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Introduction

We shall not cease from exploration

And the end of all our exploring

Will be to arrive where we started

And know the place for the first time.

T.S. ELIOT

The goal of this little work is clear: to encourage and facilitate your capacity to be more mindful and awake to the present, and thus achieve the peace that comes only from living in the moment, being present in the “now,” as you live the cycles in a year of life. This is a work about increasing your ability to attend, to pay attention—being mindful, being present.

Some Considerations on Mindfulness

As I consider what to say about mindfulness, I experience a challenge: to express in words what is so utterly simple, neither a magic quick fix nor a miracle cure, but rather a deep well of possibilities worth a lifetime of exploration. Also, I like the phrases “being aware” and “being awake” because they are more commonly understood and, unlike what often befalls “mindfulness,” avoid the categories of buzzword and cliché. Here are a few descriptive statements, culled from my own experience as well as the masters.' Mindfulness is

 Paying full attention to what is going on right now by staying in the present moment

 A balanced observation of what is, without criticism or judgment

 Noticing the changes happening in and around you

 An awake and aware participation in life

We all have experienced mindfulness, but chances are those experiences are fairly infrequent because of the constant state of distraction in which we live. Some examples:

Mindfulness is the moment when you're out walking and suddenly see a deer, before you react, when it's just you and the deer—no thinking, no fear, no judging. It's an uncontaminated moment of attention. You are mindful.

Another example, from Thich Nhat Hanh, the Vietnamese Buddhist monk, who spoke so eloquently about washing dishes: When you are washing the dishes, simply wash the dishes, noticing the warm soapy water, the hardness of the plate, the act of cleaning . . . That's all. Attend to what you are doing. Mindful.

There is the moment of mindfulness when you look into the eyes of the woman behind the counter as she gives you change and you smile and say thank you. At that moment you are present to her, acknowledging a relationship, even if it's fleeting; your attention, your appreciation is on her. In that moment you are mindful.

Mindfulness is noticing the subtle change in your spouse's demeanor this morning as you look across the breakfast table, and not just continuing to eat your cereal or read the paper—not noticing, or worse, pretending not to notice.

Mindfulness: Being aware of and paying attention to the present moment as much as possible, non-judgmentally, in order to notice changes and be awake to its true meaning. Mindfulness prevents us from missing life, from reaching life's end with the sad realization that the deepest human experiences have passed us by. Now is all we have; the past is gone, the future is not yet. Just now.

Suggestions for Use

The 365 reflections in this book are based on the cycles of life: the big one, from youth to old age; the four seasons and twelve months of the year; and the many other phases of daily life, such as work, family, health, and so forth.

We'll open in the age of youth, in the season of spring, and in the month of March—a time of new life and beginnings. We continue with young adulthood and summer, middle age and autumn, and old age and winter. Each month focuses on specific aspects of life, which are named at the beginning of the chapter. I suggest that you begin with the meditation for today's date and continue through the year.

Of course, use the reflections in any way that works for you—they are designed for those who are experienced in meditation as well as beginners. Each daily meditation is meant to be experienced as a two-part process. The first part consists of a quote and my brief comments. It is focused on thoughts, feelings, mind wandering, and ideas. The second and longer part is the mindfulness phase, the part that you create. This is an open awareness, a “calm abiding,” a receptive process of becoming still. Each meditation is designed so that the first part brings you into the present moment with some quiet consideration and so leads you to the second part. I suggest the following:

Read the quote and comments slowly, perhaps twice. Then quietly consider what you've read. Think about it for a moment or two. Any feelings? Agree or not? Hang out with the idea, let your mind wander with it a bit. This first part should help you become quiet and focused and still; it can be brief.

Then allow the symbolic swirl at the end of the written reflection to be your sign of invitation into the second part, the mindfulness part, the part you create—spend most of your time right then and there, in quietude. That is, let all the thoughts and feelings go, let the words you've just read fade into silence, let your mind be still and your body quiet and simply observe your present process of mindful quietude. Be still. Turn your focus inward; notice your breathing. Breathe in, breathe out. Always come back to your breath. Without forcing anything, try to be as still as you can, internally and externally, and with no specific expectations or worries about the process. What happens for you is right.

The amount of time you spend each day may vary—a few minutes, five, ten, maybe more, maybe less. As you progress, you will no doubt develop your own patterns and rhythms of briefly reading/considering and then quietly meditating. Any time of day will do, but consistency will help your process.

The emphasis is not on the quote and few lines of commentary. Though carefully chosen, they are not the point. The point is what you bring to the moment, what happens for you after you've read them and let them go. What they lead you into then and there is the point; how you bring that mindful awareness into all the ups and downs of your life is the point. That feeling and sense of being mindful—right now for a few moments and throughout all the cycles of your life—is the point. In your meditation you are growing and developing a habit of mindfulness; in all the moments of your life, you are applying and exploring your habit.

