Читать книгу No River Too Wide - Emilie Richards - Страница 13

Chapter 6

Taylor Martin braked in the driveway of the Reynolds Farm and wished she could turn the car around and take Maddie home, where her daughter could pout and complain out of earshot. She was fairly certain that not having an audience wouldn’t actually stop Maddie—there was always a girlfriend at the end of the phone line to sympathize—but better a prepubescent peer than Taylor herself.

Instead, because Harmony was waiting for them, she came to a stop and waited for the girl to fall silent. She reminded herself that for most of Maddie’s existence, Taylor had only hoped for a normal life for her child, a life in which every move, every decision, wasn’t factored through the reality of epileptic seizures.

Now, following surgery that had transformed Maddie’s future, she had her wish. These days every move, every decision was instead factored through the normal reality of approaching adolescence. And at eleven, this was just the beginning.

“Are we finished?” she asked when the only remaining sound was the twilight serenade of crickets in the woods nearby and, from closer to the house, the grouchy bleating of a goat.

“We weren’t talking. I was talking, and you weren’t listening.”

“You’re wrong. I heard every word you said. I am not going to leave you at home alone in the evenings when your grandfather can’t stay with you. You are only eleven, and now that we’ve moved, we don’t know our neighbors well enough to ask them to intervene in an emergency. For now, you’re going to have to buck up and go to meetings and classes with me.”

“You don’t trust me.”

Taylor turned to face her daughter’s profile. “Are you going to spoil our fun tonight? Harmony doesn’t get many chances to get away without Lottie. I think she’s looking forward to having dinner together and watching a movie. I hope she won’t regret going with us.”

Maddie said something that wasn’t audible, which was probably a good thing. Then she muttered louder, “Can I have a hamburger? I eat them in Tennessee.”

Taylor tried not to smile. She had raised her daughter to be a vegetarian. Harmony was a vegetarian. Of course eating meat in front of them would be Maddie’s revenge.

“You can have anything you want. You know that. As long as you have vegetables with it.”

“French fries are a vegetable.”

“Healthy vegetables,” Taylor amended. “I know you eat meat when you’re at your father’s house, but he tells me he’s also big on salads and cooked veggies, and he limits fried foods to special treats.”

“I liked it better when the two of you weren’t speaking.”

Actually Maddie hadn’t liked that at all, since the discord between Jeremy Larsen and Taylor had been tough on everybody. But now that her parents were on better terms, it was easier for them to present a united front, along with Jeremy’s wife, Willow, who was an excellent stepmother and followed their lead.

“You could probably stay here and help Rilla with Lottie and the boys,” Taylor said. “I could pick you up again when I drop off Harmony tonight.”

“It’s kind of weird that you two are friends now.”

“Why? We’re both goddesses. We see each other a lot.”

Taylor and Harmony were both trustees of a house in the mountains near Asheville that had been left to a small group of women by Charlotte Hale, Taylor’s mother. Because Charlotte had particularly loved the story of Kuan Yin, a Buddhist goddess who had remained on earth anonymously after death to continue helping those who suffered, they had taken the name Goddesses Anonymous for their little group. Together they tried in whatever ways they could to follow the example of Kuan Yin and help other women who might need them.

Not that any of them really thought they lived up to Kuan Yin’s standard.

“Well, I think it’s weird because Harmony was friends with Grandma when you weren’t even speaking to her. You’re like...rivals.”

Taylor wondered why this had never come up before. She wondered if Maddie and her close friend Edna, daughter of Samantha, another of the goddesses, had been discussing it.

“Life is complicated,” Taylor said, and without looking she could imagine Maddie’s eyes rolling. “Here’s what you need to learn from everything that happened with Mom and me. We loved each other, but we let our differences get in the way. I held a grudge for years, almost to the end of her life, and I was wrong to do that. Very wrong. Your grandmother wanted badly for us to be close again, and when she couldn’t make that happen she kind of adopted Harmony, who needed her.”

“And you don’t feel jealous?”

Taylor did look at Maddie now and saw that she was actually engaged in the conversation, interested. Her brown hair fell around her earnest little face. “I don’t. I feel humbled.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I wish I could do something for Harmony to pay her back for what she did for Mom, Maddie. Because she really helped your grandmother feel like she had a reason to live and a place in the world, something I didn’t do until it was almost too late.”

