Читать книгу The Red Spark - DH Steppler - Страница 6

After seeing Michael to his plane and watching his flight take to the air, Charlie and I held hands and walked to the truck without saying a word.

Charlie hesitated a second before he started the engine, leaned down and kissed me.

“Helen, you have something to tell me?”

Charlie cut to the chase.

“Yesterday the red spark took me to you and your pretty girl friend that should have been named Colleen. You didn’t speak but I could hear your thoughts. You called her a mean bitch and you questioned what the hell you were doing with her. You wanted your crazy woman back.”

Charlie didn’t say anything.

“I don’t know why I was allowed to see that Charlie, but I’m so glad you wanted me back. I was thinking that maybe Ricky doesn’t want me to forget how much I love you. Maybe that’s why I was allowed to see. Does it bother you that I saw that?”

“No,” he answered.

“Are you ok with me knowing everything there is to know about you?”

“Yeah, you already know all that matters.” He shrugged.

Snuggling closer into him I whispered.

“I love you more every minute.”

Charlie put his right hand on my inner thigh and didn’t move it until he parked the truck.

“Come on crazy woman; let’s go make crazy love.”

We walked hand in hand into the house and then straight to bed where we did just what Charlie suggested.

In the following two weeks, the days before the PBS special premiere I jumped the red sparks as often as possible in the effort to gain control and understanding of what the red travel was all about. I wanted to be able to control the space of time that I traveled to.

Charlie was with me every time and helped me to regain my strength after each and every event.

Ricky’s red spark took me to people in my life when they weren’t even with me. I saw what people thought of me during glimpses of their lives. I heard conversations that didn’t put me in a very good light. Ricky took me to the first time I met Lu and I was astounded to know how ugly and old she thought I was.

Ricky’s particles took me to Miles while he was still alive; he was watching the video he’d taken of me climbing his fence and he was laughing.

“Damn, now there’s a woman I’d like to have.” he said.

While all that eavesdropping travel was going on, Ricky was trying to tell me something but I wasn’t picking it up. Michael was right I didn’t want to eavesdrop on people but I was looking for the bigger picture. Once during red spark travel I wished that I could kick my recall into high gear and be allowed to use it during my short visits. My recall is a gift from birth. With it I’m able to bring back times and events in my life to gain a greater understanding; I was given the gift, I believe, due to a natural unawareness that is part of my makeup. Traveling frequently allowed me to see how things changed and people changed. I saw that just like Lu’s opinion had changed concerning me others changed as well. Of course there are some people who just like to hate but those people didn’t have to be in my life.

With the frequency of travel I was able to slow the decent but not really able to direct it.

After I examined all the trips I took, I recognized that the one trip I took with Michael was the trip that I had the most control. That control, I was pretty sure was possible because of the connection between Michael and me.

A couple of days before the big premiere, I called Michael and asked that he meet me on the current of our flavors for a good reconnect. An hour later Michael and I were uniting into one being for a complete connection of a spiritual kind that we knew would give us a boost in every effort we participated in. And, an hour after that we were waking up and feeling like we could run the world.

I called Charlie to let him know that I was going to take a quick trip with the red sparks.

“Charlie, keep an eye on me please; I’m trying something new.”

“I gotcha,” he said.

Waiting for Ricky to show me her colors for only a few minutes and then she obliged. I jumped into the middle of Ricky’s particles aiming for the red and then I was in the eerie colored hue and even though there was a pull that was tugging me downward, I was buoyant and steady. Without effort I slowed the decent and I could see dates on the ledges and beyond that people within those dates. It was an intricate and methodical layered filing system. Instead of jumping onto one of the ledges, I just looked around, trying to figure out a way to read the system and then work within it. The process of examining the portal didn’t take as much energy from me as did the complete decent; the process and filing system became clearer. Even though I had little control, I was gaining a deeper understanding of the big picture.

My energy not depleting as fast; I was allowed to take a thorough look about and gain a modicum of understanding about how I could pick and choose who, when, and where I wanted to focus my attention. Time didn’t seem to exist in that cylindrical portal but eventually my eyes opened.

I was alone in my room. I tested my eyes, I could see fine. I tested the strength in my arms and legs. I could move just fine, as a matter of fact, I felt as though I had boundless energy.

Calling Charlie was a natural response.

“Woman,” Charlie answered.

“You got a problem?”

