Читать книгу Cowboy Country: The Creed Legacy / Blame It on the Cowboy - Delores Fossen, Delores Fossen - Страница 12
ОглавлениеIF SHE’D DELIBERATELY set out to make a lasting impression on Brody Creed, Carolyn thought wretchedly, as she stared at her wan image in the mirror above her bathroom sink later that evening, she couldn’t have done a better job.
First, being the proverbial bundle of nerves, she’d had too much wine at supper. Then, with ultimate glamour and grace, she’d thrown up, right in front of the man. Just stuck her head out of his truck door and hurled on the side of the road, like somebody being carted off to rehab after an intervention.
“Very impressive,” she whispered to her sorry-looking one-dimensional self.
With the spectacle playing out in her mind’s eye, Carolyn squeezed her eyes shut, mortified all over again. Brody had reacted with calm kindness, presenting her with a partial package of wet wipes and following up with two time-hardened sticks of cinnamon-flavored chewing gum.
She’d been too embarrassed to look at him afterward, had hoped he would simply drop her off at home and be on his way again, with his dog, leaving her to wallow privately in her regrets.
She couldn’t be that lucky.
Instead of leaving her to her misery, he’d told Barney to stay put, insisted on helping Carolyn down from the truck and escorting her not only through the front gate and across the yard, but also up the outside staircase to her door.
“I’ll be all right now,” she’d said, when they reached the landing, still unable to meet his eyes. “Really, I—”
Brody had taken her chin in his hand; sick as she was, the combination of gentleness and strength in his touch had sent a charge through her. “I believe I’ll stay a while and make sure you’re all right,” Brody had replied matter-of-factly.
Though she was painfully sober by then, Carolyn didn’t have the energy to fight any losing battles, so she merely unlocked the door and allowed him to follow her inside.
Winston, perched on the windowsill, greeted him with raised hackles and a hiss.
“Whatever, cat,” Brody had said, with desultory resignation. “I’m here, like it or not, so deal with it.”
Carolyn had hurried into the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth, following up with a mouthwash swish and two aspirin from the bottle in the medicine cabinet. Then she’d slipped into her room and changed her T-shirt.
And here she was back in the bathroom again, trying to work up the courage to go out there into the kitchen, thank Brody for bringing her home and politely send him packing.
He was moving around out there, running water in the sink, carrying on a one-sided chat with Winston, his voice set too low for her to make out the words. The tone was chiding, but good-natured.
Most likely, Brody was bent on winning over the cat.
The idea made Carolyn smile, but very briefly, because even smiling hurt.
How would she feel when the actual hangover kicked in?
Sobering thought. That’s what you get for drinking, she told herself grimly. You know you’re not good at it.
All this self-recrimination, she realized, was getting her nowhere, fast. So Carolyn drew a deep breath, squared her shoulders, let the air whoosh out of her lungs and forced herself to step out of the bathroom and walk the short distance to the kitchen.
Brody was leaning against one of the counters, sipping what was probably coffee from one of her three million souvenir mugs.
This one bore the image of a famous mouse and was painted with large red letters trumpeting Welcome to Orlando!
“You have quite a collection,” Brody observed, raising the mug slightly for emphasis.
“I’ve been everywhere,” Carolyn said, in a lame attempt at normality. Some of the mugs were from thrift stores and garage sales, actually, but she saw no point in explaining that sometimes she liked to pretend she’d purchased them on family vacations over the years.
Which was pathetic, because to take a family vacation, one needed a family.
Brody gave her that tilted grin, the one with enough juice to power a cattle prod, his eyes as soft as blue velvet but with a twinkle of amusement, too. Moving to the microwave, he took out a second cup, this one commemorating some stranger’s long-ago visit to the Alamo, in San Antonio.
Carolyn had always wanted to visit the Alamo.
She caught the soothing scent of mint tea with just the faintest touch of ginger. Her throat, still a little sore from being sick, tightened with some achy emotion.
“Good for what ails you,” Brody said, setting down the tea on the kitchen table. “Have a seat, Carolyn. I’m not fixing to bite you or anything.”
She dropped into a chair, wishing she’d put the sewing machine away before she’d left for Davis and Kim’s house to have supper and campaign for fool of the year. Now Brody would probably think she was a slob as well as a shameless lush.