As you proceed, keep these points in mind:

Getting it right: Please don't make meditation complicated! I repeat, above all, don't ask yourself, “Am I doing this right?” You are. I can't emphasize that enough. Consider that thought, if it comes, as a distraction (see below). The process is simply turning your attention within, without judging yourself or anyone else, and noticing what is happening or what isn't. It's doing nothing; utterly simple, often challenging.

The “rules” are not hard and fast, really—as you get into the process, experiment as you like. This is a key idea and once you've got it, you've gained a great advantage.

Trust: Similarly, trust what happens for you as you practice, even if it feels messy and unstructured. Then, trust the power of being still and in the present moment to bring you a new level of awareness, if for no other reason—and there are many—than because all the world's spiritual traditions have affirmed it for centuries.

Distractions: When (not “if”) distractions come (“Did I turn off the oven?” “Did I lock the door?” “Am I prepared for the meeting?”), simply notice them and promptly release them, in one swift motion, in one door and out the other, rather than engaging with them or fighting them. Then simply return to focus on your breathing.

Please note that part of the process of mindfulness meditation is dealing with distractions; it's part of the territory. The mind is always busy, and this busyness takes many forms: worries, agitations, feelings, thoughts, desires, sleepiness, doubts, and so on. An entire meditation time spent in dealing with distractions—noticing-them-come-letting-them-go and returning to focus on your breathing—is a successful meditation.

Breathing: This is basic to your meditation: always come back to your breathing. If distractions continue or if you find you need to “do” something, always come back to your breathing, simply noticing the breath in and the breath out. Turn your mental focus inward—in whatever way you interpret that.

Your body: In meditation, your body is not your enemy; it has its gifts and its needs, so keep your mindfulness “embodied,” lest it become too “heady” or disengaged from the earthly body. Imagine yourself as mindbody. Most people find that sitting in a comfortable yet alert position is best. Avoid positions that might induce you to sleep. If you find yourself physically uncomfortable, jumpy, or nervous, try pacing—walk slowly back and forth in a small space or confined circle, and be mindful of each step. In this practice your coming-back-to-focus technique can be your breathing and/or each deliberate step.

Mindfulness and Exploration

One of the hazards, as well as benefits, of contemporary life is abundance. There is so much of everything—which leads to complexity, which by nature begets forgetting. Then, often tragically, you forget that you forgot, and thus an important insight is permanently lost. If nothing else, your daily mindfulness meditation helps you to not forget what you don't want to forget.

If you're like me, you'll find that the most challenging part of being mindful is the non-judging part. It's one thing to be non-judgmental if an experience is agreeable, but it's another when some idiot in a huge vehicle forces you off the road into a ditch. You see what I just did? “Some idiot.” The fact is, I don't know anything about him. Was he distracted because he just lost his job or had some other difficult experience? Is he not an idiot at all? It comes back to me, to what I bring to my moment. I know nothing about his moment.

Experienced meditators speak of having the beginner's mind rather than the mind of an expert. While the latter knows the answers, the former is not so sure, and is open to learn new answers, new experiences. Cultivate a beginner's mind.

I ask you to consider yet again: Do not fret about your meditation practice, whether you're getting it right or not. It's right. Even if you never get to the second part of the meditation, the mindfulness part, don't worry or judge yourself. “Mind wandering” and just “spacing out” are psychologically beneficial. Your meditation is not so much about what happens for you as it is about how you respond to whatever happens.

Keep in mind that this practice of mindfulness is a twofold journey, a double blessing: first, the mindful time right now as you consider new ideas and let go into a quiet period of stillness; second, that very stillness that will expand into all the moments of your life, transforming them into moments of deeper awareness and compassion, into ongoing mindfulness. If the first does not lead to an enrichment of the second, it's not accomplishing all it is meant to accomplish.

So, later in the day or week, whether you're in a stressful situation or simply going about day-to-day living, you will have the awareness, the equanimity—the mindfulness—that you need and want in order to “be present.”

You will have become a more mindful person, you will notice what you want and need to notice, you will do what you want to do, you will be who you want to be. Listen to an experienced voice:

Spiritual practice is not just sitting and meditating. Practice is looking, thinking, touching, drinking, eating, and talking. Every act, every breath, and every step can be practice and can help us to become more ourselves.

THICH NHAT HANH

The opening epigraph to this introduction offers the much-quoted lines from the poet T. S. Eliot's “Four Quartets.” It seems an appropriate theme for our exploration of mindfulness and being present; after all, seeking to become more mindful is a true exploration—perhaps the most worthy one of all—for it is an exploration into yourself. My hope is that as you explore your life cycles, you will often know many places—again and “for the first time.”