“No,” I said.

“I’m fine. Did you see anything different that time?”

“What time?”

Charlie sounded confused.

“Just now,” I said.

“Woman, I just spoke to you. You haven’t had time to go anywhere yet.”

It was my turn to be confused.

“Charlie, are you telling me that no time has passed since we last spoke?”

“A minute or two,” Charlie clarified.

As one try does not an experiment make I looked at Ricky to see if she would allow me another trip and was pleased to see her particles dancing all around me. The red spark jumped and so did I.

From the beginning of that ride, I slowed my decent and then took my time to examine what I could of the portal. Slowly turning around to follow a single file within the intricate system took concentration; the thread was so easily dropped. I thought of a random date and then searched for it. When the process took too long, out of frustration, I repeated the date as though I were telling someone – what, did I think I was at the reference desk of a Library?

The portal seemed to spin around me and then stopped and the date I was thinking of was right in front of me. The date I chose was the day of my sister’s wedding to Sam. If I wanted to I could find out Sam’s true intention or what Michael was thinking when we let the wave hit us about a dozen times or I could see what motivated Gene Handy to hate me so much. The possibilities were nearly endless but I took no rides that day. Understanding was my focus and I continued to explore within that chamber the intricate and delicate system for using the red spark portal.

Time and time again I thought of a date and then the cylinder would spin around until the date was in front of me and the list of individuals within that date became easy access for me. When I actually chose to go someplace specific there would be no confusion and no delay.

After what seemed like hours and hours my eyes opened and I called Charlie again.

“Woman, you got a problem?”

“No lover, I was just wondering if you were still monitoring me.”

“I gotcha.”

Charlie assured me.

“So how long was I out?”

“Woman, I just talked to you maybe 5 minutes ago.”

“Charlie we got some stuff to talk about when you get home. Are you coming home for lunch?”

The excitement was nearly too much for me. If I had indeed been gone only for a few minutes, there needed to be some serious thought given to the fact that I was within that cylindrical chamber for an extended amount of time but no time passed within our reality.

“Can I have you then?” Charlie had a playful tone in his voice that made me smile with expectation.

“Damn straight, we’ll have each other.” I giggled.

When Charlie got home, he found me in the kitchen finishing up the preparations for our lunch. He swept me up in his arms.

“I have another kind of hunger right now Woman’” Charlie said.

We satisfied our need for each other but we knew that to be a daily exercise that we both enjoyed and looked forward at each effort. When I heard Charlie’s tummy complain for lack of food, I took action for my man.

“Come on Lover, I made us a nice lunch and I can tell that you are ready for it.”

Taking Charlie’s hand we headed for the kitchen and the awaiting repast. Charlie grabbed my robe so that he could concentrate on his food.

While we ate our egg salad sandwiches and drank iced tea I told Charlie about the discrepancy in time and that I’d been in the red spark portal for quite some time but none of it registered within our reality.

Charlie, just like me, didn’t know what to do with that information. But I knew what to do with the knowledge I’d gained from my time inside that filing system.

“When Michael is here after the premiere we’ll make decisions about where and when and who for our red spark travel. Using the information gained today, we’ll be more specific and focused with our use of the travel.”

Charlie was more into the sandwich than the red spark information.

“Woman, good sandwich, my favorite,” he mummbled.

The next day we prepared to go to the premiere of the PBS special. Charlie was wearing a new suit that I’d just finished hemming the night before and I was wearing a new gown that I’d only finished just that very morning.

“Lordy Lover, you are so handsome and delicious looking that I’m afraid to take you out there for other women to see. Please remember that you love me, ok?”

“Ok,” Charlie said.

We were ready when our ride arrived. To my surprise and delight, I felt the fingers of the reconnect reaching out to me from the limo. Michael and Lu were inside. Glad that I had my camera because I made good use of it.

Our hook up was nearly overwhelming and made us all sigh. We were glad once again that we were together, connected, and strong. Michael and Lu showed Charlie more consideration than they had in the past. Lu told him how handsome he looked and Michael asked if the suit was comfortable. They both said that they were glad that he was along, especially as they could see how happy it made me.

Once we were settled for the ride to San Francisco Michael poured us each of glass of Champaign.

He wanted to toast the occasion.

“To best friends, to a terrific premiere, and a good time for all, cheers, thanks a lot, eh?” We all bumped glasses and gave honor to the toast by taking a hearty drink of the expensive beverage.

