Читать книгу Santa Assignment - Delores Fossen - Страница 12

“Did hell freeze over?” Ashley asked, stepping onto the porch.

She spared him a glance, barely, before she turned her back to him and pulled out a key ring from her black leather shoulder purse. A tiny canister of pepper spray dangled from the large brass ring and clanged against the keys.

Brayden took a deep steadying breath. It didn’t help. Of course, that was asking a lot from a mere breath. Not much would steady him at this point. Especially not coming face-to-face, or rather face-to-back, with a woman he’d vowed never to lay eyes on again.

He’d made that vow exactly two years, seven months and four days ago. At a moment when Ashley still had his dead wife’s blood on her hands—both literally and figuratively. But Brayden had to push aside those brutal images. While he was at it, he had to dismiss the vow he’d made.

Because he desperately needed her.

Of course, now he had to figure out how to tell her that he wanted to take her seemingly ordered life and turn it upside down. Oh, and that the upside-down part would include forging a highly intimate, permanent relationship with a man she hated—him.

Whatever the opposite of a piece of cake was, this was it.

“Maybe hell did freeze over,” Brayden admitted under his breath. “Because I could swear there was just a sharp drop in the temperature.”

He obviously didn’t mumble it nearly low enough because Ashley glanced over her shoulder at him. The corner of her peach-tinged mouth lifted. Not from humor. Nope. There wasn’t a trace of fun and merriment on that mouth or in her cool turquoise-blue eyes.

So that she could reach the lock on the door, Ashley stepped closer. Close enough for him to catch her scent.

Something exotic and high priced.

A reminder that his former sister-in-law had expensive tastes, even if she no longer lived in luxury. This modest one-story place was a far cry from her sprawling upscale house in San Antonio.

Ditto for her present job. According to the background check he’d had run on her, she was practicing law—but mainly pro bono cases—for single mothers trying to collect overdue child support. Not exactly a six-figure income, and it was a huge financial step down from being the rising star of criminal defense attorneys in San Antonio.

“Come inside before you get frostbite or something,” Ashley said, shifting the paper sack of groceries to her hip so she could open the door. The security system immediately began to whine, and she reached inside to press the buttons on a keypad to disarm it.

Like her pseudosmile, her words weren’t really an invitation. Definitely not driven by a need to be polite, they were no doubt a product of curiosity. But he sensed apprehension as well. Lots of that.

Brayden understood completely.

Every inch of him was apprehensive.

She set the bag on a counter that separated the tiny living area from the dining room and peeled off her burgundy leather coat and hat. She’d cut her hair. Short and fashionably unstyled. And it was no longer honey-blond, but a dark chocolate that was a startling contrast against her cool pale skin. And surprisingly attractive.

Brayden truly wished he hadn’t noticed.

It had to be the fatigue and the stress.

It had to be.

“I’m not sure how this should work,” Ashley admitted, moistening those peachy lips. “Do we try some chitchat first? Or should we just get straight to the point of the argument that we both know we’ll end up having?”

His former sister-in-law had faults, but her directness sure wasn’t one of them. Under the circumstances, he found it refreshing.

“Let’s skip the chitchat. And just to let you know up front—brace yourself because you’re not going to like the point,” he volunteered.

“I figured as much.” She propped her hands on her hips. Not waif hips either. Curved ones. She was definitely built like a woman, and the snug jeans only emphasized that.

Yet something else he wished he hadn’t noticed.

Ashley studied him a moment. “So, you found out, huh?”

Brayden was almost certain he blinked. He hadn’t thought she would be the one delivering the surprises today. “Found out? About what?”

She blinked too. And for a split second, there was a panicky look in Ashley’s eyes. But she quickly covered it with a huff, which had a definite duh tone to it. “About where to find me, of course. Let me guess—you want to confront me about your unresolved anger? And this is some kind of requirement for a twelve-step program to help you deal with Dana’s murder?”

