Читать книгу Hello Helen; It's Michael - DH Steppler - Страница 5

My home greeted me just by being there and I could feel the peace of the place even before I parked in the garage. After exiting my car, I took a moment. ‘Lovely’, I thought, ‘my home carries the reconnect’, because I could feel it, fingers of the reconnect reached out to me from my home. I walked into the dining room and felt it even deeper, the reconnect.

Michael appeared from the guest room and Lu was right behind him. Tears flowed freely as I raced to them with my arms stretched out in front of me in an effort get to them sooner.

They embraced me and plied me with kisses and soothing words of love and need. Accepting their love and wallowing in how good it felt to be with them I clung to each of them and again cried freely for the fabulous relief it was to see them and have them hold me.

We stayed close long enough to be sated in the reconnect and to feel good in general but eventually I excused myself to my bathroom and some much needed self care.

Seeing myself in the full-length mirror, I saw what Michael and Lu were greeted with; it wasn’t pretty, it was gruesome. I’d have to discard the new blouse; it was completely blood-stained and ruined. My nose would be crooked for the rest of my life, I was sure of that. My eyes were hidden deep into the blackness of the bruising that surrounded them and they looked distorted due to the swelling of my upper lip.

The shower did wonders for my body; the heat of the water helped my muscles relax; removing the blood and debris helped my skin breathe; removing the soil from my hair helped me feel clean. Admittedly I went over-board with my attention to detail and took a pretty long time in the steamy comfort of my shower. Just before I was ready to get out I felt fingers of the reconnect. They were close and maybe even contemplating coming right into the shower to see about me.

Out of the shower, head toweled, body wrapped, I placed my hand flat on the door to see if I could garner more of the reconnect while in the bathroom and still alone. Yes, Michael was directly on the other side of the door and had his body against it; I could feel him. The reconnect surprised both of us as it arched between us and through the door. The delightful sound of his laugh penetrated the wall between us and helped to enhance the richness of the reconnect.

When I stepped out of the bathroom I was clothed and towel drying my hair. Even though I felt 100 percent better their faces revealed what they saw and they were pained by my misshapen and multi-colored face. Their arms were extra gentle and their tenderness worked on my emotions. For me it was necessary for us to get past that stage of the ordeal quickly and move on. We did have a lot to discuss.

They talked to me while I dusted my face with powder and toned down the brightness of the bruising. Curling my hair helped take the ‘freak’ out of me.

The three of us were seated in the ‘Pinky bank’. Lu said that they were on a plane to San Francisco an hour after they realized something terrible was wrong. They’d been in constant contact with Rick since initially being filled-in by Amanda. Michael and Lu told me that they both had great confidence in Rick and his command of the situation, that he had quickly found Charlie and me, alerted the authorities, and as it turned out that confidence was not unfounded.

They also both agreed that he was not polite about any of it but that they weren’t looking for politeness; they were looking for some answers, a good plan, and progress. He delivered on their needs, he got me.

“Elena,” Lu said, “Were you mostly scared?”

“Twice I was scared. Once when I first woke up face-down on the floor of the van without the use of my hands; the confusion made things even scarier. And again that same evening when I was in the little room alone thinking about my kids.”

Her anger showed on her normally sweet face when she said, “I hope they put that very bad man away for a long time.”

Without thinking again I blurted out.

“Oh, no, really, Lu, Charlie was just protecting his family. He needs guidance not incarceration. It took almost no time for us to become friends. I swear I’ll help him anyway I can. He has a baby face but I tell you he’s much older and brighter than he looks. His passion to protect his sister’s best interests was at heart, not my destruction.”

Michael and Lu looked at each other and then at me. They got up and squeezed their bodies on either side of me, our hips barely fitting on the loveseat. The reconnect so comforting I could nap with their bodies supporting me.

“Helen you’re a good friend but maybe it’s a sound idea to stay clear of him and allow the authorities to handle their business?”

Michael was probably offering sound advice to a person who didn’t trust the friendships they’d forged. But I trusted the friendship that Charlie and I’d created.

“As friends, we’re allies for life. You should know that better than anyone. I won’t let him down.”

The three of us sat wrapped in the comfort of the reconnect and our friendship in quiet for several minutes. The first sounds that penetrated the otherwise still and silent air were the sound of my stomach growling, and then Michael’s stomach growled followed closely by Lu’s. We laughed and headed for the kitchen.

At the bottom of the refrigerator was a crock pot that housed the soup I’d made a few days before. I warmed the soup and toasted some sour dough bread smothered in butter and garlic salt and parmesan cheese. Lu set the table and Michael took the garden basket to see what the salad could be.

He came back moments later laden with the ripest of produce that the garden had. Michael smiled at me while turning over the weighty basket.

“That was a trip; we’ll talk about it sometime.” He laughed.

Michael wanted to help more so I asked him to make a fresh pot of coffee for after dinner. He hummed while he worked and made funny comments while he accomplished that one chore.

From what Michael brought in from the garden we created a wonderfully delicious salad. It was so good that I suspected that my little buddies were welcoming me back in their own way. A way they new I’d understand and appreciate. Indeed, I did appreciate their bounty and I made plans to spend the early hours with them so that I could give them some over due credit and show them the love. With the help of the new oxygen from the garden I knew my injuries would heal rapidly.

We sat in the ‘Pinky bank’ after dinner talking and laughing and making plans for when I went to visit them. There was so much that they wanted to share with me I wondered if two weeks would be enough time.