When the limo pulled up to the entrance of the theater, Charlie was the first out and he reached back to take my hand and assist me in the exit from the limo. Flash bulbs were going off constantly; we were both astounded that we were the ones being photographed. Charlie wrapped his arm around me protectively.

After I was out, Michael followed right on my heels and he assisted Lucy in her graceful exit from the limo. There were shouts for Michael and Lu. Charlie and I just followed the red carpet to get inside of the theatre as fast as we could. Michael and Lu, the professionals, took their time and let the cameras flash. They posed with each other and smiled and were friendly to everyone.

Once inside, we were ushered to our seats and the special began only minutes after. The four of us sat in the back of the theatre and were privy to the responses from the audience for each number. At the end of the second number I saw men and women alike dab their eyes from the emotion the song stirred in them and from the passionate delivery that Michael and I gave up for all the world to see.

In between songs we had our playful banter that brought laughter to the theatre. The two numbers that had long musical interludes allowed Michael and I to demonstrate our amazing dance skills. The dresses I’d chosen to wear for those two songs were meant to be danced in. I felt Charlie squeeze my hand to get my attention and when I looked at him, he was smiling from ear to ear and bent his head to kiss me. It felt like he was claiming me.

A couple of times during the show, Lu whispered to me that I was beautiful and sang like an angel. The audience also responded favorably with spontaneous applause on a number of occasions throughout the show. When the final number started Charlie squeezed my hand again and then smiled at me like he was proud of me. Michael and I gave that song the emotion it required and sang our hearts out. Glad that I wasn’t singing right at that point because there was a lump in my throat as big as my fist. I watched the effect the song had on our audience and was surprised to see that everyone in that theatre understood the meaning of the song and could somehow fit it into their own lives. There were more tears during that number than all the show combined but they were tears of satisfaction and joy over things turning out right. It was the perfect song to end the show.

When Michael and I took our final bows we were graced to see that audience jump to their feet and clap like there was no tomorrow. At first the audience applauded for the screen but soon we saw that people had turned to face us and were clapping for the live us. Charlie and Lu joined the rest of the audience and put their hands together in a salute to Michael and me. It was quite moving, really.

The best part for me was seeing how it all affected Charlie. His eyes were moist and filled with passion for me. I hugged him to me and he bent to kiss me right in front of the world.

At the party that followed, we ended up being part of a receiving line and got to speak to everyone who was at the premiere. My kids were there with dates and each was wearing ‘Three Women’ designs. They looked so handsome and of course, Margaret was stunningly beautiful in her gown. Denice and Sam were also a surprise to me. Sam was wearing his ‘signature suit’ that I designed for him and Denice, oh my god, Denice looked like she was a movie star. Her dress was one that I’d created for her some time back. She cooed over Michael and me and the great show. Rick and Amanda were right behind Denice and Sam. Rick said that he knew I was talented but he really had no idea as to the depth of that talent.

Also in that line were real movie stars and producers. David was there, of course, and had lovely words to say to us concerning our talent and the beautiful sound we made together. Charlie and I danced and tried to assuage our need for each other by being close and moving together in sensual and easy steps. The only time I left Charlie was when I was asked to dance by Michael or one of my boys.

While I was dancing with Kevin I looked at Charlie to let him know that I was thinking of him. I knew that he was uncomfortable in certain social situations. He was surrounded by young pretty women; all of them trying hard to get his individual attention. He smiled and pretty much did nothing else. When the dance was through I went to him. He reached for me as soon as I was within a few feet of him. He took possession of me and used me as a shield from all others. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me soundly in front of anyone who cared to look. When the music started again, he danced with me and wouldn’t let me go or let anyone cut in.

The hour was late when we finally got home. Michael and Lu retired to the guest room after I removed a sleeping Tut. Tut had a number of places that he slept so I just took him to the office, his second favorite place to sleep.

When Charlie and I were finally alone in our room, Charlie performed his clothing removal process; it took longer than usual. The process complete, Charlie sat on the edge of the bed and stood me right in front of him. He put his hands first on my breasts and then around my waist.

Looking me in the eyes he said.

“Watching you up on the screen, I thought about how lucky I am that you love me, nobody me.”

Not saying a word I moved in as close as I could get and when we couldn’t get any tighter, I whispered in his ear.

