Читать книгу Super Ager - Elise Marie Collins - Страница 15

“I never thought anything about age. I believe sincerely that there is nothing I can’t do. All the power of the Universe is right inside of me.”

—Tao Porchon-Lynch, yoga teacher, age ninety-nine

To Super Age is to embrace the power of the universe inside of you and to believe that your power is infinitely good. You will experience hardships, trials and tribulations throughout life. Successful aging means embracing these ups and downs and then choosing to see the good. This requires self-compassion and self-love. To pay attention to life, to see the beauty in each moment, is to see through mindful rose-colored glasses. Your health—mental, physical, spiritual and emotional—requires the digestion and assimilation of all life experiences. This requires great compassion towards yourself and others. In the purest sense, mindfulness actually means compassion. Mindfulness means paying attention with love. This is the greatest gift you can give yourself, your loved ones, and the world. When I listen to the stories and wisdom of the oldest of old, from nanogenerians to centenarians to super-centenarians, I hear compassion, gratitude, and acceptance. Sometimes a centenarian may seem feisty or crabby, but peel back the veneer, and deep compassion is present.

To embrace and live a long life, compassion towards yourself may be one of the most important tools. Compassion allows you to digest and integrate suffering. You will not be able to escape suffering, but you will be able to weave that pain into a beautiful tapestry called life. Once you have given yourself space for compassion, there is space for grief, for suffering, and for joy.

In every moment, you have a choice to see things as generally positive or negative. You may feel “negative” emotions such as anger, jealousy, fear, anxiety, judgment. Your health arises not from your ability to push away or shove these negative feelings into a corner or out of sight. Rather, it arises from giving these feelings space and a voice. Your resilience comes from quiet introspection and understanding all of the emotions and experiences of living. There is darkness and there is light. Healthy aging and longevity require deep wells of inner compassion. When you feel and not just pay lip service to that compassion, you are ready to move on to the next journey of life.

Yet life rarely presents clear forks in the road. Life is full of complexities and shades of gray. The brain or the mind has a job, and that is to keep us safe. Fear and negativity had a role in our evolution and survival. Vigilance and seeing things through a negative lens helped us survive at one point. Those who were fearful and vigilant survived more often than those who may have been more carefree. When humans anticipated a threat or attack and that was a correct assessment, negative thinking helped people to survive. As humans, we are always growing, learning, and watching out for danger. Our brains are wired to look for things to fear. But this is not the only way of looking at things. A positive outlook, even in the face of not so positive life circumstances, seems to be a personality trait that may be associated with longevity. And to survive eighty years and beyond, a certain kind of resilience and reframing will be necessary.

In 2017, Sardinians age 90–101 were interviewed about their life histories and beliefs. Younger relatives of this group of nano and octogenarians were also queried on their long-lived family members’ personalities. Researchers found that these older adults exhibited better mental health than younger people. Despite a decline in physical vigor, older adults of Sardinia had a mostly positive outlook. They were filled with hope and optimism, despite what life had dealt them. It seems that to live to be 100, one either becomes more positive or perhaps optimism helps one survive past a certain age. In Ayurveda, the last part of life, is influenced by the air element which is expressed through a positive attitude and inspirational point of view.

Back to School

As one of the oldest undergraduates at UC–Berkeley, Delores Orr, age seventy, is part of a trend of older adults going back to college after age twenty-five. However, at her age, she is more of an exception at highly selective schools such as Berkeley. As Delores’ own granddaughter struggled in elementary school, she told her grandma she believed she could not succeed in school. Delores Orr’s pursuit of higher education arose from a deep desire to inspire her granddaughter. When her granddaughter continued to doubt that she could succeed in school, Delores told her, “but you can: I’ll show you.” She was accepted to Cal, yet when she arrived on the Berkeley campus, her confidence wavered. She found herself surrounded by students who looked and acted very different than her. They rode skateboards and stared at their smartphones. Orr felt her fear and then did something about it. She sat across from the office of the registrar at Sproul Hall, repeating positive affirmations over and over: “I am worthy, I am worthy, I am worthy.” Her mindset leads her to her success. She will graduate in Spring of 2018.

