Читать книгу Queen City and Other Dimensions - E.C. Wells - Страница 5

What in blue blazes are you doing Maxfield the future is out of sync you were warned about folding spacetime with dough gum I know you know I just thought if I tried new things untested things to save the planet it’s too late you don’t listen you don’t use your best judgement too many bad choices how do you plan to correct this mess I don’t stop messing with universal spacetime I’m sorry but no but you’ve been messing around for centuries what will help what to do you tell me nope it’s up to you don’t freeze going numb afraid don’t go back to Sphincter Island I don’t want are you crazy the cockpions nope I don’t go back there but you do you go there in your dreams and every time you do you’re messing with the universe kahbluey off-kilter off-balance put an end to it or create your own my own alternate universe can I do that WAKE UP.

* * *

One of the Colfax Avenue hookers, the one they call Paradise, the two-hundred pound black woman wearing a stringy blue and red wig, two gold front teeth, the funny one, the jokester, the good-natured, the notorious one who wears the same tight black faux leather halter that squeezed her tits so tightly together they became a yin-yang symbol, not an easy feat for sure, causing them to appear ludicrously erotic, a bit disturbing, held in with just enough black faux leather not to be arrested for doing what Paradise knew instinctively to do; to have and to give sweet diversions and one helluva time!

Paradise levitated over the bystanders. She wore her usual black faux-leather cummerbund——to match her halter——that barely covered her hoo-hah. Spandex carefully sewn on the back of the cummerbund to accommodate the girth of Paradise provided ample stretching room. Her hot pink rubber flip-flops with multi-colored sequins, meticulously applied by Paradise one sequin at a time, covered every exposed nano-inch of her flip-flops, reflecting the sun around where Paradise stood on the air above anyone’s reach.

“I am beautiful!” Paradise declared as she removed her wig and tossed it to a lucky member of her audience. Her audience, a collection of Colfax regulars, fell to its knees. Except for a few who tried to take selfies with her in the background, but they were out of luck in the light of the blinding sun. “I am beautiful! I am the Black Madonna!” Paradise rose higher.

Her audience shouted, “You are beautiful! You are the Black Madonna!”

Paradise kicked her flip-flops off into waiting hands.

“You are beautiful,” the crowd chanted.

Paradise removed her cummerbund and let it drop into eager arms. Two-hundred pounds of naked Paradise undulated with amazing grace upon the air. She raised her arms and slowly danced her dance of Salome on the corner of Uinta and Colfax. Cars parked in the middle of the street. Folks stood on the car roofs to get a closer look as everyone for blocks watched Paradise levitate higher and higher above the street, out of reach, over the traffic lights. Her hands and arms swayed to unheard music. The faster Paradise moved her loving arms to the Music of the Spheres the higher she rose over Colfax Avenue and the louder the crowd cheered. They succumbedto the pleasure ofthe Black Madonna’s enchantment as she spread her come-hither arms, smiled with two gold front teeth sparkling, turned and danced the light fantastic into the sun; challenging science and mystifying religious leaders and their flocks; the Black Madonna of Colfax Avenue.

As one student astronomer from Queen City University explained it, “The phenomenon is caused by the gravitational effect of something huge. Maybe gravitational waves, or perhaps global warming has reached its point of hopelessness; or maybe something from outer space is coming! It’s coming for you! Ha, ha, ha! Damn it, Janet! Just joking.” No one thought him humorous, nor particularly informative.

The entire touring company of Cats, currently running in Queen City for the umpteenth time, fell victim to spontaneous laryngitis; consequently, the actors gave an exemplary performance in mime. The electricity of the audience sparkled. The audience was seduced by it. Something new. Something happened. Something they’d never seen before. Even those who didn’t love it, were amazed. Tremendous applause broke the evening’s silence. In unison, the entire audience rose to their feet and gave bravos to the “...a stunning new re-interpretation of a tired thingy...theatre is born again!”