“To me you are everything. Can I have you now?”

“Oh woman, you stole my words.”

At that we caressed each other and loved each other in the tenderest way during that first go round. After that sometimes things got a little rough but I remember hoping that we weren’t too loud. We did have house guests who were just in the other room.

When the two of us had satisfied each other to the max, I decided that I needed nourishment and suggested that we make a middle of the night snack run to the kitchen. Charlie stopped me from leaving the room naked reminding me that we had others in the house.

Michael and Lu were of like mind for they were already in the kitchen checking out the contents of the ice box. They turned as soon as they felt the fingers of the reconnect reach them.

We got together for our hug and then I went right to the stove and made two giant batches of popcorn. As much as both Charlie and Michael loved popcorn, I knew one batch just wouldn’t be enough.

Glad that we were all up, Michael and I had a few things to discuss regarding our red spark travel planned for the following day. While the four of us munched away on the popcorn I explained what I’d learned about the red spark portal and the cylindrical column that lead to the decent and distant history and to the ledges and layered files. I asked Michael to think of a day that he wanted to visit and the person that he wanted to focus on within that day.

It was important that Michael understood that I was aware of his need to allow people their privacy and that the only thing that we wanted to see was intent or pervasive attitude, or a person’s motivation, and the bigger picture. I told him that I could steer clear of individual thought.

When I was finished with my explanation, Michael seemed at a loss for words and had almost no questions.

“Has the ‘down time’ changed?” Michael was asking if I’d gotten the process down so that it didn’t take so much ‘real time’ from us.

“The farther the decent, the longer time it takes. If you don’t travel too far back in time then it won’t take as long.”

“Can you show me the system without taking an actual trip?”

Michael was getting the picture of what the portal was like and wanted to see it first so that he could gather his own true understanding. Caution was smart and since I’d already pioneered my way through the learning process it would be easy to show it to Michael.

For the entire conversation up to a point, Lucy was quiet. When there was no one speaking for a few seconds Lu asked her question.

“Elena, when you and Michael go to space, what do Charlie and I do?”

Lu was used to getting an assignment during experiments. She liked to help and to do her part.

With an adoring look at Charlie, I explained.

“Charlie has set up a monitoring system, a camera to keep an eye on us while we are out of commission. Maybe you could assist him – more eyes on us to see if we are in trouble would be good.”

“Elena, how can you get into trouble?”

Lu looked at Michael with a worried expression on her face.

“There’s no way that I can say for sure that we won’t have difficulties. Lucy these are experiments that I’ve never known anyone else to be involved in so we are playing it by ear.”

I stopped to see if she understood that what we were doing was not without risk, even though I couldn’t say what the risk might be.

“As an observer, it will be important for you to note any changes. You could help us understand the time issue with this experiment. When we’re under, you can be timing how long each trip takes. Is that something you think you can handle?”

Lu smiled her cooperation and understanding.

During our conversation Charlie didn’t say anything. He watched me and listened to the explanation I presented to Lu. At one point he laid his large hand over mine for support.

It was nearly morning when we parted for a few hours sleep. We were all in good moods and excited about the plan.

Charlie and I talked for a few minutes before we made love and fell asleep wrapped up in each other. After two sleep cycles, about three hours, I got up and left Charlie snoring gently.

The sun was just breaking the horizon when I took my coffee to the garden. I was there as usual first to think and then to gather the freshest produce available. Our breakfast would be hearty and satisfying.

Just as I was about to give a toast to the day, I felt Michael’s approach and stopped before I actually got started and waited for him to join me. He set his cup on the table and then put out his arms for me and we hugged up and sighed.

“Oh my God Baby, I can never get used to how good this feels. Even if I’m a mess and the rest of the world is going mad, I can always count on you fixing it all with a single hug.”

“Baby, that’s back atcha,” I whispered.

“You know,” Michael continued.

“Our combined voice is a gift to the world but wouldn’t it be better if we could give this feeling to the world?”

We didn’t drop our hook up and I heard Michael chuckle.

“Helen, you are my drug of choice.”

Before we sat, Michael raised his coffee to the sun and made the toast for the day.

“To gaining greater understanding and appreciation , cheers, thanks a lot, eh.”

We sat quietly for a few minutes before Michael spoke again.

“I’ve decided on a date for our destination and I want to see the bigger picture. Does that narrow it down too much for you?”