The Power of Positive Thinking

Do optimists live longer than pessimists? Recent research suggests optimism strongly affects cardiovascular health. A 2015 University of Illinois study analyzed data from an ongoing survey, called the Multi Ethnic Study of Atherosclerosis, finding that those who exhibited the highest levels of optimism had almost double the odds of having ideal cardiovascular health, in comparison to their more pessimistic counterparts. The study’s author, Rosalba Hernandez, Professor of Social Work at University of Illinois, emphasized that the significance of a hopeful attitude was clear. “This association remains significant, even after adjusting for socio-demographic characteristics and poor mental health,” she said. In a similar study at Harvard University, researchers found links between optimism, hope, life satisfaction, and a reduced risk of cardiovascular disease, as well as strokes.

But can it be that easy? Believe it or not it can be, kind of. Affirmations can help redirect our neurons to create pathways that help override old and long-ingrained patterns. Breaking habitual patterns of negativity can be surprisingly easy and, well, hard. Why is that? Because the mind creates patterns, and breaking these patterns feels very, very uncomfortable. You are changing the neural pathways that direct the mind to fear. It is important to realize that this is very different than suppressing, overriding, or bypassing pain or reality. In the highest sense, when you feel the fear, name the fear, listen to the fear, express the fear, and give it compassion, you create space. Once you create this space, there is a potential to choose a new thought, a new goal, a new path, and this is the “positive” mindset that healthy aging both requires and (I believe) teaches. When we age in a healthy way, we become more resilient and we also become great teachers. There is potential in aging to learn deep lessons of resilience, and this imparts great wisdom on the person who is aging. This is the gift of Super Agers.

In Ayurveda, speaking, thinking, and acting in a way that is positive, kind, and truthful restores the spirit and the mind and helps increase feelings of wellbeing. A 2012 study revealed similar traits in centenarians. The study, titled “Positive attitude towards life and emotional expression as personality phenotypes for centenarians,” included participants with an average age was 97.5 and found that “qualities of positivity,” including being optimistic or easygoing, were more prevalent in the 243 centenarians studied than the average population in the US. Laughter was valued by these Super Agers, and most were part of a larger social network. Most were emotionally expressive, less neurotic, and expressed a higher-than-average level of conscientiousness. Similar studies of centenarians have evoked surprisingly likeminded data, indicating that perhaps the mental attitude of Super Agers contributes greatly to their ability to live so much longer than average.

The results of the Heidelberg Centenarian study challenged the belief that older adults have maxed out on feeling positive, given the adversities common in advanced age, such as losing a life partner or continual physical decline. Regardless of “accumulating negative conditions,” the centenarians reported high levels of happiness and optimistic feelings on par with those of adults half of their age.

The Outside-the-Box Research of Elaine Langer

In 1981, Harvard psychology professor Elaine Langer brought a group of men in their seventies to a location that was staged to give them the illusion that it was actually 1959. Everything was made to look like as though it was that year. Mirrors were removed, so the men could not see themselves. The vintage radio played Perry Como; on TV, the men watched the Ed Sullivan Show. They were told not to reminisce, but to act is if it was 1959. A control group was also brought to the same location, but those men were given no special treatment. Langer also made sure the men were treated as though they were twenty years younger. Before being told that they were in charge of bringing their suitcases upstairs, the men were tested on grip strength, physical dexterity, and flexibility, as well as hearing, vision, memory, and cognition. After a weekend time-warp get away, the men were stronger, more flexible, and taller. Even their vision had slightly improved. And those that witnessed the men leaving the retreat reported that they somehow appeared younger. Elaine Langer never published her research because she believed her unconventional study would have been rejected by journals, especially in 1981. “You have to appreciate, people weren’t talking about mind-body medicine,” she said. Yet her work has now become legendary. She has led many fascinating and groundbreaking studies in mindset, including one that compared adults in nursing homes. One group was given a houseplant to take care of, and told they would be in charge of their own schedule. The control group was told that staff would be taking care of their plants, and that they had no say in their daily schedules. A year and a half later, twice as many people in the plant caring group were alive. In 2010. A BBC TV show called The Young Ones did a remake on Langer’s 1981 experiment with six aging British celebrities. She consulted on the project. Set in 1975, this group time-traveled to see shag carpets and kitschy art. The show aired in four episodes, and concluded with the six celebrities appearing remarkably revitalized. One even got rid of a wheelchair and swapped it for a cane. The show won a British Emmy. Jeffrey Redigar, MD, a professor at Harvard Medical School, said of Langer: “She’s one of the people at Harvard who really gets it. That health and illness are much more rooted in our minds and hearts and how we experience ourselves in the world than our model even begins to understand.”