“No twelve-step program could help with that.” It’d taken long agonizing months to push the pain of his wife’s death aside just so he could function. It’d taken longer still for the numbness to go away. And even now, his life wasn’t normal. Never would be.

“Well, yeah,” she grumbled. “You got me there.”

Ashley turned her back to him again, pulled a pint of caramel-fudge ice cream from her grocery bag and strolled toward the fridge. She tried to look nonchalant—distant, even—but her tight at-war jaw muscles gave her away. This was no proverbial piece of cake for her, either. Especially since she’d let something slip. So, you found out, huh?

Brayden would let that pass.

For now.

Ashley took out a spoon from one of the drawers and opened the ice cream. “Wow, this must really be something earth-shattering for you not to get right to the point. You’re not the beating-around-the-bush type.” She sampled the caramel-fudge, made a sound of approval and recapped the carton.

“This isn’t easy.” Man, what an understatement. Brayden shook his head and wished he’d at least practiced what to say. He’d interrogated serial killers and hadn’t felt this uncomfortable.

“So, why don’t we just start with you telling me how you found me?” she prompted. “I’ve changed my name and kept my address a secret, so I seriously doubt you just happened to be in the neighborhood.”

“I hired a private investigator to find you.”

“A PI? This must be important.” Ashley had already reached for the freezer door, but she paused just a second before she opened it carefully as if the handle were fragile and might shatter in her hand. “So just how important is it?”

“Very. It’s Colton.” It was all he could manage to say without taking another breath.

Her gaze rifled to his. She stuffed the ice cream in the freezer, slammed the door and went toward him. Not slowly this time. Her long strides quickly ate up the space between, and she stopped only a few feet away.

“What happened?” she asked. “Has he been hurt?”

Brayden was thankful for the true concern that went through her eyes. The only real connection he had left to Ashley was through Colton. His three-year-old son. And her nephew. It was that connection that had brought him to her.

He was prepared to beg if necessary.

“He wasn’t hurt,” Brayden explained. “He’s had some medical problems.” A simple almost sterile explanation. It still put his stomach in knots.

Ashley reached out as if to touch him but immediately withdrew her hand and crammed it into her back jeans’ pocket. “Will I need to sit down before I hear the rest of this?” she asked.

“Possibly.”

Another nod that was edgy and clipped, and she dragged out not one but two chairs from beneath the small tiled table. Brayden didn’t take her up on her nonverbal gesture to sit. He continued to stand even after she dropped down into the seat.

“The diagnosis is acute lymphocytic leukemia,” he went on, after another breath.

She made a small helpless sound and pressed her fingertips to her mouth. “Oh, God. Leukemia. How he is? Is he okay?”

No. His son wasn’t okay. But Brayden didn’t even try to get that out. “He’s had chemo and is stabilized for now. But he needs a bone-marrow transplant. Not immediately. But eventually.”

“Okay.” She pulled in her breath, hard, and repeated that one word several times. “So, you need me to be tested to see if I’m a match—”

“You’re not a match,” he explained. “You’re already in the bone-marrow registry so Colton’s doctors were able to check. That’s not why I’m here.”

That brought Ashley slowly back to her feet. “Then why did you come?”

It was a good question, and Brayden considered a detailed, clinical answer. One that would make her at least think about his proposition before she tossed him out the door.

But there was no way to make this clinical.

Tears shimmered in her eyes. “Mercy, you’re not here to tell me he’s not going to make it—”

“Colton needs a sibling donor,” he interrupted, not wanting her to finish that thought. Then, he paused. Waiting to see if she had a response. She didn’t. Ashley just stared at him. “A sibling with my DNA. And his mother’s.”

She shook her head. Maybe because she didn’t understand what he was asking, or God forbid, maybe because she was already saying no.

She couldn’t say no.

He couldn’t lose his son.

He just couldn’t.

“I’m asking you to have a baby,” he explained.

Ashley blinked back the tears, and her eyes widened. “You’re…what?”

He swallowed hard and with it swallowed what little pride he had left.