“We’ll first go to examine the portal before we actually take the trip so that you can see what we’re dealing with in regards to just how intricate and complicated the system really is. It’ll matter how close and connected we are when we jump. The last time you wrapped up at the last minute and I think that may have caused some issues with how it felt for me to be in the portal. It was as though I were carrying you piggy back around my neck. I’d like to avoid that for this trip.”

“You can tell how nervous I was but I’ll try to relax this time.”

“Michael, I’ve given this a lot of thought and I think the best position for us when we jump is to be side by side holding hands with our fingers laced. It’s a really strong connection for us.”

“I’m the student; I’ll abide by what the teacher tells me to do.”

He smiled at me and then we began to gather the produce that the garden dropped for us.

The four of us made a great breakfast of omelets and because Charlie requested, biscuits and gravy.

Tut greeted us with his extremely loud whistle that nearly scared the life out of Lu and with his “Helen squawk, Helen, I love you Helen.”

Before Tut even knew that we had company he came strutting into the dining room with his wings spanned out to give me what he knew I loved to see.

“Hey, hey good lookin’, I’ve missed you pretty boy.”

I called to him from the table

Right then Tut saw Michael and Lu at the table and stopped before he actually got to us. “Shit, shit, shit,” he barked in Miles’ gruff voice. He drew in his wings and came to me in kind of a march as though he were pissed off.

“Tut, you remember Michael? Please be gracious to my friends.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah asshole.”

Tut gave his acknowledgement and pushed his head into me to get the attention he knew I’d give him.

Michael addressed Tut.

“Hey, Tut it’s good to see you again.”

Tut took that as an invitation and strutted over to Michael to get physical attention from him. Michael responded by giving Tut exactly what he wanted. After that, Tut made the rounds and got attention from each of us before he was satisfied.

After breakfast we all excused ourselves to the privacy of our own rooms and to get ready for the day. We planned to meet back in my room for the experiments at 11:00 – when Tut took his first nap for the day.

Charlie and I showered together and enjoyed the best time, laughing constantly except for the brief moments when we were serious and no longer playful in order to endure our release. We stepped out of the shower laughing and clean. Charlie dried me and I did the same for him. My job was much bigger than his and ended up bringing back his woody. When I saw that, I jumped into his arms and wrapped my legs around him in an effort to claim him.

He took me to bed where we worked it until both of us voiced our satisfaction and relief. Eventually we got dressed and invited Tut to be with us. Charlie played his guitar and Tut assisted. While Charlie kept Tut happy, I cleaned up the room and ran through the chores for that morning. I always felt better when my work was done before I did any traveling, red spark or otherwise.

At 11 o’clock, on the button, Tut went to the office for his morning nap and Michael and Lu met Charlie and me in my room. It was a bit odd having Charlie and Lu watch as Michael and I climbed into the middle of my bed and aligned our bodies close to each other and then laced our fingers in a very satisfying and close contact.

Looking at Lu, Charlie said, “We don’t have to be in here to monitor; come on, I’ll show you.”

They went to the living room where Charlie had wired the camera so that they could see us on the living room widescreen TV.

When Ricky presented her particles, we waited until we saw red.

“At first, just a look-see, ok,” I said.

Michael just nodded his head.

“Now,” I said and then I jumped; Michael jumped with me.

Again for me, I could feel the downward pull but was able to retard any decent. Michael was with me and I could feel our connectedness and was fearless with protection for him. In a hovering position for the tutorial, I insinuated a date into the situation so that Michael would be privy to the way the chamber worked. The chamber spun around us and stopped at the date that was my destination. Allowing Michael to see all around the portal and its layers, to recognize the ledges and the sections in time and the individual dates was necessary for his complete understanding. Even though it seemed like it was taking a long time I didn’t pay any attention to that. I pointed out the individual names within a certain date. When I’d showed him everything that I knew about, I repeated the process.

We both opened our eyes into the eyes of the other looking back. I called to Charlie and he and Lu came to us.

“How much time has passed?” I asked.

Charlie looked at his watch and dutifully responded.

“2 minutes and 15 seconds.”

Michael couldn’t keep quiet.

“Helen, how could that be, we were in the portal for what seemed like hours while you showed me the system.”

“Yeah, it’s a strange phenomenon but, like I told you last night, no time seems to pass while we are hovering within the portal and not descending.”

“Well have you got your date chosen for our actual travel?”