As irregular incidents continued to mount in Queen City there was possibly——though highly improbable——enough evidence to suggest that Queen City was overrun by malevolent spirits. Some suggested that Queen City was the epicenter for all the wicked spirits in the world. And, now they were escaping into the world from out the cracks ripping Queen City streets and causing new overpriced pressed board houses to snap, crackle and pop.

Panic, exaggerated, overacted, badly acted and mostly self-focused, filled the streets of Queen City. Throngs of screaming humanity climbed one over the other to beg forgiveness from the invisible. They sat in bars where all drinks were on the house, although one would need to step over passed-out drunks just to get into the house. Soothsayers predicted the end of the world. Even those who never spoke sooth saw it coming. The sidewalks were inflamed with anger and incredulity from those who were trying to find a way out of the wreckage. Some huddled and cried with friends and relatives, even those friends and relatives they hated. Some stood frozen staring at cracks that continued to grow. Some felt the Earth moving under their feet. Some removed their shoes to experience the sensation.

Streets and sidewalks rolled with the rumble of an earthquake, buildings swayed and fell, cracks continued to splinter and tear apart Queen City.

This was a disaster, indeed. And we are now in the dimension of the present.

* * *

Alarmed, Lily cried out, “What’s happening!?”while leaning over the porch balustrade that was covered with two layers of chipped paint, green on the surface and white lead paint beneath. “Gawd! Look at that! The entire street, V.” V was speechless as she leaned over the porch balustrade next to Lily; so Lily questioned herself, “An explosion? An earthquake? What?”

“Frackers!” V overcame her speechlessness. “Goddamned motherfucking frackers!”

“Really?”

“You can go to the bank on it.”

In silence, both V and Lily give the scene below their full attention. Squirrels gather catalpa bean pods, small green peaches and marble-sized crabapples. They take a bite, a tiny bite, just one tentative bite and then they spit it out and throw their spoils to the trembling streets and sidewalks. They fly through trees that line the streets like handsome, well-groomed, green soldiers. They leap without hesitation from treetop to treetop. They fly through their urban forest, some fly from one side of the street to the other. They know they can and that’s all it takes——the knowing. They do and once they do they never stop flying——the squirrels. Folks pour from out their homes. Some stare in disbelief. Some tentatively patrol the street, surveying the damages from slashes in cement and blacktop. In the middle of the street, directly in front of Shady Sanctum, a sinkhole appears that seemingly could lead to China. Neighbors run back inside their homes to watch the news, hoping for information about this extraordinary phenomenon. Unless it is on the news it didn’t happen.

Was it a bomb? Did it come from Russia? Is it radioactive? MisterDeathtakeshistime,slowlyandhorribly,whenit’sanuke.

“Frackers!” V repeated, “Goddamned motherfucking frackers!”

V and Lily sigh in unison from their watch over the balustrade.

* * *

That didn’t happen it will Max you were warned that wasn’t on purpose what was that it just happened that’s all nothing just happens it does sometimes it does like the Sphincter Island I don’t want to go back you will I may have nodded off from the dough gum you think I suppose pull yourself together Max stop with the dough gum or you could cause serious damage for the future of the planet you’ve got to be joking no I’m not it’s just a quick nap that’s all WAKE UP!

* * *

Nearly two lightyears from Earth, Sumer (a.k.a. planet X), the largest planet in the solar system, was approaching the closest it ever comes to Earth in its orbit around the fringe of the solar system, taking sixty-six thousand, six hundred and sixty-six Earth-years to complete a single day. All those sixes. Co-incidental numerology; or purposely planned by the Universe to scare off mathematicians and cave dwellers?

Sunlight does not reach Sumer directly. Reflective quixelite crystals float near the edge of Sumer’s atmosphere, collecting the faintest of light from distant stars, magnifying them by trillions, which then provides the illusion of direct sunlight needed to grow the lush patches of food and foliage that color and perfume the scenic landscape of Sumer. It is the illusion of sunlight that matters. No one questions its reality. Without quixelite Sumer would be an ice covered rock whirling in space.