Brody waited a beat, then sat down across from her. Watched in easy silence as she took a sip of the tea, sighed at the herbal goodness of the stuff.
“You’ve been very...kind,” Carolyn managed to say, after more tea. She was recovering in small but steady increments. “Thank you.”
Brody’s eyes smiled before his mouth did. “You’re welcome,” he said. He’d finished his coffee, but he appeared to be in no particular hurry to leave.
“I’ll be fine on my own, now that I’ve had some aspirin and this tea,” Carolyn told him, hoping he’d take the hint and hit the road.
Hoping he wouldn’t.
He lingered, watching her. “I’m sure you will be,” he agreed.
“And your dog is all alone, down there in your truck.”
Brody chuckled. “Barney’s fine,” he replied.
Carolyn let her shoulders slump, and her chin wouldn’t stay at the obstinate angle she’d been maintaining since her kitchen reentry. “I’m so embarrassed,” she said, in a near whisper, without planning to speak again at all.
“Don’t be,” Brody said. “It’s obvious that you can’t hold your liquor, but that’s not such a bad thing.”
Carolyn bit down hard on her lower lip and forced herself to look Brody Creed directly in the eye. Before, she’d spoken without meaning to—now, she couldn’t seem to get a word out.
“You probably should have some soup or something,” Brody said mildly. What was it like to be so at ease, so at home, in his own skin? Was this what came of belonging somewhere, being part of a tribe? Even with all those years away, Carolyn reflected enviously, the man’s roots went deep into the Colorado soil, curling around bedrock, no doubt. “Might settle your stomach down a little.”
Carolyn shook her head quickly. The thought of putting food in her mouth—even soup—threatened to bring on a new spate of helpless retching.
“I couldn’t,” she managed to croak.
“Okay,” Brody said.
Oddly, his unflappable solicitude made her feel even more vulnerable to him than that infamous kiss had.
Carolyn steeled herself against what was surely a perfectly normal human need to be reassured, cared for, looked after—normal for other people, that is. Foster kids, no matter how good the homes they were placed in, had to be strong and self-reliant, tough to the core.
Always.
“You could leave now,” she suggested carefully.
Brody chuckled again. Sat back in his chair and folded his arms. “I could,” he agreed, showing absolutely no signs of doing so anytime soon.
“And as for what Kim said at supper, about my signing up for a dating service...”
“Who said anything about that?” Brody asked, when her voice trailed off.
“If I’d known she was going to tell everyone,” Carolyn said, “I wouldn’t have mentioned it to her in the first place.”
“Kim didn’t mean any harm, Carolyn,” Brody offered quietly. “Anyway, you’re a grown woman, sound of mind and...body—” He paused, and once more that special something sparked in his eyes. “And if you want to date potential con artists, that’s your business.”
On one level, Carolyn knew full well that Brody was baiting her. On another, she couldn’t resist taking the hook. “Potential con artists? Well, that’s cynical,” she accused, and never mind the fact that she’d had similar thoughts herself, right along.
“If you’re in the market for a man, Carolyn, it’s your call how you go about roping one in. All I’m saying is that you ought to be careful. There are some real head-cases out there.”
“In the market for a man?” She leaned forward in her chair, incensed. “Roping one in?” Being incensed felt like an improvement over being embarrassed, at least.
“Will you stop repeating everything I say?” Brody intoned. A tiny muscle bunched in his cheek, then smoothed out again.
“Who else would want to date me, right?” Carolyn ranted, stifling her voice so she wouldn’t yell and scare Winston. Or the neighbors. “Only a head-case loser who couldn’t get a woman the normal way?”
Brody laughed. Laughed. He didn’t lack for nerve, that was for sure.
Or sex appeal, damn him.
“There you go again, putting words in my mouth,” he said, all relaxed and affable. His gaze dropped ever so briefly to her breasts and then returned to her flushed face. “Take a breath, Carolyn. If you want to sign on with Funky Faces, or whatever that outfit calls itself, go for it.”
“Friendly Faces,” Carolyn corrected, hating that she sounded so defensive. Why couldn’t she, just once, get the upper hand in one of these sparring matches?