The Telomere Effect

Elizabeth Blackburn, PhD, and Elissa Epel, PhD, led a groundbreaking study on women, stress, and aging. Their study examined mothers who were caregivers to children with serious chronic health issues. The results painted a vivid picture of the connection between chronic stress and the length of their telomeres (a known marker of aging). The longer the moms had been caregiving, and therefore chronically stressed, the shorter their telomeres. In addition, if subjects perceived a greater level of stress, regardless of the actual stressor, the mothers’ perception was related to the length of their telomeres. This deeply humanizing research carried out by Elizabeth Blackburn, PhD, and Elissa Epel, PhD, was also a part of their excellent book, The Telomere Effect. No one had ever done research on the chronically stressed, and especially on caregivers such as moms who had very ill or disabled children. The research, not surprisingly indicated a strong correlation between stress and aging. Blackburn and Epel discovered more: they found that some moms were more resilient to the chronic stress of caregiving. It seems that these parents had framed their reactions in a “challenge response,” rather than a stress response. In a stress response, one feels hopeless. In a challenge response, the existing situation or condition is seen as a temporary setback. These mothers reacted with what is known as a challenge response and showed that people have the power to impact our telomeres even when under stress.

Another study looked at caregivers of relatives with dementia. Those caregivers that meditated for twelve minutes a day for two months, compared to a control group who did not meditate had a 43 percent boost in telomerase. “I have the power to impact my telomeres and I also have the power to impact yours,” said the Nobel Prize-winning Blackburn. The power of the mind and our interconnectedness is part of the aging process. Learning how we can skillfully harness our thoughts and perceptions on stress affects our health and how we age.

Many studies have shown that negative age stereotypes also have an adverse effect on health. Subliminal exposure to negative age stereotypes affect memory, handwriting skills, and gait. A 2016 study showed that older adults with “negative age stereotypes had greater loss in hippocampal volume and other higher predictive biomarkers for Alzheimer’s.” Another study showed that intervening and shifting negative age-related stereotypes to more positive stereotypes initiated a cascade of positive effects including improved physical function.

Dancing the Cha Cha

If it was that easy to be positive everyone would be doing it. If life is a dance, it is like the Cha Cha. Sometimes we take two steps forward and one step back. You can focus on the back steps, or any missteps, or stay intent on the dance itself. Sometimes in life things get “worse”: you may miss a step, have a setback or illness, or lose someone you love. As in a dance, you could fall or accidentally trip our partners. Positivity is not about pretending that none of these things happened or not feeling the feelings around what happened. Positivity is about continuing to dance and looking for the good in each moment. It will be harder in life than in a dance, yet research and common sense suggest a resilient outlook will help you age well. I call it “seeing the world through mindful rose-colored glasses.”

Rare Bird

American businesswoman, designer, and fashion icon Iris Apfel, ninety-six, also worked as a textile designer who specialized in historical restoration design projects including working at the White House under nine Presidents from Truman to Clinton. Age never, ever stopped her terrific sense of style and in 2005, the Costume Institute at The Metropolitan Museum of Art did a show about her, titled, “Rare Bird: The Irreverent Iris Apfel.” A great success, the show made Iris a fashion icon at age eighty-four. When she turned ninety, MAC launched the Iris Apfel collection, “I am the oldest broad with a makeup line,” she quipped. She has over 828,000 followers on Instagram, and she fights to proclaim a new paradigm of aging. “When they show ads about retiring, they always show these feeble people paddling canoes, playing golf, and jumping up and down on tennis courts. It’s so ridiculous. There’s lots of other things to do. You have to keep your mind active and get with it. And stay in the company of young people because they know what’s going on, at least they think they do.”

