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Chewing the Fat

How could I forget the way it started? We chewed the fat—on our filet mignons that were charred to blackened perfection outside, bloodred inside, topped with a pebbly crust of crushed green peppercorns. We were having lunch at Gallagher’s, Bill’s favorite steak restaurant, and the more excited he got about the idea, the more he waved his fork through the air like a conductor’s baton, never mind that the end of it held a wedge of baked potato enveloped in sour cream that I feared he might inadvertently fling down on my head.

“The entire planet is fat, Maggie,” Bill said, shaking his head. “Between 1991 and 1998 alone, the incidence of obesity almost doubled, and you know better than I do that the only people who benefit from bestselling diet books are the people who publish them.” I opened my mouth to answer, but he went on.

“So here’s my thought,” he said, pausing just long enough to reach for the salt sticks. “Why not cover it in a regular space? But not the pap weight loss stuff—”

“A counterculture perspective,” I said, finishing Bill’s sentence.

“That’s right, that’s right,” he said, the fork alighting once again, this time precariously freighted with a dollop of creamed spinach. “Your audience is bigger than ever—one out of every four adults is fat—and they’re crying out for compassion.”

“Bill, it’s time for someone in the media to stand up and offer America an alternative vision about their overweight: ‘Live with it and love it.’” I could almost hear the first stirring strains of “America the Beautiful.”

“Exactly! You’ll be their counselor, Maggie, you’re perfect for the job.”

I put down my fork and pressed my hand to my fluttering heart, as if to recite the pledge. “I’m speechless, Bill, it’s brilliant. I’m behind it a hundred percent.”

“We’ll move you into a new office,” he said with mounting excitement, “and you’ll have carte blanche to indulge yourself at the city’s finest restaurants.”

With a fine stroke of the knife, I teased off a sliver of beef. “I can’t wait to get my teeth into it.”

Within a week of my lunch with the managing editor, my column was announced in the paper, and from then on my wit and wisdom sparked nationwide attention, leading not only to an outpouring of calls and letters from desperate readers, but also radio and TV interviews, and speaking engagements. In January, just nine months later, yours truly’s face adorned the cover of People with the headline, The New Face of Fat: Is Maggie O’Leary America’s Anti-Diet Sweetheart?

“Fat Chance” was launched, and I was becoming a rising media star. And readers? Well, they were eating up my words.