“Whatever,” Brody said dismissively, pushing back his chair—at long last—and rising. “You sure you’re all right?”
“I’m sure,” Carolyn insisted, hugging herself and not looking at him.
Funny, though. Even with her eyes averted, the man was an onslaught to her jangled senses. She was aware of Brody Creed in every part of her; he made everything pulse.
She felt angry triumph at the prospect of his leaving and, underlying that, a certain quiet dejection.
Go, she thought desperately. For God’s sake, Brody, just go.
Instead of heading straight to the door, however, Brody stepped around the table, paused behind Carolyn’s chair and then leaned down to place the lightest of kisses on the top of her head.
“See you around,” he said gruffly.
Carolyn clamped her molars together, so she couldn’t ask him to stay.
To cajole her about soup and hold her.
She’d said and done enough stupid things for one day, met and exceeded the quota.
A few seconds later, Brody was gone.
The apartment, once her refuge, felt hollow without him.
She sat still in her chair, listening to the sound of his boot heels on the outside stairs, waiting for the roar of his truck engine, the sounds of driving away.
Only then, when she was sure he wasn’t coming back, did Carolyn push her teacup aside and bend forward to thump her forehead lightly against the table in frustration.
Once, twice, a third time.
Winston jumped down from the windowsill and padded over to wrap himself around her ankles, purring and offering general cat-comfort.
She bent, scooped him onto her lap and petted his silky back.
Since there was no one but the cat around to see, Carolyn finally gave in and allowed herself to cry.
* * *
“OKAY, SO I WAS a buttinski,” Kim allowed, with a sheepish glance at Brody.
The two of them were standing in the ranch-house kitchen.
“Ya think?” Brody retorted.
In the time he’d been out, Tricia and Conner had gone back to their place—they were probably having slow, sleepy sex at that very moment—and Davis had retreated to his saddle shop, where he was working on a custom order.
Little Bit and Smidgeon must have gone with him, because there was no sign of them.
Except for the lingering scent of homemade tamales, all signs of supper were gone. Dishes washed, leftovers wrapped and put away, counters clear.
Kim Creed ran a tight ship.
Too bad she didn’t exercise the same control over her mouth.
“I’m sorry,” Kim said, reaching into the laundry basket on the table and pulling out a towel to fold. “I just thought you should know that Carolyn is...well...looking.”
“Why?” Brody asked. “In what universe is that my business, Kim? Or yours, for that matter? Carolyn was nervous in the first place—my guess is, that’s why she was swilling wine like she was. And then you had to make everything worse by blurting out something she probably told you in confidence.”
Kim stopped folding, and tears brimmed in her eyes.
Brody ached when any woman cried, but with Kim, it was the worst. She was, for all practical intents and purposes, his mom, and he loved her accordingly.
“It seemed like a good idea at the time,” she admitted with a sniffle. “I’ll apologize to Carolyn tomorrow.”
Brody put his arms around Kim, gave her a brief squeeze. “Maybe you could lay off the matchmaking, too, for a while, anyway,” he suggested, taking a towel from the basket and folding it.
“Trust me,” Kim said, “I’ve already had this entire lecture from Davis. If you and Carolyn are both too thickheaded and stubborn to see that you’re meant for each other, well, it’s out of my hands, that’s all. You’re on your own.”
“Thank you,” Brody said, smiling. “I’ll take it from here.”
Kim’s eyes widened, and her hands froze in mid towel-folding. “What do you mean, you’ll take it from here? Are you...?”
Brody held up one index finger and shook his head, grinning as he turned to head for Davis’s shop to bid the man good-night before heading back to the cabin at River’s Bend.
The spacious room smelled pleasantly of leather and saddle soap and the wood fire that crackled in the Franklin stove, the flames casting a dancing reflection on the worn planks in the floor. Davis stood at one of several worktables, tooling an intricate design into a strip of cowhide.
At Brody’s entrance, he looked up and grinned. Set the rubber mallet and the awl aside and dusted off his hands on the sides of his jeans, a gesture of habit more than necessity.
“Carolyn still feeling peaky?” Davis asked, evidently to get the conversational ball rolling.