When I yawned a couple of times Michael stood up and gathered us together in a huddle for a parting 3-person full-body reconnect. The three of us sighed our collective sighs and parted sated in the balance we gave each other and the calm and peace of our connection.

The routine allowed the feel that all was normal. I followed my routine and was comforted in knowing the next step without even thinking about it. Before I knew it I was sitting at my computer looking at the last of my duties before I’d rest my head.

It took time for the quantity of orders to download and transfer to the lab. There were 135 in total. Making quick calculations I decided that I could only give them attention for one hour.

Having set an alarm so that I didn’t sail right past the time I’d allotted and lose the integrity of my planned schedule, the ringing happened far too soon. I was at a good place to take a break. Locking up and vowing to return soon, I headed for bed.

In the kitchen, my house guests were looking for a late night snack. I joined them for a reconnect and a drink. Then I excused myself and went to bed.

At 4:30 I was up and in the shower. At 5:30 I headed to the kitchen and a cup of coffee to take to the garden. My pace picked up and I quickly found the chair in the middle of the it all and as soon as I sat down I was wrapped in the comfort of the love that was growing all around me.

“It’s good to be home. An adventure in fear kept me away from you guys and from home. It was really a big misunderstanding. Today we’ll try to put some more of the story straight. Hopefully Rick will have the clout to remove my name from the black list and lift the boycott that’s stopping Michael from working with me and causing more of a stir in the world.”

I breathed deeply for a few quiet minutes.

“Today maybe we’ll see Rick and Amanda close and I’ll see Charlie. I’ll tell you about him. He got mixed up and thought that I was making his sister unhappy and he tried to fix things for her but instead he got himself into trouble. If things turn out the way I want them to you’ll get to meet Charlie. I’m going to invite him to Sunday dinner and maybe he’ll be hanging out with me once in a while. You’ll probably get to meet his sister also her name is Amanda, we are going to be very good friends.”

Just sipping my coffee and being made it easy for the reconnect to reach its fingers to me unencumbered. Michael came to the center of the garden with a cup of coffee. He sat in the chair opposite me, made eye contact which gave us a taste of the reconnect and we stood to indulge in the full body version. Sated and at peace we sat back down at the little table. Michael raised his mug and I did likewise. He made our morning toast.

“To being together and sharing the world and to sharing each other, cheers, thanks a lot, eh?”

“Is Lu still asleep,” I asked.

“How long are you guys going to be here?”

“We’re flying out Friday evening; maybe, Lu may have to leave tonight. She’s waiting on news of whether or not she got an important part. If she gets it she’ll leave tonight otherwise she’ll leave with me as planned.”

“My schedule isn’t completely free. At 11:30 this morning, I’m going to visit Charlie and see if there is anything I can do to help get him taken care of. I also need to see Rick and Amanda. Is there any chance that you guys would tag along and just hang out while I take care of what I need to? After we can have a nice dinner along Fisherman’s Wharf and an evening stroll along the Marina.”

Michael said that he would talk to Lu but it sounded like a nice day to him.

A red spark jumped from ‘Ricky’, my pinkie finger ring, to mingle with the particles that issued an invitation to travel on currents in the universe. Both Michael and I saw it.

“Baby,” Michael said.

“Did you see that?”

Before the words were out of his mouth a second red spark leapt into the body of particles and was absorbed like the first.

“Any ideas, yet,” Michael asked.

“Still workin’ on it,” I answered.

“Is that the first time to see two in a row like that?”

Michael was gathering his information; soon he’d have his theories as to what the red spark was all about.

The guards insisted on checking the sandwiches and the catch objects but they just put them through an x-ray machine and saw that I only had food and toys. The uniformed clerk took me to a room that looked like a little apartment and in a matter of minutes Charlie came through the door and closed it behind him. I was excited to see him and ran to him with my arms out like I’d a practice of doing. Charlie picked me up and I wrapped my arms around his neck; he then squeezed me to him. Instantly I was sexually aroused as was Charlie. He carried me into a small bedroom that housed a pretty big bed. That place must have been used for conjugal visits.

Charlie was strong and easily placed me in the middle of the bed and gently put his own body on top of me. His large soft lips kissed me and then he parted my lips with his tongue and tasted me. I suckled his tongue deeper inside while he separated my legs with his knee. There was no mistaking where that was going and there was no mistaking that both of us wanted it to go there.

“Charlie,” I whispered in his ear.

“I’d like to remove my clothing so that I can feel our skin together. Is that ok with you?”

Then I inserted my tongue into his ear. In two moves he had removed my shirt and bra. That was a freakin’ thrill. In another couple of moves he’d removed my pants and his pants as well.

We both groaned for the warmth and softness of our skin together. Charlie was a happy, confident, and giving lover. He was well endowed and had staying power and enviable control. He made allowances for how small I was and worked his way in without causing me too much pain. After he made his initial entry it took no time for the pain to be replaced with a delightful acceptance and sometimes crazed urgency. When he came inside of me, I could feel the strength of his ejaculation and it brought me to climax over and over again. He thrilled at the taste of me and licked me everywhere.

10 minutes after the first episode Charlie was ready for another. I thought, ‘Way to go Charlie’ and I accepted him into me with a great hunger for another helping. I’d forgotten how much I liked sex and Charlie was a great way to remind me. The last episode before I had to go I was on top and guiding him into me with concentrated precision as I moved over him. My breasts brushing his chest each time I lowered myself to be impaled on him. Each touch was memorable and needed repeating.

