Читать книгу Funk Toast and the Pan-Galactic Prom Show - Craig Nybo - Страница 18

Craig Nybo

After years of expensive counseling in an attempt to overcome his phobias, Craig became a human cannonball. “Being a human cannonball is something Craig excels at,” William “Kill” Freeman, one of Craig’s handlers, said. “We’ve learned to ignore all the slobbering, whimpering, and begging to let him go and just load his butt into the cannon.” Craig and his cannon team continue to rise in popularity, breaking open flight records set by competing master blasters. “I hate it,” Craig said. “One day Kill and his two friends showed up on my doorstep, tied me up with duct tape, and dragged me away. Next thing I know, they’re stuffing me into a red, white, and blue barrel and lighting the fuse.” From his maiden flight over Hell Hath No Fury, a terror-instilling bull on the national rodeo circuit, Kill Freeman, trajectory physicist, knew that he had discovered something great in Craig. “His form is perfect, so pretty that the crowd ignores his cries for mommy as he soars by.” With six broken records to his credit--including a reenactment of competing master blaster Chevy “Souring” Stevens’s free flight over a tank of moray eels--Craig’s career shows continuing promise.