The quadrillions of quixelite crystals that float at the edge of Sumer’s atmosphere are each an individual conscious entity. They can also will themselves together as a single consciousness. As One, they can open and close ranks to allow for outgoing and incoming ships; or form an impenetrable shield against meteors or any other known threats to Sumer.

The crystals provide every bit of energy needed to serve the needs of the entire planet without depleting a single non-renewable resource. The nanoscale crystals that fill Sumer’s atmosphere nourish the soul as well, deepening and widening an understanding of the essence of Nature, of Self, of Consciousness, of Overlords and the Oversoul of All There Is, Was, Will Ever Be. The crystals also grant wishes.

“If you were born in a holodeck, lived your entire life and died in that holodeck, holograms would be your reality,” a cunning red monkey said. He goes by the name of Kafka the Red, who sings arias from classic Italian and French operas acapella and the seldom performed lost opera written by Gertrude Stein that Kafka the Red found stuffed inside a dried baguette. Kafka the Red performs on a diminutive stage bordered with gold and quixelite filigree. A single red curtain drapes with especial care given to each velvet fold of levitating plush scarlet plunging to one side of the stage and held back by a thick gold cord with tassels in a vape bar in Sumer City, known as KAFKA’S LAST STAND——owned and operated by the red monkey himself.

Three young satyrs could not control their outbursts of ear-piercing laughter, until Lucifer had had enough of it and asked them civilly (for Lucifer) to quiet down. Satyrs do not respond well to being told what to do, civilly or otherwise. Especially, by an employee of the Underlord.

“Tell it to Dionysus, bonehead!”

“Well,” Lucifer whispered to Jesus, “I see that dimension will get us nowhere. It’s a dead end.”

The devil-twins were strolling——spying really——when they heard Lucifer called a “bonehead” by a satyr who hadn’t even earned his horns yet. The twins began giggling until they turned into sparks of hot quixelite and vanished. They are only allowed fifteen minutes a rotation. Remember all those sixes? That is a single rotation. One would be dazed by the amount of wreckage the twins can do in only fifteen Earth minutes. But, since the father of the children is Monsanto the King of the Underworld, the twins are privileged to do whatever the hell they please, as long as they limit themselves to fifteen minutes a rotation.

“There go the twins again. I swear by all the black matter in the universe I’d put them on a spit over the fires of Hell, but they’d probably love it! There they go. Back to Hell,” Lucifer said, then burst into laughter.

“Earth?” Jesus winced.

“Yes, planet Earth. That’s Hell enough, isn’t it? You would know something about that, wouldn’t you? Still in pain, dearest?”

A longish uncomfortable silence befell the two as they inhaled from their vape whips. Lucifer drew hard on his whip and inhaled the quixelite vapors. “My beautiful friend,” began Lucifer after exhaling, “we all know who took the blame for every sin in the world. Me.”

“You wanted the role, didn’t you?” Jesus asked Lucifer, already knowing his answer.

“And so did you!” bellowed Lucifer. “You already knew the lines. Every one of them. Forwards and backwards. You should play another role next time. How many seasons have you played that tired old Jesus character?”

“I don’t remember, Lu.”

“Of course you do, Jeez. You know we both freely chose our roles. I work for the Underlord and you work for the Overlord.”

“Just the order of things.”

“Jesus! You chose the ‘order of things!’ Sorry for shouting. I sometimes think that the Lords don’t exist? I already know you believe in yours, but don’t you think your Overlord is all about what to do and what not to do; emphasis on the not?”

“Lu, that is the order of things.”

“What a fool you can be, Jeez. Be a hairdresser next time you go down there.” Jesus finds that funny and laughs. Lucifer continues, “Why do you suppose the masses throughout history personified their Gods?”

Jesus shrugged and did not respond. He knew he was about to get himself embroiled in a conversation that he has had with Lucifer countless times. Jesus folded his arms, leaned back in the comfort of his vape bar chair and waited for Lucifer’s tired old grousing and pontificating to begin. He didn’t need to wait long for what usually starts with, “You know I love you, man.”

“And I love you, Lu.”

“So don’t be offended——”

“It is impossible to offend me.”