“She’ll be all right,” Brody replied, looking around and recalling when he and Conner were kids, always getting underfoot in their uncle’s first shop, a much smaller room than this one, connected to the barn at the other place. Back then, they’d believed nothing and no one could hurt them if Davis was around. They’d grown up feeling safe, and that had fostered self-confidence.
Or arrogance, depending on how you looked at it.
Davis tilted his head to one side, studied his nephew in silence for a few moments, then went back to his worktable, picked up a chamois and began polishing the piece he’d been tooling before.
“How’s that fancy house of yours coming along?” Davis asked, at some length. He wasn’t a man for chatter.
Brody spotted the little dogs under one of the tables, snuggled up in a bed made to look like a plush pink slipper, and smiled. Dragged back a wooden chair and sat astraddle of it, resting his forearms across the back.
“Slowly,” he replied, eliciting a bass note of a chuckle from Davis.
“Pretty big place for one cowboy and his dog,” Davis commented. Barney had wandered in behind Brody by then, and lay down at his feet.
“Don’t start,” Brody warned, leaning to ruffle the dog’s floppy ears so the critter would know he was welcome.
“Don’t start what?” Davis asked, though he knew damn well what.
Brody merely sighed.
Davis chuckled, shook his head. “My wife did stir something up at supper tonight, didn’t she?” he said, polishing away at that hunk of leather.
“You might say that,” Brody said dryly.
Davis paused in his work, gave Brody a mirthful assessment before going on. “Conner and Tricia turned out to be a good match,” he observed. “Kim put her foot in it, sure enough, but she just wants you to be as happy as your brother is, that’s all.”
“I know,” Brody answered, on a long sigh. Then, presently, he added, “Here’s the thing, Davis. Something happened between Carolyn and me, a long time ago, and she’d sooner throw in with a polecat than with me. We’re never going to get together, she and I, no matter how much you and Kim want that.”
“Is that right?” Davis asked, with his customary note of charitable skepticism. He’d finished with the polishing, and now he was wiping his hands off on a shop towel.
“Take it from me,” Brody said. “If it came down to me or a polecat, the polecat would win, hands down. Carolyn wants no part of me, and I can’t really say I blame her for it.”
Davis laughed. “Is it just me, or was there something mournful in your tone of voice just now, boy?” Smidgeon and Little Bit tumbled out of their slipper-bed and rushed him, scrabbling at Davis’s pant legs so he’d bend down and pick them up.
Which he did.
“Mournful?” Brody scoffed, a beat or two too late. “Not me.”
“You’re taken with Carolyn,” Davis said quietly, standing there with a froufrou dog in the crook of each elbow. “Nothing wrong with that. She’s a beauty, and a hand with a horse, too.”
Brody chuckled ruefully. Saying somebody was “a hand with a horse” was high praise, coming from a Creed—better than a good credit score or a character reference from a VIP. “Well,” he said, “I kind of messed things up with her.”
Davis put the little dogs down gently, and they scampered off, probably in search of Kim. Then the rough-and-tough cowboy pulled up a chair for himself and sat down, regarding Brody solemnly, but with a crook at the corner of his mouth.
“I’ve messed up with Kim more times than I care to recall,” Davis said, once he was settled. “And here we are, married thirty-five years as of next October.”
A companionable silence fell; they both sat listening to the fire in the stove for a while, thinking their own thoughts.
Brody’s throat tightened a little. “Did you and Kim ever regret not having kids of your own?” he asked, the words coming out rusty.
“We had kids,” Davis pointed out, with a smile. “You and Conner and Steven.”
“Of your own,” Brody persisted. Davis’s marriage to Steven’s mother hadn’t lasted.
Davis thought a moment, and there was a twinkle in his eyes when he replied. “We’d have liked to have had a girl,” he allowed. “But now that Melissa and Tricia have married into the family, why, Kim and I feel like we’ve got everything anybody could rightfully ask for.”
Brody stayed silent.
Davis reached out, laid a hand on his nephew’s shoulder, squeezed. “I know I’ve said it before,” he told Brody, “but it’s better than good to have you back home where you belong, boy. We all missed you something fierce.”
With that, the conversation appeared to be over.
Davis stood up and went to the stove to bank the fire.
Brody told Barney they’d better get on the road, stepped into the corridor outside the shop, then remembered what he’d come for and stuck his head back in.
“’Night, Davis,” he said.
