Читать книгу Positive Parenting Book: Everything You Need to Know to Have Happy and Well-Behaved Child - Dorothy Inc. Howard - Страница 6

“Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they think of you.” - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

No one ever said that raising a child was going to be easy. We all wish that every child came with a User’s Manual. Unfortunately they do not. We checked.

Each child is like clay. When it arrives, it is just a giant ball. Through proper guidance, it can be crafted into a magnificent piece of art. The clay has to be nurtured through each phase until it is a finished product. If left alone before it is completed, the clay may weaken and lead to the masterpiece falling apart. If given to a new artist, it may be rendered with a few mistakes in it.

When a new baby arrives, it is in its’ most pliable state. Its’ personality is still being developed and is being constantly molded by what the newborn sees and hears around it.

The job of parents is to take what has already been formed and turn it into a well-rounded adult. It is important to remember through each phase the kid goes through that the child is still developing. The child will often, through their own level of maturity, do things that will test the patience of its’ parents.

The child is constantly developing and redefining what is known as “Right” and “Wrong”. Therefore, it is important for parents to remember that their role is more of a “Guider” than a “Dictator”.

So let us move on to the first lesson…

“It All Begins With You!”

If you are expecting your first child, congratulations!

But if you have already given birth, the odds are that you know that you had no idea what you were really in for when your child was born. The truth is that no one really does with their first child. It’s like the artist and the clay. The new artist will render the sculpture with a few mistakes in it. They surely don’t mean to do this. It is simply just the artist learning the many ways in which not to make a sculpture.

So the point here is that as a parent, you will make mistakes with your first child simply because you don’t know what you are in for. There is nothing wrong with that. You are also learning how to parent your children.

The fact that you have acquired this book and have read it this far means that you are serious about making changes in your home so that you can live in peace and harmony and raise a loving family. This book is an attempt to give you a clean slate and show you some things that have worked for other parents in raising well rounded adults.

We begin the transition with the most important lesson in the book…you.

Here are the key factors in changing yourself so that your children will be able to grow up to be well rounded adults:

Children are sponges. They soak up everything. If you don’t want your child to watch bad movies or use foul language, then make sure they do not see you watching them or using foul language.

Remember, you are their role model. As a role model, it is important for you to uphold the same kind of integrity that you would like for your children to have. If you would like to have your kids be more charitable, then have them help you do something that is charitable.

If there is someone in need of a home cooked meal, then have your kids help cook the meal and take it to that person. Your kids will enjoy spending the time with you. They will also learn through first-hand experience, the importance of doing things for other people and will hopefully grow to love it as well.

You need to decide from the very beginning how to raise your children. What will be important? What tendencies do you want to carry on? What tendencies do you not want to carry on?

Remember that history repeats itself. If you do not want your children to go through the trials and tribulations of alcoholism, divorce, and so forth, then you need to make sure those elements are removed from your life.

The lesson here is to make peace with your past, first. Once you do that, you can help steer your children around these potential problems.

Make your children your top priority. In today’s society, it has become increasingly difficult to find time as a family to just sit around and talk.

We have gotten to the point where we can’t even get out of our cars to pick up fast food, because we are so busy hustling from one destination to the next.

Of course, you are busy because you want to give your children the best life they possibly can. But you never want to get to the point in which your children cannot come to you with questions because you are too busy.

So make it a point to have an open conversation with your entire family every night. The dinner table is a great place to do this. You will find that your children will actually become excited while talking about the things that happened to them during the day and will feel more comfortable coming to you to ask questions.

Do not argue in front of your kids. No parent is perfect. While undesired, arguments can tend to raise their ugly heads every once in a while.

Do not lose control. Your children can sense when you are getting upset. The tone of your voice and often your facial expressions will change.

Keeping your cool shows your children that you are in control. (You should always be labeled by your kids as “in control”. After all, you’re the head of the house, right?) If you have to debate something with your spouse, take the argument somewhere in which the children will not overhear your conversation.

Maintain a strong marriage. As we stated earlier in this chapter, it is true that history repeats itself. The kids of parents that are divorced are more likely to end up in relationships that end in divorce versus children that grow up in a household where their biological parents are married to each other.

Children can sense when things are not going well. It is important for you and your spouse to spend some time alone together each and every week to keep the romance alive. Absolutely nothing can overlap your alone time with your spouse.

If your parents are looking for some quality time to spend with their grandkids, this night would be a great opportunity for you to drop them off at grandma and grandpa’s house.

Practice patience. If you are not patient, your child will begin to resent you. Remember that your child is slowly maturing and may not know the results of their actions just yet.

This is a great reason to keep a journal. Not only will it help you to ventilate your frustrations throughout the day, it will also help you in the long run to look back at things that your children used to do. It might even provide a nice chuckle for you and your family one day as you all sit around and read about what Johnny did with the car in the toilet or what Sara brought home from her school’s playground.

Your children will always imitate you. Whether or not you like it, your children will always be an extension of you. Your children will grow up by learning their values not from what you tell them, but from what they witness you doing.

If you endeavor to be happy and smiling to the extreme with a non-stoppable determination to succeed, then your children will do the same. If you begin to witness your children emulating you in a way that you are not comfortable with, then you need to make the change yourself before approaching your children about it.

Hold yourself accountable. It is important for you to show accountability for your actions as well as theirs. If you do something in front of them that you know you probably should not have done, come to them first. Be apologetic about your actions. This shows you children that you are not perfect and that you are definitely trying to be.

With these points in mind, you will become a better parent. These tips will help you establish a sense of security in your parenting style. It is important for your child to have a sense of security when they are at home. Having patience and open communication will help your relationship with your children.