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Mean feat no-meat meatballs

Squished into a burger, in a bun with Dan’s Fry Sauce

One of my biggest peeves as a non-meat eater is restaurants thinking that if you want a burger, you want a wholemeal bun and none of the good stuff. If I want a burger I want it ALL, just not the meat. I want cheese (there’s a time and place for sliced cheese and it’s here and now), I want pickles, I want lettuce and I want plenty of sauce. My mate Dan created this ‘Fry Sauce’ recipe. Originating in Utah, this is used as a sauce in burgers, as a dip for fries and even as a dressing for salad. The standard version is simply one part ketchup to two parts mayonnaise (so that’s basically prawn cocktail sauce, right?), but most burger joints have their own closely guarded recipes, with additional bits. Inspired, Dan knocked up his own version, which is, as he would say, ‘frigging superb’. Tangy and spicy, yet smooth.

Serves 4

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2 tsp olive oil, plus extra for greasing

12 uncooked Mean Feat No-meat Meatballs

4 burger buns

a few leaves of little gem lettuce, shredded

½ red onion, peeled and finely diced

2 dill pickles, sliced

4 slices of burger cheese

4 portions of chips, to serve (optional)

For the Fry Sauce

1 tbsp French’s classic yellow mustard

1½ tbsp Heinz ketchup

2 heaped tbsp Hellman’s mayonnaise

1 tsp Colman’s English mustard

2 heaped tbsp finely chopped gherkins or cornichons

2 dashes of Tabasco

1 dash of Worcestershire sauce

freshly ground black pepper

Preheat the oven to 180°C/350°F/Gas mark 4.

Line a baking tray with foil, grease with a little olive oil and set to one side. Use wet hands to combine 3 of the Mean Feat No-meat Meatballs to make 1 burger patty. Repeat until you have 4 patties. Place the patties on the lined tray, use your finger to brush the tops with the oil, and place in the oven to cook for 30–35 minutes, turning halfway through. You could stick some chips in the oven at the same time. I won’t stop you.

While the burgers are cooking, make the sauce. Just mix everything together in a small bowl with a pinch of black pepper. That’s it. Set to one side and toast the buns cut-side down in a dry frying pan over a medium heat until lightly golden.

Assemble the burgers. I’d suggest: Fry sauce on the base bun, lettuce, onion, pickles, burger, cheese, more sauce, top bun. But it’s up to you.