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Chapter 3

In which the knight and his squire enter a castle that was really a country inn

I helped the knight get his stuff packed up on his horse.

Then he turned to me and said, “I must get on my way. Will you come with me to help me find a castle so we can have lodging for the night?”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t come with you. I have to figure out how to get home. And besides, I don’t have a horse, and I’m pretty sure there aren’t any castles in this neighborhood.”

“Nonsense! I can see a castle at the top of yon hill. It is there we will go. And of course you have a horse. He is just there in the thicket, taking shade from the sun.”

The knight was right. I could see a large stone building a couple of miles down the road. But there was something wrong. There weren’t any other buildings between us and the castle. I knew there were farms and things about a half-hour’s drive outside of Boise, but I had been in the library downtown. The library is surrounded by buildings. I couldn’t figure out where I was and how I got here. But sure enough, when I turned around and looked in the bushes, I saw a small horse standing there looking back at me. At least I thought it was a horse, but when I walked closer, I saw it was a donkey.

“Hey, fella,” I said, as the donkey started to nuzzle up against my arm.

“Make haste, my good man! Mount your faithful steed, and follow as I lead the way on Rocinante. And beware of dragons and other beasts, for these are wild parts.”

I figured that wherever we were, riding the donkey would probably be faster than walking, so I hopped on the donkey’s back. He was easy to ride, and didn’t need much leading—he just followed wherever the knight’s horse went.

Apparently Rocinante was the name of the knight’s horse, but I didn’t know the name of the donkey. His coat was white, but it had all kinds of round blotches scattered over it, some of them tan and others darker brown. All at once I realized that these spots and this donkey were exactly what a vocabulary word I had learned in English class last week was supposed to mean. Mr. Priestly had explained that a “dapple” is a roundish spot of color. It can also mean an animal that has these spots on its coat. I had only remembered this because my mom had given me flash cards to study before the vocabulary quiz. This donkey was a “dapple”. So that’s what I named him—Dapple.

“Pardon me, Sir Knight—if that’s what I’m supposed to call you—but could you please tell me just who you are and where we are going.”

“My fine fellow—I am Don Quixote of La Mancha, knight errant, and defender of all unfortunate souls who are in need of help. And we are going where fortune leads us. That is the call of the true knight errant.”

“Well, Mr. Quixote—I mean, ah, Sir Don. I never heard of a knight who runs errands.”

“Not a knight who runs errands, you scoundrel. I am a knight errant! Perhaps you had thought, as many have, that knights errant no longer exist. It is true there are few of us left. One of the world’s greatest needs is for more knights errant. This is my quest, the reason I do battle—it is to revive knight errantry.”

Wait a minute! If this guy calls himself Don Quixote and he thinks he’s a knight, then he must be the guy in the book I was reading! But that can’t be. The guy in the book lived in Spain, and we’re in Boise. And besides, the book said he lived hundreds of years ago.

“Sir Don, could you please tell me what’s going on. What are you doing in Boise? And what the heck is a knight errant?”

“I know of no Boise in the region of La Mancha. I can tell you, though, that a knight errant is one who reflects the true heart of chivalry. He knows that throughout this land there is injustice. In every town and village there are people who suffer at the hands of the doers of evil. Sometimes it is other knights who have fallen from The Way who do the evil, sometimes it is monsters or other wicked beasts. It is the duty and the privilege of a knight errant to wander the land, ever alert to come to the aid of the defenseless. There are many who would say that there is no longer a need for knights errant. But they speak falsely! It is the never-ending duty of a true knight errant to seek justice and work for good, despite what others say. They may call me ‘fool’ for believing as I do. But I will continue on my quest no matter what they say. I do this in honor of the fair Dulcinea.”

“Who’s that?”

“Dulcinea is the princess in whose name I pursue my quest. All true knights errant have a fair maiden in whose name and for whose honor they seek to overcome injustice. She lives in El Toboso, a village not far from my home. Her beauty is greater than any other maiden. She possesses all the attributes of beauty that poets try to capture in their verse. Her hair is golden; her eyes are like suns, and her eyebrows like rainbows. Her cheeks are the color of roses, her lips coral, and her teeth pearls. Her neck is as smooth as fine marble and her hands like ivory.”

“Are you married to her?”