“But she died, anyway.”

“Yeah, she did. But she died knowing she’d made a difference. And thanks to Harmony, who helped me see what a mistake I was making, your grandmother died knowing how much I loved her, despite everything. And she got to spend time with you, which meant everything to her.”

“That is complicated.”

“Tell me about it.” Taylor started the car again and shifted into drive. “So no, I’m not jealous. Harmony was like a bridge where your grandmother and I could meet after too many years apart. She probably doesn’t realize how much she did for us both.”

“Why did Harmony need Grandma? Doesn’t she have family?”

Taylor knew that was Harmony’s story to tell and not hers. “She couldn’t be with them. I think there are problems there.”

“The kind you had with Grandma?”

“I don’t know the whole story.”

“And now that Grandma’s gone, Harmony’s all alone?” Maddie paused and thought that through. “No, I guess she has lots of people. All the goddesses, for sure.”

“So let’s go feed her and take her to a movie. What do you say?”

“That’s pretty lame after all she did for us.” Now Maddie sounded bored.

Taylor knew their moment of communication had ended. These days her daughter was as difficult to predict as the autumn weather, and often as stormy.

“It’s a start,” she said as she drove toward the house.

Taylor had expected to meet Harmony at the Reynoldses’ house, since that was where Lottie was supposed to spend the evening, but when they pulled into the farmyard she saw that all the lights were on in the garage apartment where Harmony lived.

“I guess she’s at her own place,” she said, and parked near the base of the stairs. “She’s probably getting Lottie’s things for Rilla.”

Outside the car Taylor took a moment to stretch. She was physically active, too active sometimes, and late this afternoon before enticing Maddie into the car she had taught a ninety-minute hot yoga class in a 105-degree studio. While she had carefully hydrated before and after, she realized she was still thirsty. On top of a full morning of consulting with the contractors who were turning an old building in the River Arts District into Evolution, a brand-new health and wellness studio, she was dragging.

“I would like living in the country,” Maddie said. “Daddy and Willow do. It’s so peaceful there, and nobody bothers you.”

Taylor lifted her hair off the back of her neck and wondered if she ought to cut it boy-short again if she was going to work this hard. “Nobody bothers us at home in Asheville, either.”

“But you could leave me alone in the country and not worry.”

“Get over it, kiddo. I wouldn’t leave you alone anywhere. Let’s go get Harmony.” Taylor started toward the steps, but the grumbling Maddie didn’t follow. Velvet, Harmony’s golden retriever and the mother of their own dog, Vanilla, came around the corner, and Maddie squatted to pet her.

“We’ll be down in a few minutes,” Taylor told her, and escaped.

Upstairs on the tiny porch she heard women’s voices from inside the apartment. Assuming that Rilla was helping Harmony get Lottie ready, she waited, but when Harmony opened the door and Taylor saw an older woman who strongly resembled her friend, she wondered if she had been wrong about their plans for the night.

“Taylor...” Harmony looked surprised, too; then she shook her head. “It’s later than I thought. I lost track of the time.” She hesitated, then stepped aside and let Taylor in.

“If something came up we can go another evening.” Taylor smiled at Harmony’s visitor, who was holding Lottie. Then before she could stop herself she asked, “You look familiar. Have we met?”

“I’m Jan,” the woman said, and returned Taylor’s smile with a strained one of her own.

Harmony was looking back and forth between the two women, as if she was trying to decide what to say. Finally she shrugged. “Mom, Taylor isn’t going to tell anybody you were here. You don’t have to worry.”

Jan looked troubled, but she gave a short nod.

Harmony turned back to Taylor. “This is my mother, Janine Stoddard. She just arrived.”

“Jan,” the woman said. “I always preferred it.”

“I never heard anybody call you Jan,” Harmony said.

“Because your father preferred Janine.”

Taylor was trying to remember everything she knew about Harmony’s family life, but none of this was making sense. “Are you visiting?” she asked. “It’s nice to meet you at last.”

“I’m just here for the night,” Jan said.

Taylor realized now that Harmony had been crying and still looked upset. “Look, this is obviously a bad time for me to be here.”