“Charlie, isn’t life strange? The day before yesterday you hurt me when you tazered me but today you made me feel so good. I hope we can get together and do this again soon. Charlie I’m gonna give you my phone number. Please give me a call every now and then so that we can get together for a catch and to have the great sex.”

“Thank you for not hating me after I tazered you and thank you for your phone number and thank you for the sandwiches and of course thank you for the great sex.”

Charlie kissed me a long sweet and passionate kiss that made us both want to head right back into the little bedroom with the big bed but we were out of time. I let him know that I would be back to see him and I’d keep in touch. I actually asked him if he’d be my sex toy every once in a while. He said, “Hell yes!”

I’d not let him be locked up for long.

The day had taken a strange turn and I felt pretty good as I headed for the lobby and Michael and Lu. I found them outside of the building sitting on a bench watching the ducks and geese as they were being fed by everyone. I had a moment of concern that they would be able tell what I’d just been up to with Charlie, but it was only a fleeting worry.

The three of us joined hands; the connection between Michael and I began to vibrate. It was a very sexual feeling and I was all into it as we walked the few blocks to Rick’s office.

Amanda was waiting for us. I introduced everyone, even though they’d met over the phone, told Amanda that Charlie was doing fine and that I’d see him in a couple of days. He’d probably be released by the end of the week.

Amanda hugged me and thanked me for being so kind to her Charlie.

“Charlie’s wonderful; I’m inviting him to Sunday dinner as soon as he can be released. We’ve become great friends.”

Then I looked Amanda in the eye.

“Great friends, like us. You and Charlie are going to be part of my family.”

We hugged.

As we waited for Rick to finish with his business meeting I caught Michael looking at me; I held his eyes and we enjoyed our own means of getting a reconnect. Lu stood kind of in the back ground while I was introducing everyone. I felt her shyness and slipped my hand into hers as I stepped up to stand next to her. She squeezed her hand around mine.

“Thank you Lu for being here for me and being such a good friend.”

When the doors to Rick’s office opened, people came streaming out in a hurry each carrying concern and possibly motivation on their faces. When the last of them had purged themselves from Rick’s office, we went in. In single file, Amanda was first and then me and then Michael and then Lu.

The look on Rick’s face was one of extreme pity. Perhaps he felt sorry for me because normally I wasn’t ‘a looker’ so to speak and with the injuries to my face, I looked even more hopeless. ‘Funny’ I thought because Amanda had looked at me the same way as did both Michael and Lu. Charlie was the only one who didn’t remind me with the way he looked at me that I looked like Hell.

The ‘social mirror’ told me that I must be pretty terrible looking for my face to garner that much pity among my friends. Well, the bruises were new and probably not finished forming just then. It wasn’t the best idea to be out in public looking like I did and I hoped the bruises would clear up fast because I’d forgotten about them and how they looked to others.

Michael stepped up to Rick and shook his hand.

“Thank you Rick for handling the situation and for saving our Helen.”

Having them think that I needed saving bothered me because those thoughts put Charlie in a bad light. I didn’t need saving but I just let it go, for then.

Rick gestured all of us over to the ‘sofa setting’ in his office. Amanda left momentarily to ask for some coffee and scotch. I guess that was Rick’s regular order. The thought made me smile and that led me to remembering how close we came to consummating our relationship in the apartment next door. The blush that would normally be seen on my cheeks was buried beneath the bruises as I remembered that fabulous kiss – then I remembered how he looked for Amanda to see us and the sweetness of the moment disappeared.

Smiling didn’t hurt anymore but the grimace that the attempt produced was a bit off putting for those looking at me. It took me sometime to figure it out but I let that be their problem because my body had to respond to the way I felt and it seemed that I felt like smiling. To help others out I put my sunglasses back on and kept them on all the time. Odd that the small change made a major difference in the way they all looked at me. Human behavior could be contradictory and strange and the collective even more so.

During the hour we spent in Rick’s office Michael, Lu, and I were assured that Rick, with the amazing assistance of Amanda, had the whole boycott situation well in hand. During a news conference that very morning Rick issued a public statement and a public and personal apology to me and any others who may have been affected adversely by his employee. He said that he accepted the responsibility and that the employee was getting the help he needed.

Drinking the scotch before lunch was probably not the best idea but I hadn’t taken any pain killers or had a smoke and my body was achy. The scotch relaxed my muscles and the burn always had a sexy feel to it. The second scotch went down just as smooth as the first but the first sip put me over the limit for sobriety. After the scotch, I didn’t participate in the conversation because when I said something they all looked at me as though I had just landed from Mars. I got the hint and watched and then zoned-out completely.

When we left I smiled and hugged everyone. The smile/grimace stayed on my face; everything I saw or smelled or touched or heard added to my delight at being. Michael and Lu showed me their need to be close to me as they sandwiched themselves on either side of me. We stayed hip to hip to hip all the way back to the car. Of course, my recall would later reveal the truth that they were supporting a very drunk me and working to keep me from falling on my face. God forbid that I should make a bigger mess out of my face.

I sat in the back seat looking out the window and smiling only seeing the goodness. Sighing deeply when I witnessed Michael and Lu take each other’s hand and share a look of triumph and unity I felt them sigh too. And again we sighed all together, the three of us.

