Читать книгу Desire Collection: December Books 1 – 4 - Elizabeth Bevarly - Страница 17

Eight

A virgin!

Piers’s mind was in turmoil even as his body screamed at him to seek the release he’d been so close to attaining.

“Does it make a difference?” Faye asked beneath him in a small voice.

Her skin was still flushed with the aftermath of her orgasm, her eyes still glowed with the confirmation of the satisfaction he’d made it his mission to give her. But it wasn’t enough. It had been her first time and if he’d known... Well, suffice it to say he wouldn’t have taken her on a sofa the way he had.

“Piers?”

“Yes, it makes a difference.”

He was disgusted with himself.

She was his employee. She should have been completely out of bounds. But these past few days he’d allowed himself to push all of his scruples out the door and to focus only on what he’d wanted. And he’d decided he’d wanted her. He still did. His blood still beat hot and fast through his veins with ferocious desire for her, every throb a painful reminder that he hadn’t reached completion. But this wasn’t about him anymore. It should never have been about him. The only person who mattered right here and now was the precious woman who’d trusted him with her virginity. Now it was up to him to make it right.

Without saying anything he rose, scooped her into his arms and began to head up the stairs.

“What are you doing?” she asked as she automatically hooked her arms around his neck.

Her room was just off the gallery. He toed the door open and walked through the darkened room toward the bed. Piers set her on her feet and swept the covers down.

“What am I doing? Well, I’m going to make love to you the way you deserve.”

“But...but...” She sounded confused. “I know you didn’t finish downstairs but you made me—”

Her voice broke as if she couldn’t quite find the words to describe what she’d felt.

He’d have smiled at this—the first time he’d ever seen her at a complete loss for words—if he hadn’t felt so damned serious.

“Lie down on the bed,” he instructed her and reached over to switch on a bedside lamp. “That was nothing.”

“Well, it felt like a whole lot more than nothing to me.”

This time he couldn’t help it. A twinge of male pride tugged his lips into a smile.

“Then you’re really going to enjoy what I have planned for you this time.”

“Oh?” she said with an arch to her brow that made her look a great deal more coquettish and experienced than he’d ever seen from her. “Well, it’ll have to be something else to beat the last time.”

He couldn’t help it. He laughed and then realized this was first time he’d ever actually laughed in a situation like this.

“You know what I said about a challenge,” he murmured as he settled on the mattress and began to stroke her body. “Nothing gives me more satisfaction than beating it—nothing except maybe this.”

He moved to the base of the bed and began to run his fingertips from her feet up her legs. He felt her stiffen as he skimmed over the ropey scars on her feet and lower legs. Understanding her reluctance for him to focus too much attention on them, he moved upward, to her thighs, taking his time as he touched her. He chased each caress with a brush of his lips, a lick of his tongue or a nip of his teeth. Beneath his touch Faye began to quiver again, her thighs becoming rigid beneath his touch.

Yes, she thought he’d showed her pleasure, but that would pale in significance now.

His fingertips brushed the neatly trimmed patch of curls on her mound. He liked that she kept herself natural when so many went hairless these days. He tugged gently before letting his touch soothe again.

Faye squirmed against the sheets. He was drawing closer to the object of his goal and let his fingers drift across her clit.

She went still beneath him, as if trying to anticipate where he’d touch and what he’d do next. Piers smiled to himself as he bent his head lower. He could smell her scent, that wonderful musk of woman—a scent rich with promise that made his erection ache with a pleasure-pain that demanded he hurry this up. But he wouldn’t be hurried. He was a man on a mission.

He touched her again with a fingertip, then let his hand trail to the top of her thighs. Her skin shivered with goose bumps and she clenched her hands in the sheets beside her. It was time. Piers lowered his mouth to her bud, flicking it with his tongue and relishing the taste of her. Faye uttered a startled gasp as he flicked his tongue across her again before blowing a cool stream of air on her heated flesh.

Again she gasped, her hands letting go of the sheets and tangling in his hair instead. He nuzzled her and traced his fingers higher, to the moist folds of skin that hid her entrance and beyond until he gently penetrated her. He felt her muscles tighten around his fingers, felt the shudder that racked her body. Yes, it was definitely time. He closed his mouth around her bud, swirling his tongue around the tiny nub and sucking gently until she was pressing against his mouth with abandon. He withdrew his fingers and then entered them into her body again, mimicking the action his arousal craved.

He tracked every indication of the escalating sensations that grew within her. Knew the exact moment she broke apart into a million pieces of pleasure. She looked so beautiful in her utter abandon that he had to fight to stay under control. He gentled the movement of his tongue, his fingers, until he felt her body begin to relax.