“Oh, no, no, no. I am neither married to her nor engaged. In truth of fact, I have never actually met her, and I fear she does not know my name. But I have it on good report that she is all the things I describe, and I am the most fortunate knight in all the world to have a maiden such as she to honor with my deeds.”

“You mean you’ve never even met her? Then how do you know she wants you to be her knight?”

“Just as it is the duty of all knights errant to seek out injustice wherever it may be, so it is the unquestionable duty of all true maidens to look upon those knights with favor. She approves, I am sure, because what I do is right, and I believe in it.”

I thought about what Sir Don had said. I only wished my mom could hear all this. She’s so against knights, and yet she’s always talking about believing in justice for everyone and standing up for what’s right. But I knew that if she found out that I was talking to a real knight (and a kind of a strange one at that), she’d probably be upset. And I wasn’t even sure he was real. Maybe I fell asleep in the library, and I’m dreaming all this.

I rubbed my eyes to make sure I was awake. Doing that reminded me—Mom was expecting me home by 4:30, and I was going to be late. And I’d left my cell phone at home.

“Excuse me, Sir Don, but I need to call my mom. Can I borrow your cell phone?

He got a funny look on his face. “What is this you speak of? I know of no cells in these parts. And why would your mother be in a cell? Has she done something wrong?”

“No, she’s not in a cell—she’s at her office. I just need a phone to call her.”

“Young man, you speak words that have no meaning for me. I do not have, nor have I ever heard of such a thing. Accompany me to the nearest castle, where we will find lodging. Perhaps they can help you find this thing you seek.”

I figured I’d just have to find a phone to call Mom somewhere else. We rode on together in silence for quite a while. Then Sir Don looked over at me.

“You know who I am, but I know not who you might be, and how you have come to these parts. What might be your name?”

“I’m Sandy… Sandy Preston. I live here—at least I think I do. The last thing I knew before I heard you getting into a fight with the salesmen, I was sitting in the library in Boise.”

“Well, Sandy, it is clear you are in need of help to find this ‘Boise’ you speak of. I will assist you in your quest to do so. Until we find it, you may accompany me as my squire.”

I didn’t want to be his squire. All I wanted to do was figure out how to get home before Mom got mad at me. We kept on riding, and after a couple of miles we came within sight of the building Sir Don had pointed to earlier. Getting up close, I could see that it wasn’t a castle, but instead some sort of country inn—and not a very nice one. When I told Sir Don that it was an inn and not a castle, he turned red in the face and swore it was a castle, as any true knight should recognize. I didn’t want to argue with him—I just wanted to find a phone to call my mom—so I pretended to agree.

When we rode up to the front of the inn, the owner looked at us with a funny expression.

“Good sir, you have many welts and bruises. How did this happen?”.

Sir Don said that he had fallen off his horse onto some rocks. I guess he was worried the innkeeper wouldn’t believe the story about the knights in black armor. When the innkeeper’s wife came out and saw how bruised and battered Sir Don was, she asked her husband to help him off his horse. Then she put her arm in his and took him to a room. With her daughter holding a lantern for light, she washed all Sir Don’s bruises and scrapes and put some sort of ointment on them. After this treatment, Sir Don felt quite a bit better.

“Thank you, dear lady. I shall bear the services you have done me eternally inscribed in my memory, so that I may remain grateful to you all the days of my life. Now could you help me but a bit more by seeing to the needs of my faithful squire, Sandy. He wishes to know if you have anywhere in this castle a device he calls a ‘cell phone’.”

The woman and her daughter snickered when Sir Don called their inn a castle, but they had a completely blank look about the cell phone. “Dear Sir knight, what ever you need we will gladly share with you and your squire, but I know not of what you speak. What is this ‘cell phone’?”

“You know, you use it to talk to someone who isn’t here. But if you don’t have a cell phone, maybe I can use your landline. Remember? The one with wires and a dial tone?”

They just stared at me. No matter how I tried to describe it, it finally became clear to me that they had never heard of a telephone, and they certainly didn’t have one.

There was no way I could figure out to let Mom know where I was. Since it was getting dark outside, I figured I had better spend the night here with Sir Don, and find my way back home tomorrow. I knew my mom would be really worried. I hoped she wouldn’t call the police to tell them I had run away, or even worse, that someone had kidnapped me. What would the cops do to Sir Don if they found him taking me away? What would Mom say? I just hoped she would understand when I told her what had happened.