Читать книгу Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus - Джон Грей - Страница 17

One of the biggest differences between men and women is how they cope with stress. Men become increasingly focused and withdrawn while women become increasingly overwhelmed and emotionally involved. At these times, a man’s needs for feeling good are different from a woman’s. He feels better by solving problems while she feels better by talking about problems. Not understanding and accepting these differences creates unnecessary friction in our relationships. Let’s look at a common example.

When Tom comes home, he wants to relax and unwind by quietly reading the news. He is stressed by the unsolved problems of his day and finds relief through forgetting them.

His wife, Mary, also wants to relax from her stressful day. She, however, wants to find relief by talking about the problems of her day. The tension slowly building between them gradually becomes resentment.

Tom secretly thinks Mary talks too much, while Mary feels ignored. Without understanding their differences they will grow further apart.

You probably can recognize this situation because it is just one of many examples where men and women are at odds. This problem is not just Tom and Mary’s but is present in almost every relationship.

Solving this problem for Tom and Mary depends not on how much they loved each other but on how much they understood the opposite sex.

Without knowing that women really do need to talk about problems to feel better, Tom would continue to think Mary talked too much and resist listening to her. Without knowing that Tom was reading the news to feel better, Mary would feel ignored and neglected. She would persist in trying to get him to talk when he didn’t want to.

These two differences can be resolved by first understanding in greater detail how men and women cope with stress. Let’s again observe life on Mars and Venus and glean some insights about men and women.