But Harmony was already addressing her mother. “Mom, we can be honest about why you’re here. Taylor knows about Dad.”

Jan looked unhappy at Harmony’s words, and Taylor grew even more uncomfortable.

“I ought to leave,” Taylor said.

“Mom left my father. She finally managed to get away. And I’m trying to get her to stay here with me.”

Now Taylor was at a complete loss. “I shouldn’t be involved.”

“It’s complicated,” Jan said, as if she hoped that would put an end to the discussion.

“My father’s a scary man,” Harmony went on, ignoring Taylor’s protests and her mother’s obvious discomfort. “She’s been afraid to leave him for years, because she knew if he found her he would retaliate, and now that she’s done it, she’s afraid if she stays he’ll trace her here and take it out on me, or even on Lottie.”

Taylor wasn’t sure now whether she was feeling light-headed from the hot yoga or the conversation. Whatever it was, she suddenly felt weak-kneed. “I think I need a glass of water and a place to sit.”

Without a word Harmony motioned to the sofa and left for the kitchenette. Taylor gratefully took a seat while Jan walked back and forth with the baby.

“I know this sounds crazy,” Harmony said when she returned with a glass. “I’m sorry you walked into the middle of it.”

Taylor drank half the water before she finally rested the glass on her jean-clad knee. “He’s that bad?” She addressed the question to Jan.

Jan looked torn. She didn’t answer.

“You left him, but you can’t admit how frightening he is?” Harmony asked her mother. “Can’t you tell her how many times he hit you or how many bones he’s broken?”

“He’s possessive and...” Jan hesitated, then lifted her eyes to Taylor’s. “I’m afraid he’s capable of almost anything where I’m concerned.”

“Has he ever hurt anybody else?”

“He’s a successful businessman,” Harmony said. “He’s also a deacon in our church, and he used to be on the boards of two charities, maybe still is. I don’t think anybody really likes him, but they respect him well enough. Unless he changed after I left home, he was careful to save his fury for his family, mostly Mom. When he was angry at other people, his revenge was always more subtle or aimed at us.” She looked at her mother. “Is that still accurate?”

Jan looked distressed, but she nodded.

“He sounds like a monster,” Taylor said, and waited for Jan to deny it. When she didn’t, Taylor began to get the full picture.

She wished one of the other goddesses, Analiese or Georgia, had walked into this instead of her. They were both older and more experienced. Analiese was a minister, used to dealing with family problems, and Georgia was a school administrator who worked with difficult kids and their difficult home lives every day. Her own degree was in health and wellness promotion, and it had never prepared her for this.

But she was here, and they were not.

“What can I do?” she asked, when nothing more profound occurred to her.

Jan was a slight woman, rail thin and haggard, but now that she was inside, Taylor could see even more clearly the resemblance to Harmony. “There’s nothing to do. I have to leave. I can’t stay here.”

Her conviction was absolute. Taylor could hear it. “But where will you go?”

“I’ve laid plans. I’ve been...working on getting away for a long time, and I have help.”

“Mom says Dad will think she’s gone west.”

“But you’re not going west?” Taylor asked.

“She’s not going anywhere,” Harmony said. “She’s going to stay here, with her daughter and granddaughter. Dad’s not going to find us. I’ve been in Asheville since high school graduation, and he never traced me here.”

Taylor thought Harmony was being a bit naive. Motivation was a powerful factor. If Harmony’s father viewed his wife as property he’d been robbed of, he would undoubtedly do anything to find her.

“Do you have another place you really want to go?” Taylor asked Jan. She watched as Jan looked down at her granddaughter, and before she looked up again the longing on her face was clear and strong.

“It’s not about wanting to go anywhere. I just know I can’t stay here. And Harmony and Lottie can’t come with me. We shouldn’t be in the same place at the same time... Not until I know Rex isn’t looking anymore.”

“How will you know that?”

“People are watching him.”

Taylor liked the sound of that. “Then they’ll be able to keep track of where he is and when?”

“Not every moment.”

“But generally.”

Jan shrugged.

“Can you be nearby?” Taylor asked. “Where you and Harmony can see each other sometimes if you’re careful? At least until you know it’s safe?”

“It would be safer to be far away.”