Science of Gratitude

Many studies on gratitude have shown both the positive psychological and the physical benefits as well. Robert A. Emmons, from the University of California at Davis conducted a study on gratitude in which the participants were given the task of keeping a journal. They were divided into three groups: one that had to write five positive things that happened to them in the past week, another that had to write negative experiences and hassles that occurred to them, and a third which was told to journal any event that had a significant impact on them, without being told to focus on positive or negative circumstances. The group that journaled positive things that happened during the study was reportedly 25 percent happier than the other two groups, and reported fewer health problems. Another really important finding by Philip Watkins, a clinical psychologist at Eastern Washington University, found a correlation between depression and low gratitude levels. According to this study, clinically depressed patients showed 50 percent lower levels of gratitude than a control group. In his book, Aging Well, George Vaillant states that “those who have aged most successfully are those who worry less about cholesterol and waistlines, and more about gratitude and forgiveness.”

Gratitude has been shown to balance heart rhythms and calm the nervous system. In a study with the HeartMath Institute and the US Postgraduate Naval School in California, gratitude was shown to increase levels of the anti-aging compound DHEA, a steroid produced by the adrenal glands.

Practice Tip

If you want to start practicing gratitude, begin by writing three things you are grateful for each day.

Helpful Humor

A sense of humor can help. When facing challenges, Super Agers tap into their amusement. Jean Calment, verified as the oldest living person, used to say, “I’ve only got one wrinkle, and I’m sitting on it.” Humor can be a great go-to, when you are feeling low. One teenager from Ogimi, Okinawa, told the authors of Ikigai that she loved spending time with her great-grandmother, who was 103. When her great-grandma farted, she told her great-granddaughter that a loud train was passing by the house. The granddaughter said she liked to spend time with her great-grandma because she was fun and had a good sense of humor.

As we age, the brain begins to downsize, and if positivity has not been valued in the “save” part of the brain, the brain discards positivity. You can stop or slow down cognitive decline: see Chapter 11. Authors Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles interviewed centenarians in the village where people live the longest and wrote down a few of the following quotes, which explain the long-lived villagers’ mindset: “Don’t worry,” said one centenarian. “Live an unhurried life,” prescribed another and simply, “Be Optimistic.” Having a slow, simple, and positive attitude towards life seems to be one of the secret ingredients to aging well.

Turning 100 is Cause for Celebration Around the Globe

Becoming a centenarian is an achievement recognized around the world. Find out how centenarians receive recognition around the world:

United Kingdom

In the United Kingdom, every centenarian receives a birthday card signed by the Queen herself, courtesy of the Department for Work and Pensions.

Japan

The Japanese government has a long-lasting tradition of gifting a sakazuki or silver cup to centenarians. Because the Japanese have the highest life expectancy in the world, the numbers of centenarians continue to rise dramatically, leaving government officials to look for a cheaper alternative. In 2009, the diameter of the sterling silver cup went from 4 inches to 3.5 inches. In 2016, the cups presented were no longer sterling silver, and instead were silver plate. Japan also holds a national public holiday, Respect for the Aged Day, on September 15. When you turn 100, you will receive a certificate from the Prime Minister on the first Respect for the Aged Day following your 100th birthday.

Barbados

In December of 2016, the country of Barbados issued a collection of stamps titled, Centenarians of Barbados. Twenty-seven centenarians were honored in this special tribute that coincided with fifty years of independence for Barbados. The stamps recognized the country’s history of both triumph and suffering and tied it to the lives of centenarians who had directly experienced fifty years under British colonial rule and then fifty years of independence.

Philippines

A law passed in 2016 insured that Filipino centenarians receive 100,000 Filipino pesos (about $2,000) and are awarded a plaque. All Filipino centenarian citizens that live in the Philippines or abroad also receive a letter from the current President of the Philippines when turning 100. The first Sunday in October is National Day of Respect for Centenarians Day.

India

India bestows achievement awards for citizens over age sixty-five. Award categories include a general award for centenarians, and specific awards for sports, courage, iconic motherhood, and creative arts. Organizations who support older adults, and especially those that offer support services for older adults, such as housing and food are also awarded.

Ireland

People born in Ireland receive a nice surprise for their 100th birthday—2,540 Euros and a letter from the President of Ireland, wishing them a happy birthday and congratulating them on their longevity! Every year after you turn 100 you receive a specially designed coin that changes annually.