“One day I will bet you on that. Anyway, here goes: You cannot talk to the unconscious and assume they are going to understand you; much less, that they could possibly grasp any idea for what you said. They hear their own amplified confirmations of immortality; deaf to everything else——everyone else. Anything to comfort their mortal fears. You were a port in the storm, dearest. Anyone who promises life everlasting is going to be on the hit parade——a big seller. Do you want to hear what I would have done, Jeez?”

Of course, that was the last thing Jesus wanted to hear, much less, answer. He slowly inhaled before answering, “Naturally, I suppose.”

“I would not have given the rabble so much credit. You said yourself that they didn’t know how awful they were.”

“Something like that. I believe I said that they didn’t know what they were doing.”

“Same thing. Who does? Look! The fact is, they don’t know a thing and they don’t care to open themselves to learning new realities. There are so many alternate realities and yet they see and hear what they want to see and hear, because it makes them comfortable. They do not create, explore, take a risk. They see their reality as only one dimension. A dimension they can accept and agree upon. One that remains familiar. A world built upon a false sense of security. Threaten anything within their bubble and they will destroy you. If you really look at it, Jeez, it’s pretty much all your doing.”

Jesus pouted. “It was pure ignorance. They didn’t know any better! That is their original and only sin——ignorance. It is no one’s fault. Sometime’s, Lu, you fucking piss me off!”

“Sometimes, my dearest friend, you fucking piss me off, too. They do, indeed, choose their own ignorance. Period. Subject closed. They chose it,” the devil pronounced.

“You don’t crush a sapling because it doesn’t bear fruit; you protect it until it does. It needs time.”

“Sometimes, Jeez, when the tree can’t grow, when it folds back onto itself and withers from unexpected realizations in the shadows of false starts, disappointments, misdirections, too much compromise, withering into resignation, back into dust, you are obliged to put it out of its misery. Play another role next time. Take a rest. Take responsibility for the actions of your followers, as well.”

“Lu! Are you going to continue beating this dead horse?”

“Tell me, Jeez, how do you do it? Is it your amazingly divine good looks? Or your annoying goodliness? Or your deliciously edible ideas? Which is it? One? Two out of three? All of them?”

“Give me a break, Lu.”

“I love you, Jeez, and you know it! But, you should stop being a sapling and grow up!”

“I took the role of their Savior,” Jesus stated with a mixture of defiance and regret, “because I thought I actually had something to offer.”

“Yeah. You added more dark matter to an atmosphere already suffering from it. Not only was the idea of Them and Us bad enough, it was the cause of many wars, still is; a flesh and blood war over the invisible——the unknowable. How fucking sad is that?”

“I’m aware, Lu.”

Lucifer gave forth an invigorated exhalation of vapor rings. “Jesus, grow the fuck up!”

“Please. I’m tired. Give it a rest.”

“A rest? Wake up, Jesus!”

“I was an example. I gave them visions for more dimensions yet to come. I gave them something to look forward to, something real, something to ease their material suffering.”

“You are an amazingly funny stupid man.” Lucifer slowly exhaled a thick protracted stream of vapor that rose to make curlycues in the air above the head of Jesus. The curlycues seemed to be mocking Jesus as they twisted one over the other. Lucifer jocularly accused, “You got in their way. Souls must change themselves——by themselves.” Lucifer’s vapor stream descended over the head of Jesus, turned into a golden halo annoying Jesus.

“Stop that! Get rid of that damned thing.”

“As you say, merchant of illusions, myths, and lies!”

The halo vanishes. “My character never lied, Lu. I spoke only truth. I genuinely wanted to be of help. To show them the Miraculous. They chose the text over the subtext. Missing the subtle, the ethereal. Something transporting, transcending. I tried to show them the power of Will. It is the greatest power given to Man and yet they let it atrophy because they don’t know how to use it. I tried to teach them, Lu, but everything went meshugge.” Jesus was visibly unnerved.

“See what that got you. Surely, you must agree that it is impossible to communicate truth, unless they already know it for themselves.”

