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If you are to be good at negotiating, you need to know what it is, and what it is not. It is not selling; it is a system of ‘give and take’ that allows two parties to reach agreement. It is about compromise.

Many people confuse selling with negotiating, and this is likely to make them poor sellers and poor negotiators. If you sell, you are persuading a customer that they want something. You negotiate with them then you agree how much it is worth, how many they will have, when you will deliver it, and the payment terms that will apply. In other words you will agree, or negotiate, a package.

The concept of packages is crucial to understanding negotiation. If the only thing you discuss is price, you can’t negotiate. You will simply

one minute wonder Look at today’s newspaper. It will contain many stories that involve negotiating. World leaders will be negotiating with one another; companies will be negotiating with their employees, and opposing sides in wars – with luck – will be negotiating peace.

“Man is an animal that makes bargains; no other animal does this – no dog exchanges bones with another”

Adam Smith, Scottish economist, author of The Wealth of Nations

haggle or argue. When you introduce two or more variables, you have a package on which you can reach a mutually acceptable compromise.

To fully understand what negotiating means you have to appreciate that in most business situations you don’t negotiate with someone just once in your life. Usually, you will negotiate with them many times, possibly over many years. So it is helpful to think of those that we negotiate with as a partner.

Usually you need your negotiating partners to leave a negotiation with you feeling that they’ve ‘won’. Of course, you want to win too. When both parties feel that they have won, this is called win-win.

So, to help you understand what negotiation is, I have introduced a few key ideas that will be fully developed later in this book:

 Give and take. This is the essence of negotiating.

 Packages. These are what you deal in.

 Partner. This is who you negotiate with.

 Win-win. This is how you want to end up, with both parties happy and ready to do business with each other again.

Hopefully, you will recognize that these ideas are not just the stuff of reaching commercial agreement – they also allow communities to thrive and allow us to co-exist as human beings.

This book will show that you negotiate more often than you realize. Once you realize you are doing it, you will be more successful.

Before you start negotiating, be clear that you are prepared to ‘give and take’.