The United States

When you turn 100, expect a note from the First Family. And many people don’t know that the White House sends birthday cards when you reach eighty (and to veterans turning seventy), and then they follow up at eighty-five, ninety, ninety-five, one hundred, and, every year after one hundred. What most people don’t know is that you need to file a request for a card or do it for a loved one.

Similar traditions are in place in other countries, such as Canada and Australia. You must file a request to get a birthday signed card by the Prime Minister of Canada, and as for Australians, they get their birthday cards signed by the Her Majesty the Queen.

If you or a relative have a big birthday coming up, check with your own government for the latest birthday celebration procedures.

For a positive mindset as you age, take the reins of the mind and steer them towards the thoughts you want your brain to encode and remember. Your brain is like wet cement when you are a child. Then once you get past adolescence, “change is only permitted for those things that have captured the brain’s attention, and only when the brain itself has judged those things to be beneficial.” What this means is you are in control of what you deem important and savable by your brain. Dr. Michael Merzenich, known as the father of modern neuroplasticity, tells us that we must tell our brains what is important. You have the right to choose, not sit by idly waiting for good to come to you. Murali Nair, PhD, and Professor of Social Work at University of Southern California, studies centenarians around the world and notices a few common personality traits: “They always set goals. They say they are still young.” Sometimes centenarians will have certain plans for the day or they will look ahead to a future goal such as taking their great-great-grandchild to their first day of school. Nair has studied and documented centenarians in China, India, Guatemala, Macau finds that most have a positive attitude and don’t seem to be grumpy or sad.

Amazing and Inspirational

Irena Obera has mindset down. A retired teacher, she began her competitive running career a little later than most professionals, making nationals in 1959 when she was twenty-six years old. She ran in the 1960 and 1968 Olympic trials, and she found her stride when she became a pioneering master athlete. By the time she hit the forty-fives age group, wins and records became her norm, setting world records in the 200m in every age group from W45 to W70. IN July of 2014, she broke two records in the W80 for 80m hurdles and 200m hurdles. People who see her speed and agility are shocked to find out that she’s eighty-four years old. “To me, I don’t think of age as being a handicap. It’s just a process. So why not live? Everybody tells me two things, “I’m so amazing and inspirational.” I like the second part.” When she was forty-one, she suffered a life set back when she was bedridden for a year after being diagnosed with sarcoidosis. After hearing about the first world masters championship to be held in 1975, she lay in bed, and made it a goal for her recovery just to make it to the event compete. She didn’t come home with a medal that year, but it motivated her return. By the age of forty-five, she had become a dominant world force in track and field, smashing world records and winning world championships in multiple age brackets, W50, W60 and W75. In 2014, she became the oldest woman to break forty seconds in the 200m sprint.

Fire Over Air

Modern culture could be described as out of balance. People are stressed and extremely busy. In the Blue Zone® books, Dan Buettner interviews nanogenerians and centenarians who live well balanced lives. Ayurveda describes age fifty and above as the Vata time of life, a time for inspiration, reflection, creativity, spirituality, and other qualities associated with air. Modern culture values power and dominance over wisdom. In Ayurveda, this could be described as valuing fire over air. One of the cultural issues that arises collectively and within each of us is the tendency to criticize and denigrate aging. It may be helpful to remember and realize that not all cultures put youth on a pedestal. Many cultures treat their grandparents, great-grandparents, and people over eighty as rock stars. A culture that values the fire stage of life of competition, aggression, and winning, instead of valuing the air stage of life, will also value drive and aggression over wisdom and inspiration. The point is that fire is not above air or below it. Fire is fire, and air is air. We need all elements for balance. When you embrace aging and cease to denigrate it, you esteem its qualities including wisdom, inspiration, and humility.

Logotherapy, developed by Victor Frankl, is a therapy concept based on life purpose. Frankl believed that life purpose helped one choose their attitude. Life purpose and attitude were central to Logotherapy. “Everything can be taken from a man, but one thing, the last of the human freedoms, to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” wrote Victor Frankl in Man’s Search for Meaning.

