Читать книгу Grumpy Old Men: New Year, Same Old Crap - David Quantick - Страница 18

Yes, actually call themselves that. While there’s nothing wrong with saving the planet (there are surely very few things wrong about keeping the world going, although we could lose, say, the people who wrote My Family along the way and no harm done), the people who seem to have volunteered for the job are frequently tossbadgers.

Eco-warriors have all the virtues of the traditional British prat – smugness, self-satisfaction, lack of any sense of humour, being a bit too thin and healthy – combined with something new: the desire to Do Good but at the same time to Look Cool. That can’t be right, surely. But no, off they go, driving into the jungle to save a lemur, hurtling across the sea in jet launches to protest about Japanese whale pies, dressing up as pretend soldiers to storm the walls of a factory. They’re warriors! Eco-warriors! They have sexy sunglasses! They own accessories from camping shops! They work out! You want to punch and kick the whole sodding lot of them, you really do.

And why does everything they do have to be dramatic and eye-catching? Why is it all jeeps and powerboats and abseiling? It’s just James Bond (see JAMES BOND) for prats. And with all those boats and jeeps and exciting helicopter stunts, they must be buggering up the environment at a rate of knots.