Faye’s legs eased farther apart as she sank deeper into the mattress, and Piers moved between them, positioned himself and slowly slid into her molten heat. There was no resistance this time. No reminder that she had chosen to give herself to him and only him. Even so, he would eternally treasure that gift, treasure her, and make sure she realized just how incredibly special she was to him.

This time he coaxed her slowly to her peak, holding on to his control with every last thread of concentration and only letting himself go as he felt the deep, slow ripple of her climax undulate through her body. And then he let go, allowing his own pleasure to roll like thunder through him.

Spent, he finally collapsed on top of her, his heart pounding in his chest. He wrapped his arms around her slender form and rolled onto his side so that she was nestled up against him.

He pressed his lips to her forehead, feeling closer to her than he’d ever felt to anyone in his life. And he knew he wanted this new closeness between them to continue. He couldn’t imagine his life without her in every aspect of it now.

“Are you okay?” he asked gently, nuzzling her hair and relishing the scent of it.

“Okay? I don’t think I’ve ever felt more okay in my entire life.” Faye’s voice sounded thick and heavy, as though she was drugged with a combination of satisfaction and exhaustion. A soft chuckle escaped her. “I always knew you were a man of your word, but I didn’t expect you to take things quite so literally. I think you can safely say your challenge has been met.”

He smiled in response. “Well, you know what that means, don’t you?”

She stiffened slightly in his arms, and though he wasn’t sure what had triggered that response, Piers stroked the skin of her back to soothe her again.

“What does it mean?” she asked, fighting back a yawn.

“It means I have to do better next time.”

“If there is a next time,” she answered.

“Oh, there’ll be a next time. And a time after that. But for now I think we should rest.”

“Yeah, rest. That’s a good idea. I don’t think my body could handle all of that again too soon.”

“Did I hurt you?” Piers asked, suddenly concerned. He’d done his best to be gentle. To ensure her body was completely ready for him before he’d entered her.

“No, not at all. You were...you were amazing. Thank you.”

He reached for the bedcovers and drew them over her, leaving the bed only long enough to dispense with the protection he’d worn before diving back under the covers and pulling her to him again. He felt that if he let her go she’d simply slip away like an ephemeral creature—there one minute, gone the next.

“Are you comfortable?” he asked.

“Very. I didn’t know it could be like this, sharing a bed with someone else. It’s cozy, isn’t it?”

He laughed softly. “Very cozy.” He fell silent a minute before asking the question that kept echoing in the back of his mind. “Why me, Faye? Why did you let me be your first?”

The minute he allowed the words to fall on the air he knew he’d made a mistake. He could feel her retreat, mentally if not physically.

“Why not?” she answered. “You did seem to be very good at it.”

Now she was using humor to shield herself from revealing the truth. He’d have to tread carefully if he was to work his way past her protective shields without damaging the fragile link they now shared.

“For what it’s worth, I’m honored I was your first. I—” He took a deep breath. Was it too soon? “I care about you, Faye.”

She remained silent for what felt like forever but then he heard her indrawn breath and her voice softly filtered through the darkness around them.

“I care about you, too.”

As admissions went, it was hard-won, and he allowed a swell of relief dosed with a liberal coating of satisfaction to ride through him. It was a good start.

She snuggled right into his chest and he could feel the puffs of her breath against his skin.

“I haven’t had many boyfriends,” she admitted. “After my family died in a car wreck, I just wasn’t interested in much of anything anymore. I was fostered in the same district where I’d grown up, so there was as little disruption to my routine as possible once I was released from hospital. Some of my friends at school...they tried to include me, but as we all got older we drifted apart.”

“I’m sorry about your family, Faye. That must have been tough.”

The words sounded so inane. Not nearly enough to describe his sorrow at the thought of what she must have been through. What would it have been like to suddenly be alone at fifteen? To be without the anchors that kept you feeling safe and loved. Growing up, his parents had been uninvolved, but he’d always had Quin by his side. The grief he’d felt at the loss of his brother had sent him to a dark, lonely place in his mind and it had forced him to reevaluate a lot of things in his life. But at least he’d been an adult while learning to cope with his loss. For Faye, just a teenager, how could she make decisions about her future when everything she’d ever known, every parameter she’d lived her life by, had been gone in a flash?

“Tough, yeah. That’s one word for it. I had lovely foster parents, though. And my mom and stepdad had established a college fund for me so when I aged out of foster care I could choose where I went from there. I didn’t want for anything.”

Anything except for a family. Piers thought about the little boy sleeping down the hall in his bedroom, considered the ready-made family that he and Casey could offer Faye. But he weighed that up with her obvious reluctance to have anything to do with the baby. Did that stem from the losses she’d suffered when she was still a teenager? How on earth did a man wade past that?