“Okay, safer, maybe, but would it be safe enough to be, say, on the other side of Asheville, with somebody who knows you both?”

“I...”

“You?” Harmony asked.

“I’m twenty miles away, and you and I don’t see each other very often. We’re both too busy and it’s too far to be easy.” Taylor realized she and Harmony were making plans for Jan without consulting her.

She turned to Harmony’s mother. “Jan, I just moved into my father’s house in a quiet neighborhood. He’s living in a condo, and Maddie, my daughter, and I needed more room, so we bought his place, although he still uses the workshop out back, so he’s around a lot. Maddie’s eleven. We have an extra bedroom where you can stay.”

“I couldn’t—”

Taylor suddenly realized how ideal this could be. “Look, it’s not charity. Please don’t think of it that way. Maddie and I fought all the way over here because she hates the way I drag her to classes and meetings. I’m renovating an old warehouse, and turning it into a health and wellness center, and I can’t leave Maddie alone at night if I have to go over to the site or teach a class. Sometimes my dad or her father’s parents can stay with her, and sometimes she can go to a friend’s house. But on school nights that’s not a great idea. She thinks she’s too old for a babysitter. But if you were staying with us, anyway...” She let her voice trail off.

“Mom, that would work, wouldn’t it?” Harmony was pleading. “Taylor’s a good half hour away from here. If we were really careful we could still see each other sometimes. And I would know where you were and how you were doing. It’s perfect.”

“And if Rex finds me at your house?” Jan asked Taylor.

The silence was heavy for a moment, until Taylor sat forward. “We live in a neighborhood with people all around us. And you said yourself he’s only violent with his own family.”

“That’s not a guarantee.”

“He was never violent in public,” Harmony said. “I think—” She stopped.

“What?” Taylor asked.

Harmony looked at her mother. “If he located you and wanted to hurt you, Mom, he would make sure to get you off by yourself. He wouldn’t do it in front of anybody else or anywhere he might get caught. I don’t think there’s a chance he would want anybody to see or know what he’d done unless there was no other choice. He’s too smart to risk hurting strangers.”

“It’s taking too big a risk.”

Taylor’s mind was whirling. “Isn’t anywhere a risk? Are you going to live by yourself for the rest of your life because he might find you and hurt somebody in your house, or on your block, or in your city? You’ll always be near somebody. This is as good a situation as there is. We’ll be alert, and we’ll be careful, plus he’s got to realize that by now all kinds of people must know the story behind your escape, so he would be the first suspect if anything happened to any of us. I’ll get a security system. And if people are watching him in...” She looked at Harmony for help.

“Topeka.”

“Topeka,” Taylor said, “then with luck we’ll have warning if he leaves town, so we can be extra vigilant.”

Jan was shaking her head. “You have a child? You want to expose her to this?”

“I’ll tell you what. I’ll run this by a friend who knows more about this kind of thing than I do. But I think she’ll agree that Maddie and I aren’t taking much of a risk. If she doesn’t agree, we’ll figure out something else.”

Jan still looked torn, but she didn’t say no.

“How careful have you been?” Taylor asked. “How good is the trail that’s supposed to lead him out West if he looks for you?”

Jan looked away. “It’s not complete yet. I...I left before we had everything in place.”

“But?” Taylor heard that word in Jan’s voice.

“The people who are helping me are very good,” she said at last.

“They’ve done this before?”

Jan nodded.

“With success?”

She nodded again.

“Jan, I think you have to take another chance.” Taylor got to her feet and held out her arms for Lottie, who held out her own and went right into them. “You left this man and you arranged for help to do it. You made it all the way here to be with Harmony and see your granddaughter. You’re resourceful and obviously careful, and you’re being helped by people who are both, as well. We can be both, too. Don’t sell yourself short, and don’t sell us short. We can make this safe for everybody and help you get a new start.”

“It’s asking too much.”

Taylor looked at Harmony, whose eyes were welling with tears. Then she looked back at Jan, whose eyes were beginning to brim, too.

She settled Lottie on her hip, and lightly rested her free hand on Jan’s shoulder and squeezed. “I owe your daughter so much, Jan. I’ll tell you the whole story once you’re settled in your room at my house. But let me do this for Harmony. Let me do this for you, okay? Let me do this for me.”