“I want to see the day that the band first played the music through you at the Marin Center. Is that possible?”

Michael made his choice.

With just a nod I gave him all that he needed to know.

“Ok, we’ve got a date, incident, and a person; let’s see what we can do. We don’t want to hear people’s thoughts; we’re looking for the big picture, am I right?”

“Right,” Michael said.

When Ricky presented her particles and the red sparks could be seen, I simply said, “Now,” and we jumped.

Within the portal our decent was confusing and I could tell that Michael nearly lost it as his need for control gripped me. We were at our destination within the chamber and could clearly see the ledge for the day and then the names and the incident. With Michael gripping me I maneuvered on to that particular ledge and then we were there seeing what Michael had missed the first go round. We actually were witness to an arching energy of sorts that went from Michael who was on the periphery of the picture to the entire band and then that same arc jumped to me and was the first contact of the band and the drummers down beat. After that we saw that as each of the band members caught on to what was happening, they joined the fun without even trying.

I heard a strange and distant, maybe cosmic voice from within that whole experience.

“She must gain something as payment for her suffering. He’ll continue to need her.”

After I heard the voice all went black.

My eyes opened to see Michael looking back at me. His eyes were liquid with need for me. Neither one of us said anything. We were still close to each other and our connection was strong. Even though neither one of us could move, that only lasted a few minutes.

Charlie came to me and took me out of Michael’s arms and held me to help me gain my strength back. Lu saw what Charlie was doing with me and went to Michael and crawled up next to him and wrapped herself around him. The four of us were quiet and thoughtful.

When my arms were my own again, I drew them up and around Charlie’s neck and wiggled in close to him and whispered in his ear.

“Thank you, Lover. How long did that take.”

“Exactly three hours. Are you hungry woman?”

Charlie was taking care of me.

“Before we eat, can I have you now?”

I whispered in his ear.

Charlie just shook his head and then kissed me like he wanted me to know that he loved me and wanted me too but no, we couldn’t have each other right then.

Charlie took the lead and spoke to everyone in the room.

“Come on, we fixed food.”

He then set me down to test my legs but decided that he should carry me anyway. I liked that and teased him with my kisses and bites on his neck.

At the dining room table, set for the four of us, Charlie set me down in front of my own place setting and then continued to the kitchen. Michael sat across from me and Lu followed Charlie.

Leaning in to me, Michael reached across the table and took my hand, willing me to make eye contact with him. Our reconnect was lovely and the eye-contact reconnect a boost, an additional gift that felt so loving; I nearly cried from it. We both stood and walked around the table and collided into each other to comfort and to be comforted.

I could feel Michael’s body jump slightly from his short sobs, the relief was just that intense. When Lu joined our hug she felt it too and could not hold her tears. I seemed to be the strong one and was able to maintain until the balance and calm insinuated itself into the three of us.

When I looked over to Charlie, he saw my need for him and came to me. Removing me from the 3-person huddle, he wrapped himself around me in the most protective, comforting and soothing embrace.

There, before we sat to eat, the four of us took solace and comfort from within the wrapped arms of our own loves. I remember thinking that we were such a soft and fragile species and that if Michael and I were going to do much traveling together we’d have to learn to buck up.

When Charlie and Lu thought that we would be ok, they left us at the table to finish the meal preparations.

During that short period before they brought the burgers to the table Michael had a few things to say.

“Baby, I love you and I am sorry. I’ll honestly try not to be a burden on you in the future but if you heard what I heard, you know that I’m meant to need you, right?”

“Michael, can we talk about it later? We need to first piece it together within our own heads. Let’s set a time to discuss the trip and it’s implications at least it can wait until after we’ve had the meal that Charlie and Lu fixed for us, ok?”

Those burgers were awesome and not just because we were so hungry but because they were Charlie’s specialty. When I ate them I could feel Charlie’s love in every bite.

“Michael,” Lu said.

“Charlie taught me to make, good no?”

“Yeah, really good.”

Michael agreed.

“And these fries, I’ve never tasted any French fries as good as these.”

Those French fries were a recipe that Charlie and I’d created together.

Charlie looked at Michael and then at Lu after Michael had praised the fries.

“Lu did those.” Charlie offered.

It’s always amazing to me how a smile can make a face better but when Lu smiled, her whole being lit up and we all kind of bathed in the beauty of it as it glowed off of her. She reminded me of Denice in that way. Lu was proud that Michael liked what she cooked.

