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1942 – I SHOULD HAVE

BEEN SUSAN

My grandfather wanted a son and had three daughters. My mother and her identical twin sister were never known by their real names, but were always called ‘Bill’* and ‘Jim’. Their younger sister was just called Pamela.

My mother wanted a daughter, but had a son.

My Aunt Bill sent this photo of herself to my mother when she was expecting me. As you can see from the message, I should have been Susan.

It wasn’t until years later I realised that people must have looked at us and thought, What a strange family.

But then we did have friends called Bunny and Tristram and Bertie and Torquil – names that nowadays people use for dogs and budgies, not humans – so maybe we didn’t seem so strange after all.

In case you can’t read it, the writing on the photo says:

To the grandest person in the world. With all my love to you and Susan. Bill.

So the message is from a woman with a man’s name to her sister who is expecting a girl that turned out to be a boy.

*I didn’t actually find out Aunt Bill’s name until I was 18 and even now I’m not sure if it was Peggy or Vivian or both.