* * *

Encircled in Piers’s arms, Faye didn’t feel the usual searing pain that scored her when she thought about her family. Instead it was kind of a dull ache. Still there, still hurting, but muted, as if the edges had softened somehow. The realization made her feel disloyal to their memory. She didn’t deserve this. Didn’t deserve to let any aspect of the memory of their loss slide away. Guilt hammered at her with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer.

This was why she hadn’t encouraged any relationships beyond friendship in the past. And it was why she should never have allowed things between her and Piers to go as far as they’d gone—no matter how fantastic it had been.

She’d made a mistake tonight—several mistakes. From the minute she’d accepted the glass of champagne from Piers to the second she’d allowed him to touch her. What had she been thinking?

Maybe that, for once in her life, she should reach out and sample what others took for granted?

No. She mentally shook her head. She had no right to do that. It was best that she get back on her path alone and leave in the morning as she’d planned. Leave before her heart became too heavily engaged with the man who had drifted to sleep beside her, not to mention the child he was determined to claim for his own.

Decision made, she closed her eyes, willing herself to drift to sleep. Goodness knew her body felt so sated and weary that sleep should have come easily. But for some reason her mind wouldn’t let go, wouldn’t allow her to find peace.

Instead she found herself concentrating on the smallest of things, like the way Piers’s fingers continued to stroke her bare back every now and then, even though he was asleep. Like the deep, regular sound of his breathing and the scent of his skin. She would store these memories and lock them away, and maybe one day she’d be strong enough to think about them, about this magical night, again.

* * *

Faye woke to an empty bed and felt a rush of relief. At least the whole morning-after thing could be delayed until she was showered, dressed, packed and ready to leave. She shifted in the bedsheets, catching a drift of Piers’s cologne. Just that tiny thing made her body tighten on a wave of longing so piercing that it almost brought tears to her eyes.

Instead of giving in to her emotions, Faye did what she’d always done. She focused on what needed to be accomplished first. That, at least, was something she could control.

Once dressed and packed, she double-checked the bathroom and bedroom to ensure she was leaving nothing behind and headed down the stairs to put her suitcase by the front door. She could hear Piers and Casey in the kitchen. With her stomach in knots, she walked toward the sound. Piers had his back to her and was talking a bunch of nonsense to the baby, who was staring up at him in rapt attention.

Faye would never have thought her heart could break any further than it already had, but the sight of those two was just about her undoing. Once again, tears sprang to her eyes. She blinked them back fiercely and turned to a cupboard to drag a mug out for her morning coffee.

“Good morning,” Piers said. “Did you sleep well?”

“Better than I expected,” she answered shortly.

“Me, too,” he answered with a smile that sent a curl of lust winding through her.

This is impossible, she thought as she grabbed the carafe from the coffee machine and poured the steaming liquid into her mug. Just a look from him, a smile, and she was as pathetically eager for his attention as all his other women. Did that mean she was one of them now? She straightened her shoulders. No, it most certainly did not. One night did not change anything as far as she was concerned. If she could just get back to her apartment and back to a routine, everything would be okay.

She watched as Piers took the baby bottle from the warmer and gave it a little shake before testing a few drops on his wrist.

“Sir, your breakfast is served!” he said to the infant with a delightfully dramatically flourish.

Casey gave him a massive gummy grin in return. His little legs kicked wildly as Piers offered him the bottle.

“You’re good with him,” Faye observed. “Are you still going to keep him?”

“Yes.”

The answer was simple and emphatic. No fluffing about responsibilities or honoring his brother’s memory or anything like that. Just a simple yes.

She envied him his conviction.

Piers looked up at her and she saw something new in his gaze.

“Is it ridiculous to say that I love him already?” he asked.

She’d never known him to sound insecure about anything. Ever. That he should feel that way about Casey just made him even more human, more attractive. She shook her head.

“No, it’s not.”

Piers nodded in acceptance and turned his attention back to the little boy.

Faye took advantage of the shift in focus to start making breakfast. “Have you eaten?” she asked.

“Yeah, I ate when I got up. It was early, though. I could go a second round.”

She busied herself making omelets with the last of the ingredients she could find in the refrigerator. It was a good thing the road would be cleared today and that Meredith, who’d been waiting at a motel in town, would be able to come through with supplies.

Faye was just plating up the food when the phone rang with the news that a crew had cleared the road up to the fallen tree and was now working to clear the log. The news made Faye feel as if every nerve in her body had coiled tight, ready to spring free the moment she could leave the building.

The next two hours were an exercise in torment as she tried to catch up on emails while Piers lay on the floor and played with the baby before putting him to bed for another nap. The moment she heard a sound near the front door she was up and all but running to let the newcomer inside.

“Ms. Darby! Are you all right? I saw your car. It’s a miracle you’re still alive!”

Piers’s housekeeper bustled inside and grasped Faye by her upper arms, giving her a once-over as if checking for injuries. “Oh, Ms. Darby—your face!”