Glad to be home, I had a renewed energy and headed straight for the kitchen already formulating an idea of what to fix for a meal as I was starved. Aproned and gloved, I picked up the speed and gathered the needed ingredients. They watched me, Michael and Lu for a matter of minutes and then got involved. I gave them assignments and in 30 minutes, like Rachel Ray, we were sitting down to the world’s greatest hamburgers.

While packing a bowl in the ‘Pinky bank’, I closed my eyes for a moment and when I opened them again I was on my bed with a quilt over me. It felt like morning so I went to the kitchen to see about some coffee. I stood motionless for the 12 and a half minutes it took for the coffee to drip but went into action to pour myself a cup at exactly the right time.

I took the coffee to my room and then to my morning routine. I showered and took care of all my personal needs including curling my hair and dressing in a pair of jeans and my red cardigan. Feeling better with each change, I headed for more coffee and the garden.

My thinking cleared as soon as I reached the garden. The sun was not just coming up but it was just starting to set. ‘Michael’, where were Michael and Lu? I stood to gather a greater sense of the surroundings and to feel all of the currents on the breezes within our clearly defined space – within the boundary lines of the property. The panic of losing him, them, felt like a dream and a slow motion dream at that. Without giving my body a command, my legs took the lead and headed for the house to see if, perhaps, he, they, were out of my sensor range but still near by.

The sound of the garage door opening was the catalyst that put nearly everything into perspective. The fingers of the reconnect that showed up seconds later were more than welcome to my psyche. That intense rush of panic just evaporated as though it had no hold on me in the first place.

Not knowing what I should be doing, I took stock and anchored myself to the fact that it was Thursday early evening, sun setting. Thursdays usually meant dinner, evening chores – for Thursday there was the laundry, personal maintenance, computer and lab, then sleep. With my house guests, I knew that my routine would most definitely be interrupted, I could handle that.

Michael entered the dining room through the garage door carrying grocery bags, met up with me in the kitchen pouring myself that cup of coffee. He put the bags on the counter and turned to me for a ‘proper’ reconnect. We wrapped up in each other and appreciated the repair and the soft adjustment in our balance. Neither one of us wanted to let go so we stood there near the kitchen sink like statues absorbing all that the reconnect had to offer.

Keeping my voice low and quiet, so as not to disturb some internal meditation, I asked, “Where’s Lu?”

“On her way back to London; she got the part.” Michael answered me with all that was needed.

“Oh, good for her; wish I’d a chance to say good-bye.”

“She left you a note,” Michael said.

He took a piece of paper that had been torn from the kitchen tablet out of his pocket and handed it to me.

‘Elena, I love you. Thank you for loving us. See you at my home soon. L’.

The words written in her hand invited in the longing and gave me a bit of reconnect at the same time. The reunion would be sweet when we met again. I lingered over the note a bit longer than a normal person would have and Michael came to me and lifted my chin to look into my eyes.

“The bruising will probably be gone by this time tomorrow; the swelling’s nearly gone now. More time in the garden and you’ll be all better.”

He nuzzled his face next to mine and kissed my cheek. The rush hit us both and hard. I responded immediately and so did Michael. I swear it was like being hit with that ‘hammer’ that doctors use to test your reflexes. Nature tells us that we’re not supposed to have to resist what that stimulus causes. I’d go with nature every time.

Michael operated on the premise that it’s better to honor what our connection was asking of us and not resist. Well, at that moment I was with Michael, feeling the same incessant animal need which we knew to be a product of our connection. All progress in the kitchen work stopped and we took our need to my room and the big bed.

Both of us crawled to the center of the bed, fluffed up our pillows, and positioned ourselves flat on our backs. A few adjustments took place and then as if we had signaled each other we rolled into a facing position like it was part of a dance. It did no good to try to hide the need brought on by the reconnect as Michael could feel what I felt; he knew and felt my desire for him just as I could feel his need for me.

His breath was intoxicating. I closed my eyes and gave thanks that he was there with me for those moments. His eyes were watching me and were my first focus of awareness. They were liquid with desire and I hoped that my eyes told the same story.

Our bodies were drawn together by our lips. The experiment, as we sometimes like to call those little episodes, gave us the same information as before but maybe we could note that it was a little more intense than the episode before. We launched three more ‘experiments’ before we went to the kitchen to put away the groceries that Michael had picked up at the store earlier.

Looking into my faded black and wild eyes, Michael wondered.

“We’ve done that so many times, you’d think that we’d be experts about every nuance and twitch of an orgasm, maybe even be numb by the knowledge, but baby, honestly, there’s something new every single time and I want it just as much each time.”

He spoke from his heart and from his own internal research about what our relationship meant to him.

“Me, too.”

To change as little as possible would be my goal; why change what was perfect. We were surrounded by peace and contentment. I’d had actual sex that very day and you can take my word for it when I say that not having sex with Michael and our wave was better than having really good sex with anyone else. After saying that, I’d also like to add that comparisons of that sort do no good at all.

The remains of our late supper sat on the dining room table as Michael and I danced around the house. We showed each other what great partners we were and both of us loved what we became while in each other’s dance embrace. We were the smoothest of dance teams, elegant and crisp and fluid. Michael was constantly inventive and fun. We waltzed, long, slow, sensual waltzes for the first couple of CDs. It was Michael’s choice so he was probably thinking of my comfort in allowing our meal to settle. He saved the spins and lifts for nearly an hour after we’d eaten, endearing really.