Singapore’s Mother Teresa

One way to boost attitude is to volunteer. Helping others seems to boost mood and mindset like nothing else can. Teresa Hsu Chih was known as Singapore’s “Mother Teresa.” A social worker, yoga teacher, and nurse, she devoted her life to feeding and housing needy people, especially those in dire need, regardless of race or religion. “She’s ninety-five, and she’s looking after those younger than her. She doesn’t care about herself. She only cares about others. This inspires me to follow her,” said a certain Mr. Thanaraja, a volunteer at Teresa’s nonprofit. Although she cared deeply for others, she had a simple, yet structured self-care routine. Born in 1898, she rose daily at 4 a.m. to do yoga, calisthenics, and meditation. She was a vegetarian who took up yoga in her sixty-ninth year. Known for her supremely optimistic spirit, she told people, “I prefer to laugh than to weep.” Teresa Hsu Chih lived to the age of 113 years. Her organization, Heart to Heart (www.hearttoheartservice.org), continues to carry out her legacy of helping feed and house the poor in Singapore and beyond.

–PRACTICE PLAN–

Journal

Journal on resiliency. When and why do you give up? What triggers you to stop trying? Do you push yourself too hard? Will better self-care will help you to get through “the yuck?” Journal on seeing the bigger picture.

Express Gratitude

Daily Habits

Write down five things you are grateful for. Gratitude is one of the simplest and best ways to change your attitude.

Be Mindful

Take five minutes every day just to notice what you are thinking, seeing, feeling, smelling, and tasting. When we feel our senses, we step away from the mind. We step away from judgment. We become aware that we have the ability to choose our attitude towards our experiences. This knowledge of choice is a huge step forward.

Spice Up Your Life

Weekly Habits

•Exercise your “trying” muscles.

•Try something new every week; notice if you judge yourself or just feel good about trying.

•Develop resilience through trying. A Super Ager must continue to push through fear, worry, excitement, regret, and doubt. Try new activities or try to do something you have never done before every week.

•Write down your goals. Focus on your goals to sharpen your mindset.

Weekly/Monthly/Annual Habits

•Go to events that uplift your energy. If you aren’t inspired, your mindset will suffer. When you are inspired, it changes your mindset.

•Here are some ideas for uplifting events:

–Go to a concert or lecture.

–Go to a museum.

–Go see a movie by yourself or with a friend.

–Get a massage or reiki healing.

–Get acupuncture.

–Walk in a park, forest, beach, desert, or some other place of natural beauty.

–Have a party or meet friends for a drink.

Super Aging Habits

Daily Habits

•Compassion – Practice a daily self-compassion meditation (Chapter 11).

•Keep a gratitude journal.

•Make a God Box or a surrender box. If you find yourself constantly worrying or thinking about the negative, begin to write down your negative thoughts and worries. Place these worries in a box. Place symbols of your worries in the box. If you find you cannot let go of your worries or negative thinking, allow yourself to indulge in thinking negative thoughts or let yourself worry, but put a time limit on it. Set your timer for fifteen minutes or even an hour. When time is up, put your thoughts back in the box. If it is too hard, try doing it the other way around, give yourself fifteen minutes or one hour worry-free, then let yourself worry like crazy the rest of the day or think negatively. You may find you like the worry-free time better.

•Stop Complaining – This is a fascinating exercise from the book, A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted by Will Bowen. I was introduced to this book through yoga teacher Judith Lasater and her yoga club. She asked us to read it and try the exercise, which meant wearing a colorful soft plastic bracelet. The exercise went like this: each time I complained, I would have to move the bracelet from one wrist to the other. It made it oh so obvious just exactly how much I complained. Judith Lasater reminded us that it is human to complain. The real truth is that when we complain, we block ourselves from accepting things as they are or from taking action. Complaining creates a kind of inertia, a stagnation that quietly pollutes our mindset.

•Cease gossiping – Are you talking about someone else? Is what you are saying about another person something that you would feel comfortable saying to their face? If not, stop right now: you are gossiping. Mitch Horowitz, author of The Miracle of A Definite Chief Aim and One Simple Idea: How Positive Thinking Reshaped Modern Life, says that to stop gossiping is like taking a healthful pill. “This formula is free, and it can be yours immediately. It’s only aftereffects are satisfaction, calm, and good spirits.” Stop talking behind people’s back to experience an immediate shift in mindset.