After the four of us shared the responsibility of cleaning up the remains of the meal, Michael and Lu left through the front door holding hands.

“Back in a bit, I’ve got my phone if you need us.”

Michael threw the words over his shoulder to both Charlie and me.

When the door closed, Charlie wrapped me up in his arms and kissed me the way a lover kisses. He was really good at that. We would have loved to make out for the next couple of hours but instead we put aside our lust for each other and gave Tut the attention that he needed. I say that he needed the attention because he was a bird ‘entitled’. At least that seemed to be his perception because he would give all kinds of attitude if he thought we were neglecting him. He could get annoyingly loud which would break me quickly but not Charlie; Charlie could be just as annoyingly loud as could Tut. So, I made it my goal to treat Tut like the king he was.

As a duo, Charlie and I gave Tut all that he wanted. We pet him and scratched him and stroked our finger nails down through his tail feathers. We told him of his beauty and let him know how much we loved him. When Tut was finished with our praise he asked his own questions. They were usually one word names like, ‘Michael?’ and within that one word Tut asked a multitude of questions. Basically he wanted an up-date on Michael. Either Charlie or I would give him some information and then he’d ask his next one-word question, ‘Denice?’ and again, one of us would fill him in on what we knew.

Awhile back we were playing the question game with Tut and Tut said, ‘Miles?’ and stopped me dead in my tracks even though Tut and I had discussed Miles’ leaving. Charlie answered the question.

“Miles is the same, he’s moved on, and he’s safe.”

Sometimes the game would last for a few names and Tut would loose interest but other times, Tut would go through every person he’d ever met. Many of them I didn’t know and would try to question Tut about them but he’d get moody if I couldn’t answer so I’d say something like, ‘No change’.

That particular day Tut was only interested in the girls and only a few girls, at that: Denice, Margaret, Kathy, and Amanda. When the game was over, Tut and Charlie screeched at each other and then Tut came to me for his kiss and walked out of the room, headed for his nap bobbing his head and whistling all the way.

“Can I have you now?”

Charlie said softly in my ear as he came up to me from behind. He didn’t wait for me to actually say anything before we were in our bedroom with the door locked.

“You’ve teased me enough woman.”

That was all Charlie had to say before he removed our clothes. It all worked for me. Charlie wanted me all the time; yeah, that worked for me.

Eventually I got practical and remembered that I needed to do the laundry which got us both out of bed and dressed. I went to deal with the laundry and Charlie headed for the kitchen again. We met up in the dining room so that we could fold the linens together.

As we were finishing the folding Michael and Lu came out of the guest room and made their presence known. We hugged up and welcomed the balance and the added peace.

Michael and I headed for the ‘Pinky bank’ for our discussion regarding the 3 hour trip we’d taken earlier while Charlie and Lu were left to entertain one another.

After we’d packed and dusted a bowl, Michael started the conversation and I was glad of that because I really didn’t know what he wanted to discuss the process or the destination and outcome.

He started with what he saw.

“I could see the band and then me in the back and in the front I could see you. Is that what you saw, too?”

“Yeah,” I answered.

“There seemed to be an electrical arc that went from me to the band and then from the individual instruments to you. Is that what you saw?”

“Yeah,” I answered again.

“At the end, the voice, the ‘over-lord’ type voice. Did you hear the voice?”

“Yeah,” I answered again.

“Do you remember what the voice said?” Michael asked.

“Yeah,” I answered again.

Michael repeated.

“’She must gain something as payment for her suffering.’ Did you hear that?”

Again, I answered, “Yeah.”

“And the final thing that I heard was, ‘He’ll continue to need her.’ Is that what you heard?”

“Yeah,” my final answer.

“Well, have you suffered?” Michael asked.

“Don’t put me on the ‘hot seat’ because of what you saw. Also, it wouldn’t be a good idea to ask me a question unless you really want the truth.”

“I want the truth,” Michael demanded.

“Ok then, yes, I suffered. Trying to live without you and without our connection was painful and not just a debilitating physical pain but a deep emotional pain that was scaring and left me with fear and doubt.”

Michael sat there with a sad look in his eyes.

“Michael we can both be sad if that’s what you want but I’d prefer to look at what we’ve got and the positive which helps to legitimate the pain of the past, to recognize it and then let it go. I am a happy person and so are you most of the time.”