Sometimes our dancing felt like a catch with each of us challenging the other to go beyond and to reach farther and deeper. We continually met the challenges and parries of the other and delighted in every success.

Eventually, even though I worked at not letting it show, fatigue took its toll. I’d stay in his arms as much as possible during the hours we had left. Dancing prohibited me from talking and kept me from saying stuff I’d be sorry for at some time in the future. Well, the bottom line was that it felt so damn good to move as a united body. It always came down to me wanting more than I could have. I was greedy and would work on not being completely broken when he left the following evening. Focusing on the positive was gonna be my strong suit, my front, my way to cope and probably the best way to cope.

Michael stayed with me in my bed that night. We stayed connected all night and ignited each other’s passion on a number of occasions during those hours. The wave rewarded us many times and even when we had had enough the wave hunted us down like a tenacious marksman, bringing us both to our knees from ‘the seizures and death throes’ while we convulsed in each other’s arms, melting into each other to strengthen our base and stand united.

After we’d settled down we talked and wondered aloud how we could even think of ever doing that again because it was so frightening. But only minutes later one of us would express a need in some tiny little move that would signal the other and we would wrap up again. Prepared for whatever came our way, we blatantly enticed and goaded the reconnect to hit us with the best shot, we both liked kissing so we kissed and then the wave hit, we’d kiss again and the wave hit again.

Even the ‘experiments’ in our sleep were interesting but I’m not sure that we learned anything new from it all.

When my eyes opened and I was fully conscience of Michael’s presence I moaned the first sound of the day. It was a good omen that the first sound was one of pleasure and expectation. Michael mimicked that moan which I took as an invitation, so I turned in his arms and rolled him over onto his back giving me greater access to all of him. He moaned again; another invite perhaps? Accepting that explanation, I covered as much of his body as I could while lying directly on top of him; quietly and slowly I spread my legs and straddled him. I kissed his neck and breathed in his ear and laced my fingers through his short hair as I squeezed him between my thighs.

Another moan, a long moan that turned into a growl came from Michael and he reversed our positions in one swift move. It was the beginning of another great ride with Michael, my Michael, the Michael given to me by the universe. I invited and accepted all that he had to give me. It was a great way to start the day.

When we were sated Michael fell back to sleep but I had stuff to get to so I started my Friday with a quick shower and my morning routine. And finally a look in the mirror proved Michael correct about the bruising as my color was nearly back to normal. The swelling was gone but my nose had a slightly different shape; the difference was so small that I’d be the only one to ever notice.

Before I headed for my coffee and the garden I started the laundry that had been neglected the day before.

Granting myself a half an hour in the garden (the same time it took for the laundry to finish washing) to bond, gather food for the morning and welcome the new day as the sun broke the horizon. Armed with an empty produce basket and my large mug of coffee, I found my way to the garden table. I sipped the hot coffee and existed in the middle of the garden, enjoyed the rich clean oxygen and the gentle communication that carried on in the wind.

When my time was nearly up in the garden I remembered the chore of collecting the needed morning produce and merely thought the need before the bounty was presented to me; my only real effort was to pick the gifts up from the ground, except for the greens, of course. Before heading back inside and to the rest of the day I tried to think of two things, a toast and a song.

The fingers of the reconnect reached out to me and I could feel Michael’s approach as profoundly as if he were shouting my name as he came. Not the style of the reconnect. The reconnect would only be privately, quietly vulgar. He brought with him his own mug and wasted no time in greeting the sun as it peeked over the horizon. He raised his mug in honor.

“May the sun give light to this day as we travel through it together, make our plans, and enjoy each other, cheers, thanks a lot, eh?”

Michael sat with me for a few minutes and then as we stood to leave Michael started our parting song and encouragement for the day.

Imagine me and you, I do

I think about you day and night, it’s only right

To think about the girl you love and hold her tight

So happy together

If I should call you up, invest a dime

And you say you belong to me and ease my mind

Imagine how the world could be, so very fine

So happy together

I can’t see me lovin’ nobody but you

For all my life

When you’re with me, baby the skies’ll be blue

For all my life

Me and you and you and me

No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be

The only one for me is you, and you for me

So happy together

I can’t see me lovin’ nobody but you

For all my life

When you’re with me, baby the skies’ll be blue

For all my life

Me and you and you and me

No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be

The only one for me is you, and you for me

So happy together

Ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba

Ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba

Me and you and you and me

No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be

The only one for me is you, and you for me

So happy together

So happy together

How is the weather

So happy together

We’re happy together

So happy together

Happy together

So happy together

So happy together (ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba)’

Michael accompanied me while I ran my Friday errands which took almost no time at all. The day was ours to do with as we pleased. Instead of heading back to the house after the errands were completed I pointed the car towards the coast and we went for a drive.

Holding hands we walked on the beach at Stinson talking and enjoying the lazy pace of the day and paid no attention to the time until our bellies growled for food. When we were actually hungry enough to leave the beauty of the beach, we delayed just long enough for me to be able to experience the water reconnect again. Carrying my shoes and rolling up my pants Michael instantly understood and made his own preparations for keeping his clothes dry.

We stood at the edge of the dry sand for only a moment before we walked a few steps into the surf. The reward was glorious. We turned to each other to note together the extreme loveliness of it all and to register the memory with one another. Yes, all was right with the world. I moved over to Michael and put my hand in his to be near him and to give recognition to the fact that neither of us could have it without the other. Michael pulled me tight into his body and wrapped his arms around me for a full body reconnection in the water. The sparks and pops made us laugh.