Which wasn’t much.

“I’m asking you to have a baby,” Brayden clarified. “Our baby.”

FROM THE MOMENT Ashley had seen Brayden O’Malley standing on her front porch, she’d imagined lots of things he might say to her.

But this sure wasn’t one of them.

Not even close.

Still reeling from the news of her nephew’s illness, this latest addition to the conversation caused a serious information overload.

“Our baby?” Ashley repeated, certain she’d misunderstood him.

“Our baby,” he verified.

The words seemed to stick in his throat. And probably did. After all, he was talking to her. They weren’t friends. In fact, the last thing Brayden had said to her two years, seven months and four days ago was that he hoped like hell he never saw her face again.

She’d given him that. Ashley had disappeared from his life. From her nephew’s.

From her own life.

“The doctors think a sibling donor is Colton’s best chance for a bone marrow match,” Brayden continued. “Because the DNA will be similar.”

So, she’d heard him correctly. Her nephew had leukemia and needed a bone marrow transplant. She and her former brother-in-law were the best bet for giving him that.

Oh, mercy.

When the full impact of that hit her, her heart landed somewhere in the vicinity of her knees. And because she didn’t want to risk something as dignity-reducing as her legs giving way, Ashley sat back down.

“It’s not a hundred percent,” Brayden went on. “I mean, nothing is. But at least this way there’s a fighting chance we’ll have a suitable donor. No one in my family matched. I’ve even contacted all of your relatives, including distant cousins. No luck. And there’s not a match in the international bone marrow registry, either.”

“Oh, mercy.” Ashley searched for whatever she was supposed to say in a situation like this and came up with a total blank. “A lawyer without an immediate opinion. That’s one for the record.”

“Well, this isn’t an everyday occurrence.” He groaned, scrubbed his hands over his face and tipped his eyes toward the ceiling as if seeking divine guidance. “I should have found a better way to say it.”

“Trust me, there was no better way to say what you just said. Besides, you got your point across—believe me. A baby,” Ashley mumbled, aware that by repeating it, she was starting to sound a little psychotic. “Fate sure has a twisted sense of humor, huh?”

He shrugged. And made a sound of agreement. A mild sound. Which wasn’t congruent with his rigid posture. In that calf-length black coat with a dark blue suit beneath it and with his conservative, short, bronze-colored hair, Brayden looked much like a judge or a military officer standing at attention.

Or perhaps waiting for a firing squad.

“I know it’s a lot to ask…especially since you have a new life here.”

“A new life not by choice,” Ashley reminded him, lifting her index finger in a let’s-not-forget-that-little-detail gesture. “But out of necessity.”

He nodded. “Because of the stalker.”

Oh, yes. Always the stalker.

A person who might or might not be her former client, Hyatt Chapman. A name that even now caused her lungs to tighten and her breath to go thin. The sociopathic slime, whoever he was, had given her some of the most terrifying and troubling moments of her life—excluding her sister’s death.

And this, of course.

This definitely qualified as troubling.

Ironically, it was easier to talk to Brayden about a crazed stalker who had threatened, and tried to kill her than it was to discuss her nephew’s illness or a possible baby. So, Ashley let her mouth go where her brain was already gladly leading her. “I haven’t received any threatening letters or calls since I changed my name and moved here.”

Another nod. “That’s good.”

The words were right, but Brayden’s body language added an important postscript to it. It was good that the stalker hadn’t found her, but if—and that was a huge if—she considered what he’d just asked her to consider, it would almost certainly mean her coming out of hiding.

It would also probably mean having to deal with the stalker all over again.

Oh, mercy.

Ashley wasn’t sure she was ready for round two.

Round one had nearly killed her.

“And I really have started over here,” she continued, talking more to herself than to him. “I mean, I’m doing something that matters.”

For once in her life.

Of course, that was the problem with doing something that mattered. It didn’t automatically exclude other things that mattered, too.

Like her nephew.

But a baby? This was no easy fix. No easy choice.