“It’s okay, Meredith. It’s what happened when the airbag went off. I wasn’t hurt aside from that, and I’m almost all healed,” Faye said as brightly as she could.

Satisfied Faye hadn’t been seriously injured, Meredith gave her a nod and then drew her in for a quick hug, which Faye endured good-naturedly. She wasn’t a hugger but she was used to Meredith’s overwhelming need to mother everyone in her sphere.

“I’m fine, Meredith. I take it the road is clear now?”

“Yes, they’ve moved your wreck to the side and taken away most of the tree. Some of it will have to wait until they can get some heavier equipment up, but there’s room to squeeze by.”

Faye had expected to feel relieved at the news. Actually, she’d expected to feel jubilant. Instead there was a hollow sense of loss looming inside her. She shoved the thought away before it could take hold.

“Well, that’s a relief!” she said with all the brightness she could muster. “I think I’m suffering a bit of cabin fever. I can’t wait to get home.”

“Mr. Luckman! I’m so glad to see you!” Meredith gushed effusively over Faye’s shoulder.

Faye turned and saw the swiftly masked look of disappointment in Piers’s eyes. Had he really thought that a spectacular night of sex would change her mind about leaving? She already knew there was a flight out early this afternoon. She had to be on it. She couldn’t stay another minute or maybe she would change her mind and stay—and what then? More risk? More chance of loss? More joy and pleasure that she didn’t deserve and couldn’t allow herself to enjoy? No, it was far better that she left now.

“Meredith, good to see you, too.”

“How have you been managing?” Meredith said, fussing over him.

“Just fine, thanks, Meredith. You left us so well stocked we could have stayed here a month on our own.”

Faye suppressed a shudder. A month? She could never have lasted that long and still left with her sanity intact. In a month Casey would have grown and changed and wound her completely around his pudgy little fingers. And a whole month confined here with Piers? She tried to think of the reasons why that was a bad idea but her newly awakened libido kept shouting them down. Every last one. Which in itself was exactly why she needed to put distance between her and Piers.

“We have run out of diapers, however,” Piers continued. “I hope you got my text to add them and baby food to the groceries.”

“I did. But why on earth...?” Meredith looked from Piers to Faye for an explanation.

Faye shrugged and looked at Piers. “You can explain it. I really need to get going. Meredith, after we’ve unloaded your car, can I borrow it to get to the airport? I’ll organize for someone to return it for you.”

Over Meredith’s iron-gray curls, Faye saw Piers looking at her again. His expression appeared relaxed but she could see tiny lines of strain around his eyes.

“Do you really need to run away right now?” he asked.

“I can’t stay. You know that. I have things to do. Places to go. People to see.”

He knew she was lying, she could see it in the bleak expression that reflected back at her. Faye turned away. She couldn’t bear to see his disappointment and it irritated her that it mattered to her so much.

She grabbed her coat, scurried down the front steps to where Meredith had left her station wagon and started to take bags of groceries from the rear. Piers was at her side before she could make her way back to the house.

“You know you’re running away.”

“I’m doing nothing of the kind. I wasn’t supposed to be here in the first place, remember?”

“You’re running away,” he repeated emphatically. “But are you running away from me or from yourself?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not running anywhere,” she snapped and pushed past him to take the groceries to the house.

He was too astute. She’d always admired his perceptiveness in the workplace but she hated it when he applied it to her. Behind her she heard him grab the remaining sacks of supplies and follow her up the stairs.

She made her way swiftly to the kitchen, where Meredith was already taking inventory of what needed to be done.

He was close behind her, and as he brushed past he whispered in her ear, “Liar. I’d hoped you might change your plans and spend Christmas here with Casey and me. We don’t have to worry about anyone else.”

Words hovered on the edge of her lips—acceptance and denial warring with one another.

“Thanks, but no thanks,” she eventually said, hoping she’d injected just the right amount of lightness into her tone.

“Faye, we need to talk. C’mon, stay. It’s Christmas Eve.”

The last three words were the reminder she needed. Christmas Eve. The anniversary of the death of her family. Shame filled her that she’d lost track of the days.

“I really need to go,” she said, her voice hollow.

Meredith handed her the set of keys to the station wagon. “There you go, Ms. Darby. There’s plenty of gas in the tank.”

“Thanks, Meredith. I’ll take good care of it, I promise. I’ll leave Mr. Luckman to explain why he needs all these diapers,” Faye answered, patting the bumper pack she’d carried in with the bags from the car.

Before Piers could stop her, she slipped out of the kitchen, through the main room and out the front door. The finality of pulling the heavy door closed behind her sent a shaft of anguish stinging through her, but she ignored it and kept going. It was the only way she could cope. She was used to loss. Used to pain. She’d honed her ability to survive, to get through every single day, on both those things. And, somehow, she’d get through this day exactly the same way.