His uncle nodded, smiled. “’Night,” he replied. “You drive carefully now, because we can’t spare you.”
Brody nodded back.
He didn’t run into Kim on his way out.
Twenty minutes later, he pulled up at River’s Bend, near the unfinished barn, and parked the truck. He and Barney went inside to make sure Moonshine was settled for the night—he was—and headed for the cabin.
Brody flipped on the lights and went straight to his computer to log on.
While he was doing that, Barney drank loudly from his water bowl on the floor and then curled up on his dog-bed to catch up on his sleep.
Once he got online, Brody skipped his email—he often went days without checking it—and called up his favorite search engine instead.
Hunt-and-peck style, he typed Friendly Faces.
Something like ten thousand links came up.
He narrowed the search to dating services, blushing a little even though nobody was ever, by God, going to find out he’d stooped to such a lame-assed thing.
There it was, the website Carolyn evidently hoped would land her a husband.
Brody’s back teeth ground slightly; he released his jawbones by deliberate effort.
Finding her took some doing, but eventually, Brody came across Carolyn’s profile. She was calling herself Carol, he soon discovered.
For some reason, that made him feel a little better.
He decided to send her a message.
To do that, he had to sign up for the free trial membership, which was very much against his better judgment.
Having no stock alias to fall back on, as Carolyn evidently did, he used his own name. Since he didn’t keep pictures of himself on hand, he uploaded a snapshot of Moonshine instead.
That made him grin. According to Kim, no self-respecting woman would take up with a cowboy unless she’d seen his horse.
He completed the few remaining cybersteps, and the way was finally clear: he could send Carolyn a message.
Right off, Brody hit a wall. Now that he’d gone to all that trouble, he couldn’t think of a darn thing to say.
Feeling mildly beleaguered, he sighed, sat back in his chair, frowning at the screen as if something might materialize there if he concentrated hard enough.
Well, slick, he taunted himself silently, where’s all that smooth talk and country charm you’ve always relied on?
Brody sighed again. Rubbed his chin pensively.
This was ridiculous.
A simple howdy ought to do, even if there was some bad blood between him and Carolyn.
Only howdy wasn’t going to pack it.
“For a good time, call Brody” sprang to mind next, and was mercifully discarded.
He decided on Hope you feel better, and he was tapping that in when the instant message popped up.
Hello, stranger, Joleen wrote. What luck to catch you online—is there a blue moon or something? Anyway, I wanted to give you a heads-up—I’ll be back in Lonesome Bend in a few days.
Brody went still. And cold.
Joleen had hit the road weeks ago, swearing she’d stay away for good this time.
“Shit,” he muttered. Timing, like luck, was never so bad that it couldn’t get worse.
Hello? Joleen cyber-nudged.
Hi, he responded.
Joleen was faster on the draw, when it came to keyboards. I was hoping I could stay at your place. Mom and Dad have room, but they’re not too pleased with me these days.
Brody let out a ragged breath. Sorry, he wrote back, using only the tip of his right index finger. Quarters are too tight for a visitor.
Still mad over that little spat we had? Joleen inquired, adding a row of face icons with tears gushing from their eyes.
It isn’t that, Brody replied laboriously.
Joleen’s reply came like greased lightning. Are you dumping me, Brody Creed?
Brody sighed again, dug out his cell phone and speed-dialed Joleen’s number.
“Hello?” Joleen purred, like she couldn’t imagine who’d be calling little old her.
“I just think it’s time we called it quits,” Brody said, seeing no reason to bother with a preamble. “The sleeping-together thing, I mean.”
“So you are dumping me!” Joleen chimed. To her credit, she sounded cheerful, rather than hurt. One thing about Joleen—she was a good sport.
“Okay,” Brody said. “Have it your way.”
“If I had things my way,” Joleen immediately retorted, “we’d be married by now. With a bunch of kids.”
Brody closed his eyes. He could envision the kids all too clearly, but they were all dead ringers for Carolyn, not Joleen.
“We had a deal,” he reminded Joleen gruffly. “We agreed from the first that we wouldn’t get serious.”
Joleen laughed, but the sound had a bitter edge to it. “So it’s finally happened,” she said, after a lengthy silence. “Some filly has you roped in, thrown down and hog-tied.”