“You’ve had some time to see this stuff Baby, give me a chance to catch up, ok?”

“Ok, what I take from this date and the quote, unquote grand design is that that was the second time, that we know of, that you and I were bound with cosmic words. I told you about the first time. We are observers, there is nothing either one of us can do to influence what has already happened. But know this; we are not without influence on what will yet happen.”

I thought for a moment and then continued.

“From what I’ve seen, as the observer, over and over again; things change. It seems that everything is in some kind of flux and most things really aren’t stationary.”

“It’s a challenge to keep an open mind when you hear the voice of god, or whatever say that you have caused another pain. Perhaps, there’s penance to be paid, maybe that’s what I’m morose about.”

Michael spoke out loud to help him understand.

“Excuse me, but from what I heard, you were given a penance to pay in that you’d be in pain without me, still.”

When we exhausted the topic of my suffering and his needing me we discussed whether or not that type of travel could be of value. We talked about what the red chamber looked like and I asked the question to the universe as well as to Michael.

“If I can hover and not descend then how crazy would it be to think that I could also ascend and therefore move forward in time?”

“Oh my God Helen, what are thinking?”

Michael was getting excited and his fear was showing.

“You know exactly what I’m thinking. I’m thinking that we may also be able to visit the future as things are changing and re-laid out minute by minute.”

“Let’s table this discussion for now and go see what Charlie and Lu are up to, ok?”

Maybe Michael had reached his ‘weird’ limit and needed a break.

At that we left the ‘Pinky bank’ and found Charlie and Lu in the living room with guitars and Tut between them going from guitar to guitar plucking the strings that matched the song they were playing. Both Lu and Charlie were laughing at that crazy bird when they saw that he was kind of dancing between guitars and bobbing his head to his internal beat.

When Lu saw us, she begged.

“Watch this, Michael, watch this. Help me Charlie.”

Charlie coaxed.

“Hey Tut, whatcha wanna play?”

“Baby, That’s Back Atcha.”

Tut used Michael’s voice.

Then the three of them strummed the strings for that song, Charlie and Lu sang it with Tut chiming in every now and then while he plucked at the strings. Before the song was over all of us were laughing and harmonizing.

At exactly 8 o’clock Tut came to me for his good night kisses and then to Charlie for the same. Together, we walked him into the office to say good night. We were indulgent of that bird, no doubt.

We left Tut to his dreams and went into the kitchen to see what Charlie had been up to that made the house smell so good. The big pot of chili was simmering and nearly ready for us. Charlie asked me to make corn bread to go with it. In less than a half hour we were sitting at the dining room table enjoying Charlie’s chili accompanied by my corn bread and the very best strawberry milkshakes ever made. The strawberries were plentiful, ripe, and delicious from the garden; Charlie had to use them.

Michael’s weight gain didn’t get past me and when I had a moment alone with Lu I asked her if she’d noticed that Michael was putting on extra pounds again. She said that she’d planned to mention it to me and ask if I’d agree to ‘kiss and go’.

After we’d said good night, Charlie and I went to our room and Michael and Lu went to the guest room. I got into some night clothes and then I went to the guest room to make the transfer. The process was the same. Even though Michael and I had not been together to allow the wave to hit us and build in intensity I was astounded at how strong the wave was and how long it lasted. There was no preparation that I could have made to ease the pain that tearing away from Michael caused.

I left them to each other and slipped out of their room and then into the waiting arms of Charlie. His strong arms were comforting and he allowed me to just snuggle up and be still for a bit as he held me and kissed me.

“Charlie, my love, tell me again that you love me.” I pleaded in his ear.

Charlie pulled me in tighter to him for a sweet bear hug and then laid me down on my back and looked down at me, our bodies close. He cupped my face with his big hand.

“Woman, I love you with my life, I will never leave you; you are my true love.”

The pain of separation from Michael became distant as Charlie wrapped me in his love and teased me with his lips. After that he kissed me silly and reminded me of what we had together. He gave me pleasure just by hearing his tiny and quiet high pitched moan as our bodies joined.

We couldn’t get enough of each other and it wasn’t difficult for him to accommodate me when I asked.

“Can you do that again please, Charlie?”

My last words were completely drunk with love and need and gratitude.

“I love you Charlie; I’ve never been happier than right now with you.”