The water was cold but the chill on the water didn’t change the way the reconnect gave us the goodness. Michael couldn’t seem to help himself when he splashed me, only a little. The water was so cold; I was startled and in a knee-jerk reaction, splashed him back. That was all it took for Michael as his splashes increased in quantity and frequency. It only took minutes before I was soaked to the skin. I’d splashed him some, too, but I got the worst of it or the best of it depending on how you looked at it. The water reconnect was like a ‘step into another universe’. We felt a sense of ‘well-being’ with endless possibilities and the confidence and freedom to accomplish any of those possibilities.

Since my entire body was dripping wet, going deeper wasn’t that crazy. Total submersion was my intent and Michael read my obvious tell and nearly beat me under as he dove in. Underwater we found each other and wrapped up. Our unity was great comfort as sparks jumped from Michael and me and back again. Under all the chaos I felt Michael nuzzle me with his lips on my neck just under my ear. Every nerve end stood to attention in anticipation of what he would do next.

What he did matched what I did. We held on and held our breath as we rolled like a united log. The salt water pushed into my skin until my pores opened up and the sparks rushed inside to add to the intensity that was already going on. When it was necessary we surfaced for air; we surfaced under no effort of our own. Our eyes joined together looking for a witness to have seen and felt and been part of that oddest of events. No words were required because our need for each other said all there was to say.

At the time, it didn’t seem like odd behavior to experiment with the wave both externally and from within. There’s nothing in my experience that’s ever come close to the intense suddenness or the slow anticipatory rise of sexual response than being hit with the wave while submerged. At one time in our experimenting, we decided that it was not possible to forecast the direction or shape in which the wave would take at any given ‘event’.

Neither of us was shy about trying new experiments. Knowing that our time together was limited we pushed our tolerances to the very ‘nth degree. We were brave for one another and greedy and driven by the connect we pushed to give ourselves, to please each other, and to chronicle all of it. Michael had his way and I had my recall.

Cold and shivering I knew we had to get out of the wet clothes. Even though there was a blanket and a coat in the back seat, we’d need more than that. A look in the trunk proved to be fortuitous as it was harboring another blanket and my son’s big sloppy sweatshirt. I took off my wet sweater and put on the sweatshirt. Giving Michael the big over coat and the large blanket to wrap up in, he was much more comfortable and decided that he wanted to drive.

It took only a minute or two for the car to get warmed up and cozy. That coziness added to the atmosphere of well being while we talked about the water reconnect. I had to confess that the lower half of my body was still vibrating and then wondered out loud how long it would last.

A smile took up residence on Michael’s face and for a long time I watched to see if it would change but instead Michael looked over to me and smiled even bigger.

“You were fierce back there; you never once backed away. That was ridiculously fun and scary.”

It was always a thrill for me to hear Michael talk after an experience that took away our ability to do anything other than hold on to each other. Talking after was one of my favorite things; the effort we made to understand each episode brought us closer.

He asked, “Did you notice how we didn’t even need to think about breathing because we surfaced when we needed to even without effort?”

He continued without expecting an answer from me.

“There were quite a few moments today when I was transported back to our time in Sandy’s pool and was able to anticipate, to a minor degree, where the wave was taking us.”

Always looking for successes and trying to learn more about our connection and what it wanted from us, I looked at what Michael said as a break through. If he could anticipate anything during one of our reconnect episodes, it was more than I could do. His input could be the way to figure it out.

“Do you have a pool or a hot tub at your place in London?”

I was wondering if Michael and Lu had experienced the water reconnect together.

“Have you and Lu been swimming a lot?”

Michael looked at me again and confessed that Lu didn’t get that part of the connection when we copied (a simple ritual) my connection into her.

“What about the appreciation and gratitude?”

I asked, as I was beginning a new worry that Michael was not being appreciated the way he should be.

“We don’t have that between us either. It’s a good thing we love each other and appreciate each other naturally or because of our love.”

What to do with that information, I didn’t know.

Since I knew I’d make sure that Michael got what he needed from the connect, talking about my effort to find the right person to meet my needs sexually might not have been the best thing right then. But, our time was limited; Michael would be leaving in a few hours.

“Michael, now that you and Lu are married and sex between us is not even a possibility I wanted to let you know that I’m gonna look for a partner. Yes I know that it’ll probably be an impossible task to find someone my principles would allow me to be with.”

I made the statement in a conversational tone. It was merely an informative statement not something that was meant to goad. Michael cared for me and I knew that he wanted me for his own and would prefer that I not have anyone in my life that could distract from our connection. His demand was completely unrealistic; I needed the complete physical connection and Michael couldn’t give it to me.

“Do you have someone in mind?”

Michael’s voice was controlled but I could feel his unease.

“Well, believe it or not, the opportunity has presented itself to me on a few occasions by more than one person; so, no, I don’t have one particular person in mind for the arduous task of being my sex partner. I’ve never actively looked for someone to be a partner of that kind. I’ll probably have to try out a relationship with all who present themselves to me as I do the research it’ll take to find the right man.”

The last sentence was a thought – just something I was thinking that came out of my mouth without my realizing I was saying it out loud.

“That sounds a bit dangerous Helen.”

Michael didn’t like what he heard.

