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DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL

In this book I am sharing my ‘warts and all’ – things which at the outset I really didn’t think would end up being important to share and which I certainly didn’t feel had a place in a ‘business’ book have now made it to the fore and centre. As I talked with my clients and peers about what I might include it became clear to me that I ‘need’ to share it all with you. Don’t misinterpret that as meaning it’s easy for me to do so, doing so scares me immensely. But, my focus and intention in writing this book has always been to encourage connection and trust via truth, honesty and vulnerability.

Emails like this from clients enabled me to take the risk and feel good about doing so:

‘[I have been] thinking about something that you asked me when we first spoke. You asked me about why I got in touch with you and what made me feel like I could work with you.

Looking back now, I understand that at least part of the answer to that question is the fact that you are clearly an able and passionate coach, but importantly for me you also talk in a really frank and ‘un-coach-like’ manner. It goes back to that article1 that said you don’t necessarily share a traditional coach’s vocabulary. I realise that your style of coaching is one that really works for me. The bold and rebellious edge means I don’t feel like I’m getting talked at by a corporate suit.

Another part of the answer to that question is precisely the fact that you are courageous yourself, and express your own vulnerabilities and things that concern you, and that you are working on and developing. And I realise that’s important for me, too, because it gives me a sense that you can fully understand and relate, and are coming from a place of knowledge and experience.

So... I wanted to let you know that your openness and vulnerability, and the way in which you uniquely communicate that, is a large part of why I dig what you do.’

Graeme Blackwell

Here’s the thing – It took me 20 years to learn some of these lessons, and my hope for you is that you don’t spend as long repeating the same things over and over. If someone had shared his or her story as frankly with me, maybe I would have wised up sooner. Maybe hearing someone I liked, knew and trusted tell me their story would have enabled me to reflect on my own and maybe it would have normalised some of what I was going through for me.