Brayden walked closer, hovered over her a moment and sank down onto the chair across from her. Directly across. The knees of his pants brushed against her jeans.

His gaze met hers. And there it was. That shock of stunning green. She’d almost forgotten all those tones of vibrant color in his eyes.

Almost.

What she hadn’t almost forgotten was his face. Ruggedly handsome by anyone’s standards. Good Celtic cheekbones. A naturally tanned complexion. Toned and lean.

He was thirty-three now and had tiny lines at the corners of his eyes. Character lines, people called them. As if he needed any more character on that face.

Brayden pulled his gaze from hers. Shook his head. Mumbled something indistinguishable. And rammed his hands into both sides of his hair. “I wouldn’t have asked if—”

“If it weren’t for Colton,” Ashley finished. “Oh, I really do know that. I can only imagine what it cost you to come here today.”

Eye contact again. Barely a glance, though. He even cleared his throat. In the six-plus years she’d known Brayden O’Malley, she’d never heard him clear his throat. Ditto for any nervous gestures. The Rock of Gibraltar, Dana had called him. But today, Ashley was seeing a very different side of the Rock. The edges were definitely crumbling a bit.

“And I can imagine what it’s costing you to even consider it,” he admitted.

Touché.

There was an understanding, maybe even a bizarre empathy, left between them after all. And of course the memories were there, too. Lots of memories. Of the old professional arguments between a dedicated homicide cop and an equally dedicated and frequent pain-in-the-ass criminal defense attorney.

And they especially had all the old arguments about Dana between them.

Well, one argument really. The one where they’d accused each other of getting Dana killed.

I hope like hell I never see your face again.

Because those words Brayden had said to her long ago just wouldn’t go away, because they started to pound in her head like war drums, Ashley stood to give herself some breathing room.

“Take some time,” he offered when she started to pace. “Think about it.”

Ashley managed a nod. Somehow. Even though it seemed as if every muscle in her neck was knotted and stiff.

Part of her desperately wanted to jump at the chance to help her nephew. And another part of her just plain resented Brayden for bringing all of this to her.

But this wasn’t just about Colton. Nor was it just about Brayden and her.

It was also about a baby.

A baby who could potentially save a child’s life and complicate everything else. Because a baby was permanent. A bond. And it would mean bonding with a man who had trouble even looking her in the eye for more than a couple of seconds.

A man who couldn’t forgive her.

A man who was a reminder that she couldn’t forgive herself.

How could she possibly conceive a child under those circumstances?

Yet, how could she risk losing her nephew?

Pacing, repeating each of those arguments to herself, Ashley caught a glimpse of Brayden in the mirror on the antique sideboard on the other side of the table. Still stoic. Still soldier stiff.

Except for his eyes.

And in that glance Ashley realized that Brayden had the same questions, the same concerns, the same fears as she did.

“You wouldn’t have to give up your life,” he added. “But I know it’d change everything.”

Yes. It would. Heck, it had already changed everything. The life she’d so carefully put together, the sanity she’d found, hadn’t been shattered exactly, but it was no longer intact, either.

“I’ll have think about it,” Ashley assured him. But she couldn’t do that with Brayden in the room. She needed time. Alone.

Mercy, where had all the air gone?

Because she was sure she was on the verge of tears, and because there was no way she wanted Brayden to see her cry, she had to get out of there.

“I’ll call you,” she said, making sure her tone indicated this conversation was on hold.

And she was obviously successful in getting that point across because Brayden didn’t say anything, and he didn’t follow her. Ashley started toward her room.

Just as she detected the smell.

Was it smoke?

Ashley turned back around. So did he. He lifted his head slightly. And it was on the tip of her tongue to ask if he’d recently had a cigarette. But it was an unnecessary question. Because Brayden didn’t smoke, and besides the smell wasn’t in the living room.

She spun toward the hall just off the back of the kitchen and saw her bedroom door.

And the thick black smoke oozing from beneath it.