“Michael, you know that I love you and our connection commands me to make sure you’re happy before I concern myself with my own needs. From what I know and what I’ve seen you are set, you have Lu and when I visit you guys we’ll copy the connection to her again and then the two of you will be back on track like the day you first left my house all those months ago.”

I kept my tone of voice conversational. His comfort was important to me and I could tell that no matter what tone I used, he would still be uncomfortable. I was actually telling him that getting hit by the wave once in awhile was not enough for me anymore.

“I wasn’t thinking of how it would affect me but I am concerned with the danger you may get yourself into.”

Michael showed me concern because of the commands of the connect and his need to have me exclusively.

“Getting hit by the wave is better and more exciting than anything I’ve ever experienced and if I had access to it on a regular basis I’d probably be satisfied and not need the real thing.”

I looked at Michael.

“So you and Lu should move close to me and give me a wave on a regular basis and I’ll be satisfied.”

Michael said nothing but just listened.

“There was an article that I read about you and Lu buying the place in London that made me cry even though the connect had been in hibernation for awhile. It was like the reconnect reached out to me from that article and twisted my heart into a knot. After that I sunk deeper into a funk, feeling the hope of a reconnect with the two of you become more remote and I became truly grateful for the hibernation state.”

There was a moment when I thought back to those uninspired days, those days in limbo and realized once more that I couldn’t do it again. I needed to live and to be inspired and to create and be productive.

“Michael,” my voice was quiet but honest.

“I won’t use the hibernation state again. It was like the clock in my life was ticking away and I was absent. So no matter how our separation affects me, I’ll endure in the state that the connect deems proper. If that means discomfort and disorientation, then so be it.”

Those were the last words spoken for a long time as we both sat together going forward and feeling calm because of the connect and our close proximity. The calm helped with our discussion.

“There was a great injustice done to you by me after you gave Lu the gift of your connection. At first our connection worked on my nerves but the farther we got from you the less the connection worked on me. I’d hoped that the distance worked the same for you and that’s how I got by the guilt I felt for not checking on you. Your needs became less and less important to me until the connect started yelling at me on a daily basis.”

He drew out his words and took his time.

“Leaving you without hope of a reconnect is something I won’t do again. I am so totally beyond sorry for that. It’s important to set things right. As long as we have this connection, we’ll figure out what we all need not just what I want, understand?”

I wondered if the reminder was for me or for him.

“Ok,” I said.

“Did Lu forget me, too?”

There was no accusation in the question just a need for more information.

“You’ll have to talk to her about that, I can’t speak for her. We allowed each other not to talk about you and any need that either of us felt. I can tell you that we were very sexually happy for a time, thanks to you.”

Back at my place we went our separate ways while each of us took our showers. After my shower, I headed to the kitchen to prepare us a meal and Michael got his belongings together for the trip home. I made one of my Monte Cristos because I had the ingredients and I knew that it was one of Michael’s favorites.

“Lucky me, hot ‘Mustard Cum’.”

Michael said as he saw what I’d fixed. He’d used different ‘M-C’ words as was my family’s tradition when I fixed that particular food. Michael always added a sexual innuendo, which made it fun for both of us. Then he wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head.

“In this moment, Hellie, I couldn’t be happier.”

“You do the same for me. In this moment, I too, couldn’t be happier.”

We ate the repast in relative silence except for the sounds of delight at how good the ‘Menstrual Cycle’ was.

After lunch we met up in the ‘Pinky bank’ for a much needed bowl and a discussion of what we’d do while I was visiting their place. Michael was happy that I was coming for a visit and helped to generate excitement for me at the trip. We wanted to have a catch before he was gone and left the confines of the cozy little ‘Pinky bank’ but only got as far as my big bed.

Michael looked at me when he saw the bed and I looked at him at the same time and without saying a single word to each other, we crawled into the middle of the bed. Again without words we organized our space with a single pillow each. Eyes to the ceiling we rolled into each other.

“I do love you Helen,” Michael said.

“I’ll make sure that you know it in my actions as well as me saying it to you. Would you mind a small experiment?”

“I’m interested,” I said.

That was Michael’s go-ahead. He looked into my eyes for a minute before he lunged at me and captured my lips and smashed our faces together in nearly a brutal move. His aggression was surprisingly arousing. There was no need to force us together because we usually were drawn together like magnets anyway.

Maybe he caught the reconnect on unawares because it took a minute before the connect kicked in. I actually felt the pleasure of it when Michael dragged his body over mine and allowed his entire weight to rest on me. He bit my lower lip and then tasted me; I got the same pleasure from him.

When the wave did hit, the affect was mild and very sweet compared to so many other times we’d been slammed by the wave and feared for our lives. We didn’t have very much time before we’d have to go to the airport but we also didn’t want to end our ‘experiment’ session.

We left for the airport without having our catch. Our conversation on the drive was mostly about the ‘experiment session’ we’d had earlier. The discussion made me want to go right back to my house and get into my big bed again. I reached over to him and put my hand on his arm. I needed contact and if I had to pull the car over and park to get the needed reconnection I’d do it. Michael removed my hand from his arm and held it in both of his.

“Thanks, Michael,” I said seeing his sensitivity to my needs.

“Helen,” Michael said.

“I feel your need and promise you one full-body reconnect when you stop the car.”

As soon as his words were out of his mouth, I was pulling over. I got out of the car after I parked along the freeway well out of the traffic. Michael got out too and was ready for me when I got to him. He picked me up and crushed me to him in an effort to garner as much of the reconnect as we possibly could. Not caring if anyone saw us or not we held each other tenaciously until we were calm.

