Usually, in conversation with a cluster of people you will be ignored by them, even walked away from.

“Confront a belittler with what he is trying to do to you, and he will very innocent-like tell you that such a motive never entered his mind. He will then imply that you, poor type of person that you are, need help, and he is only trying to help you. Confront a belittler with some particular incident in which he has wronged you and very often he will be able to come up with an alibi, an excuse, a different story, flimsy and shabby as it often is.

“Then, of course there are the belittlers who like to needle you and make you angry with one or more of several intentions; namely, to send you away in anger and feeling deflated to which they will say you can’t take it, you’re soft and over-sensitive; to make you quit on a job or project, to which they will say you don’t stay at anything very long; and their ultimate is they like to damage your fine character, destroy your self-confidence, and wear you down, so that you will be afraid to ever try again.

“When belittlers find out you have exceptional thinking ability they turn on you all the more. They try desperately to overtax your mind and wear you out. They themselves have the ability, sometimes exceptionally so, to attain and retain knowledge. But they may have little ability to think for themselves. It would be strenuously difficult for them to do so. Assuming we also are the same they try to give us plenty to think about. When, because of our exceptional ability to think, it doesn’t wear us out, they get all the more envious and hostile. I will illustrate this further along in the story.

Another game they play is: by implication and innuendo they try to impress upon you that they are of the opinion you don’t really have much ability at all, and that you think too much of yourself-that you are conceited. So they put on the facade that they are doing a wonderful thing, even a Christian service, by bringing you down. So down, down, down they try to wear you-blocking, stymieing, ruining everything you try to do, all under the guise of keeping you from thinking too much of yourself. The real reason they are doing it is because they see you as a cut above them and they are envious of you. They know right well what harm they are doing to you and why.

When you express a different opinion than they, or when they perceive you may be doing something better than they can or that they never thought of doing, or when you tell them something they didn’t already know, they brand you as arrogant.

Of course, if you already have low self esteem from being treated that way when you were young, then this present assailing will, if you let it, destroy your self-esteem all the more. That is one of the belittler’s main purposes.

“They will dare, and indeed try to tantalize you into openly accusing them of the various things they are trying to do to you. If you were to do so you would be labeled with words according to the education and position in life of the respective belittlers-words such as ‘nuts’, ‘mad’, ‘crazy’, ‘paranoid.’ That being so, we generally have to bear our burden in silence and without recourse.

“A favorite weapon at the local church when the minister makes a suggestion, is for the belittlers present to each take a very different stand from each other and from the minister and start a heated discussion about it. They do this to shatter the proposal to bits, then brush it aside and go on with something of their own devising and usually more trivial or routine. This way the minister cannot accomplish anything.

“But I will hold off telling you more of the tactics and mind-games of the church till next week, when we get into that gruesome phase of the story. Tonight I will tell you the first phase of the story: how belittlers in the Immigration Department of Terraprima quite openly and brazenly, no mind-games used for cover up, abused my friends as they sought to go through the immigration process after being told they could do so in a quite satisfactory manner. Later also, I will tell of belittlers at work in business and industry in Terraprima, and show what a detrimental effect they have on the same.

“You will no doubt be surprised that belittlers can do what they do and get away with it, often unnoticed. One of the foremost reasons is that North Americans generally are not very cognizant of the various ways people are motivated to do what they do. They may say of an action or attitude, it is right or wrong, good or bad. However, to discern whether it is rightly or wrongly motivated; whether, for example, it was done with good reasoning and good intentions, or done out of a wayward emotion such as envy, is generally out of the common orbit of most people.

“I think you will understand all the foregoing more fully as I tell the story.”