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It’s hard to grasp exactly how important this topic is. Establishing an optimistic atmosphere is as important of a household element as having parents in the house. It is simply impossible to raise healthy, successful children without a house that thrives on optimism.

Optimism makes your children feel better. Have you ever had someone walk up to you and tell you that your pancakes are too bland?

Or if you work in the service industry, had a customer that simply complained about the service that they have received from you?

It’s likely that their comments did not make you feel very good and did nothing to make you want to do any better at the job that you’ve performed. So it’s no wonder why some children tend to not care about their behavior if all they hear is “No!”

Actually, “No” is the first word that should be (almost) entirely banned from your vocabulary if you are to create a household of optimists. Of course, there are some situations where the word “No” should be used. But do it sparingly.

On that note, try to grant most of your child’s requests. I know it sounds silly, but it actually works in helping your child’s self esteem. If there is something that you don’t want your child to do right now, you can deny their request in part.

For example, if your kid comes and asks you if he or she can go over to a friend’s house, you can simply tell them “Yes, but only after you finish your homework.” The word “no” is never used, and you’ve deferred the requested action until the demand that you would like to have met has been satisfied.

This also gives the child encouragement to finish their homework so that they can receive the reward that they deserve.

When your child completes a task, be careful not to focus simply on the task’s completion. This is what has been termed as the “intimidator” approach. This particular type of parenting style often results in very bad side effects.

Sure, those accolades may look good on paper. You may be able to brag about having the best swimmer in the school or the smartest child in the district. But what happens when this child doesn’t succeed?

We have way too many students that are committing suicide because they didn’t graduate at the top of their class. Simply put, it gets to the point where they start to stress out about not reaching achievements that may not have been within their reach.

A parent that stresses encouragement is from a little bit of a different nature. They value the work that has been performed. They tell the child “I’m sorry that you didn’t win, but you tried your best and that’s what counts”. It also entails an emphasis on strengths that the child has.

Being an encourager, means that you recognize that the child may not be able to complete certain tasks and therefore does not try to tell them, “You can do it!” unless the encourager knows that the task falls perfectly within their reach. Telling the child “You can do it” when they really can’t, would set the child up for certain failure and would lead to a poor self esteem.

Probably the most important thing that you can do to help raise a household of optimists is to continually tell your children how important they all are. This is such a simple thing that is often said in passing.

Parents often simply go through the motions of saying it to their children with little heart and thought in it. It would be a good idea to try and challenge yourself to think of different ways to show your children how much you love and care for them.

Another great idea is to foster a house of hugging. Science is not really sure why this works so much, but it is believed to be the result of the child’s fetal days. While the child is present inside a mother’s womb, it is constantly wrapped in a warm amniotic fluid.

Hugging has been believed to simulate this fluid for the child. Hugging has also been used by child therapists to aid children that have experienced severe emotional trauma.

Though it is used with extreme caution and never more than the child will permit, hug therapy can aid a child in restoring their ability to trust people again. Touch therapy especially, has been used amongst children that have been sexually abused.

It has been proven that children that grow up in a household of hugging become more expressive and warm. Those children that do not grow up around hugs usually grow up to be very distant.

Hugging is considered a gesture of affirmation, and acknowledgement.

But when a child is becoming hug starved, they often start questioning as to whether or not they are loved.

Raising a child with a good self esteem is important. A person’s self esteem impacts their life on many different levels. It controls what their motivations are, how they think and feel, and most importantly, their judgment. Our self esteem is something that is constantly evolving.

Experts believe that the seed is planted during our early childhood and constantly changes with each and every social experience and interaction that we encounter.

That’s why it should be a parent’s highest priority to help their child gain a high self esteem. Children with a high self esteem will work much harder to keep anything bad from happening to them.

Providing your children with positive reinforcements is not enough in developing a higher self esteem. Love and understanding are also important. On the flip side, if you just love your child without giving them some kind of positive reward for good behavior, the child can begin to feel inadequate. It is a delicate balance that you, as a parent, must understand.

As you can see, raising a house of optimists isn’t a hard task for you to complete, it just takes a little bit of thought on how you can spin each situation. Practice keeping the word “no” out of your dialogue and challenge each other to think of different ways in which your family can show your love for one another each and every day.