“Thank you baby,” I whispered.

For about 15 minutes we appreciated each other along the side of the freeway close to the airport. As a California Highway Patrolman pulled off the freeway right behind us, we got back into the car and I immediately pulled onto the freeway to continue our journey to the airport.

“Helen,” Michael chided me.

“Won’t he just follow us?”

“No,” I said.

“He won’t. He had no good reason to stop in the first place.”

“This is a new side to you, defiant of the law.” Michael chuckled.

“Please don’t think of that man as the law, merely because he wears the uniform and drives a vehicle with colorful lights.” I countered.

No, the cop didn’t follow us as I knew he wouldn’t. Michael was relieved.

Michael’s flight was delayed for a few hours and I nearly cried with delight. What to do with our new found time together? Michael was way ahead of me as he pulled me along to get a taxi. We ended up at the Embassy Suites for dinner.

After we had ordered our food Michael broached the subject of my search for a committed sex partner.

“Hellie, I was wondering if you would hold off on the search for a partner until after your visit with us in London?”

“Absolutely not,” I said forgetting to temper my response with kindness.

“If an opportunity arises, I’m going to take it. Michael; you have to understand that opportunities don’t come my way that often. Remember who your talking to, I’m not Lu or Denice; I’m not the desired one. I’m not symmetrical. It’s hard enough to even recognize when someone might be interested in me.”

“Then why am I so damn worried that someone is going snatch you up and you’ll go off and leave me like I did you?”

Michael got to the center of the issue immediately.

“You’re worried that if I had someone in my life I wouldn’t need or want you?”

My question was just to clear up what he was saying to me. Michael looked down at his hands and quietly spoke.

“Yes, partly.”

“Truthfully Michael, I can’t tell you what the future will bring but I do know how I’ll behave in it. If it will help you, I’ll make you a promise, something I don’t do very often. I promise you, my sweet Michael, that no other man will take priority over your needs.”

“Helen,” Michael’s use of my name had a lovely soothing effect on me.

“I have deeper concerns around this issue but they are based on safety. You could get yourself in trouble and maybe even hurt.”

I wasn’t afraid of getting hurt by anyone or anything other than Michael. I still wanted to give Michael more comfort around his worry.

“How about if a situation does come up, I give you a call and discuss it with you.”

I realized that doing so would decrease my chance of having sex with that particular person because Michael would find some reason for it not to be safe.

“Ok, that would be better but I’d still rather you wait until after you come to London.”

“This talk about sex has made me wish that we had a room here so we could hold each other and invite the wave a couple more times before you leave.”

I lowered my voice to a whisper. Simultaneously we stood and embraced. We held our position until we each sighed deeply and were sated by the reconnect.

With another hour to wait for his plane, I suggested.

“Michael, how about a catch while we wait?”

The words were barely out of my mouth before we were calculating where and how. We found a place that was kind of deserted so we set up a couple of chairs and I handed Michael the little ‘Hebly’ that I carried with me all of the time. Michael took ‘Hebly’ from me and a look of melancholy crossed his face. I could nearly hear his thoughts about the little object. ‘I have one of these, I wonder where it is.’

Michael presented ‘Hebly’ and praised me as the Greater Player and then hurled ‘Hebly’ to me in a curved side arm with speed. Catching his pitch and returning it to him in the exact same pitch, he laughed but caught it and sent it back with greater velocity and more spin. I let out a squeal of delight at the speed but saw Michael’s frown.

“Remember where you are, Helen.”

For the rest of the delay we played a fast-paced catch, one game. We would never allow that object to touch the floor and we dove for every pitch and let nothing get by us. After we’d been playing for about 30 minutes, an audience formed and we heard applause from them when we made catches that didn’t seem possible. I could hear people speaking Michael’s name so people recognized him. Not giving fans a chance to ask for autographs from Michael we played right up until we heard the last call for his flight, laughing all the time.

At the very last minute possible Michael caught ‘Hebly’ and came to me quickly for our reconnect – a bit sweaty but sweet just the same. I whispered in his ear just before we released each other and he boarded.

“I love you, Michael and it looks like I always will. Please, baby, give my love to Lu.”

I kissed his neck and squeezed him tight. Then he was gone, again.

It was very late and the drive home gave me time to reflect on our days together and to make plans to fortify myself with the power of the reconnect in every object that carried his residue, his flavor, and his reconnect that I’d access to. When I was able to put the connect in a hibernation state I still couldn’t remove Ricky from my pinkie finger and put her away with everything else indefinitely.

Back at home, I went into action, knowing that soon I’d be hurting for Michael. I brought everything I could think of that would help me to reconnect and stay connected. Michael had given me his ‘maple leaf’ baseball cap which I put on as soon as I found it for a different kind of reconnect, kind of cerebral but way good! The overcoat that Michael had worn that very day carried the power. I put it on and wrapped my legs in the blanket that he used to stay warm.

When eventually I crawled into bed for the night I felt him in my big bed. Without any clothes the reconnect was particularly lovely. I’d fortified me in every way I could think of to increase my chances of making it two weeks without a physical reconnect. When I fell asleep even my dreams brought me more of the reconnect. My last thought before sleep took me was, ‘the connect wants me to reconnect and is helping me. Thank you to the power that has given me another opportunity to get it right.’

We’d be together again in two weeks.