“Everybody knows the truth when they hear it.”

“In that case, what they needed was confirmation for what they were hearing. Not the lies, my dear beautiful spirit, you wove into riddles, parables, ambiguity…your own ambivalence. Even until this day on Earth they still take you literally. Now tell me everyone knows the truth when they hear it.”

“Not my fault!”

“There you go again, Jeez. Of course it was. The fruit of your tree, dear boy, has rotted to the core.”

“Thank you for that; since you feel a need to state the obvious. Besides, I will not do another performance. Once should have been more than enough for me.”

“But it wasn’t, was it? You took many names other than Jesus.”

“Never again. I leave it to their Nature.”

“Not a bad idea, Jeez”

“Lu? Maybe you should go this time. You’d make a terrific Jesus.”

“Me? The Evil One with horns and a pitchfork? I want a makeover. Alexander the Great might be an enjoyable experience. Or Al Capone. Fun roles. Maybe a Broadway musical. I want to live and have fun without restrictions and without your pitiful guilt. Lady Gaga!Now I could do that.”

Jesus pretended to listen to Lucifer, trying to figure why he was sitting in the best vape bar in Sumer City listening to Lu’s accusations from seasons ago. Avoid the tedious and the stale. How much guilt must one Messiah bear?

“Lucifer, I have a question for you.”

“Shoot, kiddo.”

“Why must all the world suffer the atrocities of others? Must they accept their misfortunes silently, stoically, alone? Why shouldn’t I care? Why shouldn’t I try?”

“I don’t know, kiddo. Your mitzvah, I suppose. Most atrocities are committed in the Overlord’s name! I will give your question more thought, if you will think about how that cushy bed of Faith and Belief is leading your followers to their own apathetic demise. Jesus the Christ! I hate do-gooders!” Lucifer reached into the air, smiled, held his hand out to Jesus and said, “Here it is: So they can deflect and delegate all responsibility away from themselves and place it into the hands of the invisible.”

“What are you talking about?” Jesus asked.

“The personification of the God.”

“I don’t see his point,” Gertrude Stein said with a boozy smirk, “I would certainly know the point were I stuck inside a holodeck!”

“You think?” Plato asked, although it sounded more like a challenge. “One day, perhaps, you will learn the nature of reality and the reality of nature. Give it time, Gertrude.”

“Shh,” Gertrude Stein snarled. “I want to hear the monkey sing.”

* * *

Once upon a time, Sumer was the fourth planet from the sun. Then a Herculean meteor sped between it and Earth, causing them to collide. The collision generated enough energy for Sumer to carve off half of the planet Earth and incorporate it into itself. Consequently, Earth, now half its former size, was knocked closer to Mars. Sumer, along with its added mass of Earth——containing deoxyribonucleic acid, the main constituent of chromosomes and genetic information——was catapulted into an orbit well-nigh out of the solar system. Sumer revolves around the sun from the farthest edge of the solar system, beyond the ice planets. This will be the fourth rotation the Sumerians will visit Earth. They knew of the name change from New Sumer to Earth and, considering the terrible things that have been evolving on the planet, they gladly welcome the change since they no longer want to be associated with it. Earth is monitored regularly from impossible distances, but once every rotation the planet Sumer is in position for physical contact. The contact port is due to open shortly.

“How much is shortly, Max?” asked Kuku, as if she had a lemon up her ass.

“Yeah. How much, Max?” Kaka, twin brother to Kuku, asked as though he had the rest of the lemons and the tree up his ass.

“As long as it takes,” Captain Talbot answered telepathically with a wink and a wrenched smile before adding, “Soon, kids.”

“We ain’t kids!”

“I know.”

* * *

You bet they ain’t kids their brains are stunted their minds are infected by a fatal disease known as stupidity they die out of place and time on a planet called Earth look again Maxfield see how the mind gets ahead of itself changes itself from harmony to dissonance you’ve fucked up time and space again allow my brain to calculate time and space folds your mind must listen not just your ears your brain is a useful tool use it WAKE UP!

A sonic boom and Max was back at the home he never left.