“Nice image,” Brody said, without inflection. “And for your information—not that I owe you an explanation, because I sure as hell don’t—nothing has happened.”
“Right,” Joleen scoffed. “Well, I’m coming back anyway. If you get lonely, I’ll be at my folks’ house, trying to convince them that I’m a good girl after all.”
“Good luck with that one,” Brody said, sensing a letup in the tension, however slight. He’d never loved Joleen, and they’d had some wild fights in their time, but he liked her. Wanted her to be happy.
“You and me,” Joleen mused, surprising him with the depth of the insight that came next, “we pretty much just use each other to keep everybody else at a safe distance, don’t we?”
“Yeah,” Brody agreed presently. “I think that’s what we’ve been doing, all right.”
“Huh,” Joleen said decisively, as though she’d come to some conclusion.
“And it’s time we both moved on,” Brody added. You go your way, and I’ll go mine.
“Just tell me who she is,” Joleen urged.
“There isn’t a specific she, Joleen.”
“The hell there isn’t, Brody Creed. I know you, remember? You’ve been on this path for a while now, coming back to Lonesome Bend, making up with Conner and Kim and Davis, building a house—” She made a moist sound then and, for one terrible moment, Brody feared Joleen was either already crying or about to. “Silly me,” she finally went on. “I thought all that talk about not getting too serious was just that—talk. We go way back, Brody.”
Brody shut his eyes for a moment, remembering things he’d been doing his best to forget right along. Joleen had been Conner’s girlfriend, back in the day, and with plenty of help from him—Brody—she’d driven a wedge between the brothers that might have kept them estranged for a lifetime, instead of a decade.
And a decade, to Brody’s mind, was plenty too long to be on the outs with Conner.
“I’m sorry if you misunderstood,” Brody said quietly, when the air stopped sizzling with Joleen’s ire. “But I never gave you any reason to think whatever it was we had together was going anywhere, Joleen, and I’m not responsible for what goes on in your imagination.”
She sighed, calming down a little. “Is this the part where you say we’ll always be friends?” she asked, at long last.
“That’s up to you, Joleen,” Brody said, wishing he could ask her not to come back, at least not right away, because things were complicated enough already. Trouble was, Lonesome Bend was as much her home as his, and she had every right to spend time there. “We can be friends, or we can steer clear of each other for a while and let the dust settle a little.”
“I could make trouble for you, you know,” Joleen reminded him mildly.
Was she serious or not? He couldn’t tell.
“You could,” he allowed.
“You might as well tell me who she is, Brody,” Joleen went on reasonably, ignoring what he’d said. “I can find out with a phone call or two, anyway.”
“Up to you,” Brody reiterated. “Goodbye, Joleen.”
She paused, absorbing the finality of his words. Gave another sniffle...and hung up on him.
Brody closed his phone and stood there looking at it for a few moments, frowning.
Barney, snugged down over by the stove, raised his head off his muzzle and regarded his master with something resembling pity.
He was probably imagining that part, Brody decided.
“Women,” he told the dog, before turning back to the computer and the message he’d been trying to write to Carolyn. “There’s no making sense of them, no matter how you try. They say one thing when they mean another. They cry when they’re sad, and when they’re happy, too, so you never know where you stand.”
Barney gave a little whimper and settled back into his snooze.
Grimly, Brody glared at the message box on the screen in front of him. Hope you’re feeling better was as far as he’d gotten, as far as he was likely to get, if inspiration didn’t strike soon.
There didn’t seem to be much danger of that.
He rubbed his chin again, aware that his beard was growing in. He’d shaved just that morning—hadn’t he?
Brody tried to round up his thoughts, get them going in the same direction, but it was hard going. He was mystified to find himself so confused and at a loss for words. He’d been a smooth talker all his life, he reflected, but when it came to Carolyn Simmons, it seemed, he was about as verbal as a pump handle. Presently, Brody gave up and hit the delete key, logged off of the computer and turned around in his chair.
The bed was still unmade, and there was still no woman in it.
The microwave and the minifridge, inanimate objects posing as some kind of kitchen, presented a sad image of the bachelor life.
The only bright spot in the whole place, Brody decided glumly, after mulling it all over, was the dog.
